Writes our submitter in Texas: “We live on a military installation, where the housing is notoriously small and right on top of each other. We’ve gotten to know our neighbors very well, and the author of this note is most likely someone we consider a good friend.”
Our submitter humble-brags that yes, his wife is incredibly attractive, but insists that her clothing isn’t overtly “sexy” — tank tops and shorts, yes, but not crop tops and hot pants. However, he says, “Since we discovered this on Friday, my wife has taken to wearing baggy t-shirts and sweatpants when she’s out in the yard. I don’t blame her one bit.”
Amping up the creepiness factor, our submitter adds that his wife DOES own a pair of pink shoes – but she’s never worn them outside the house.
related: (Don’t fear) the creeper
FILED UNDER: a matter of taste · kinda creepy · military · neighbors · p.s. · sex sex sex · Texas
Our submitter in Chicago found these notes were in her son’s 8th grade autograph book. “Only a few other students are going to the same high school that my son will be attending,” she writes. “These two girls are part of that group and seem eager to get on to the next year of flame-throwing. I thought the heart was a nice, passive-aggressive touch.”
Adds our submitter: “The weird thing is that these girls both appear to be so nice and docile in person.”
related: So much for “Have a nice summer, see you next year”
FILED UNDER: Chicago · heart · mean girls · schools & teachers · way harsh
One of Allison’s coworkers recently became convinced that one of the evening janitors had it in for her shoes — different shoes. On multiple occasions. “Needless to say,” Allison says, “she didn’t last much longer.”
Meanwhile, Kris in Alabama spotted this note on a locker at his place of business:
related: Or I will CUT YOU
FILED UNDER: Edmonton · I know who you are · office · spelling and grammar police · you're like so going to hell · your/you're
“I haven’t had a close relationship with my grandparents since I graduated from college 14 years ago,” writes Lindsay in Nashville. “I only see them a couple of times a year, so it’s typically pretty awkward when we get together. I have nothing against them, but they haven’t been involved with my life in so long it’s almost like we’re acquaintances, rather than family.”
This masterpiece is what Lindsay received this year for her birthday.
Adds Lindsay: “They have written me, my sister and my mother out of their will multiple times — though we’re all reinstated now, as far as I know.”
related: Smack! Right in the feels.
FILED UNDER: Grandma · guilt trip
Writes our submitter in Cambridge, UK: “There’s a master’s student living in our shared student house — the kind who lives off hemp protein and lentils. Anyway, the house has an hallway running through the middle, with his room on one side and a landing on the other. This note appeared on the landing the other day. I think it has the perfect combination of smiley faces, violent threats, love and climate change.”
related: Pure, unadulterated corporate greed!
FILED UNDER: Cambridge · energy usage · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · smiley · The Earth · U.K.
Holly in Glendale, Arizona says her one-year-old daughter just learned how to walk, and (as toddlers do) enjoys toddling around the apartment. Holly and her husband have tried explaining this to the downstairs neighbors, to no avail. “They bang on the ceiling, which scares the living sh*t out of my little girl,” Holly says, and have called the cops — “whose response was to apologize for disturbing us.”
Now, Holly says, “As soon as my one-year-old walks into the kitchen, the woman who lives below us will immediately run up our stairs and throw herself against our door, screaming and threatening us.”
I feel you, Holly, but maybe those “my first stilettos” are a bit much?
related: Please walk your elephant quietly!
extra credit: A baby elephant takes its first steps [youtube]
FILED UNDER: Arizona · kids · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats
Alexandria in Australia says that the card she got from her parents on her 18th birthday (below) “is a pretty good summary of my formative years.”
I think this card expresses the fact that, although we both love you very much we find it hard to say, just like you do. All the best for your adulthood.
With bells on! Love Mum
related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have.
FILED UNDER: Australia · birthday · Moms & Dads
Look out Keebler Elves, cookies have a new mascot… in Poland anyway, where Karolina spotted this note warning her and her fellow coworkers not to indulge in any mid-shift snacking.
Arguably a bit severe, but hey, as Kristie from San Antonio let us know, when you say it with a cookie, you speak from the heart.
Related: “Too many”
FILED UNDER: food · office
Joanna in Boston says this started with “have a blessed day,” and has continued to escalate from there.
related: Fish cookies, anyone?
FILED UNDER: Boston · fish · office · public shaming · rebuttals
“My mom mistakenly picked up a birthday card for my sister’s graduation,” writes our submitter in Canada. “The real gold, of course, is in what she decided to cross out.”
related: For the conditionally beautiful bride
FILED UNDER: Canada · faint praise · Mother-daughter notes