Writes Steph in Toronto: “Most of the notices posted in the elevator of my condo building are pretty standard (fire alarm drills, etc.) but this one’s special. It just raises so many questions: Was the milk expired? Were they throwing it at someone? How much milk are we talking about that it’s a ‘matter of public safety’? I need to know!”
May 25th, 2012 · 51 comments
May 21st, 2012 · 220 comments
Eric and I are still climbing stairs (now in Poland and Portugal, respectively), where we haven’t yet seen any similar signs. Back in the States, however, Christine in L.A. spotted this rather harsh version in the elevator of a 7-story university residence hall.
related: Buffalo, please use the elevator
May 19th, 2012 · 35 comments
The good news? Stealing sprinkles from this New Jersey yogurt shop won’t lead to eternal damnation!
Thanks to Lauren in Princeton, NJ for submitting!
related: Wrath of the Ancients
May 17th, 2012 · 72 comments
A few months ago, Christie in North Carolina joined a group on Meetup.com, but never found the time to attend any of the actual meetups. This, it seems, is a serious breach of Meetup netiquette. Recently, the group’s owner did Christie the favor of explaining why she was being kicked out of the group — for her own benefit, of course.
May 15th, 2012 · 29 comments
Explains Kevin in Los Angeles: ”The hospital basement has a corridor lined with call rooms assigned to the residents from various medical specialties. While the department of medicine easily surpasses all other specialties in number of reserved rooms, they have started squatting in other rooms as well. It looks like the psych residents were not pleased by this antisocial behavior.”
related: A little bit of psycho-therapy
May 14th, 2012 · 42 comments
Nicola in Edinburgh woke up and opened the shades one morning to discover this message from the flat directly across the street. “After all my flatmates were questioned about what they have been up to last night, we decided it must be the flat next to ours,” she says.
related: The Devil’s Orchestra
May 10th, 2012 · 60 comments
Well, this is a new one.
“Just…wow,” says our submitter in Springfield, Illinois. “I’ve never been told that I have to assess my the consistency of my fecal matter prior to it leaving my body.”
related: How you say diarrhea politely?
May 8th, 2012 · 28 comments
Ashley says the elevator in this downtown Columbus parking garage has been out of commission for over a week now, forcing those on the upper levels to (egads!) use the stairs.
“The stairwell is, admittedly, quite unpleasant, and is occasionally home to pools of urine,” Ashley says. “But as someone who has never used the elevator for the year that I have been parking there, it’s hard for me to muster sympathy for the writer’s supposed urine-soaked hems. Perhaps he or she should invest in a tailor?”
Meanwhile, the people who share this employee parking garage in Los Angeles seem to have become resigned to their fate.
As Candice explains, “There used to be a piece of tape holding the first floor button so it wouldn’t get stuck on random floors. After the city inspector come in, the tape disappeared and instead it was declared (indefinitely) ‘out of service.’”
related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
May 7th, 2012 · 30 comments
“While stopping for our millionth potty break,” a road-tripping Rachel from Atlanta pondered the circumstances that could have inspired this intolerable discombobulation at a Tennessee gas station. “I don’t know what happened,” she says, “but that’s a hell of a lot of exclamation marks!!!”
p.s. dis·com·bob·u·la·tion, noun — confusion: a feeling of embarrassment that leaves you confused
related: Pain (and disgust) at the pump
May 5th, 2012 · 30 comments
Pat in London works for a large office, where, unfortunately for the many java addicts on staff, the coffeemaker has a habit of breaking down. Also, Pat says, “It’s an advertising agency, so there are lots of grammar pedants.” The result?