I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work there, Lou.

March 27th, 2013 · 83 comments

Morgan from Fargo, North Dakota went out with friends one night in Grand Forks, and the parking situation was, in his words, “atrocious.” He spotted this message on the dash of one particularly poorly-parked pickup.

Though it’s hardly the most offensive part of this “multi-offensive” note, Morgan was just as confused by Andy’s Iowa/Texas hate as I was. Interestingly, at least one recent analysis found the state with the worst drivers to be none other than…any guesses?

Are you from Iowa or Texas? Because you park like a...

 related: When parking gets political

→ 83 CommentsFILED UNDER: North Dakota · parking


Here comes the troll

March 26th, 2013 · 164 comments

Bill from Florida and his bride, Mara, both electrical engineering majors, decided to infuse their passion for their field into their “Circuit and Swirls”-themed wedding, complete with invitations featuring actual LED-running circuits. In the DIY spirit of things, Bill posted a video and a how-to guide on his blog. (So far, so good.)

A month or so later, after Bill and Mara returned from their honeymoon, they found this handwritten manifesto — excuse me, concerned warning — in their mailbox. (Because apparently plain ol’ Internet bile-spewing via, you know, the Internet would have been a little bit too passive.)

Dear Bill and Mara, Hi there. My name is Andrew and I’m from the Internet. I came across y’all (and what appears to be y’all’s address) from a post on Wedinator. Looks like Bill posted this one himself…shocker. I’d like to point out early on here that I mean you no harm—but there are idiots on the internet who might. Moral of the story? Don’t put your home address on the internet. P.S.: ads on your videos about your wedding crap? Kindy trashy. Sure didn’t notice these until y’all started getting views in the thousands.  So, the fancy blinky invitations? Pretty cool, and kudos on the homebrew, but three words: OVER THE TOP. There is no call for this, it’s just for attention. Seriously.  Key Points:  How many people are going to keep and cherish these thing forever?  Seriously, No one cares about your damn wedding. Folks go to weddings for only a few reasons. Social obligations, food, Liquor. Looks like this is an expensive, extravagant shindig. How much did it cost? Who paid? Or financed? How many grocery trip, tanks of gas, or house down payments is that? Most people who have extravagant weddings could care less about actually getting married, they just want to be in a wedding.  You guys are really pretentious. Personal blogs are bad enough, but wedding/relationship websites are kind of disgusting.  Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Think about this: if you would be satisfied with a brief chapel wedding without guests and a road trip for a honeymoon, then you’re really ready to marry. GOOD LUCK.

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

 

→ 164 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Florida · most popular notes of 2013 · TL;DR · weddings and bridezillas


Vigilante justice: Don’t try this at home

March 25th, 2013 · 111 comments

Nicole in Baltimore says her roommate returned home from work and found this note taped to the front door. Later, they discovered a copy of the same had also been taped to the doors of everyone on the entire street. (Kindling for the torch-and-pitchfork-wielding mob?)

ATTENTION: do you know who you live near????? Your neighbor Charles L. M**** (DOB December 19**) who lives at 2***** St. is having an affair with my wife of 12 years. It has been going on since Feb 25, 2012 but I just found out in January 2013. My wife promised to break if off but I found out yesterday that they are still seeing each other. I will be divorcing her. His home phone is 410-***-****. He is 6'3, 195 lbs. He drives a white Chevy pick up truck (license plate 4****) I will be going to his job tomorrow and attending his church on Sunday to let everybody know the kind of man that he is. Because I cannot physically harm him and risk losing my kids or going to jail, I plan on spreading the word about this lowlife loser.

Meanwhile, a submitter from nearby Silver Spring, Maryland snapped this photo during rush-hour traffic.

I CHEATED THIS IS MY PUNISHMENT

related: Buy one divorce, get the second one half off!

→ 111 CommentsFILED UNDER: Baltimore · love & marriage · Maryland · public shaming · spurned lover


Shoveling and sniveling

March 24th, 2013 · 74 comments

Spring is here! (Maine, unfortunately, didn’t get the memo.)

Dear Neighbor Who Left Me A Note: Thank you for inviting me to shoveling class! However, I am pretty busy with work already, and I fairly experienced in shoveling arts already, so I don't require any additional training. In fact, I'm so experienced that I've discovered I really don't like shoveling out my car, which is why I bought a Subaru. You should check them out; they are really great in the snow. In the winter I can just pull out of my spot and brush off the snow. Luckily for us, the plow guy does the rest of the parking lot (and the steps!), so my need to shovel is pretty much zero, although I do usually shovel all of our mailboxes out whenever my former roommate didn't. I wish you well in your shovel studies though, and maybe they'll let you shovel the mailboxes for extra credit! Sincerely, Adam P.S. - If I have misinterpreted your note of 'Let's learn how to shovel,' please let me know. I would come talk with you, but unfortunately you failed to sign your note.

related: Snow shoveling etiquette

→ 74 CommentsFILED UNDER: Maine · p.s. · snow · TL;DR


A declaration of independence

March 20th, 2013 · 116 comments

Writes Kate in Georgia: “My niece, Emily, has to be the most adorable revolutionary in existence. Last week she self-published her manifesto. There are actually six pages of demands, each printed on butterfly stationery. (We assume the butterfly symbolizes her freedom from authority.)”

Emily declares her freedom...from getting in trouble

related: See you never again in my life!

→ 116 CommentsFILED UNDER: Georgia · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2013


Don’t mess with WeHo

March 19th, 2013 · 34 comments

Writes Matt in West Hollywood: “Apparently a certain ‘Alex’ in our neighborhood has been downing protein smoothies and then discarding the cups on the street.” Not cool, man. Not cool.

ALEX! What's wrong there, Mr. Muscle? Cup too heavy for you? How about you start using TRASH CANS for your TRASH? (P.S. - You are on candid camera big boy)

related: The City of Brotherly Littering

→ 34 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · littering · p.s.


Take the plunge. We dare you.

March 18th, 2013 · 47 comments

Apparently the patrons of this restaurant in Durham, NC thought that the ‘Out of Order’ sign on the bathroom stall was just a hilarious ruse.

Out of Order. Not kinda out of order but "out-out"-like for real. The toilet WILL overflow & will become known as "that time someone didn't heed the sign & used the toilet anyway & their stuff went everywhere.  + someone here will have to clean it + throw up in their mouth — avoid this please.

A close-up of the lower right corner:

+ someone here will have to clean it + throw up in their mouth — avoid this please.

related: Is this a toilet?

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · North Carolina · restaurant · toilet


Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

March 18th, 2013 · 92 comments

Jessica in Portland, Oregon was on her way home when she saw this note taped to her neighbors’ door. “I’m best friends with the guys this was addressed to,” she says, “and they actually are very loud when they get down to business. It doesn’t usually bother me because I work night shifts, but obviously it is wearing down the woman downstairs.”

Dear guys from 3D! :) I am the always dreaded downstairs neighbor. As much as I'm happy that you boys have a flourishing relationship...wait...that sounds stalkerish. I meant, I can only assume you have a flourishing relationship due to the fact that you shag. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Now I'm not saying to because you're a gay couple. I wouldn't care if you were flying, purple unicorn dinosaurs. In fact, I'm a huge gay rights supporter. But seriously, EVERY NIGHT?! It's awesome you have a healthy sex life but I don't want to hear it. I'm tired at the end of the night/day (I work irregular hours, you see) & being woken up by or coming home to what seems to be a torture session by the screaming and begging, is not my idea of refreshing. Don't stop by any means, but please quiet down, please? Besides that, you are delightful upstairs neighbors and seem awesome if your music is anything to go by! :) Sincerely - Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

(The “happy ending”: Jessica says her friends sent a note back saying they would try to be more considerate.)

related: WE CAN SEE YOU

→ 92 CommentsFILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · painfully polite · Portland · sex sex sex · smiley


Get Rich or Die Tryin’

March 14th, 2013 · 49 comments

Ashley spotted this notice in the community room at her grandma’s senior living community in Minnesota. Says Ashley: “Apparently acting like a grown up is still hard when you’re over 80.”

Concerning Bingo Days: Many of you have come into my office complaining about each other from people yelling or giving orders or how many cards you should be able to have or coming in late! I will address the yelling and being disrespectful first. Everyone here is adults. There should be no reason why you can't be respectful to each other. Please try and refrain from opening your mouth and making it miserable for the people that are down here playing for fun and enjoyment! Next how many cards can I have? Well that's easy too. You can have as many that you can handle without infringing on your fellow players. So that means if you can't keep up and have to keep asking them to repeat the number then guess what? you have too many cards. Or if you take too many that there are not enough for everyone than guess what? You have too many cards. And third but not least please respect your fellow players and try to be down stairs and in your seat by 1:30. Remember Bingo is fun not to try and get rich or cut throat your neighbor. It's to get out of your apartment and see your neighbor and visit and enjoy the game. Enough said! Try acting like grown ups and set an example for each other. Thank you. Manager

related: The Rules for Strip Bingo

→ 49 CommentsFILED UNDER: Minnesota · most popular notes of 2013 · old folks · spelling and grammar police · that's disrespectful


Anarchy in the Pre-K

March 13th, 2013 · 101 comments

Our submitter in Washington, D.C. says that a parent recently sent this e-mail to her daughter’s preschool teacher…and cc’d it to the parents of every kid in the class. “Clearly, she thinks her kids are getting screwed out of their God-given right to show-and-tell,” our submitter marvels. “I wouldn’t want to mess with this woman come college application time!”

I have a question about show & tell. How many items are the children supposed to bring? It was always my understanding that each child brought one thing to

related: Pre-K parent public shaming

→ 101 CommentsFILED UNDER: D.C. · Moms & Dads · schools & teachers