Unthightly and unsymphatetic

November 12th, 2013 · 62 comments

Alrighty, folks. Yesterday’s “millennial-bashing” post seemed to stir up outdoor-cat levels of ire, so I think it’s time for a day of healing. I’ll even set aside the issue of “passive-aggressive” vs. “just straightforward aggressive.” Cheap laughs for all, courtesy of Sarah in Providence and Peter in New York!

PLEASE CLOSE DOOR  THIGHTLY AT ALL TIMES. BETTER SAFE THEM SORRY.

'Gentlements' be 'symphatetic enough' not to use: 'ladies restroom' thanks management

related: “Employees” must “wash hands” with “soap”

→ 62 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"


This is why people hate the Millennials

November 11th, 2013 · 291 comments

Writes our submitter, a college student in Colorado who I would really like to smack some sense into: “We had a change in professors midway through the semester in my fiction workshop. The new professor does not understand that his class is not the absolute most important thing in the universe.”

(just click the image below to enlarge)

Rather than write a lengthy explanation of why it is a bad idea to come to my class without reading the material, or why typing away on your laptop or checking FB while I am speaking (or worse, while yours peers are leading discussion) is rude, I decided instead just to thank those of you who consistently come into class prepared and enthusiastic.

related: So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

→ 291 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · college life · Colorado · kids today · most popular notes of 2013


Not cool, dudebro

November 7th, 2013 · 104 comments

The only think Derek — I’m sorry, “Dman” — had to say about this note was, “i live with some girls, and one is pretty funny.” Something tells that “funny ha ha” isn’t what comes to his roommates’ minds when mopping up Derek’s puddles of urine.

Derek, Peeing IN the toilet bowl is a non-negotiable part of having indoor plumbing; if you don't like aiming, go outside.

related: The Piddler on the Roof

→ 104 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · most popular notes of 2013 · New York · piss · roommates


La petite mort du poulet

November 5th, 2013 · 50 comments

Melissa in Ontario received this note — attached to a raw chicken breast and wrapped in plastic wrap — pushed through her mail slot several years ago. To this day, she says, “I’ve never been able to figure out what I did that was so horrible/distracting that it ruined the best orgasm of someone’s life and also what raw chicken has to do with it.”

Thanks for ruining the best orgasm of my life!

related: Down and dirty down under

→ 50 CommentsFILED UNDER: Ontario · sex sex sex · thanks (but not really) · WTF?


I EARNED THIS.

November 4th, 2013 · 75 comments

Explains David in California: “Because of an ant problem, Julia can’t keep her candy in her room.” Thus…

If anyone eats my candy I will kill them. Seriously, stop. I didn't get very much candy and I had a terrible Halloween filled with sickness. Eat your own candy. I earned this. FIND YOUR HUMANITY.

related: There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

→ 75 CommentsFILED UNDER: candy · Halloween · most popular notes of 2013


Drivers of Walmart

November 1st, 2013 · 60 comments

Sarah spotted this lovely handpainted sign just down the street from Walmart in a small town in Washington state.

Slow down dumbass. WalMart is open 24 hours!

Meanwhile, in another small town across the country, Megan in Virginia spotted this car in her local Walmart parking lot.

A 'man' driver did this!

related: That means you young man in the blue Subaru!!

→ 60 CommentsFILED UNDER: car · driving · most popular notes of 2013 · small town living


Happy Hallow— oh.

October 30th, 2013 · 77 comments

Well then.

Happy Hallow— oh.

related: NO CANDY GO AWAY!

→ 77 CommentsFILED UNDER: Halloween · most popular notes of 2013


Begging for a backstory

October 28th, 2013 · 38 comments

Carolyn and her husband were intrigued by this message on a car they spotted at a roadside farmer’s market in Maryland. “We desperately wanted to know who the driver was and who wrote it,” Carolyn says. “Unfortunately, we never got to see either before we left.”

Bad Driver good girlfriend tho

So, what do you imagine the story is here?

related: What does your car say about you?

→ 38 CommentsFILED UNDER: driving · Maryland · public shaming


WiBuy Local?

October 24th, 2013 · 68 comments

“Foster’s Market in Chapel Hill, North Carolina is a pretty popular place right off a college campus,” says our submitter, Hope. “Lots of students come in, maybe get a coffee and sit for hours using the free wireless without buying anything else.” In response, the owners recently changed the name of the WiFi network. Gets the point across, no?

Our wireless network is called 'BUY A SANDWICH' and does not require a password

related: Passive-Aggressive WiFi

→ 68 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · most popular notes of 2013 · North Carolina · restaurant


(Cat) Lady of the Night

October 22nd, 2013 · 95 comments

Dear late-night cat: plz discipline ur lady. kthxbai.

A MESSAGE TO THE LATE NIGHT CAT LADY  1. DO YOU REALLY THINK STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AT 1 AM AND CALLING IN A HIGH, LOUD VOICE IS THE BEST WAY TO BRING HOME YOUR CAT?  2. DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR CAT CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE AND NOT YOUR NEIGHBORS?  3. DO YOU IMAGINE YOUR NEIGHBORS ENJOY YOU WAKING THEM FROM SLEEP AT 12, 1, OR 2 AM ON A NEARLY DAILY BASIS?  SUGGESTIONS: 1. BRING YOUR CAT IN BEFORE 10 PM.  2. REALIZE THAT YOUR VOICE CARRIES AND THE HOUSES ON THIS STREET ARE CLOSE TOGETHER.  3. CONSIDER GETTING A DIFFERENT PET - MAYBE A GOLDFISH.

related: Please walk your elephant quietly!

→ 95 CommentsFILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · noise · Oakland