What a little hart-braker

January 22nd, 2013 · 34 comments

Our submitter in Vancouver, Washington says this note was slipped under her door after her daughter was sent to her room following a disagreement about doing the dishes. Adds Mom: “I like that the poop is just there — not telling me I smell like poop, or to eat poop. Just…poop.”

Never doing anything for you ever again ever for Mom —Emily (hart brok) P.S. Running away (Poop)

related: Buckets of my tears

→ 34 CommentsFILED UNDER: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes · oh no you didn't · p.s.


Point (not) Taken

January 21st, 2013 · 49 comments

David in Nottingham, England says that one of his neighbors has been continually leaving bags of junk in the building’s common area, despite the fact that the communal waste bin is located just a few feet away on the other side of the door.

David says the first (un-photographed) notice said something along the lines of, “Come on man, we’re not animals.” The management company then wrote a letter to all tenants — again, to no avail. Apparently, the only recourse left was to get Liam Neeson on the phone.

I don't know who you are or why you keep leaving bags of crap here, but if you don't stop doing it I will find you, and I will kill you.

Meanwhile, in Allentown, Pennsylvania:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my package go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hit you, REALLY hard.

related: Dear Whoever Stole My Amazon Package

→ 49 CommentsFILED UNDER: garbage · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · Nottingham · shameless meme-mongering · U.K.


Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

→ 26 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates


The Office LOL Police

January 18th, 2013 · 35 comments

As it turns out, at least one study has shown that laughter in the workplace can actually improve productivity.

Of course, that didn’t help our submitter in St. Louis from totally freaking out when she found this anonymous note on her desk at her “conservative” office, where she says that although silence pretty much reigns, “I giggle and talk loudly all the time.”

I'm worried that you are laughing too much and not getting enough work completed. Sincerely, A Concerned Neighbor

Our submitter later found out that the note was a “prank” from a friendly coworker. (But — paranoia alert — was it completely in jest, or a p-a power play?)

related: To my coworker, the thundering cow

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2013 · noise · office · St. Louis


The Craft Services DTs

January 16th, 2013 · 47 comments

Our anonymous submitter in L.A. says this opus was posted at the kitchen of a production company working on a network television show…where at least two people seem to have too much time on their hands.

To the hilarious slob who left the mess in the kitchen, good one! Ha ha! LOL! However, I ask you, are you bored with your job? Do you not have enough to do? You must have some spare time as you seemed to have gone out of your way to make such a mess. Or, maybe you have too much to do, so much that you don't have the time to clean up. From either scenario, I can deduce that you likely have a time management problem. You need to dig deep down inside and determine the root of the problem.

related: Dear Desperate for Salad

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: cleaning · kitchen · Los Angeles · TL;DR


Do we look like the kind of store that sells “I Just Called to Say I Love You?”

January 15th, 2013 · 80 comments

Kay spotted these signs while shopping for CDs at a store named JB Hi-Fi in Melbourne. “I personally agree with everything said on there,” Kay says, “but the two 17-year-olds who brought the note to my attention clearly didn’t. (One of them actually said ‘Who the fuck is Johnny Rotten?’) I thought it was priceless.”

New Rules for the Punk/Emo/Hardcore Section

And the old rules stand: No asking why The Clash are in the Punk section — you will be removed! No sitting on the floor! No complaining about Green Day! I don't care if you like their old stuff better than their new stuff because it's not punk now. Unless you're G.G. Allin or Johnny Rotten you ain't punk either so shut up! Listening to hardcore does not make you tough. Just saying! Behave. The Game is watchin.

related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s

→ 80 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · Melbourne · most popular notes of 2013 · music


Well, you sure showed them.

January 14th, 2013 · 16 comments

Are you feeling sorry yet?? Well?!?!

My real flowers were stolen so here are some cheap fake one jerks!!

related: Only the city of San Diego can move our garbage cans!

→ 16 CommentsFILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · stealing


Pissed off (but ever-so-polite)

January 13th, 2013 · 48 comments

In the U.K. —more so than anywhere else — self-proclaimed “polite notices” are quite often anything but. Take, for example, these two notices, both from London.

POLITE NOTICE To whom it may concern: Stop pissing all over the lavatory like a f*cking animal. What is wrong with your p*nis? Is it a corkscrew? Does it flick around like hosepipe? Here's an idea — trying pointing it even vaguely towards the water. You might enjoy the tinkly sound. Give it a shot. Go on. You f*cking animal.

POLITE NOTICE Your dog? Your shit! If I catch you, I will make YOU EAT IT!!!

related: A polite notice from New Zealand

→ 48 CommentsFILED UNDER: "polite notice" · dogs · London · most popular notes of 2013 · piss · shit · toilet · U.K.


So long, and thanks for all the Swiss

January 12th, 2013 · 45 comments

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

TO OUR LOYAL FRIENDS WE WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PUT QUOTES ON OUR LABELS DUE TO ONE PERSONS CONSTANT COMPLAINTS ITS BEEN FUN I HOPE I MADE YOU THINK PETER ANDREW DANIELS THE DR.

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog" - John Lennon

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

→ 45 CommentsFILED UNDER: cheese · don't blame us · New York


Hair-raising indignation

January 10th, 2013 · 47 comments

This type of note, I think, is the absolute WORST.

This hair has been hanging here for more than SIX MONTHS. Has anyone else noticed. Cleaning people haven't.

related: This thing is in the way. Is someone going to move it? 

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Boston · hair · office