Is this a tanning booth or a barnyard stall?

November 20th, 2014 · 49 comments

Writes Joanna in Pennsylvania: “Following (apparently) more than one incident in which a customer relieved themselves in the stand-up tanning booths in my town, this signage was posted in every tanning booth. Because, ya know, people need to be reminded to not just randomly crap themselves every time they get naked.”

A $250 booth cleaning and repair fee will be charged to your account if you have an "accident" while tanning. Please use restroom prior to beginning your tanning session

Adds Joanna: ” Yes, I asked an employee and the incidents in question involved #2!” If it makes you feel any better, Joanna, it turns out your problem is far from unique to south central PA.

 

related: On preparing a hide for tanning

→ 49 CommentsFILED UNDER: Pennsylvania · shit · that's unsanitary


So that’s what they mean by “makes mouths happy”

November 16th, 2014 · 32 comments

Karen in Council Bluffs, Iowa spotted this unsigned note taped to the vending machine in the office breakroom. It sounds like somebody certainly got their 75 cents worth, no?

with regard to the twizzlers nibs...I opened the package and gnawed on the first three I put in my mouth and, as expected, they were chewy. But there was more. There was this strangle tingly sensation in my mouth that I have never quite encountered before. That wasn't so bad though as it was countered by the euphoric high with brilliant colors swirling about. Unfortunately, the comedown was bad.

related: Raging against the (vending) machine

→ 32 CommentsFILED UNDER: candy · Iowa · office · vending machine drama


High Street high jinks

November 9th, 2014 · 32 comments

Writes our submitter from London: “I can only imagine the local politics that brought about this pre-Christmas gem of a note in the historic town if Lewes, England.” Any Lewes locals out there who could shed some light on this light-box snub?

We were not asked to join in the high street archive display (despite being the most photographed building!) so instead of a light box we have a cardboard box! enjoy!!

related: Fish fingers and custard then, yeah?

→ 32 CommentsFILED UNDER: retail hell · U.K.


This kind of attitude is what’s really scary.

November 4th, 2014 · 154 comments

Writes Derek from Ohio: “I found this on an anthropological blog I follow and thought it would fit great on your site.” I agree, Derek, I agree!

Due to the fact that people truck their kids in from other neighborhoods by the dozens, this house will no longer be handing out candy.   Thank you for ruining halloween for us and the children who ACTUALLY LIVE HERE.   Thanks for understanding.   Now, GO AWAY!

related: No candy go away!

extra credit: Do I have to give candy to poor kids? [slate.com]

→ 154 CommentsFILED UNDER: casual sexism · Halloween


Neighbors too loud? The Police can handle it.

October 27th, 2014 · 65 comments

This one speaks for itself, no?

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take Is really audible through the floor. xo

(Thanks to our submitter, Bonnie in Edinburgh.)

related: A review of last night’s performance

→ 65 CommentsFILED UNDER: neighbors · noise


Candy rationing is now in place!

October 21st, 2014 · 40 comments

Previously, our submitter says, bowls of candy sat in an area of the office most commonly populated by waiting customer and potential hires.

“Now, instead of candy, most of them get to see this note. It provides them with things to think about as they wait, such as: How many Jolly Ranchers, Starlight Mints, and other candies which are neither chocolate nor caramel may one take from each bowl?”

STOP and READ!  Attention Candy Lovers!  Due to the sudden interest in candy the FCA has asked me to start RESTRICTING the amount of candy we consume daily. Candy will only be available between 1:00pm-3:00pm Monday-Friday!  Only take one piece of caramel or chocolate candy from each bowl if necessary!  Thank you for your cooperation!

recently: More office candy bowl drama

→ 40 CommentsFILED UNDER: candy · office · office cop


Return to sender

October 11th, 2014 · 48 comments

Writes our submitter: “This note was left in the TEMPORARY mailbox that we put up to collect mail during a substantial construction phase at our house.”

In order to appease the anonymous critic, she says, “I have since placed a large neon green bow around the offending structure,” and plans to continue. “I’m going for the ‘North Pole threw up here’ look,” she says.

You have a beautiful house but your mailbox is ugly. Change it with a better one. xxx

related: #mailboxproblems

extra credit: uglymailbox.com: cool & crazy mailboxes 

→ 48 CommentsFILED UNDER: there goes the neighborhood · unsolicited feedback


Last time I checked, my mother didn’t work here

October 7th, 2014 · 62 comments

“My husband and I eloped in Maui last week because we thought it’d be more fun that way,” says Sarah in Seattle.At least one of her husband’s coworkers — apparently — took this as a snub. (But, you know, in a “Hahahahaha, JUST KIDDING!” clenched-teeth sort of way.)

Congrats to Paul!!! (Apparently)
related: Aaand…the honeymoon’s over.

→ 62 CommentsFILED UNDER: love & marriage · office


They take their white carpet very seriously.

September 29th, 2014 · 35 comments

Alice in Columbus, Ohio noticed this note taped to the door of a neighboring apartment. “I guess the tenants must have taken over a place that had formerly housed drug dealers and they were fed up with people coming by looking for drugs,” she says. “The note begins amiably enough — ‘Take shoes off at door’ — then takes quite a turn with its devastating conclusion.

Take shoes off at door. We don't sell drugs. Don't look in the window. ***You will be shot.***
related: This not a brothel!

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: Columbus · drugs · not-so-veiled threats · Oops?


This used to be a pretty doormat.

September 26th, 2014 · 25 comments

Out submitter in Chicago notes that, remarkably enough, within a day or so of this note being posted (or rather, secured with packing tape to the floor), the oh-so-pretty doormat magically reappeared!

This used to be a pretty doormat until some dumb fuckin' asshole took it

(I’d like to imagine that this was the stolen doormat in question.)

THE NEIGHBORS HAVE BETTER STUFF

related: Wrath mat

extra credit: How to keep a doormat from being stolen [metafilter.com]

→ 25 CommentsFILED UNDER: Chicago · neighbors · stealing