Scapegoat of the Sea

May 12th, 2014 · 35 comments

Joanna in Boston says this started with “have a blessed day,” and has continued to escalate from there.

Please wash sink when you dump food, especially tuna fish. It reeks. HAVE A BLESSED DAY! Three most wanted tuna offenders. I feel discriminated against. I have good taste. Please note: Mary did not write this note. Mary is not passive-aggressive.  -Mary

related: Fish cookies, anyone?

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · fish · office · public shaming · rebuttals


You may not be stylish or chic, but Mom loves you anyway

May 7th, 2014 · 46 comments

“My mom mistakenly picked up a birthday card for my sister’s graduation,” writes our submitter in Canada. “The real gold, of course, is in what she decided to cross out.”

Love you just the way you are. Happy Graduation. Love Mom + Dad

related: For the conditionally beautiful bride

→ 46 CommentsFILED UNDER: Canada · faint praise · Mother-daughter notes


Jock block

May 5th, 2014 · 52 comments

Michael in Las Vegas went to pick up his mail today and spotted this cocky little note:

Whoever has my package that was delivered Wednesday April 23.....I hope you are enjoying my athletic supporter. It's to protect your balls....which obviously you have none! [sic]

related: Your ultra charmin’ neighbor

→ 52 CommentsFILED UNDER: Las Vegas · neighbors · stealing


Prison? Or the prison or hurt feelings? You decide.

April 30th, 2014 · 20 comments

Sarah in Philadelphia calls this note, from a much-beloved bookstall at the Reading Terminal Market, “the single most adorable and passive aggressive note I have ever read in my life.”

If u do not abide by the rules you will be confined to the prison of hurt feelings for ever

Meanwhile, as Jenna shows us with this sign from an Albuquerque Antiques Mall, the “adorable” approach doesn’t work for everyone.

If you steal here you may just die here theives [sic] beware I hate you!!!!

related: May you get a seriously itchy bum!

→ 20 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · i before e


Curious sign is curious

April 29th, 2014 · 76 comments

Any Portlanders know the story behind this sign? Our submitter, Sarah, is wondering, and now I am, too.

This is not a Japanese restaurant. You should slap the fool that told you those lies.

Aaaaand we have an answer. Thanks, Misti!

related: raw chicken + orgasms = ?

→ 76 CommentsFILED UNDER: Portland · restaurant · WTF?


Microwave Business: A Story of Teamwork

April 21st, 2014 · 81 comments

Writes our submitter in Washington, DC: “In my time at my job, the only real evacuations we’ve had are for the Virginia Earthquake, and, now, a microwave popcorn incident. While another floor was responsible, multiple members of my department took this as an opportunity to make statements about the frequent state of our very own sad microwave. I think this is a fine example of how a committed team can work together to create a masterpiece.”

Oh my, the popcorn fire photo of shame!

(just click the photo above to enlarge)

related: Especially Deborah

→ 81 CommentsFILED UNDER: D.C. · microwave · popcorn · that's a fire hazard


A wife of noble character…does all the dishes?

April 16th, 2014 · 97 comments

Writes Julia, a student at an evangelical university in Indiana: “In our graduate student offices, there are more crusty dishes and microbial communities to be found than in the labs next door. After four weeks of mugs, oatmeal bowls and lunch containers had built up, one lad took the most effective course of action and posted this encouraging note for us single ladies to know what it takes to catch ourselves a guy just like him.”

A wife of noble character, who can find?... She sets about her work vigorously; her arms strong for the tasks... She watches over the affairs [dishes] of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31 selections, NIV

related: Life at a Christian college

→ 97 CommentsFILED UNDER: battle of the sexes · dishes · God


You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

April 14th, 2014 · 106 comments

Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over?

Missing: Three All Beef Hot Dogs

related: A bitter butter battle

→ 106 CommentsFILED UNDER: food · non-apology apology · office · St. Louis


The nicest possible way

April 8th, 2014 · 63 comments

Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with?

I am going to say this in the nicest possible way: Who is the stupid idiot that keeps putting cans of soda and bottles of water in the freezer? Stop doing this. I am tired of cleaning up the messes you make!

I mean, this guy even said please.

Do NOT put cans of soda in the freezer!!!! They explode and get all over people's food! Please do not put them in the freezer!

(Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)

 

related: Ice Box-ing

→ 63 CommentsFILED UNDER: beverages · Coke · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office fridge


No, not the stink eye!

April 3rd, 2014 · 25 comments

Writes our submitter in Leeds: “I enjoy the fact that a second piece of paper had to be added to express the full rage of this (presumably wet-footed) person.”

To the guy who pissed in the lift on Sunday Morning, You are DISGUSTING! I hope you woke up with a massive hangover and are now hanging your head in shame that the lovely people of A block were unknowingly walking your urine around, and undoubtedly into their flats! I may not have fully seen your face, but your navy shift and hair cut should hopefully allow me to recognize you, and give you a look of shame at your disgusting behavior! Use a toilet next time, it's not hard.

related: Lift or Loo?

→ 25 CommentsFILED UNDER: drizzunk · elevator · piss · public shaming · that's disgusting · U.K.