You know he only became a DJ to get girls

May 23rd, 2007 · 17 comments

Jenny insists this note wasn’t just because the dude wouldn’t take her request for “Toxic.” (“The DJ really sucked!”)

This party would be better if the music didn't fucking suck. xox Meagan + Jenny

→ 17 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · excessive underlining · heart · music · xoxo


The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”

May 22nd, 2007 · 36 comments

I don’t want to oversell this, but the following series of three signs (sent in by a health-club patron who wishes to remain nameless) just became my new all-time favorite. I love so many things about Richard G. Sells’s first masterpiece (below) that I don’t even know where to begin.

Twice someone has crapped all over the wall, back of the toilet, under the toilet, on the seat, under the seat, and on the floor without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool [sic] itself.

The best part, I think, might be the Freudian slip mid-way through (“…without getting any of the crap in the toilet stool itself.”)

But it doesn’t end there! Read acts 2 and 3.

→ 36 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · bathroom · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2007 · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · shit


How hazing rituals are born

May 22nd, 2007 · 12 comments

Jimmy in Worcester brings this jaunty little note from the Lambda Chi Alpha House at WPI.

Says Jimmy: “The kid whose cookware was hidden ended up just leaving the utensils (tongs, spatula, etc…) wherever they were hidden and simply bought a new set. This forced the kid who originally hid them to find them again before they started to stink up the place.”

Just in case you needed another reason to pass on the Lambda Chis’ rush-week pancake breakfast…

Dear Brother Who's Cooking Supplies Were Left Here,  You may notice that they are all one, where they are I cannot tell you. all I can say is that they are strategically hidden throughout the house. The time that it takes you to find them all should equal the time it took to clean up after you and the big mess you left in the kitchen (and not to mention all summer.) Happy Hunting! -FUBAR

→ 12 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · dishes · fratboys · kitchen · stealing · Worcester


And/or random things

May 22nd, 2007 · 11 comments

Such a perfect little hat trick at the end of this note (submitted by Laura in Baltimore) — the four exclamation points, the heart, the “thx.”

Please refrain from leaving piles of work and/or random things on my chair when I'm away! It makes me want to poke my eyes out!!!

→ 11 CommentsFILED UNDER: Baltimore · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · heart · office · thx


But…but that’s not really passive-aggressive!

May 22nd, 2007 · 16 comments

Um, yeah. I know.

For the purposes of this project, we’re using a pretty broad (and to some extent, arbitrary) definition of “passive-aggressive” — one that roughly correlates with how the term is popularly used. (Most people don’t go diving for the dsm IV when someone describes his or her roommate as “so passive-aggressive” or “so antisocial” or “so sadistic” or “so schizo,” for that matter.)

Some of the notes here are really more aggressive, and some of them are just plain passive, but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into a written note rather than a face-to-face confrontation.

While it may be more accurate, “asshole-ish notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers” just doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as easily, you know?

→ 16 CommentsFILED UNDER: memo


That means you, Freda

May 21st, 2007 · 11 comments

Danny snapped this understated little note at a senior center in Marysville, Missouri. It seems a bit futile, really. I know that no sign would stop my grandmother from putting in her two cents.

Please do not tell the other player how to shoot or play unless they ask for your opinion. Thanks.

→ 11 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · Missouri · old folks · unsolicited feedback


Some legionnaire’s idea of epigrammatic wit

May 21st, 2007 · 10 comments

I realize this example (from outside the American Legion HQ in Park Slope, Brooklyn) is not so much “passive-aggressive” as it is “crazy,” but it tickles me too much not to post. The little species/feces couplet has been painted over and re-written at least twice, so obviously I’m not the only one who appreciated it.

CONDEMNED NO LITTERING. Dump no garbage here. Join the human species - don't dump - even feces!

DO NOT LITTER. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

You can’t tell from these photos, but this little storefront stands as one of the few bastions on Fifth Avenue that the armies of invading gentrifiers couldn’t take down with their industrial-size nozzles of mrs. meyer’s and turn into a precious little bakery selling organic dog cupcakes. While I was taking these photos a man in a lawn chair was either yelling at me to stop or trying to sell me a ratty old suitcase.

→ 10 CommentsFILED UNDER: Brooklyn · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · more aggressive than passive · Park Slope · shit


With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

May 21st, 2007 · 17 comments

This lovely petri dish courtesy of Ben, who explains: “While living in a house in London with 17 people from all over the world, things become way too green. This had to be done every once in a while in order to remind others not to overpopulate our kitchen with new living organisms.”

If you don't want GREEN stuff growing out of our plates, please wash your dishes. Cheers

related: Maybe someone can do this dishes? :)

→ 17 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · dishes · London · roommates


No smelly foods

May 21st, 2007 · 16 comments

It started with “no smelly foods,” says Kathleen, and escalated from there.

related: NO FISH in the microwave!

→ 16 CommentsFILED UNDER: excessive underlining · food · group bitchfest · microwave · odor · office · smartass


That shit is disrespectful.

May 20th, 2007 · 51 comments

Mike gets the last word in this exchange.

WTF Mike, I just sat in some piss on the seat. Clean up after yourself! That shit is disrespectful. -KreggOh please. Last I used the toilet I was sitting, reading a book. Am I to hear I have magical flying piss now? Let's not even get me started on cleanliness issues, shall we? And honestly, stop it w/ the passive-aggressive notes and walk-by accusations. "that shit is disrespectful" -Mike

→ 51 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Baton Rouge · meta · piss · roommates · that's disrespectful · toilet