How many scientists does it take…

June 19th, 2012 · 37 comments

Two unisex bathrooms; two crops of overly-educated office drones; one shared problem.

IT DOESN'T TAKE A BRAIN SURGENT TO CHANGE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL. SERIOUSLY... [Apparently, though, it takes a Scientist to spell Surgeon correctly.]

Women. Always something to complain about.

(Re: “You can do it with one hand!” Clearly, Natalie knows her audience.)

related: It’s not rocket science.

extra credit: “My dad is a bachelor and this is how he keeps his toilet paper…” [imgur]

→ 37 CommentsFILED UNDER: battle of the sexes · Facebook · toilet paper


Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

June 18th, 2012 · 18 comments

By the end of the summer, could Carly be the new Kanye of passive-aggressive notes? She does have the Beliebers behind her…

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but quit blocking out driveway asshat

related: A little bump and slide

extra credit: Best of the “Call Me Maybe” meme [buzzfeed]

→ 18 CommentsFILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2012 · Oakland · parking


Father’s Day Faux Pas

June 17th, 2012 · 48 comments

Based on the dots between the words (a technique picked up at Montessori School), Lauren in Vancouver estimates she was about six years old when she wrote this note (translation below):

Dad, I am angry because you throwed away your father’s day present. If I catch you doing it again, I will hit you hard. Signed, Lauren.

Dad, I am angry because you throwed away your father's day present. If I catch you doing it again, I will hit you hard. Signed, Lauren.

In her father’s defense, “The gift in question was a giant, brightly-coloured fish made out of paper and stuffed with newsprint,” Lauren says. “I remember finding the ‘present’ in the garbage and putting it back on my father’s desk, which is probably where the threat came in.”

And then, of course, there’s the troll dad approach…

Troll dad does it right

related: An honest Father’s Day card

extra credit: Dads on Vacation [tumblr]

→ 48 CommentsFILED UNDER: Father-daughter notes · kids · Moms & Dads · not-so-veiled threats


Bath Salts are NOT an advisable alternative to cheese sticks.

June 14th, 2012 · 20 comments

Rhiannon in Missouri opened the fridge at work to find this not-at-all-disturbing note from an anonymous office zombie.

To the person who is stealing and eating cheese sticks that are not his or hers. STOP! Did you buy them? No. Solution: Go to the store and get your own. You can't be that hungry. If you are, gnaw the face off a homeless man.

(The perp’s response: “Well, if you say so!”)

related: Who moved my cheese?

→ 20 CommentsFILED UNDER: cheese · most popular notes of 2012 · office fridge


The Go to Hell™ Bouquet

June 13th, 2012 · 19 comments

“My friend and her roommate did not get along at all in college,” says Bryan in Chicago, “to the point where they were only communicating by notes for the last six months they lived together. This is the last note my friend left before officially moving out.”

I cleaned most of the apartment so please keep it tidy while you move out  - Kelsey.  P.S. go to hell

related: When frenemies attack!

→ 19 CommentsFILED UNDER: cleaning · mean girls · p.s. · roommates


My arms are open for you — and your dirty laundry!

June 12th, 2012 · 13 comments

Bill was walking down the street in Madison, Wisconin when he passed this note — complete with a rejoinder from the neighborhood joker — taped to the door of an apartment building. [frowny face emoticon!]

Jeffrey, Your things are by the back stairs.  Do not call or email me. [Jeffrey, My arms are open for you!  -Zac W.]

related: Please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP

→ 13 CommentsFILED UNDER: breakup · way harsh


We can put a man on the moon, but…

June 11th, 2012 · 33 comments

This [plagiarized] note comes to us from a staff restroom at NASA’s Johnson Space Center. “This is just great,” says our submitter. “We can put a 7-degrees-of-freedom robotic arm in space that can build a space station, but we can’t get a ‘wall robot’ to work…or even send in a work order request to get it fixed.”

Thank you...motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, would you care to test out this motion sensor hand towel machine for yourself?

Aaaaand…there you have it.

related: It’s not rocket science.

extra credit: “Nice Work If You Can Get It” [This American Life]

→ 33 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · Houston · office · thanks (but not really)


A one-two brunch

June 10th, 2012 · 39 comments

Writes Jennifer in Denver: “At the restaurant where I work, my co-worker has had some issues with the cooks not reading his tickets correctly.” (Apparently, Scott’s not one for the “you catch more flies with honey” approach.)

EGGS BENEDICT: PLEASE DON'T FUCK IT UP THIS TIME

related: How NOT to earn great restaurant tips

→ 39 CommentsFILED UNDER: Denver · restaurant


The Silent Treatment

June 8th, 2012 · 68 comments

Tom’s daughter, Meg, was upset that her mother made her a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, so she wrote this note to inform her mom of her “punishment.”

Sorry Mom but you knew I do not like cheese I am not going to talk!

Meanwhile, in Salt Lake City, six-year-old Elizabeth tried a similar approach. Her parents were so amused they’ve held on the note for decades since then.

I have taped my mouth shut so I won't have a crying fit. I hope you're happy I really do mom and dad

When I have kids, I really hope I can manipulate them into this sort of thinking…

related: Buckets of my Tears

→ 68 CommentsFILED UNDER: cheese · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012


Oh, and about that “cheese” in your Vegemite & Cheese sandwich…

June 6th, 2012 · 55 comments

At Tazza’s office in Sydney, someone (not Harold, that much we know) was so offended by a coworker’s half-made cup of instant coffee that he or she felt obliged to leave this note.

This is NOT coffee! Why are you doing this to yourself? :-|

related: Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine

extra credit: Men Being Jerks to Their Wives about Coffee [youtube]

extra extra credit: Who Made That Kraft Single? [nytimes.com]

→ 55 CommentsFILED UNDER: Australia · coffee · office · Sydney · unsolicited feedback