Is this chicken, what just hit me in the head, or is this fish?

March 12th, 2010 · 61 comments

This week’s “WTF? Friday” contribution comes from Carey in Brooklyn, who spotted this warning taped to a telephone pole at a busy intersection in Long Island City. “I looked around carefully,” Carey says, “but there were no flying missiles to be seen.”

Cans of tuna fish are being thrown out of windows on this corner. This is not a joke. A can of tuna fish was launched at a friend and I as we stood on the corner of 47th Avenue and 11th Street. Be careful you don't get hit in the head by one of these mysteriously flying cans! The culprit is a little coward, so keep your eyes open.

related: passive-allergic

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→ 61 CommentsFILED UNDER: new york · queens · visual aids · warning


I just hope this driver doesn’t have any tattoos

March 11th, 2010 · 82 comments

Kit from Austin spotted this vigilante service vehicle during a road trip through Colorado…

If your [sic] passing me your [sic] speeding

And although the photo below was taken in Toronto, I’d like to imagine the message was scrawled in lipstick by a frustrated passenger just before passing the car above.

LEARN TO SPELL

related: Smug Alert

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→ 82 CommentsFILED UNDER: car · colorado · spelling and grammar police · your/you're


The time-tested “sausage, egg and cheese” diet

March 10th, 2010 · 146 comments

Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?

Dear Dirty-Rotten Fridge Raider, The following words describe you: -Thief: one that steals especially steathily or secretly -Despicable: so worthless or immoral as to rouse moral indignation -Rude: offensive in manner or action, discourteous -Jerk: an annoyingly stupid or foolish person The breakfast sandwich that you helped yourself to, without permission, was clearly marked with MY NAME and yesterday's date. YOU ARE NOT ME and therefore had no right to help yourself to MY Jimmy Dean, turkey sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich. Which, by the way, I miss dearly. Did you know that it had 250 calories? I did. Because I am on a special diet intended to help me lose weight and lower my cholesterol. Bringing my own food also helps maintain my weekly budget. But now, thanks to you, I have to go to the cafe  and spend money on something that doesn't fit the parameters of my special diet or budget. So thanks and bravo! Yay you!!

related: It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich

extra credit: This is why you’re fat.

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→ 146 CommentsFILED UNDER: bullet points · food · obnoxious definition · office fridge · stealing · thanks (but not really) · that's disrespectful


Launching a cannonball at the breeders

March 9th, 2010 · 284 comments

Emily in Richmond, Virginia says this note was recently posted in her apartment building, “right next to a note complaining about a) the tenants in the building that have parties and don’t clean up the beer that gets left in the hallways and b) the laziness of the dog owners in the building that don’t pick up their dogs’ poop.”

If your baby cries all night-shut it up. No one wants to hear about your fucking MISTAKE! sorry if its been 12 FUCKING HOURS but not every1 is stupid and has to wake up early because of CRYING ASSHOLE. get the fuck over living in an apartment! WAH!!

related: Wanna touch the baby?

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→ 284 CommentsFILED UNDER: exclamation-point happy! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · kids · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · noise · richmond · spelling and grammar police


And you wonder why we don’t visit more often…

March 8th, 2010 · 62 comments

Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.

Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…

C & J - Thank you so much for the jam and fattening nuts - Which I like - Always nice to see you ONCE A YEAR. My gosh C is still so handsome - Guess we don't see you enough to have anything to visit about.   Love Always Your Grandma

(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

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→ 62 CommentsFILED UNDER: family · guilt trip · michigan · thanks (but not really)


Your Facebook friends: just not that into you.

March 7th, 2010 · 70 comments

Facebook: always there to remind you of all the fun you’re not having.

No, it's because you married a  prick.

boo hoo

They're just not that into you.

Not all of them...obviously

related: Socializing (you’re doing it wrong)

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→ 70 CommentsFILED UNDER: facebook · frenemies · preggers · weddings and bridezillas


Just, you know, [TMI] FYI

March 5th, 2010 · 76 comments

Alexandra and her best friend David were thrift-store shopping in Memphis, Tennessee when they spotted this sign (in the restroom, this time…not the fitting room).

What I love about this one is that, unlike most of its kind, this notice doesn’t issue any kind of directive (e.g. “Hey nitwits, don’t flush the merchandise!!!”), nor does it directly address the salient issue at hand (Does the toilet actually work now, or not?). Because, really, a simple “Out of Order” sign would have sufficed, if the latter were the case. Instead, it’s just like, “This one time, at band camp…”

SomeOne wiped with Childs T-Shirt and placed in Comode [sic] and flushed - rendering plumbing completely clogged. Thank-you

In place of “Thank You,” I think it should say “The End.” Or maybe: “Who the hell wipes with a child’s T-shirt?!”

related: What is it about thrift store dressing rooms?

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→ 76 CommentsFILED UNDER: TMI · retail hell · spelling and grammar police · tennessee · toilet