“these are the results of your typical no-one-washes-their-dishes-at-the-office situation,” says our submitter in portland, oregon.

“there used to be a note above the sink that said “NOT YOUR MAMA,” but it was replaced with these gems, both of which sort of creep me out (and neither of which has ameliorated the dirty dish issue).”

meanwhile, elsewhere in oregon…

today’s facebook friday submission comes from an anonymous onlooker in college park, maryland. (read from the bottom up.)

related: i challenge you to an emoticon-off!

i’d say this whiteboard notice — from a student at northwestern university in evanston, illinois — is neck-and-neck with this for “most unnecessary and inappropriate analogy ever.”

‘plex, by the way, refers to (in the words of our anonymous submitter, the note’s recipient) a northwestern residence hall, foster walker complex, “that’s full of disinterested seniors and minorities.”

(sigh.)

change is on the way?

related: just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee

technically, mike in boston only has two roommates, but roomie #2’s ever-present girlfriend has become the apartment’s de facto fourth resident…the non-rent-or-utilities-paying kind.

explains mike: “we only have one thermostat for the whole apartment, but our rooms are so tiny that we can typically keep the heat off and the place stays at 68-70 degrees.” once winter came, however, the girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with this arrangement…and took to surreptitiously cranking up the heat into the mid-80s.

after one too many nights of waking up in a sauna, mike and his allied roommate decided to fight back —in true passive-aggressive style — by removing the (detachable) thermostat from the wall.

drama, of course, ensued.

mike’s roomie then posted a counter-attack:

grammar aside, that one pretty much did the trick.

related: kill hamster too?

sigh. half the people in your department just got pink-slipped, your 401(k) is worth shit, and now, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…they’re coming for your muffin, too.

all in the name of shareholder value!

(leaked by sayf in greenwich, connecticut.)

related: lean cuisine
extra credit: morgan stanley cancels christmas, jobs [dealbreaker]

“as a college student used to her freedom, i’m sometimes gone for days at a time when i’m home for the summer,” explains jesse from gurnee, illinois, admitting that during this time, her betta fish, freddie mercury, tends to go unfed.

“my 14-year old-sister has shown him mercy a a few times,” jesse says, and admirably, “she’s never asked for thanks.” but freddie, it seems, has had just about enough of this neglect.

related: through a glass bowl, darkly
extra credit: “you can call me the manatee!” [youtube]