Michael says this chaotic jumble of parenthetical-underlined-CAPSLOCK has been up since he started working at this California sushi restaurant, much to his amusement.

Adds Michael: “I don’t care how much a customer tips me, I am not going to satisfy all of their needs.” (So, no rice dicks, then?)

Honestly, it’s that last missing parenthesis that really gets me. Just close it up! Do it now!

related: Under no circumstances shall any chef make a Rice Dick.

Ty — an innocent bystander in this situation — saw this reply note taped to the door of his apartment building in Omaha. “I LOVE it!’ says Ty. Me too, Ty. Me too.

related: Save the earth, kill the kids?

Perhaps this bride has a fabulous sense of humor, and receiving a trashy romance novel as a wedding gift was a dream come true. However, given that Melanie found this inscribed copy at a Colorado Goodwill — and looks, she says, “completely unread” — Sariah might have preferred say, a toaster.

P.S. If you’re curious, here’s the Amazon synopsis of The Husband Trap:

Here comes the substitute bride. . . .Violet Brantford has always longed for the passionate embrace of Adrian Winter, the wealthy Duke of Raeburn. Problem is, he’s set to marry Violet’s vivacious, more socially polished look-alike twin sister, Jeannette. But when Jeannette refuses to go through with the ceremony mere minutes before it is to begin, soft-spoken Violet finds herself walking down the aisle and taking vows in her sister’s place. Soon shy Violet is a high-society wife, trying to keep her real identity a secret while living out the fantasies of her wildest dreams.  Adrian thinks he knows exactly what he’s gotten himself into: Jeannette may be flighty and, well, a bit self-involved, but she’s the picture-perfect wife to carry on the Winter name. Yet this marriage of convenience brings the groom more than he bargained for when he finds his sweet, innocent wife surprising him at every turn. And though he never planned on true love, Adrian is definitely in danger of losing his heart.

related: This is a very interesting present!

Putting decaf in the regular coffee pot? Now that’s just evil taken a step too far.

The decaf’s response:

recent: The British version of the above note

Writes Sarah in Oregon: “My son was required to give a Valentine to every student in his class, whether they were a friend or not. I found this one among the pile. Obviously, Megan isn’t a friend.” (But maybe his super-mega-crush?)

related: What a heartbreaker

xoxo, PAN

related: Valentine’s Day break-up heartbreak

There’s a vending machine troll on the loose in Chicago!

related: The Candyman Can’t

If the 21 notes you’ve already posted around the house haven’t made a difference…do you really think the 22nd is going to be the one that finally clicks? Just a thought!

related: The Post-It Wars

If only there were a simple solution to this problem…

related: PC Load Letter?!

Spotted by George outside his local church in East London:

related: He died for your clip art