In the news: Passive-aggressive watermelon carving?

July 15th, 2014 · 47 comments

Butcher Knife in Watermelon

A Connecticut man was arrested last night for allegedly slicing a watermelon in a passive-aggressive manner. According to the police report, the woman said she felt the man was resorting to “passive-aggressive” tactics to “intimidate her because he is angry at her.” According to the Register-Citizen:

The woman…was greeted by the sight of a watermelon, pierced by Cervillino’s large butcher knife, sitting on the kitchen counter top, police said. Cervillino walked in seconds later, and without saying anything, began slicing pieces of the watermelon.

Now, this site is notoriously loose in our working definition of “passive-aggressive,” but I’d call that just plain menacing. How about you?

(Thanks to Matt in D.C. for tipping us off to the story, and to Michael Kappel on Flickr for the photo!)

related: “Watermelon, watermelon, mofo, watermelon” will not work anymore

 

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: Connecticut · more aggressive than passive


The taking tree

July 10th, 2014 · 54 comments

Our submitter lives in a group of eight cottages in Alameda, California. She writes: “One of my neighbors, Mark, has a lemon tree and he always tells everyone to ‘Help themselves!’ However, last week, someone took the last lemon — which really upset Mark. A couple hours later, we noticed what looked like a peach on the lemon tree.”

The Taking Tree

related: The right to bear fruit

→ 54 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors


But what does the fox say?

July 8th, 2014 · 97 comments

Writes Kate in Pensacola, Florida: “There’s a new subdivision going up near me, and the farmer next door is NOT happy about it.”

NOTICE: This property is a farm Farms have animals. Animals make: Funny sounds Smell bad, and Have sex outdoors UNLESS YOU CAN TOLERATE Noise, Odors, and Outdoor sex DON'T BUY PROPERTY NEXT TO A FARM!

(And then, of course, there’s the city version…)

related: Oh, the rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

→ 97 CommentsFILED UNDER: Florida · horses, cows, & chickens


The sins of the father

July 3rd, 2014 · 70 comments

Kyle didn’t even want to open the card he got from his grandma for his 20th birthday, because he knew he was in for something more than $5 bill. “The week prior was my family reunion, and my dad decided not to go — and not to inform my grandma ahead of time,” Kyle says. Grandma decided to use Kyle’s birthday card to make her feelings about this clear.

The sins of the father

related: Thanks, Grandma. Really.

→ 70 CommentsFILED UNDER: birthday · Grandma · guilt trip · Minnesota · sad face


Have you called your mom lately?

June 29th, 2014 · 52 comments

Jaime and her husband live in a different state from her in-laws, but she’s not giving him a free pass. “To be honest, he really doesn’t call them as often as he should,” she says.

I love you, my son, no matter [if you don't call us very often!]

related: Better late than never?

→ 52 CommentsFILED UNDER: guilt trip · Moms & Dads


To the person who had corn for dinner last night

June 24th, 2014 · 46 comments

Although John in Oklahoma City is used to the office bathroom being papered with commentary from his coworkers, he found the imagery of this note to be…especially vivid.

To the person who had corn for dinner last night; I only know you did because you left a big steaming bowl of it here for all to see. Next time, if you would be so kind, please flush the toilet. I know it is sad that I have to ask a grown man to do so, but apparently, I do,  You have been a breath of fresh air (no pun intended). Unfortunately you must have a lot of free time on your hands. The message is not getting to the right dumpers. They come from other floors to escape their own life! Or it is you and you have an alter ego!

related: A diarrhea only toilet?

→ 46 CommentsFILED UNDER: office · Oklahoma · shit · toilet


Sleepless in Sydney

June 22nd, 2014 · 49 comments

William in Sydney spotted this note on the notice board of an apartment block he was visiting. If you’re going to tackle a DIY project, I reckon that Saturday morning is as good a time as any, no?

To the unit undergoing renovations, you know who you are, I wanted to thank you for the loud drilling on a Saturday morning. It was really considerate of you and I'm sure you gave a thought to your neighbors. I work late shift at the hospital, so thank you again, I really appreciate the lack of sleep. --Your neighbors you know. Fellow residents in the building

Confidential to the notewriter: As someone who also a) lives in an apartment complex and b) works the night shift at a hospital, I’m surprised you haven’t figured out by now that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your schedule. The graveyard shift is already taking years off your life. How about you do everyone a favor and use some of that sweet shift differential to buy yourself a pair of earplugs?

related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

 

→ 49 CommentsFILED UNDER: neighbors · noise · sarcasm · sleeping · Sydney · you know who you are


Spoiled milk

June 18th, 2014 · 58 comments

“Kitchen warfare has become somewhat of a spectator sport around here,” says our submitter, of his office in Vancouver. Perhaps a Vegan Support Group is in order?

Drinking Dairyland milk supports animal cruelty! Look it up.

related: Texts from Obnoxious Vegan Girl

→ 58 CommentsFILED UNDER: milk · office


The wizardry of water

June 17th, 2014 · 39 comments

Jake in Vermont says that the sign of the left showed up after the sign on the right failed to get the job done. (And you thought you’d never put that high school chemistry to use!)

Ice will become liquid at room temperature so please refrain from discarding ice in the trash as well.

related: Right, I still don’t understand this water/ice thing

extra credit: Mr. Wizard = kind of a jerk [youtube]

→ 39 CommentsFILED UNDER: garbage · ice · It's science! · Vermont


Polite notice, terrible font

June 12th, 2014 · 128 comments

Rebecca in London spotted this notice in her boyfriend’s block of flats. “While it’s true you do notice washing machines running, they’re not that loud,” she says. “On the night of the note being ‘edited’, there was defiant laundry running at 11:30pm.”

Polite notice (TERRIBLE FONT) Let's be considerate neighbors

related: Lord of the Laundry Room

→ 128 CommentsFILED UNDER: "polite notice" · laundry · London · neighbors · noise · rebuttals