Are we better off now than we were four years ago?

September 11th, 2012 · 44 comments

I never got around to it then, so I figured now was as good of a wibbly wobbly timey wimey as any to take a nostalgic look back at the best-loved notes of 2008. Which one is your favorite?

(Just click any of the images to see the original post with backstory and close-ups.)

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished.  Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy.  -Thanks!

Tiffany fed me no thanks to you. Do you want me dead? just feed me to the cat.

Molly's Pet Peive: Drippy Faucets. Please turn them completely off when you are done. Thanks. Julie's pet peeve: spelling errors! If you want me to take you seriously, make an effort! Molly's 2nd pet peeve: having to tell ppl to turn the faucet off in the first place

"Cheers, Mate!" is not an acceptable tip in Texas

Jesus DIED for you. Please silence your cell phone pager for Him before entering. Thank you!

You don't know me...and to be honest I don't think you want to...but there is an issue that I need to address with you...and I'm not gonna be passive-aggressie about it. It has come to my attention that you have taken the white board that I gave Emily!!! And that angers me!!! I am not a child and I don't play childish games so let me put this as simply as I can...don't take shit that doesn't belong to you!!! I am writing this to you telling you to give Emily her shit back before I have to take matters into my own hands and get people involved that don't need to be in this...The next step in this little game is to go to our housing authority and I don't think you really want them to know about your skeeze-ball boyfriend living with you...or having to deal with the penalties and fines that come along with your ignorant acts! So stop being a cunt and give us the board back immediately. Thanks :) Your Secret Admirer

MELBA!!!! Your Letter Upset Your Friend. And For no good reason. Mind Your Own BUISNESS [sic]

katlama require drummer for regular gigging. previous applicants may apply again...except Graham

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→ 44 CommentsFILED UNDER: Most Popular Notes · most popular notes of 2008


You’re saying YOU have more than an eighth-grade education?

September 10th, 2012 · 51 comments

Our anonymous submitter in Toronto spotted this note — one copy in the elevator, and three copies taped to a couch that had been left near the dumpster in the building’s parking lot.

THIS MESSAGE GOES OUT TO THE MORON IN THIS BUILDING WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT THEIR COUCH AND BLANKET IN THE PARKING LOT. ON BEHALF OF THE RESIDENTS IN THIS BUILDING WHO HAVE MORE THAN A GRADE EIGHT EDUCATION, IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT YOU ACTUALLY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OVER YOUR CHOICES AND DISPOSE OF YOUR PURCHASES? IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU BOUGHT SUCH AND UGLY COUCH, BUT EVEN WORSE THAT YOU MAKE OTHER PEOPLE STARE AT IT. THE FACT THAT YOU LEFT IT HERE MEANS ONE OF TWO THINGS. YOU EITHER HAVE THE MENTALITY OF A FIVE YEAR OLD OR YOUR RICH PARENTS BABIED YOU INTO THINKING THIS WAS ACCEPTABLE BEHAIVIOUR. EITHER WAY, IT'S THE SAME THING. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. YOU'RE THE REASON EVOLUTION TAKES SO LONG.

Dear Sir: Your “behaiviour,” spelling, and poor understanding of evolutionary theory don’t suggest that you graduated at the top of your class, either.

THIS MESSAGE GOES OUT TO THE MORON IN THIS BUILDING WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT THEIR COUCH AND BLANKET IN THE PARKING LOT. ON BEHALF OF THE RESIDENTS IN THIS BUILDING WHO HAVE MORE THAN A GRADE EIGHT EDUCATION, IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT YOU ACTUALLY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OVER YOUR CHOICES AND DISPOSE OF YOUR PURCHASES? IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU BOUGHT SUCH AND UGLY COUCH, BUT EVEN WORSE THAT YOU MAKE OTHER PEOPLE STARE AT IT. THE FACT THAT YOU LEFT IT HERE MEANS ONE OF TWO THINGS. YOU EITHER HAVE THE MENTALITY OF A FIVE YEAR OLD OR YOUR RICH PARENTS BABIED YOU INTO THINKING THIS WAS ACCEPTABLE BEHAIVIOUR. EITHER WAY, IT'S THE SAME THING. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. YOU'RE THE REASON EVOLUTION TAKES SO LONG.

related: Who says Canadians are nice?

extra credit: Humans are still evolving, scientists say

→ 51 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · Toronto


Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your veggies

September 9th, 2012 · 35 comments

This is not a passive-aggressive note, this is not a joke — this is a public service announcement, brought to us by Sarah in Seattle.

(No, it’s not as crazy as this, but darn, those tomatoes are cute.)

Attention Beacon Hill! There is a TOMATO THIEF on the prowl. TWO GIANT CHERRY TOMATO PLANTS WERE KIDNAPPED in the night. Be on the lookout. Lock up your veggies! This is not a joke! A public service announcement.

related: To the tomato thief: YOU WIN

extra credit: Tomato thief, busted

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Seattle


Deck you, neighbor.

September 6th, 2012 · 218 comments

Travis in Minnesota says this note was dropped in his mailbox by some anonymous neighbor who had apparently been fixated on watching him build his backyard deck.

“I was surprised that anyone noticed, let alone went through the trouble to write a full-page complaint,” Travis says. “However, he’s right in that, as one person working on the occasional free night and on weekends, it did take me a full year to complete the project.”

Hello sir, we've been watching you.  We've seen how hard you worked, how long and tirelessly you worked to construct a deck for your family. Let us be the first to give you a back handed compliment by saying

Adds Travis: “I think the strangest part of the note is the challenge to my masculinity. I’m glad that someone finally told me that it’s more manly to pay for someone to do a job for you than to do it yourself. Here I was, all this time, thinking it was just the opposite. Boy, is my face red!”

P.S. If you’re curious, here’s a photo of the deck. I think it’s quite nice.

The deck in question

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

→ 218 CommentsFILED UNDER: crazypants · just an asshole · just kidding! · Minnesota · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · nonsensical spacing · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback · WTF? · your/you're


Oh, for the Life of Brian

September 6th, 2012 · 41 comments

Writes Karin in Michigan: “I found this note taped on the window above the sink after I left a cup on the counter rather than putting it in the dishwasher. I guess my dad thought this approach would be easier than yelling.”

FYI The dishwasher IS the white thing with the buttons on your right. The dishwasher IS NOT the white balding middle aged man named Brian. Thank you.

related: The Wrath of the Ancients

extra credit: This is how my son does the dishes [youtube.com]

→ 41 CommentsFILED UNDER: dishes · dishwasher · FYI · Michigan · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012


Nice try, Mom.

September 4th, 2012 · 86 comments

Margee in Missouri, who does not like to share her cookie dough, thought she’d found the one place in the fridge her kids wouldn’t think to look  — inside the salad spinner. (“Apparently I underestimated my daughter,” she says.)

You think you're so clever, don't you?

related: Daddy’s little smartass

→ 86 CommentsFILED UNDER: food · fridge · Moms & Dads · sharing is caring


Would you trust this guy around a table saw?

September 3rd, 2012 · 77 comments

Recognizing its greatness, Kori in San Diego says her neighbor had this letter framed; it’s now held a place of honor in the garage for more than a decade.

The high school who was to get the sable-saw will not get this and other tools because of Your poor intelligence of not wearing something on your clothing letting people know that your [sic] are the CASHIER. By the way what is your I.Q.?

(Just click the photo to enlarge.)

related: Some advice on holding a Garage Sale

→ 77 CommentsFILED UNDER: garage sale · guilt trip · high on highlighter · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback


This cereal is now yours to control.

August 30th, 2012 · 92 comments

Samantha‘s note about her Kindle seems to have hit a nerve with many of you. As commenter ae wrote, “The ‘it’s MY Kindle you know’ line would have gotten me the “Oh, did you pay for it with your own money?’ line from my parents.”

Well, Lea in Los Angeles seems to come from that same school of parenting. When she and her husband found this demand stuck to the cereal box this morning, they decided to teach their daughter, Chela, a little lesson.

This cereal is now yours to control.

related: My evil Mom

→ 92 CommentsFILED UNDER: cereal · kids · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · rebuttals · smiley


Well, at least she reads?

August 29th, 2012 · 153 comments

Our submitter passes along this bratty-but-pretty-much-toothless note written by her niece, Samantha. Explains our submitter: “Yellow Fang’s Secret is a book in the ‘Warrior’ series (about clans of cats). It isn’t actually going to be published until October.”

Not Dear-Mommy. We will not do anything you want until you do what we want. Which is - DUH - getting Yellow Fang's Secret for my Kindle. It's my Kindle, you know. If you don't I will not get out of my school clothes and both Sophie and I will not leave our room. not-so-love, Samantha, and Sophie!! !! !! !!

related: More not-so-threatening threats by kids

extra credit: “Why Are American Kids So Spoiled?” [newyorker.com]

→ 153 CommentsFILED UNDER: kids · Mother-daughter notes · sad face


Do you have a conscience?

August 28th, 2012 · 37 comments

Visiting her friend’s apartment for the first time, Kristin in New York City couldn’t help but notice that the entryway was completely covered with ALL CAPS notes from the building’s landlord. Among her favorites was this meta-monstrosity.

Says Kristin: “I love how his tone is over-the-top aggressive, but his actual threat isn’t that scary, given that, as far as I could tell, he’s the only one putting up signs.”

NOTICE WARNING For the last time! Do Not EVER take down/move any sign I put up!! If this EVER happens AGAIN, I will take down ANYTHING on any hallway WALL or DOOR that I did not put up. LAST REMINDER (which should not be necessary!!) DON'T EVER TOUCH ANY SIGN I PUT UP OR ANYTHING in the main floor hallway (THAT BELONGS TO ME)!! Thank you, Abbott

Another of Kristin’s favorites was this one, about water usage. “I’m not sure how overuse of water in New York impacts people in Haiti, but OK!”

Do you have a conscience? Think of all the many Haitians who are dying for just a drop of the water you are wasting. Remember God sees all! THINK!!!

related: Love, the Landlord

→ 37 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · guilt trip · landlords and property managers · New York · warning