Writes Mark in the U.K.: “My friend went over to his sister’s place to house sit for a week and when he arrived he was greeted with this. The ‘help yourself to our empty cupboards’ bit is a joy in itself, but having to be told not to try on her housemate’s lingerie is a total gem.”
“My dear, sweet grandmother is a treasure in my life,” writes Jessi in Dallas. To her horror, however, she realized — upon receiving this anonymous postcard from ‘a friend,’ — that she had forgotten to wish her grandmother a happy birthday this year.
Already feeling pretty guilty, says Jessi: “I immediately called her and received an additional 40-minute guilt trip over the phone. Today I sent her a birthday card in the mail.” Still, Jessi can’t help but how long it’ll be before she makes it off of Grandma’s “naughty list.”
Writes Katy in Tampa: “The vending machines in my office are old, and they eat someone’s money at least once a week. The vending machine guy told us to put a sticky on the machine saying how much money you lost and he’ll refund it when he comes to fill the machine. Apparently the machine was hungry this week.”
So, that was two weeks ago. Katy just wrote again with a follow-up: “Since the vending machine company has ignored our pleas to fix the machine, the notes just keep on coming.”
Danny works for a small print company in London. “Our lovely cleaner only comes in once a week, so it falls upon the rest of us to keep the office neat and tidy.” Danny says that, judging from this creation — made up hundreds of punched paper holes — “I’ve got a feeling that someone feels that they are doing more than their fair share.”
Lately, whenever I read a note like this, I can’t help but think of this bit by Louis CK:
Exhibit a) Spotted independently by both Kendy and Jane on the front gate of a cottage in a small English village. Writes Kendy: “I was surprised that in such a peaceful little place there were thieves bold enough to steal a child’s toy — and equally bold locals willing to publish their death wish to said thief!”
Exhibit b) From an office in Texas
Exhibit c) Found by John in Atlanta on the windshield of his car — which was parked just fine, he adds!
Exhibit d) Also from Atlanta, specifically the campus of Georgia Tech — Justin says this was posted by every bike rack in the vicinity of the Electrical Engineering building. (So he ripped one down, took it home, and scanned it.)
Writes our submitter in Michigan: “My sister-in-law graduated high school recently, and apparently calling to congratulate her — as opposed to driving 1200 miles to attend the ceremony — was a major slight.” (A slight I’m guessing she’d be willing to graciously overlook in exchange for 50 bucks or so.)
Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “We do not have air-conditioned hallways in my building, so there’s been an ongoing debate on my floor about how open the hallway windows need to be for maximum airflow.” Suddenly…SCIENCE!
"I once invited a couple and their 7 year old for dinner. I received a detailed list of what the child would eat. Not a list like "pasta, cheese, pizza," but a list that included brand names, types of cheese, and the SHAPE THE CHEESE SHOULD BE CUT INTO. I tried to follow the list & thought I was golden, but was greeted by wails because the pasta was the wrong shape.
Do I need to mention that I have never invited them over again??"