“People steal other people’s food and drink so often in my office that security put up a notice,” says our submitter in Florida. “Apparently, the sign isn’t working.”

Instead, the notes left by the victims have turned into an ongoing office-wide joke.

And the latest contribution…

related: Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!

Hey, Lenny, if you’re looking for an idea for your next tattoo, how about, “Don’t trust anything written in Comic Sans.”

(Thanks to Syrah in Toronto for submitting!)

related: A little advice for the ladies

Karen in Madison, Wisconsin says her daughter left this note on the fridge sometime between midnight and 6:30 am:

The following afternoon, her brother came back with this:

related: Lactose Intolerance

Andy in Alexandria, Virginia passes this sign every day on his way to work, and says he’s always found the quotations around the word “baptized” to be a bit ominous. (“I have no idea what they are getting at,” he says.)

Of course, if this sign seems familiar to you, that’s because this ol’ knee-slapper just might be the “unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy” of church parking signs. To wit:

And back in Vienna, Virginia, it’s the cars that get baptized.

Related: What Would Jesus Text?

“My best friend works at a hospital as a RN,” Jesse writes, “and one day, after a ridiculously long shift, she reached into the breakroom candy dish expecting, well, candy, and got a handful of pushpins instead. She wrote this note because a) she’s a smartass and b) to warn others.”

Jesse continues: “Minutes later, a doctor came in, reached into the candy dish, and popped one into his mouth. Then he spit it out, exclaiming, ‘This isn’t candy!’ My friend looked at him, and with a straight face said, ‘That’s why the note is there, Doctor.’ He looked down, read the note, and promptly left the room.”

Adds Jesse: “But seriously, what kind of troll puts push pins in a candy dish?”

related: THIS IS A CANDY-OPTIONAL OFFICE

Well, Dad? What have you got to say for yourself?

(Thanks to Katie in Kansas City for submitting!)

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“I don’t know the back story here,” says Katie in Portland, Oregon, “but it seems like a better solution would have been to just, I don’t know, not park illegally?”

related: How NOT to get out of a parking ticket

Okay, I think everyone’s had enough of the Outdoor Cat Debate of 2012. Perhaps a little double entendre to lighten the mood? Alrighty then!

This piece by Jamie’s daughter was hanging on the wall outside her classroom during Parent’s Day at the school. “She had no idea why it was funny to us,” Jamie says. (Her daughter’s teacher, meanwhile…)

related: “Drunk Mommy”

P.S. The passive-aggressive part of this note is the crappy watermark. I hate watermarks. Screw you, karma/pageview whores!