No Killer Littering

January 7th, 2013 · 51 comments

Bill says he’s lived in the same building in Shenzhen, China for four years, “and the place still cracks me up, daily.” The latest from his building’s noticeboard:

Dear owners (inhabitants): The management office received some complaints from lower inhabitants recently, they said that things often fall from upstairs, like cigarette end, napkin, even turtle, there are serious security risks, once the damage cause, the perpetrator must take legal responsibility. In order to create a good and safety living environment for you and others, we propose: Keep good habits, and recommend the family members (especially children):

related: Beware of falling hairballs

→ 51 CommentsFILED UNDER: China · Clearly a non-native English speaker · landlords and property managers · neighbors


When Canadians snap

January 3rd, 2013 · 56 comments

This one was spotted by Liz from British Columbia in what she describes as “a popular drinkin’ park often featuring empty Colt .45 cans.”

Merry Christmas!!! To the individual that ended the life of this 13 year-old old growth sitka spruce. It was nurturesd with love & care from a sapling planted here to honour the birth of my daughter. I can only assume it now stands in your living room to live out its last hours so that you and yours can mark Christmas. YOU are what is wrong with this world. You are more disgusting than the dog shit you left behind. YOU take this on your conscience. YOU deserve nothing. YOU are now CURSED. Do us all a favour & DIE.

related: What kind of person steals flowers from a grave?

→ 56 CommentsFILED UNDER: British Columbia · Canada · die bitch die · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens


Welcome Back to Work

January 2nd, 2013 · 31 comments

I’m normally not the littering type, but something about this mess of bullet points makes me want to upend the nearest trash can and just go absolutely apeshit. (And how was your holiday, boss?)

Please Please put all your rubbish away in a bin. There is probably a bin right next to you. Be a conscientious worker. Your good attitude will be noted. We are all here to help.

related: Clues that you might be trapped in a soul-sucking job

 

→ 31 CommentsFILED UNDER: Birmingham · garbage · now that's management · U.K.


2012: The Year in Search Queries

December 31st, 2012 · 39 comments

Thanks to the magic of analytics, I’m able to see the unique search queries that bring people to this little website — and unique they are! (For many people, Google seems to serve much the same function as a Magic 8 ball.) If you’re feeling voyeuristic, take a peek below at some of the more, shall we say, interesting questions that somehow led people to PassiveAggressiveNotes.com over the past year.

if you dig in indiana far down enough will you hit diamonds
what does an orange grow up to be
do they eat cupcakes in africa
can coffee creamer hurt you?
can cereal kill you
what the fuck is rice

is there a penalty if your tooth is put under yoru pillow late
my mom always drags me to a barber for a hair cut why??
how do you run away from your mum forever
how do u get into your babysitters pants
how to ask a girl who doesn’t know you to sign your yearbook
what happens if you dont wash your hands after masturbating and can you get stds from it

[Read more →]

→ 39 CommentsFILED UNDER: meta


Your Favorite Notes of 2012

December 30th, 2012 · 68 comments

Here it is: a look back at your favorite notes of 2012, from heartbroken kids to self-righteous vegans and everywhere in between. (Just click on any of the notes to see the original post, with context.)

But first — drumroll please — our two leading candidates vying for the title of 2012 douchecanoe of the year!

Deck you, neighbor.

Can't we all just get along? (Sigh)

Of course, you could also vote for a third party candidate. Which write-ins are missing from the race? Cast your votes in the comments!

[Read more →]

→ 68 CommentsFILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2012


Enjoy the holidays (without me)

December 27th, 2012 · 29 comments

While at his parents’ house in Indiana for Christmas, Jay says his mother passed this card around to everyone, saying, “Can you believe this?!” The awkward part: Terry (not that Terry) is their next-door neighbor.

Sorry we have lost touch- I guess I have to accept you not wanting to be friends anyomore. Enjoy the holidays-  Janet and Lee, Wishing you jolly holidays and a great new year! Have a wonderful season and all the best in the New Year.  -Terry

related: Happy Holidays! So glad we’re not together!

 

→ 29 CommentsFILED UNDER: Christmas · holiday spirit · Indiana · neighbors


Ice Box-ing

December 26th, 2012 · 45 comments

The most extreme case of ice hoarding I’ve seen comes to us from an office in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania:

I bring my ICE from home! Please don't TAKE IT. [Response]: You are very strange.

Personally, I think Nicolette’s “Aunt Anny” in California is onto something. (Assuming, of course, that people have the recipe.)

Make Ice Make More Ice Fucking Ice Bin (Keep it fucking full)

related: Four approaches to ice cube maintenance

→ 45 CommentsFILED UNDER: ice · office


This year’s round of holiday decor-nappings

December 22nd, 2012 · 26 comments

So far this  year, we’ve gotten no missing Baby Jesus reports. (Yet.) However, it looks like it’s still hard out there for a giant candy cane.

Just ask Anderson in Huntsville, Alabama:

Mommy Deer wants her babies back!

Gina in New Philadelphia, Ohio:

To the person who took my Christmas wreath...you can have the tree too! You must need it more than I do! Merry Christmas! Danny's Grill

The Bishop Family in Genoa, Nebraska:

This is for the 3 little PUNKS In the silver Chevy truck with 10 county Plates That stole our decorations THANKS!!! Our Grandkids REALLY appreciate it. MERRY CHRISTMAS! BY THE WAY YOU DROPPED THESE

or David in Florence, South Carolina:

To whoever stole (or is planning to steal) our Christmas lights

The missing strand of lights, as well as the ones remaining on our porch, were rubbed through each of our unkempt butt-cheeks during a game of

related: The circle of Hell Dante forget to mention

→ 26 CommentsFILED UNDER: Christmas · holiday spirit · stealing · vandalism


A rash of mysterious rashes

December 20th, 2012 · 33 comments

While walking down a quiet street in Leicester, England, Tom saw this “ANGRY CAPITALISED note” in the window of a house. “Amid so many unanswered questions,” Tom says, “one thing is for sure: Mike has a window and he ain’t afraid to use it.”

Carla and Hilary, I hope that your hideous rashes go away soon. It really sucks that Leah gave it to you. The symptoms sound repulsive! As for Liz, that thing on your...you know..well I hope that heals quickly as well. Kristy, congratulations on your clean bill of health! Mike

related: Desperately Seeking Closure

→ 33 CommentsFILED UNDER: public shaming · U.K. · WTF?


Is this a toilet?

December 19th, 2012 · 54 comments

Apparently, when is comes to judging the average person’s ability to correctly assess, “Should I urinate here?” you really can’t be too careful.

In the interest of health these toilets have been sealed. DO NOT USE!!!

Due to persons repeatedly urinating in the elevator, it has been turned off until further notice. If you have any information about the persons responsible, please contact Bill in Centennial 144. Your honesty will be appreciated and will lead to a speedy return of the elevator. Fun Fact: You and your roommate share a bathroom with your suitemates. In this bathroom there should be a toilet. If you are missing a toilet, please call the Fix-It Line at x4687

Health Notice Toilet Issues The Tanning Room is not a Restroom!  It is extremely dangerous for A Total Tan employees to clean up trash cans and under rugs that people have used instead of the public toilet. This will no longer be tolerated!  A Total Tan has a computer record of everyone using each tanning room. In the future, using the tanning room as a toilet will not be tolerated. This will be very embarrassing to you!  It is not embarrassing for us to restart your bed if you need to stop before or during your session. Simply put on your clothes and ask the employee to stop your session.

Especially, it seems, in Chicago — as witnessed by both Julie and Whitney. Although, “To be fair,” Whitney adds, “the entire city seems to be fair game for public urination.”

ObviouslyPlease do not USE this bathroom! I thought the lack of a door indicated that fact, obviously I was wrong.I was wrong

Please - this is not a toilet

related: What is it about thrift store fitting rooms?!

extra credit: Street art by ELBOW-TOE

This is not a urinal.

→ 54 CommentsFILED UNDER: Chicago · piss · toilet