Everything but the actual kitchen sink

October 22nd, 2012 · 23 comments

Writes Jocelyn in London: “Since moving into halls for the first year of university, our hygiene skills have gone downhill, to say the least. Finally, one of our roommates cracked and cleaned up the rotting mess…or so we thought.” Instead, he just found a new “dumping ground.”

I needed to wash a mug so I made room in the sink. Please stop using the sink & tops as a dumping ground! Sincerly [sic] Cameron xx

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

→ 23 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · dishes · London · roommates


Thanks, Mom.

October 21st, 2012 · 42 comments

While checking over her 7-year-old daughter’s homework sheet, LeAnn in Iowa found out that last Tuesday was apparently a lesson in buuuuurns.

At school I...ate stale Cheetos with lunch thanks Mom.

related post:

My mother’s favorite food 

→ 42 CommentsFILED UNDER: guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · schools & teachers


Some things to know about your new roommate

October 18th, 2012 · 106 comments

Shortly after he moved out, our submitter in Canada discovered that her ex-roommate had glued a memo for the room’s future occupant inside his bedroom closet — “his final passive-aggressive attempt to get under my skin.”

Caution: Some things to know Her dog stinks up entire house so close your door and get an air freshener. Roommate plays loud music and stays up all night talking on Skype and POF (very annoying) She has a high body temperature and never turns on heat, she will tell you to buy a box heater (annoying) Arguing with her is like boxing a glacier She yells at her dog all the time (annoying as fuck) She has an annoying voice and is a control freak She washes dishes and doesn't take them out of sink (annoying but also just fn weird) Overall, we're dealing with quite the peculiar roommate, good luck!

related: You’re not as bad as everyone warned me you’d be!

→ 106 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Canada · roommates


Who are you calling trash?

October 17th, 2012 · 46 comments

Writes our submitter in California: “Our custodial staff is very careful about not throwing stuff away just because it looks like trash. This co-worker wanted to make sure the right things got thrown away, but might have gotten a little overly specific.”

The result? “An onion of confusion and garbage.”

Box is trash Trashcan in box is not trash (Trash in trashcan in box is trash)

related: Hey, that garbage was important!

→ 46 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · garbage · office · Say wha?


He’s, uh, not a morning person?

October 16th, 2012 · 66 comments

So, Tiffany left her boyfriend Nate a cute little note one morning when she left early for work…

Thank you for making me laugh everyday, I love you.

This is how Nate responded:

Please stop wasting my post-it notes. Thanks! Nate

related post:
 
Well, that took an unexpected turn

→ 66 CommentsFILED UNDER: Netherlands · sig o · signed with love · The Earth · way harsh


Talkin’ trash

October 15th, 2012 · 47 comments

Our submitter, a college student in Texas, says this note appeared just two weeks into the fall semester. “I’m excited to see what gets posted a few weeks from now when nothing changes,” she adds.

In the meantime, can somebody get this kid a thesaurus?

Dear Residents of Level 4, Pick up your motherfucking trash and take it down to the motherfucking dumpster. Quit being such disrespectful assholes, and lazy Fat fucks and just drive your fucking trash down to the TRASH CAN. I swear to god I will shove a broom up your ass if you don't start keeping up after yourselves. You are a motherfucking slob. Sincerely, I fucking hate you

related: Kiss your mother with that mouth?

 

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · garbage · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · Texas · that's disrespectful


Go home, boyfriend. You’re drunk.

October 11th, 2012 · 41 comments

Bryce and his girlfriend Lindsay are an adorable couple. Need proof? One cozy night in, Bryce had a lil’ bit too much too drink. Unfortunately, the bathroom was occupied at the time, so he booted (adorably) in the sink…which happened to be full of unwashed dishes. The next morning, Lindsay found her favorite coffee mug filled to the brim with not-coffee. The result was Instagrammed.

Dear Bryce, Please accept this hand-painted, ceramic panda bear mug. Because you puked in it and now I never want to drink out of it again.  xoxo Lindsay

related: Going up?

extra credit: Mixed Message Coffee Mug

→ 41 CommentsFILED UNDER: dishes · drizzunk · vomit · xoxo


Relax, you miserable sod, you’re on island time!

October 10th, 2012 · 162 comments

Spotted by Gretchen in the resort town of Mount Maunganui, New Zealand:

WE WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST:- When ordering food please ask for the APPROXIMATE waiting time then perhaps do the following: Go for a walk, feed the seagulls, watch the ocean waves crashing against the sandy shore, chat to the boaties as they bring in their catch, sit down, relax, read a magazine, etc. etc. then pop back in at the right time and see if your order is ready or your number has been called.  WHAT WE DO NOT RECOMMEND:- Waiting with a sour face that even your mother would find hard to love, arms folded, tapping your feet, looking at your watch every thirty seconds, and asking if your food is ready every 60 seconds, then when its ready snatching it out of the hands of our tired and hassled staff.  PLEASE REMEMBER:- CHILL!! And let's have a stress free holiday.  A smile and patience cost nothing.  THANKYOU!!  Ps If you have forgotten how to smile and chill out there is an online guide at www.dontbesuchamiserablesod.com.

related: A clue that your whole “half-caf, extra hot, non-fat dressing-on-the-side” thing might be a bit much

→ 162 CommentsFILED UNDER: "polite notice" · most popular notes of 2012 · New Zealand · p.s. · restaurant


The cat came back

October 9th, 2012 · 67 comments

I know I’m asking for trouble here, but when John in Missouri passed along this exchange between his father’s neighbor (an “interested animal lover”) and his father (a reluctant one), I just couldn’t resist.

Sir- I hope you are putting fresh water out for the gray cat on these very hot days. I see him laying out on your stoop looking miserable! It would be nice if he could come inside. The elderly lady that use to live there took good care of the cats. An interested Animal Lover

If the cat does not want to look quite so miserable it could go to the shade in the back yard. It will not drink water even on hottest days. I tried. I think the hot days are over. As you said, it is not my cat. It could sleep in garage if it wants to. It will not drink water, I have a witness. Please take the cat. Feed it. Water it. Please. Let it mess up your house.

Confidential to John’s Dad: I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

related: The Great Outdoor Cat Debate of 2012

→ 67 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · old folks


Lemme break it down for you

October 8th, 2012 · 38 comments

Ashleigh says her apartment complex in Gainesville, Florida is “notoriously slow” when it comes to repairs. Apparently, some of her neighbors got tired of waiting.

Just a 'little' reminder our stove is broke! We do enjoy the free dinner the past 2 nights though

related: Love, the Landlord

→ 38 CommentsFILED UNDER: Florida · landlords and property managers · stove