FU Load Letter

September 26th, 2012 · 37 comments

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

PLEASE SEE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN REGARD TO THIS MACHINE OR HOW TO OPERATE OR CLEAR A JAM. DO NOT START PUSHING BUTTONS OR OPENING THINGS IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. SEE ME FOR ASSISTANCE. THANK YOU. Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

related: My Secretary, Sybil

 
 

→ 37 CommentsFILED UNDER: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching


(Willpower not provided)

September 25th, 2012 · 32 comments

At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)

Blueberry Cheesecake for Whoever Wants Some. I'm totally intimidated by this cheesecake. Will someone please eat it so I can use the breakroom!

related post:

This is a candy-optional office

 
 

→ 32 CommentsFILED UNDER: cake · Jacksonville · office


Uncle Sam wants you to keep calm and wash up

September 24th, 2012 · 15 comments

I didn’t pay much attention to this bit of poetic propaganda until I noticed it was posted at an office in the United Kingdom. Is the awkward meter of the writing below Uncle Sam some kind a subtle comment on American imperialism, or just pure laziness? I suspect the latter, but I’d still be tempted to slap a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster on top.

I WANT YOU TO WASH YOUR DISHES. The sink is too small to have dishes build up, It's really not complicated to wash a small cup, Your workmates aren't your servants, keepers or your mothers, Those who wash their own things needn't worry about the others.

related: The Vicar of Glibly

 
 

→ 15 CommentsFILED UNDER: clip art catastrophe · dishes · office · pure poetry · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...


Happy Caturday!

September 22nd, 2012 · 103 comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “This is my neighbour’s cat, Byron. He’s a lovely boy, but given the chance, he’ll steal into my apartment and scarf down my cats’ kibble. The other day Bryon visited sporting this new heart-shaped tag.”

PLEASE DON'T FEED ME!!

PLEASE DON'T FEED ME!!

related post:

Please stop feeding my cat!

 
 

→ 103 CommentsFILED UNDER: British Columbia · cats · neighbors


Which is more annoying?

September 20th, 2012 · 34 comments

This bullshit, from an office in Baltimore?

Really! An empty pizza box left in the fridge? Really, you'd think the person who stole my pizza would have better manners and would throw away the box!

Or the unused-microwave-time version, from Claire’s office in Columbus, Ohio?

Really! You wouldn't eat 3 blueberries and throw the container away??

related post:

The Breakroom Nibbler

 
 

→ 34 CommentsFILED UNDER: food · garbage · office fridge · pizza


Before you came into my life I used to sleep in — I used to sleep, sleep in

September 18th, 2012 · 60 comments

Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen

Hey you just moved here! And it's early! But here's my window! So Shut Up Maybe!

related post:

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

 
 

→ 60 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley


Error: Command not found

September 17th, 2012 · 41 comments

This heapsort arrived via an anonymous sender in Wellington, New Zealand. (Notice the menacing-looking knife at right…)

IT IS BECOMING WORSE & WORSE SO PLEASE PLEASE KEEP THIS OFFICE TIDY! THANKS...SERIOUSLY? PLEASE READ THE SIGN! I WAS JUST HERE 2 MIN AGO TAKING ALL THE DIRTY DISHES LEFT HER (WHICH I SHOULDN'T BE DOING....) AND COME BACK TO FIND THIS. I MEAN, YOU SAW ME DO IT!! Your request has been placed in a priority queue. In the meantime we have submitted it to www.passiveaggressivenotes.com where you you will be able to monitor its progress.

related: An ABP on the V8

 
 

→ 41 CommentsFILED UNDER: confusion??? · New Zealand · office · smartass


The Shark Week Scriptures

September 16th, 2012 · 58 comments

Spotted by Rebecca in a women’s dorm at an evangelical college in St. Louis, Missouri…

Jesus shed his blood for me, so you don't have to as well. Wrap your pad! P.S. We know who you are, nasty!

related post:

What Would Jesus Steal?

 
 

→ 58 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · bodily fluids · college life · hygiene · Jesus · message to all intended for one · St. Louis · that's disgusting · TMI


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