A wife of noble character…does all the dishes?

April 16th, 2014 · 97 comments

Writes Julia, a student at an evangelical university in Indiana: “In our graduate student offices, there are more crusty dishes and microbial communities to be found than in the labs next door. After four weeks of mugs, oatmeal bowls and lunch containers had built up, one lad took the most effective course of action and posted this encouraging note for us single ladies to know what it takes to catch ourselves a guy just like him.”

A wife of noble character, who can find?... She sets about her work vigorously; her arms strong for the tasks... She watches over the affairs [dishes] of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31 selections, NIV

related: Life at a Christian college

→ 97 CommentsFILED UNDER: battle of the sexes · dishes · God


You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

April 14th, 2014 · 106 comments

Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over?

Missing: Three All Beef Hot Dogs

related: A bitter butter battle

→ 106 CommentsFILED UNDER: food · non-apology apology · office · St. Louis


The nicest possible way

April 8th, 2014 · 63 comments

Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with?

I am going to say this in the nicest possible way: Who is the stupid idiot that keeps putting cans of soda and bottles of water in the freezer? Stop doing this. I am tired of cleaning up the messes you make!

I mean, this guy even said please.

Do NOT put cans of soda in the freezer!!!! They explode and get all over people's food! Please do not put them in the freezer!

(Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)

 

related: Ice Box-ing

→ 63 CommentsFILED UNDER: beverages · Coke · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office fridge


No, not the stink eye!

April 3rd, 2014 · 25 comments

Writes our submitter in Leeds: “I enjoy the fact that a second piece of paper had to be added to express the full rage of this (presumably wet-footed) person.”

To the guy who pissed in the lift on Sunday Morning, You are DISGUSTING! I hope you woke up with a massive hangover and are now hanging your head in shame that the lovely people of A block were unknowingly walking your urine around, and undoubtedly into their flats! I may not have fully seen your face, but your navy shift and hair cut should hopefully allow me to recognize you, and give you a look of shame at your disgusting behavior! Use a toilet next time, it's not hard.

related: Lift or Loo?

→ 25 CommentsFILED UNDER: drizzunk · elevator · piss · public shaming · that's disgusting · U.K.


Pity the fool

April 2nd, 2014 · 41 comments

Writes our submitter in Santa Rosa, CA: “Our office is full of people who like to take the last of the coffee and not take the time to brew a new pot. And not just on April Fool’s Day.”

April Fool's Day was yesterday. If you finish a carafe of coffee, please make another one.

related: Coffee pot flowchart

→ 41 CommentsFILED UNDER: coffee · office


Sweetums? Hey, sweetums?

April 1st, 2014 · 30 comments

Ian in Ontario was browsing in a used bookshop when he found this copy of one of Roger Hargreaves classic “Mister” books — complete with a gift inscription to the book’s previous owner. Adds Ian: “I can’t imagine why ‘sweetums’ didn’t want it anymore.”

MR. LAZY

 

WARNING: HEH, HEH, Don't take this too seriously, sweetums. It's just a joke.

 

related: Another book inscription that didn’t go too well

→ 30 CommentsFILED UNDER: just kidding!


Taking the trash out with your junk out

March 27th, 2014 · 42 comments

Colette recently caught a glimpse of this note — though not the offender in question — in her U.K. apartment building.

To the man at no. 105: When taking your bins out please cover up. I don't want my kids seeing your genitals. Regards, The Rest of the Building

related: Be more private with yourself

→ 42 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · garbage · neighbors · Won't somebody think of the children?


Yours truly, Benz

March 24th, 2014 · 46 comments

Mercedes-Benz owners, as we’ve seen before, don’t often try to disprove their reputation for douchebaggery. But, as Jane in Ithaca reports, nothing stirs up self-righteousness quite like residential on-street parking!

I'm forced to park like an asshole when other assholes park like assholes. Welcome to on street parking. Yours truly, Benz

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind…

extra credit: BMW drivers really are jerks, studies find [marketwatch.com]

→ 46 CommentsFILED UNDER: parking


Good subs, bad subs

March 19th, 2014 · 71 comments

Short, and if not necessarily sweet, it gets the point across. I think I’d have to give this sign a snarky thumbs up.

(don't) drop the bass

related: On jamming

→ 71 CommentsFILED UNDER: music · neighbors · noise · smartass


Lettuce not praise blameless men

March 18th, 2014 · 98 comments

Writes our submitter from the UK: “It seems that student living brings out the best in passive aggressive note-writers.”

Hello,  You left this piece of lettuce on the floor last week and I was wondering if you still wanted it? If you do you should maybe keep it in a safer place than the communal kitchen floor.  Just checking,  Alex from room A xxx

related: EAT ME!

→ 98 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · food · smartass