on second thought…maybe i’ll go home and take a bath

August 18th, 2009 · 117 comments

are you enjoying the last few weeks of swimmin’ pool season, kids? tom in fayetteville, arkansas was…until he saw the 11th commandment posted nearby.

the 11th commandment

and if that doesn’t make you want to suit up and dive in…

pool closed

related: maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler

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→ 117 CommentsFILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · that's unsanitary


an evening of congenial abnormality

August 17th, 2009 · 135 comments

alexandra in renton, washington received this invitation from a former supervisor at a hospital. “rumors had been circulating that she and another supervisor had a personality clash, and then recently an email was distributed indicating that her position had been terminated.”

this note gets of to a roaring with start with the mention of “12 years, the first ten of them terrific,” and the “come hear all about it” seems to portend some seriously juicy trash-talking. adds alexandra: “i wouldn’t miss this party for the world.”

an evening of congenial abnormality

related: you were warned never to push carrie to the limits

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→ 135 CommentsFILED UNDER: farewell letter · fired · malapropism · washington


daddy’s little smartass

August 16th, 2009 · 46 comments

nick in florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” he quickly pulled out his iphone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

fuck you, chelsea :)

meanwhile, lisa in maryland spotted this in front of a small computer store near her office.

daddy's little smartass

children are such a blessing!

related: and pull up your sign

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→ 46 CommentsFILED UNDER: car · florida · kids · maryland · moms & dads · smartass · smiley


a new twist on the walk of shame

August 13th, 2009 · 125 comments

ah, college. you’d think living in an all-girls dorm might solve problems like this…

ah, college

ah, college

but then you get…this. explains hannah in pullman, washington: “i live in an all-girls dorm, and guys aren’t allowed to use the bathrooms in the hall. the rule is they are supposed to be escorted out into the lobby…which is a apparently too long of a walk for some people.”

Raining urine-filled bottles of gatorade 2

related: (it wasn’t me)

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→ 125 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · piss · roommates · sex sex sex · that shit is disgusting · that's unsanitary · university


textbook dmitri

August 12th, 2009 · 182 comments

k, so court in michigan met this guy out at a bar. he seemed harmless enough, but court knew right he wasn’t her type. still, she didn’t have the heart to give him a flat-out “no” when he asked for her number. (she couldn’t give him a fake one, either, ’cause he the did the “dial his number into the phone and call” thing.)

says court: “the first time he called, i talked to him and decided right then i definitely wasn’t interested.” by the end of the conversation, she figured he’d gotten the message…but then he kept calling. and then, texting. when she didn’t respond, court says, “i assumed he’d take the hint…but i’m not too sure he did.” um, yeah, you could say that.

textbook dmitri

related: not a match

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→ 182 CommentsFILED UNDER: battle of the sexes · just not that into you · michigan · oh no you didn't · text message · unsolicited feedback


the bathroom-stall booger epidemic

August 11th, 2009 · 139 comments

who knew? apparently, every office has at least one person with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall.

from florida:

boogermeister

from georgia:

Toilet paper is for boogers.

from a hospital (!) in washington, d.c.

the bathroom-stall booger epidemic

and another hospital in pennsylvania:

the bathroom-stall booger epidemic
from utah:

Pick and Flick

from montana:

the bathroom-stall booger epidemic

from california:

the bathroom-stall booger epidemic

from minnesota:

No boogers on the walls

from texas:

the bathroom-stall booger epidemic

from ohio:
No really... it's art.

and even in denmark:

[submitter katrine's rough translation: won't you be kind and wipe your boogers off in a piece of toilet paper instead of on the walls/kind regards the janitor]

won't you be so kind as to NOT WIPE YOUR BOOGERS ON THE WALL?

related: wait, what was the first reason again?

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→ 139 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · nose-picking · office · that shit is disgusting


why facebook is sooo gonna get you fired

August 10th, 2009 · 162 comments

even more dangerous than friending your parents on facebook? friending a) your boss and b) the cubicle-mate you kinda can’t stand.

exhibit a)
facebook is soooo gonna get your ass fired

exhibit b)

Whoops! Forgot I friended you!

exhibit c)

get off facebook, por favor

exhibit d) via “the internet”

facebook is sooo gonna get your ass fired

related: busted by facebook

extra credit: study says facebook is like totally ruining your life …and gonna get you fired [mashable]

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→ 162 CommentsFILED UNDER: facebook · office


al gore knows you’re a little tease

August 9th, 2009 · 104 comments

caroline sends this delightful trio of holier-than-thou notes from “a rather famous university in scotland where many students and staff have illusions of grandeur.”

the first  note was spotted, caroline says, while exiting a building “where many people work late and lights are almost always burning to help us find our way through the maze of corridors. “i found these stuck to just about every light switch in the vicinity. luckily, i snapped a picture as the next day they were all crumpled into balls and thrown on the floor in what i assume was a protest against sexualising light switches.”

al gore knows you're a cock tease

(”next time,” she adds, “i will make sure my light switch is fully satisfied before I leave.”)

the second note, caroline says, “is posted in a building where, due to the age of the pipes, the water is filled with lead and unsafe to drink, meaning water coolers are conveniently posted on most floors. i know we are a biology building and we have to care about the environment and blah blah blah, but while we are doing our world-saving research, would it be ok if we just had a cup of water that isn’t going to kill us?” [ed. note: yes, the note-writer has a point.]

well, the jackass has a point

the final note is posted next to the door leading to one of the outside smoking areas. “unfortunately,” caroline says, “it tends to have the opposite effect than intend. everytime i see it, i find myself having to sneak one in.”

well, i hadn't, until you mentioned it...

moral of the story this website: even if you’re on the most solid moral/ethical/logical/legal ground, writing an snotty note about it will backfire on you more often than not. [insert maniacal emoticon]

related: al gore knows you know drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

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→ 104 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · anthropomorphism · double-entendre alert · energy usage · scotland · the earth · university