Our submitter, who works at a language school in France, isn’t 100% sure which one of the managers posted this on the staff board. However, there is one person he can think of who “has a fondness for long patronizing notes when a simple ‘please close the door’ would do.”
(just click the photo to enlarge)
related: Ceci n’est pas une porte
FILED UNDER: obnoxious definition · opening/closing · smartass · TL;DR
September 30th, 2012 · 67 comments
Emily in Texas remembers her parents being convinced she was most uncouth child ever born — they even sent her to etiquette school to clean up her act. Well, she got a rude reminder of those days when she found this birthday card in the back of her closet.
related: Happy Valentine’s Day from Mom
FILED UNDER: birthday · etiquette · Moms & Dads · spelling and grammar police · Texas
September 27th, 2012 · 70 comments
From a house full of roommates in Texas, our submitter calls this “a prime example of ‘dogs have owners, cats have staff.’”
related: Hendrix is the cat
FILED UNDER: cats · cleaning · roommates · vomit
September 26th, 2012 · 37 comments
Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!
Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”
related: My Secretary, Sybil
FILED UNDER: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching
September 25th, 2012 · 32 comments
At Ama’s office in Jacksonville, Florida, a friendly staff member brought a sweet treat to share. “This became too much for one anonymous coworker,” Ama says, “who maintained his or her strength under pressure long enough to leave this note.” (Honestly, as someone with a particular weakness for the sweet stuff myself…I kinda understand.)
This is a candy-optional office
FILED UNDER: cake · Jacksonville · office
September 24th, 2012 · 15 comments
I didn’t pay much attention to this bit of poetic propaganda until I noticed it was posted at an office in the United Kingdom. Is the awkward meter of the writing below Uncle Sam some kind a subtle comment on American imperialism, or just pure laziness? I suspect the latter, but I’d still be tempted to slap a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster on top.
related: The Vicar of Glibly
FILED UNDER: clip art catastrophe · dishes · office · pure poetry · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...
Writes our submitter in Canada: “This is my neighbour’s cat, Byron. He’s a lovely boy, but given the chance, he’ll steal into my apartment and scarf down my cats’ kibble. The other day Bryon visited sporting this new heart-shaped tag.”
Please stop feeding my cat!
FILED UNDER: British Columbia · cats · neighbors
September 20th, 2012 · 34 comments
This bullshit, from an office in Baltimore?
Or the unused-microwave-time version, from Claire’s office in Columbus, Ohio?
The Breakroom Nibbler
FILED UNDER: food · garbage · office fridge · pizza
September 18th, 2012 · 60 comments
Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen
Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?
FILED UNDER: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley
September 17th, 2012 · 41 comments
This heapsort arrived via an anonymous sender in Wellington, New Zealand. (Notice the menacing-looking knife at right…)
related: An ABP on the V8
FILED UNDER: confusion??? · New Zealand · office · smartass