George Clooney, breaker of hearts (and printers)

April 20th, 2012 · 35 comments

“My favorite part,” says our anonymous submitter: “THE DAMNING EVIDENCE, RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES!! Shame on you, you know who you are! Look how much trouble you caused! Enjoy bearing your shameful secret crush on George Clooney that breaks printers and wastes staff time!”

This print job jammed the copier. It took two staff 30 minutes to dissemble [sic] the fuser and remove the paper jam. Meanwhile [REDACTED] staff were frustrated that they were unable to print. As a reminder, [REDACTED] pays the [REDACTED] for every print, copy and fax made on the Pay Per Copy printers.

And on a related note…

PLEASE DO NOT PRINT LARGE JOBS

related: The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone.

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: message to all intended for one · office · the printer


The Countertop Snot Rocketer

April 18th, 2012 · 35 comments

Writes Brad in North Carolina: “This was in the bathroom at work, and I must have read it three or four times before admitting I didn’t have a clue what was happening.  The confusion could have been due to the grammar, the punctuation, or the notion that people blow their nose on the countertop (?!?).

Please Don't Blow your nose on Counter top here is tissue... Help your Self!!

Perhaps there’s a snot-rocketer on the loose?

Adds Brad: “In the day and a half since the note has been up, nobody has touched that roll of toilet paper.”

related: Hey, I was saving that for later!

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · hygiene · North Carolina · nose-picking · office · toilet paper


When frenemies attack

April 17th, 2012 · 90 comments

Well, girls, I’d say you have at least few things in common…unfortunately for the rest of us.

ATTN Roomies: You are jerks for locking me out of the room while I was in the shower. I hate you all. We have nothing in common anymore, and are officially no longer friends. That is all. -Caley

Dear Caley, We did that on purpose. We all secretly hate you. We have nothing in common. -Ayesha :) P.S. We're gonna do it again...

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

→ 90 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · heart · mean girls · roommates · smiley · Texas


Where’s God when you need a good copy editor?

April 16th, 2012 · 36 comments

Nick spotted this advertisement in his hometown newspaper, The County Journal, adding, “I have no idea what the residents of Cutler did to the Henson family.”

My Mom helped all Cutler families when they needed help but when we needed help Cutler families were no there, but God will take care of it. Nina Henson

related: My parents, the loan sharks

→ 36 CommentsFILED UNDER: God · Illinois · newspaper · runaway run-on sentences · small town living


Please excuse my cooties

April 15th, 2012 · 123 comments

Shar is a receptionist — and self-described germaphobe — working at a financial corporation in Toronto. The coworker who covers for her during lunch was sick this week, Shar says, and must have noticed that “when I return, I take it upon myself to Purell the crap out of my mouse, keyboard, desk surface and even pens. (I cannot afford to get sick.)”

Hey I know I have a cold and all but can you at least wait until I leave the room before you start sanitizing your whole desk. Its kinda mean. Hope you had a good lunch.

Adds Shar: “In my defense…I did think she was gone.”

related: My secretary, Sybil

→ 123 CommentsFILED UNDER: illness · office · Oops?


The medium is the message

April 12th, 2012 · 34 comments

I can’t speak for the food at the restaurant where Edwin works, but when it comes to this note from his boss, the irony is delicious.

Guest cks are NOT memo pads. Use scratch paper!

related: Please refrain from unintentional irony

→ 34 CommentsFILED UNDER: now that's management · restaurant · Texas


Welcome to Texas

April 10th, 2012 · 63 comments

…where Santa brings you bunny stationery and a shotgun in the same stocking!

I got a new Benelli SuperNova for Christmas. Keep jiggling my door handle and I will show it to you personally. Have a nice day!

related: The right to bear fruit

→ 63 CommentsFILED UNDER: Dallas/Fort Worth · have a nice day · neighbors · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats · Texas


This is not a pun.

April 9th, 2012 · 30 comments

“What evils might befall our university if someone posts a flyer on the bulletin board that says it isn’t a bulletin board?” asks our submitter in California. “I still don’t know, but at least this was amusing.”

THIS IS NOT A BULLETIN BOARD - DO NOT POST FLYERS  He's not flying any more...

related: Fly’s fishing clinic

→ 30 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · most popular notes of 2012


Praise the Lord and pass the sibling rivalry!

April 6th, 2012 · 38 comments

Kaylee in Colorado recently found this note when going through a box of old stuff at her parents’ house. At the time this was written, she says, “I would have been about 6 and my brother 10. I fought my boredom during our weekly visits to church by doodling and writing my mother notes.”

Dear Mom, PRAISE THE LORD!! I love you, and thank you for bringing me to praise the lord each day. I love the Lord. Thank you for marring dad and making Wesley and I brother and sister. But I think you should of had me first. Love, Kaylee PS on back

P.S. Kaylee says the “PS.” on the back was “let dad read note.”

related: Happy Passover, fatty!

→ 38 CommentsFILED UNDER: family · God · kids · siblings · signed with love


Well, that took an unexpected turn.

April 4th, 2012 · 81 comments

Stephanie in Las Vegas says this exchange started out as a sugary-sweet back-and-forth love-fest between initiated by her husband, Brian. Then, one day, Stephanie says, “Brian woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and his alter ego took over.” What a charmer, that Brian!

Not to worry, though— it was all in jest, and no women or toasters were harmed in the making of this note. In fact, Stephanie says, “It totally made my day.” And as far the unplugging the toaster thing goes, she says, “We kinda have an OCD thing about the chance of burning the house down…don’t ask.”

Thank you for my lunch baby!! Love you soooo much! Love you so much too! I miss your face! Unplug the toaster motherfucker! I hate you

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

extra credit: Knock Knock Fill-in-the-Blank Passive-Aggressive Note Pad

→ 81 CommentsFILED UNDER: heart · Las Vegas · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Say wha? · signed with love · that's a fire hazard · toaster