Nicola in Edinburgh woke up and opened the shades one morning to discover this message from the flat directly across the street. “After all my flatmates were questioned about what they have been up to last night, we decided it must be the flat next to ours,” she says.
related: The Devil’s Orchestra
FILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · Scotland · sex sex sex
Well, this is a new one.
“Just…wow,” says our submitter in Springfield, Illinois. “I’ve never been told that I have to assess my the consistency of my fecal matter prior to it leaving my body.”
related: How you say diarrhea politely?
FILED UNDER: Illinois · most popular notes of 2012 · shit · toilet
Ashley says the elevator in this downtown Columbus parking garage has been out of commission for over a week now, forcing those on the upper levels to (egads!) use the stairs.
“The stairwell is, admittedly, quite unpleasant, and is occasionally home to pools of urine,” Ashley says. “But as someone who has never used the elevator for the year that I have been parking there, it’s hard for me to muster sympathy for the writer’s supposed urine-soaked hems. Perhaps he or she should invest in a tailor?”
Meanwhile, the people who share this employee parking garage in Los Angeles seem to have become resigned to their fate.
As Candice explains, “There used to be a piece of tape holding the first floor button so it wouldn’t get stuck on random floors. After the city inspector come in, the tape disappeared and instead it was declared (indefinitely) ‘out of service.’”
related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
FILED UNDER: elevator · now that's management · piss
“While stopping for our millionth potty break,” a road-tripping Rachel from Atlanta pondered the circumstances that could have inspired this intolerable discombobulation at a Tennessee gas station. “I don’t know what happened,” she says, “but that’s a hell of a lot of exclamation marks!!!”
p.s. dis·com·bob·u·la·tion, noun — confusion: a feeling of embarrassment that leaves you confused
related: Pain (and disgust) at the pump
FILED UNDER: exclamation-point happy!!!! · gas station · Tennessee
Pat in London works for a large office, where, unfortunately for the many java addicts on staff, the coffeemaker has a habit of breaking down. Also, Pat says, “It’s an advertising agency, so there are lots of grammar pedants.” The result?
related: Just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee
FILED UNDER: coffee · London · note wars · office · smartass · spelling and grammar police
Ashley in Sheffield received this lovely belated birthday card from a neighbo(u)r.
(Nicely done, Laura.)
related: If you were the one who was so drunk or so stupid…
FILED UNDER: birthday · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · sleeping · thanks (but not really) · U.K.
Matt and his girlfriend were taking a stroll through her parents’ neighborhood (of mostly-legal manor homes?) when they came across this pile of aging newspapers.
“We thought it was good of the employer to be willing to give the delivery boy a chance to explain himself,” Matt says. “However, the sign remains.”
related: What’s black, white, and totally over?
extra credit: Arrested Downton
FILED UNDER: I know who you are · newspaper · now that's management · Oregon
She likes her humor like she likes her cactus: dry.
related: “Just feed me to the cat.”
FILED UNDER: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · most popular notes of 2012 · office · thanks (but not really)
Kelli in North Dakota says one of her neighbors plastered the entire building with these notes, directed to a certain wannabe baseball player/bull rider/oral cancer patient.
(Some not-so-fun facts: At 15.3%, North Dakota has the second-highest rate in the country of tobacco-chewing high schoolers. Among North Dakotan adult males, about 1 in 10 chews.)
Meanwhile, here in Texas, submitter Katie is unsure whether her neighbors’ cars are being pelted with the likes of Copenhagen or queso. (In Texas, it really could go either way.)
related: My garbage can is not your spit cup.
FILED UNDER: God · neighbors · North Dakota · not-so-veiled threats · Texas · thanks (but not really)
Kayla says this message was left in the dorm laundry room after a girl’s clothes disappeared.
(I can just see the snarky follow-ups now…”Awesome! Free goldfish!”)
related: To the asshole that stole all of my underwear…
FILED UNDER: college life · laundry · Ohio · stealing · warning