Actually, I am offended…above all, by your atrocious spelling.

March 1st, 2010 · 110 comments

“This was posted after the author cleaned the house which consisted entirely of her own mess,” says our anonymous submitter in the U.K.

Of course, when you live with multiple roommates, it’s always somebody else’s mess. (Or should I say…I’ts?)

Hi Guys Look, you might find this note kinda Impertenant [sic] cos I don't engage in house-cleaning very often, but that is because I clean up after myself as I go! Plus I have a full time job so I'm too damn tierd [sic] of an evening to worry about other peoples mess, but lately I'ts [sic] become such a state that I've spent a couple of evenings: neatening the kitchen, taking out copious amounts of garbage, wiping down the work surfaces, and clearing the party debris out of the living room! the point of this note is to say that I WILL NOT be washing the mountin [sic] of dishes!

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

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→ 110 CommentsFILED UNDER: TLDR · cleaning · dishes · martyr complex · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · you call that punctuation?


News bites

February 28th, 2010 · 80 comments

Writes Jarrod in Australia: “This was published in the local newspaper where my sister is a reporter. On first observation, it doesn’t seem like much of a passive-aggressive note, but the backstory behind it is that the owner of the paper has been refusing to have the building sprayed for spiders, thinking it unnecessary.” The staff’s response?

ALONG CAME A SPIDER  You could imagine the surprise one of out Pastoral Times workers received when they arrived at work to find a redback spider (pictured) had spun its web across their keyboard.  The fiery female arachnid was suspended, upside down, by a floor-to-ceiling web.  The journalist who made this discovery quickly snapped a photo of the brash redback before moving it outside.

“For the record,” Jarrod adds, “the redback spider is related to the black widow, but more toxic (has killed people, but not recently).”

related: What’s black, white, and totally over?

extra credit: The Death of Print Journalism

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→ 80 CommentsFILED UNDER: kinda creepy · newspaper


Counter attack

February 25th, 2010 · 196 comments

“Personally, I think all places should post this sign,” says Molly in Los Angeles.

We cordially ask that you...  Refrain from Call Phone Use At the Counter and Register  It's not that we don't appreciate your busy schedules, it's just nauseatingly rude and makes us feel less than human.  Thank You! -the people on the other side of the counter.

These days, it appears a lot of cash register-operators agree with Molly (and the fancy shop in Studio City where she buys her cheese).

To wit: exhibit a, from Betsey in Sumter, S.C.

Counter attack

Exhibit b) spotted by Otto at a sandwich shop in Frisco, Colorado

I wold love to take your order, As soon as you get off your Phone. -Thanx!!!

And so on and so forth.

But I’d like to draw your attention to this piece,  spotted by Jenna at a Pathmark pharmacy in Bayshore, New York, as a true masterpiece of the genre. With just a few carefully crafted words, it transforms this common sentiment into the ultimate in shame-inducing passive-aggression.

We promise...we won't interrupt you while you are on the phone. That would be rude of us.

related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s

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→ 196 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · actually totally reasonable · california · cell phone · colorado · etiquette · new york · oh snap · south carolina


Please refrain from unintentional irony

February 24th, 2010 · 79 comments

Is it executive exceptionalism at work here? Supreme lack of self-awareness? A wicked sense of humor? You decide.

Exhibit a) from Reva in Reedsburg, Wisconsin

PLEASE Be considerate when placing anything on the board. Don't cover up someone else's ads, posters, etc. Thank you!

Exhibit b) from Peggy at the University of New Brunswick

Fire regulations prohibit the posting of signs and notices on glass in passageways.

Exhibit c) from Jess in San Francisco

NO MORE NOTES!!

related: Please respect my fellow employees and stop leaving notes

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→ 79 CommentsFILED UNDER: meta · office · rebuttals


The penny is the most passive-aggressive coin.

February 23rd, 2010 · 118 comments

“Due to budget issues,” writes our submitter from Nashville, “coffee in our office is now funded through donations by those who drink it.” (Cost: 50 cents per cup, on the honor system.)

While some office workers no doubt continue to fill their cups without paying, the passive-aggressives in this office found their own way to convey their distaste for the new policy.

Putting 50 pennies in here is a hostile act.

related: Paying through the spout

extra credit: Phasing out pennies in a bid for change [NPR.org]

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→ 118 CommentsFILED UNDER: coffee · money · nashville · office


The sausage fest of horrors

February 22nd, 2010 · 94 comments

Which of these urinal notices do you find most troubling?

This one, from a London nightclub?

Attention Gents: Anyone caught taking photos of other gentlemen's wedding tackle will be ejected. By order of Fat Tony

This one, from a construction site in New York City?

One of our poor co-workers is suffering from a terrible affliction.  He can't see the color yellow bithout breaking into Uncontrollable Tears. Help him by flushing those tears down the drain.  Men don't like to see men Cry, -A CM Public Service Announcement

This one, from a campground in Russellville, Arkansas?

Please do not wash dishes in the urinal

Or this one, from an office in Redmond, Washington?

Your Attention Please!  This urinal is not a sausage dump. Please discard unwanted sausage in refuge containers, not in this, or any other, urinal. Urinals are designed to receive urine, not sausage products.

P.S. “Sausage dump” wasn’t a euphemism.

Urinals are not for sausages.

(Thanks to Dylan, Paul, David and Lucy for submitting!)

related: Why I hate Miami

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→ 94 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · wtf?


Can you dig it?

February 21st, 2010 · 359 comments

“When I first moved to Chicago,” says Mike, “my grandfather told me about parking in the winter. One would dig out a spot and insert a chair, reserving the spot for your trouble.” One of his neighbors, it seems, didn’t get the benefit of such grandfatherly wisdom.

Dear Transplant, You obviously haven't lived in Chicago long.

Neither, apparently, did Chris…who made the mistake of parking in an empty space outside his friend’s house in Chicago for few hours. When he got home, he found this note affixed to his mirror with glue.

Thanks for being so rude by parking in the space that I shoveled out for my family.

And of course, Chicago isn’t the only city that takes its snow-shoveling etiquette seriously.

Just ask Anna in New Jersey…

This table is not trash, it is mine. I am using it to mark my parking spot that I so diligently shoveled out twice yesterday.

Or Brooke in Indianapolis…

I spent 3.5 hours over 2 days to shovel this parking space out so i could get to work and earn a paycheck. Since parking on the street is my only option at the moment, I would ask that you respect my hard work in shoveling myself out and NOT take my spot to park.  Have your business spend money to plow your spots in front of your business if you would like a clean spot to park.  Regards, A homeowner with a sore back from shoveling so much snow!!!

Or Amy in Washington, D.C…

Dear "Neighbor": I'm sure you thought the Recycling Bin and Trash Bags were just there for decoration. When a person spends hours digging out a parking spot through two separate snowstorms, she has a right to park there upon her return.

Or Larry in Silver Spring, Maryland…

NOT COOL!!  You didn't take 3 hours to shovel this spot OUT!!  This is MY parking spot!!

Or Kristin in Pittsburgh…

PLEASE DON'T PARK HERE (or I will totally lose my shit!!)

Olivia in Albany…

Don't think about parking here   Shovel your own space  Thank you   Have a nice day

Or Chris in Boston…where they’re always keepin’ it classy.

Hey fucking asshole the barrel was there for a reason. I didn't shovel out the spot that you could park your shitbox in it you fucking dickhead.

related: Boston, a place for friends

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→ 359 CommentsFILED UNDER: chicago · etiquette · neighbors · parking · snow