Where’s God when you need a good copy editor?

April 16th, 2012 · 36 comments

Nick spotted this advertisement in his hometown newspaper, The County Journal, adding, “I have no idea what the residents of Cutler did to the Henson family.”

My Mom helped all Cutler families when they needed help but when we needed help Cutler families were no there, but God will take care of it. Nina Henson

related: My parents, the loan sharks

→ 36 CommentsFILED UNDER: God · Illinois · newspaper · runaway run-on sentences · small town living


Please excuse my cooties

April 15th, 2012 · 123 comments

Shar is a receptionist — and self-described germaphobe — working at a financial corporation in Toronto. The coworker who covers for her during lunch was sick this week, Shar says, and must have noticed that “when I return, I take it upon myself to Purell the crap out of my mouse, keyboard, desk surface and even pens. (I cannot afford to get sick.)”

Hey I know I have a cold and all but can you at least wait until I leave the room before you start sanitizing your whole desk. Its kinda mean. Hope you had a good lunch.

Adds Shar: “In my defense…I did think she was gone.”

related: My secretary, Sybil

→ 123 CommentsFILED UNDER: illness · office · Oops?


The medium is the message

April 12th, 2012 · 34 comments

I can’t speak for the food at the restaurant where Edwin works, but when it comes to this note from his boss, the irony is delicious.

Guest cks are NOT memo pads. Use scratch paper!

related: Please refrain from unintentional irony

→ 34 CommentsFILED UNDER: now that's management · restaurant · Texas


Welcome to Texas

April 10th, 2012 · 63 comments

…where Santa brings you bunny stationery and a shotgun in the same stocking!

I got a new Benelli SuperNova for Christmas. Keep jiggling my door handle and I will show it to you personally. Have a nice day!

related: The right to bear fruit

→ 63 CommentsFILED UNDER: Dallas/Fort Worth · have a nice day · neighbors · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats · Texas


This is not a pun.

April 9th, 2012 · 30 comments

“What evils might befall our university if someone posts a flyer on the bulletin board that says it isn’t a bulletin board?” asks our submitter in California. “I still don’t know, but at least this was amusing.”

THIS IS NOT A BULLETIN BOARD - DO NOT POST FLYERS  He's not flying any more...

related: Fly’s fishing clinic

→ 30 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · most popular notes of 2012


Praise the Lord and pass the sibling rivalry!

April 6th, 2012 · 38 comments

Kaylee in Colorado recently found this note when going through a box of old stuff at her parents’ house. At the time this was written, she says, “I would have been about 6 and my brother 10. I fought my boredom during our weekly visits to church by doodling and writing my mother notes.”

Dear Mom, PRAISE THE LORD!! I love you, and thank you for bringing me to praise the lord each day. I love the Lord. Thank you for marring dad and making Wesley and I brother and sister. But I think you should of had me first. Love, Kaylee PS on back

P.S. Kaylee says the “PS.” on the back was “let dad read note.”

related: Happy Passover, fatty!

→ 38 CommentsFILED UNDER: family · God · kids · siblings · signed with love


Well, that took an unexpected turn.

April 4th, 2012 · 81 comments

Stephanie in Las Vegas says this exchange started out as a sugary-sweet back-and-forth love-fest between initiated by her husband, Brian. Then, one day, Stephanie says, “Brian woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and his alter ego took over.” What a charmer, that Brian!

Not to worry, though— it was all in jest, and no women or toasters were harmed in the making of this note. In fact, Stephanie says, “It totally made my day.” And as far the unplugging the toaster thing goes, she says, “We kinda have an OCD thing about the chance of burning the house down…don’t ask.”

Thank you for my lunch baby!! Love you soooo much! Love you so much too! I miss your face! Unplug the toaster motherfucker! I hate you

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

extra credit: Knock Knock Fill-in-the-Blank Passive-Aggressive Note Pad

→ 81 CommentsFILED UNDER: heart · Las Vegas · love & marriage · most popular notes of 2012 · Say wha? · signed with love · that's a fire hazard · toaster


Thank you for ruining for my life.

April 3rd, 2012 · 19 comments

Shanna spotted this note of appreciation outside the room of an resident advisor in her freshman dorm. ”And yes,” she says, “he actually did get in bed with someone’s girlfriend.”

Jeff, Thank you for getting in bed with my girlfriend. You ruined my life.

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

→ 19 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · faint praise · RA · thanks (but not really)


Your new favorite band: Larceny of Electric Power

April 2nd, 2012 · 51 comments

“The Winston Salem Transit Authority posted this memo in their depressing, dingy, bus depot,” reports Bill in North Carolina. (The WSTA‘s new motto: “Kick ’em while they’re down!)

If Security Officers see you charging your cell phone, you can and will be banned from WSTA premises for Larceny of Electric Power.

related: Your knees are pressing into my repressed rage

→ 51 CommentsFILED UNDER: cell phone · North Carolina · public transit · warning · Winston-Salem · WTF?


How to deal with a chronically messy roommate once and for all

April 1st, 2012 · 19 comments

The strategic box placement — in what appears to be a minefield of dog turds — is bad enough. But the really passive-aggressive part? Apparently, the box wasn’t taped shut on the bottom.

Since you were too busy to clean anything before you moved out, I thought I'd save you a few trips up the stairs for the rest of your stuff. You're welcome!

related: “I don’t miss them.” 

→ 19 CommentsFILED UNDER: cleaning · Idaho · moving/not moving · roommates