sincerely, mr. ed

July 15th, 2008 · 135 comments · (stumble it!)

our anonymous submitter in california — pleading innocence — says she was singled-out with this note in a barn that houses 60 other horses and their hay.

sincerely, mr. ed

this note’s lack of obvious sitcom-ish puns — with the exception of “breeding good vibes” — makes me think that maybe i’ve been doing this too long…or perhaps that i haven’t been giving horses enough credit. (commenters, consider that a challenge.)

related: four legs good, two legs bad
extra credit: fourteen passive-aggressive appetizers [thenewyorker.com]

→ 135 CommentsTags: down on the funny farm · i'm telling on you! · karma's a bitch · los angeles · stealing

garçon à la pipe?

July 13th, 2008 · 139 comments · (stumble it!)

this masterpiece is a gift from the collection of zedral (morgantown, west virginia, 2008). the original installation also includes a trail of small arrows pointing customers toward the register, along with multiple post-it reiterations along the way.

garçon à la pipe?

related: ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

→ 139 CommentsTags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · retail hell

so many questions

July 10th, 2008 · 177 comments · (stumble it!)

what kind of objectionable trash do you suppose is being disposed of in these bins? (half-eaten curries? yesterday’s times?) how many hours of company time did the sign’s designer spend on this full-color laminated masterpiece? what is that comma doing there? and how, exactly, how are these bins to be monitored?

Reported to Management

related: servicing over a half-billion people…each and every day

→ 177 CommentsTags: CAPS LOCK · bathroom · clip art catastrophe · garbage · ireland · now that's management · office

sheena is a paintballer

July 9th, 2008 · 177 comments · (stumble it!)

where do you suppose this “anomous” tampa, florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?

sheena is a paintballer

paintball punk is playing at my house

sheena is a paintballer

interested? here’s a free preview!

sheena is a paintballer

related: your to lazy

→ 177 CommentsTags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy! · florida · gloriously redundant · irregular capitalization · kids today · moms & dads · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · tampa · the lawn · unnecessary "quotation marks"

the womb that would birth a thousand excuses

July 8th, 2008 · 212 comments · (stumble it!)

the most irritating part of finding this note propped on her keyboard, says jackie in philly, is that she wasn’t the person who requested dark chocolate in the office vending machine. “in fact, i can’t stand the stuff!” (in that case…hello, shower gift?)

jackie dark chocolate.jpg

related: bun — er, — pizza in the oven

→ 212 CommentsTags: office · philadelphia · preggers · smiley