To the person who had corn for dinner last night

June 24th, 2014 · 46 comments

Although John in Oklahoma City is used to the office bathroom being papered with commentary from his coworkers, he found the imagery of this note to be…especially vivid.

To the person who had corn for dinner last night; I only know you did because you left a big steaming bowl of it here for all to see. Next time, if you would be so kind, please flush the toilet. I know it is sad that I have to ask a grown man to do so, but apparently, I do,  You have been a breath of fresh air (no pun intended). Unfortunately you must have a lot of free time on your hands. The message is not getting to the right dumpers. They come from other floors to escape their own life! Or it is you and you have an alter ego!

related: A diarrhea only toilet?

→ 46 CommentsFILED UNDER: office · Oklahoma · shit · toilet


Sleepless in Sydney

June 22nd, 2014 · 49 comments

William in Sydney spotted this note on the notice board of an apartment block he was visiting. If you’re going to tackle a DIY project, I reckon that Saturday morning is as good a time as any, no?

To the unit undergoing renovations, you know who you are, I wanted to thank you for the loud drilling on a Saturday morning. It was really considerate of you and I'm sure you gave a thought to your neighbors. I work late shift at the hospital, so thank you again, I really appreciate the lack of sleep. --Your neighbors you know. Fellow residents in the building

Confidential to the notewriter: As someone who also a) lives in an apartment complex and b) works the night shift at a hospital, I’m surprised you haven’t figured out by now that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your schedule. The graveyard shift is already taking years off your life. How about you do everyone a favor and use some of that sweet shift differential to buy yourself a pair of earplugs?

related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

 

→ 49 CommentsFILED UNDER: neighbors · noise · sarcasm · sleeping · Sydney · you know who you are


Spoiled milk

June 18th, 2014 · 58 comments

“Kitchen warfare has become somewhat of a spectator sport around here,” says our submitter, of his office in Vancouver. Perhaps a Vegan Support Group is in order?

Drinking Dairyland milk supports animal cruelty! Look it up.

related: Texts from Obnoxious Vegan Girl

→ 58 CommentsFILED UNDER: milk · office


The wizardry of water

June 17th, 2014 · 39 comments

Jake in Vermont says that the sign of the left showed up after the sign on the right failed to get the job done. (And you thought you’d never put that high school chemistry to use!)

Ice will become liquid at room temperature so please refrain from discarding ice in the trash as well.

related: Right, I still don’t understand this water/ice thing

extra credit: Mr. Wizard = kind of a jerk [youtube]

→ 39 CommentsFILED UNDER: garbage · ice · It's science! · Vermont


Polite notice, terrible font

June 12th, 2014 · 128 comments

Rebecca in London spotted this notice in her boyfriend’s block of flats. “While it’s true you do notice washing machines running, they’re not that loud,” she says. “On the night of the note being ‘edited’, there was defiant laundry running at 11:30pm.”

Polite notice (TERRIBLE FONT) Let's be considerate neighbors

related: Lord of the Laundry Room

→ 128 CommentsFILED UNDER: "polite notice" · laundry · London · neighbors · noise · rebuttals


“I’m not creepy, I swear”

June 9th, 2014 · 85 comments

Writes our submitter in Texas: “We live on a military installation, where the housing is notoriously small and right on top of each other. We’ve gotten to know our neighbors very well, and the author of this note is most likely someone we consider a good friend.”

Dear #7- My wife wants me to tell you to tell your wife to stop

Our submitter humble-brags that yes, his wife is incredibly attractive, but insists that her clothing isn’t overtly “sexy” — tank tops and shorts, yes, but not crop tops and hot pants.  However, he says, “Since we discovered this on Friday, my wife has taken to wearing baggy t-shirts and sweatpants when she’s out in the yard. I don’t blame her one bit.”

Dear #7- My wife wants me to tell you to tell your wife to stop "dressing sexy" because it's offensive or something. Sorry but your wife is hot and I would appreciate it if she didn't bend to my wife's crazy jealousy. But if she asks feel free to tell her I asked her to dress "more appropriately!" I'm also jealous - that you get to hit that every night. Those kids are adopted, right?!?  - the neighbors   PS if your wife really wants to piss her off, tell her to wear that hot pink thing with the strings and the matching pink stripper shoes!!!   PPS I'm not creepy I swear, I just appreciate a fine looking woman when I see one!

Amping up the creepiness factor, our submitter adds that his wife DOES own a pair of pink shoes – but she’s never worn them outside the house.

related: (Don’t fear) the creeper

→ 85 CommentsFILED UNDER: a matter of taste · kinda creepy · military · neighbors · p.s. · sex sex sex · Texas


On Wednesdays we wear pink

June 5th, 2014 · 74 comments

Our submitter in Chicago found these notes were in her son’s 8th grade autograph book. “Only a few other students are going to the same high school that my son will be attending,” she writes. “These two girls are part of that group and seem eager to get on to the next year of flame-throwing. I thought the heart was a nice, passive-aggressive touch.”

Adds our submitter: “The weird thing is that these girls both appear to be so nice and docile in person.”

I don't really like you much so don't really have much fun in high school. Hope I don't see you at L.P. -Jessie   We are both going to L P so I am glad you didn't choose drama. I hope you are different in high school. Then maybe we could be friends. -Ileana

related: So much for “Have a nice summer, see you next  year”

→ 74 CommentsFILED UNDER: Chicago · heart · mean girls · schools & teachers · way harsh


Rotten heel, steel toes

June 1st, 2014 · 75 comments

One of Allison’s coworkers recently became convinced that one of the evening janitors had it in for her shoes — different shoes. On multiple occasions. “Needless to say,” Allison says, “she didn’t last much longer.”

Janitors don't ever put my shoes in the garbage. Your [sic] not nice.

 

I know who you are and you are evil to do this to my shoe and toss out the other one, you will be punished for this. You are disgusting creep O.K.. You will rot in hell.

Meanwhile, Kris in Alabama spotted this note on a locker at his place of business:

It's note nice to steel a Marine's boots. You can't hide.
related: Or I will CUT YOU

→ 75 CommentsFILED UNDER: Edmonton · I know who you are · office · spelling and grammar police · you're like so going to hell · your/you're


The ultimate grandparent guilt trip

May 28th, 2014 · 96 comments

“I haven’t had a close relationship with my grandparents since I graduated from college 14 years ago,” writes Lindsay in Nashville. “I only see them a couple of times a year, so it’s typically pretty awkward when we get together. I have nothing against them, but they haven’t been involved with my life in so long it’s almost like we’re acquaintances, rather than family.”

This masterpiece is what Lindsay received this year for her birthday.

Dear Lindsay, Hope you enjoy your birthday & that the check will help with that. As you know I am not doing too well, but before I die, I'd sure like to know why you dislike us. Thru the years we've tried to give you what we could, but I guess it wasn't enough.

Adds Lindsay: “They have written me, my sister and my mother out of their will multiple times — though we’re all reinstated now, as far as I know.”

related: Smack! Right in the feels.

→ 96 CommentsFILED UNDER: Grandma · guilt trip


Kiss my carbon footprint!

May 25th, 2014 · 47 comments

Writes our submitter in Cambridge, UK: “There’s a master’s student living in our shared student house — the kind who lives off hemp protein and lentils. Anyway, the house has an hallway running through the middle, with his room on one side and a landing on the other. This note appeared on the landing the other day. I think it has the perfect combination of smiley faces, violent threats, love and climate change.”

YO DIPSHITS! Turn the light off!!!* 1) It shines straight into my room, and wakes me up. 2) It releases CO2. You're killing us all with climate change for no fucking reason!!! Love and Big kisses! xxx ––– :)  *Notes are normally passive aggressive. This one is aggressive-aggressive. Do this again, and I shall cut you :)

related: Pure, unadulterated corporate greed! 

→ 47 CommentsFILED UNDER: Cambridge · energy usage · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · smiley · The Earth · U.K.