Lemme break it down for you

October 8th, 2012 · 38 comments

Ashleigh says her apartment complex in Gainesville, Florida is “notoriously slow” when it comes to repairs. Apparently, some of her neighbors got tired of waiting.

Just a 'little' reminder our stove is broke! We do enjoy the free dinner the past 2 nights though

related: Love, the Landlord

→ 38 CommentsFILED UNDER: Florida · landlords and property managers · stove


It’s not an argument; it’s a discussion.

October 7th, 2012 · 63 comments

Explains Melissa in Virginia: “As many couples probably do, my fiancé and I have had an ongoing discussion about his propensity to leave cabinet doors and drawers open.” Melissa insists she’s not aggravated by the open cabinets — she just feels the need to bring the issue to his attention.

Then, last week, Melissa was thrilled to receive a beautiful flower arrangement at her office. “Then I opened the damn card!”

Hi Honey, I closed a cabinet door just now and thought of you.  Love, Steve

related: Really, though — carnations?

→ 63 CommentsFILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Northern Virginia · opening/closing


Welcome to Charm City

October 5th, 2012 · 30 comments

Spotted by Matt in Baltimore, Maryland…

Are you the fuckface who was parked on Eastern a few weeks back for close to a week taking up 2 spots? Maybe parking isn't tight in NY, but in Charm City, we like to think of our neighbors! Learn how to park A-hole!  Dear Person who wrote this Note, Sorry, but I wasn't the person who parked on Eastern Ave. a few weeks ago and took up two spaces. I know, all black sedans look the same. An honest mistake, I'm sure. However, I didn't appreciate being called a

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

→ 30 CommentsFILED UNDER: Baltimore · most popular notes of 2012 · Oops? · parking


The definition of hygiene

October 3rd, 2012 · 34 comments

While traveling in India on business, Melissa spotted this sign in all of the women’s restrooms at one office.

Note: Based on my experience with this site, I have to conclude that the fairer sex most definitely does not “define hygiene.”

Ladies, Please throw Used Tissues, Sanitary Items, INSIDE the DustBin NOT ON the DUSTBIN. Please Flush Toilet After Each Use Please Wipe Toilet Seat if you have used the sprayer Do NOT Spray Water on the Floor We do not Need Notices for this. We are Women. We Define Hygiene. Why is it missing here????

related: The bathroom battle of the sexes — a true race to the bottom

extra credit: “Cleaner than Shit” Liquid Hand Soap

→ 34 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · confusion??? · hygiene · India · office · toilet


Just google it.

October 2nd, 2012 · 36 comments

Heather in California says none of her colleagues will admit to writing this note, four copies of which showed up one day in the “very, very, small breakroom” at her office.

Dearest colleagues, Since non[e] of our Moms will be dropping around to clean up after us like they did when we were little kids; why not recap the p-nut butter, close the cracks and wipe up your crumbs before returning to work following break of lunch? Perhaps wetting a paper towel and wiping up your spills etc. etc.   Those of us who follow you into the break room would prefer not to have to clean-up your food remains so that we can have a clean neat environment in which to enjoy our breaks.   For detailed instructions on procedures to employ following making a mess, simply search GOOGLE for

P.S. As of today, the first page of search results for “activities of common courtesy and how to clean-up after finishing my break” includes a Wikipedia List of Breaking Bad characters.

related: This is in the way

→ 36 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · cleaning · office · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation? · Your mother doesn't...


Comment dit-on “fermez la porte SVP” en anglais?

October 1st, 2012 · 24 comments

Our submitter, who works at a language school in France,  isn’t 100% sure which one of the managers posted this on the staff board. However, there is one person he can think of who “has a fondness for long patronizing notes when a simple ‘please close the door’ would do.”

(just click the photo to enlarge)

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!   I a door these notes.

related: Ceci n’est pas une porte

→ 24 CommentsFILED UNDER: obnoxious definition · opening/closing · smartass · TL;DR


Well, that’s a bit rude.

September 30th, 2012 · 67 comments

Emily in Texas remembers her parents being convinced she was most uncouth child ever born — they even sent her to etiquette school to clean up her act. Well, she got a rude reminder of those days when she found this birthday card in the back of her closet.

Dear Daughter, We wish you [a] very Happy 7th Birthday and hope you will make us proud of you by doing everything better [particularly] on your [manners]. from Mom & Dad

related: Happy Valentine’s Day from Mom

→ 67 CommentsFILED UNDER: birthday · etiquette · Moms & Dads · spelling and grammar police · Texas


Signed, The Cat

September 27th, 2012 · 70 comments

From a house full of roommates in Texas, our submitter calls this “a prime example of ‘dogs have owners, cats have staff.’”

Anna, please clean my vomit. Thanks. —Cat

related: Hendrix is the cat

→ 70 CommentsFILED UNDER: cats · cleaning · roommates · vomit


FU Load Letter

September 26th, 2012 · 37 comments

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

PLEASE SEE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN REGARD TO THIS MACHINE OR HOW TO OPERATE OR CLEAR A JAM. DO NOT START PUSHING BUTTONS OR OPENING THINGS IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. SEE ME FOR ASSISTANCE. THANK YOU.   Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

related: My Secretary, Sybil

→ 37 CommentsFILED UNDER: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching


(Willpower not provided)

September 25th, 2012 · 32 comments

At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)

Blueberry Cheesecake for Whoever Wants Some. I'm totally intimidated by this cheesecake. Will someone please eat it so I can use the breakroom!

related post:

This is a candy-optional office

→ 32 CommentsFILED UNDER: cake · Jacksonville · office