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Be the ____ you want to see in the world.

July 15th, 2015 · 79 comments

Frani’s roommate likes to leave inspirational messages on the fridge. (Apparently what she’s inspired was another roomie’s less-than-dazzling wit.)

If I take time out of my day to put an inspirational quote up here for you guys, I expect you to not write penis on it. kthanks.

Be the ____ you want to see in the world.

related: Are you inspired yet?

 

→ 79 CommentsFILED UNDER: roommates · whiteboard


Twiney Sod, the demon gardener of Fleet Street

July 10th, 2015 · 29 comments

As Sondheim said, there’s no place like London  (“filled with people who are filled with shit”) — and, not coincidentally, the home of this sign.

WARNING! A phantom twine cutter about. Yikes! An individual whom we can only describe as terribly sneaky, strange and quite possibly bored – has unfortunately decided to cut a bit of old green twine which was carefully holding up some droopy planting in our front garden :( alone the boundary fence. Surely something so simple and unoffensive (fence .. geddit ?!) shouldn't cause such a petty yet somewhat aggressive act to occur ?! You might yet even call it 'VANDALISM' ?? Yes. That's right! So, please keep a look out for the twiney snipper and keep loving your plants. STAY SAFE THIS PERSON MAY USE SCISSORS.

related: The orchid thief

→ 29 CommentsFILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · London · TL;DR · warning


Don’t save the date for us

July 2nd, 2015 · 48 comments

Jamie and her now-husband received this puzzling reply to a save-the-date card sent to his mother’s sister. Says Jamie: “We’re still not sure of the reason for the upset.” (Perhaps a bad experience with a Christmas newsletter?)

Logan, I don't know how you got my address but please pass the word on. We're not interested if people live or die, get married or have a kid. So don't send us further information or anything ever again.  Donis & Family

related: Here comes the troll

→ 48 CommentsFILED UNDER: family · way harsh · weddings and bridezillas


…and don’t let the door hit you on your way out!

June 25th, 2015 · 99 comments

Writes out submitter, Erica: “I work in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, in a building comprised of a variety of offices and studios (fashion brands, art galleries, recording studios, artists, etc.) I find this note exceptionally funny, because in the three years I’ve worked in this building I’ve experienced the exact same rude, pompous behavior.”

...and don't let the door hit you on your way out!

related: Were you raised by wolves?

 

→ 99 CommentsFILED UNDER: etiquette · New York · office


This little junk mail punk

June 20th, 2015 · 55 comments

My first thought after reading this note: “Hmm, I’m not sure what being a “wannabe hipster” has to do with not picking up your mail.”

Then I read our submitter’s (unapologetic) explanation: “My neighbor left this taped to the mailbox in the lobby due to my tendency to leave coupons that are mailed to me on a small table under our mailboxes.”  The connection: Both can be really fucking obnoxious!

Dear hipster wannabe in apt 5, The lobby is not your personal trash can. Be responsible and throw your junk mail away...in your own trash can. Do you realize that someone has to clean up after you, each and every time you decide to be lazy? Be a responsible adult and clean up after yourself. If you'd like to talk about this more, I'm in apt 3, and I'd love to have a 'sit down' with you. Please stop being inconsiderate and pick up ALL your mail. Thank you. Zach, Apt. 3

related: This is why people hate millennials.

→ 55 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · going postal · grow up · Illinois · neighbors


A (kinda, sorta) friendly letter

June 14th, 2015 · 35 comments

Our submitter, a teacher in North Carolina, received this from one of her students at the end of this year. I think my favorite part of this letter is the part that got erased — which, as far as I can make out, says, “I thought were kind of nice” and “P.S. I think you were nice sometimes.” Way to dial it back there, Faith.

Dear Mrs. Benner, I kind of liked 3rd grade and I kind of didn't. Some of the worksheets were pretty hard. If I got to be better and good at math I probably would like 3rd grade more. How I liked you was a four-out of ten. Love, Faith

Sure, she failed you, Mrs. B, but she signed it with love!

 

related: Teacher appreciation with first graders

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: kids · schools & teachers · signed with love


Questionably moist bills

June 8th, 2015 · 82 comments

Summer’s here! And you know what that means….

Due to rising summer temperatures, we will NOT be accepting boob or sock money. Questionably moist bills are subject to denial. We're sorry, but it's gross.

(via reddit)

Meanwhile, our submitter Ellen spotted this one at a drive-through daiquiri-store in Louisiana. “Apparently, you can buy everclear in a Styrofoam cup at 11 am without leaving your car, just you can’t pay for it with boob money.”

Due to sanitary reasons. We will not and cannot accept money that comes out of a bra.

related: Elevator nose grease. It’s a thing, apparently.

 

→ 82 CommentsFILED UNDER: money · retail hell · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary


I guess Grandma’s not into robo-tripping?

June 3rd, 2015 · 78 comments

Our submitter, a pharmacist, says this note was written on the back of a patient’s invoice. “She often has hand-written notes demanding an explanation for charges she incurred, but I think this might be the first product complaint I’ve seen,” he says. “I’m kind of surprised it has taken her 80-some years to learn that cough syrup tastes like ass.”

When I was in there this past Sat. a guy suggested this stuff for my cough. It is one of the worst things I have ever tasted -- tussin DM. To put it bluntly it would gag a maggot! So I guess I will have to toss it -- Consider it close to a $7 dollar loss. I hope you don't recommend it to anyone else.

related: Life is awful.

→ 78 CommentsFILED UNDER: old folks


It’s opposite day in Cincinnati!

May 26th, 2015 · 85 comments

Chris in Cincinnati says this came in the mail with no return address.

The butterfly sticker is a nice touch, no?

Isn't it nice the Garbage men come and take you'r [sic] garbage away, then leave you with the EMPTY cans so that you may put them away.

related: Welcome to the neighborhood. You’re totally screwing it up.

 

→ 85 CommentsFILED UNDER: Cincinnati · garbage · neighbors · unnecessary "quotation marks"


Meanwhile, in America’s Dairyland

May 19th, 2015 · 50 comments

Writes Libby in Green Bay, Wisconsin: “In my office, about 100 people share one communal fridge. One person has been bringing a gallon of milk for months and completely ignoring how much room it takes up.  Apparently, someone had had enough of their inconsiderate nonsense.”

After all, the considerate Wisconsinite would just hitch his dairy cow up in the breakroom like everyone else.

Why don't you just bring in a cow?!?!

UPDATE: The office dairy lover responds!

Meanwhile, in America's Dairyland

related: Spoiled Milk

→ 50 CommentsFILED UNDER: milk · office fridge