Well, you sure showed them.

January 14th, 2013 · 16 comments

Are you feeling sorry yet?? Well?!?!

My real flowers were stolen so here are some cheap fake one jerks!!

related: Only the city of San Diego can move our garbage cans!

→ 16 CommentsFILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · stealing


Pissed off (but ever-so-polite)

January 13th, 2013 · 48 comments

In the U.K. —more so than anywhere else — self-proclaimed “polite notices” are quite often anything but. Take, for example, these two notices, both from London.

POLITE NOTICE To whom it may concern: Stop pissing all over the lavatory like a f*cking animal. What is wrong with your p*nis? Is it a corkscrew? Does it flick around like hosepipe? Here's an idea — trying pointing it even vaguely towards the water. You might enjoy the tinkly sound. Give it a shot. Go on. You f*cking animal.

POLITE NOTICE Your dog? Your shit! If I catch you, I will make YOU EAT IT!!!

related: A polite notice from New Zealand

→ 48 CommentsFILED UNDER: "polite notice" · dogs · London · most popular notes of 2013 · piss · shit · toilet · U.K.


So long, and thanks for all the Swiss

January 12th, 2013 · 45 comments

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

TO OUR LOYAL FRIENDS WE WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PUT QUOTES ON OUR LABELS DUE TO ONE PERSONS CONSTANT COMPLAINTS ITS BEEN FUN I HOPE I MADE YOU THINK PETER ANDREW DANIELS THE DR.

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog" - John Lennon

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

→ 45 CommentsFILED UNDER: cheese · don't blame us · New York


Hair-raising indignation

January 10th, 2013 · 47 comments

This type of note, I think, is the absolute WORST.

This hair has been hanging here for more than SIX MONTHS. Has anyone else noticed. Cleaning people haven't.

related: This thing is in the way. Is someone going to move it? 

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Boston · hair · office


You will be deleted.

January 9th, 2013 · 127 comments

Spotted in the reception area of a doctors’ office:

It is your choice to be rude to any member of our staff. It will be our choice to discuss the transfer of your medical records to another physician. Dr.'s XXXX & XXXXXX And, yes, we are saddened to have to post this sign. If you do not have an appointment and you do not have a life-threatening illness but you still demand to be seen by your doctor then please turn around and ask everyone else for their permission to be seen first. (Remember to tell them that your time is more important and that they probably won't mind waiting a little longer.)

related: Hard Candy

→ 127 CommentsFILED UNDER: etiquette · hospitals & doctors · most popular notes of 2013


Yelp, indeed!

January 8th, 2013 · 56 comments

Writes our submitter, “Bob L,” in California: “I posted a negative review on Yelp of a local business. Next time I came in, I saw this note posted on their bulletin board. Glad I didn’t use my real name!”

Bob L. From Yelp, When you grow up or grow a pair, you know where to find me! Unlike you, I don't hide behind the internet!!

related: “The bathrooms are the best thing about this restaurant.”

extra credit: Portlandia “Bad Yelp review” [youtube]

→ 56 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · California · posted online


The City of Brotherly Littering

January 7th, 2013 · 18 comments

“Understand,” writes Beck in Philadelphia, “I love this city. Filth and all.” But he also had to give props to this guerilla PSA — done in the style of the Philly Tourism Board’s “with love” ad campaign — adding, “I regret not actually being able to photograph all the trash that really was on the ground.”

Dear Citizens, Thanks for expecting everyone else to clean up your litter. With Love, Philadelphia xoxo

related: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you!

→ 18 CommentsFILED UNDER: heart · littering · Philadelphia · signed with love · xoxo


No Killer Littering

January 7th, 2013 · 51 comments

Bill says he’s lived in the same building in Shenzhen, China for four years, “and the place still cracks me up, daily.” The latest from his building’s noticeboard:

Dear owners (inhabitants): The management office received some complaints from lower inhabitants recently, they said that things often fall from upstairs, like cigarette end, napkin, even turtle, there are serious security risks, once the damage cause, the perpetrator must take legal responsibility. In order to create a good and safety living environment for you and others, we propose: Keep good habits, and recommend the family members (especially children):

related: Beware of falling hairballs

→ 51 CommentsFILED UNDER: China · Clearly a non-native English speaker · landlords and property managers · neighbors


When Canadians snap

January 3rd, 2013 · 56 comments

This one was spotted by Liz from British Columbia in what she describes as “a popular drinkin’ park often featuring empty Colt .45 cans.”

Merry Christmas!!! To the individual that ended the life of this 13 year-old old growth sitka spruce. It was nurturesd with love & care from a sapling planted here to honour the birth of my daughter. I can only assume it now stands in your living room to live out its last hours so that you and yours can mark Christmas. YOU are what is wrong with this world. You are more disgusting than the dog shit you left behind. YOU take this on your conscience. YOU deserve nothing. YOU are now CURSED. Do us all a favour & DIE.

related: What kind of person steals flowers from a grave?

→ 56 CommentsFILED UNDER: British Columbia · Canada · die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens


Welcome Back to Work

January 2nd, 2013 · 31 comments

I’m normally not the littering type, but something about this mess of bullet points makes me want to upend the nearest trash can and just go absolutely apeshit. (And how was your holiday, boss?)

Please Please put all your rubbish away in a bin. There is probably a bin right next to you. Be a conscientious worker. Your good attitude will be noted. We are all here to help.

related: Clues that you might be trapped in a soul-sucking job

 

→ 31 CommentsFILED UNDER: Birmingham · garbage · now that's management · U.K.