writes leslie in london: “janine was having some serious keyboard RAGE and posted this request to our office’s online help desk…which every single person in the company can see…including daniel.”

this post is dedicated to my cube-mate leah, who recently received a surprise “gift” — a quiet-touch keyboard — from our boss, which succeeded in making her feel even more self-conscious about her “loud typing.” (sadly, she observed, the IT department has no solution for the cringe-inducing sound our fellow coworker who insists on clipping her nails at her desk.)

related: suck on this!

shannon in new york saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for.

the thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.

related: the right to bear fruit

exhibit a) from a share house of would-be flip-cup players in garfield heights, ohio (!!!)

exhibit b) from an office in dallas. writes our anonymous submitter: “everyone in the building knew who was trashing the bathroom, but no one ever confronted the guy directly about it. after about a year, this note went up.” (not surprisingly, it didn’t work.) finally, our submitter says, the building engineer went directly to the guy’s boss to, um, clarify the situation further.

and then there’s exhibit c) from a restaurant in delaware

related: that means pants + shirts as a single unit

another sign of the times: nick in tampa, florida says the sodas in his small office used to be free, but now they cost 50 cents. and yet, when they’re left out “unguarded and unsecured, naturally, people steal them,” nick says. eventually, one coworker thought instilling the fear of god would make for a good theft-deterrent…which inspired another coworker to quote scripture in protest of the new drink policy.

related: no, He uses vaseline

“replace the roll“? fair enough. any special requests after that, though, i’m not so sure about. as our submitter in lexington, kentucky writes: “does that extra .34-second step really cause your day to go so horribly?”

on the flipside…don’t flush ‘em, i understand. but…really, ladies? as our submitter in orlando put it: “i don’t know what scares me more: the fact that this was a problem, or the fact that my employers had professional signs made up to deter people from doing it.”

related: a filthy hap pit

this little water fountain with big dreams was spotted by elizabeth in a college dorm in indianapolis. the illegible signature is a nice touch, no?

related: i eat dirty plates

carmen in washington, d.c. says she and her roommates suffered for months at the hands of this “crazy, obsessive-compulsive who made our lives miserable.” by the end of the fall semester, carmen says, the house was a near-war zone, and the girl finally moved out. “around the time she was packing up her things, we decorated for the holidays and cleaned up a bit. see was livid, and accused us of waiting to clean up until then because we had been trying to drive her from the house with the mess.” (hmm…how would you classify that sort of behavior?)

a week later, carmen and her roommates received this card. enclosed: one house key, and one hearty holiday dose of condescension.

(the front of the card)

related: way harsh, tai

today’s post is dedicated to the dirty minds in the department of double entendres. (hey there, commenters!)

this first note, as spotted by dana in san francisco, needs no further introduction.

next up: michelle in orlando says this note posted on the employee mailboxes at the theme park where she works. “our uniforms include a vest made of wool,” michelle explains, “and when the vests get wet they smell (fittingly) like wet animal.”

related: covering all the bases