Due to some recent stressful events, Daniel in Brisbane recently started smoking cigarettes again after 10 years of going without. “To avoid embarassing questions from people I know, I take steps to avoid smelling like cigarette smoke,” he says — including leaving work and parking next to a rail line, on the opposite side of any residential buildings. (Admittedly, a wee bit shady.)
Well, somebody noticed. Daniel found this note on his windshield.
related: Blowing smoke
FILED UNDER: Australia · smoking · Won't somebody think of the children?
Spotted at a wedding in Texas. Says our submitter, “The food was BBQ. The DJ never made the announcement for seconds.”
related: The bride will be accepting gifts
FILED UNDER: food · Texas · weddings and bridezillas
A Connecticut man was arrested last night for allegedly slicing a watermelon in a passive-aggressive manner. According to the police report, the woman said she felt the man was resorting to “passive-aggressive” tactics to “intimidate her because he is angry at her.” According to the Register-Citizen:
The woman…was greeted by the sight of a watermelon, pierced by Cervillino’s large butcher knife, sitting on the kitchen counter top, police said. Cervillino walked in seconds later, and without saying anything, began slicing pieces of the watermelon.
Now, this site is notoriously loose in our working definition of “passive-aggressive,” but I’d call that just plain menacing. How about you?
(Thanks to Matt in D.C. for tipping us off to the story, and to Michael Kappel on Flickr for the photo!)
related: “Watermelon, watermelon, mofo, watermelon” will not work anymore
FILED UNDER: Connecticut · more aggressive than passive
Our submitter lives in a group of eight cottages in Alameda, California. She writes: “One of my neighbors, Mark, has a lemon tree and he always tells everyone to ‘Help themselves!’ However, last week, someone took the last lemon — which really upset Mark. A couple hours later, we noticed what looked like a peach on the lemon tree.”
related: The right to bear fruit
FILED UNDER: California · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors
Writes Kate in Pensacola, Florida: “There’s a new subdivision going up near me, and the farmer next door is NOT happy about it.”
(And then, of course, there’s the city version…)
related: Oh, the rancher and the McMansioner should be friends
FILED UNDER: Florida · horses, cows, & chickens
Kyle didn’t even want to open the card he got from his grandma for his 20th birthday, because he knew he was in for something more than $5 bill. “The week prior was my family reunion, and my dad decided not to go — and not to inform my grandma ahead of time,” Kyle says. Grandma decided to use Kyle’s birthday card to make her feelings about this clear.
related: Thanks, Grandma. Really.
FILED UNDER: birthday · Grandma · guilt trip · Minnesota · sad face
Jaime and her husband live in a different state from her in-laws, but she’s not giving him a free pass. “To be honest, he really doesn’t call them as often as he should,” she says.
related: Better late than never?
FILED UNDER: guilt trip · Moms & Dads
Although John in Oklahoma City is used to the office bathroom being papered with commentary from his coworkers, he found the imagery of this note to be…especially vivid.
related: A diarrhea only toilet?
FILED UNDER: office · Oklahoma · shit · toilet
William in Sydney spotted this note on the notice board of an apartment block he was visiting. If you’re going to tackle a DIY project, I reckon that Saturday morning is as good a time as any, no?
Confidential to the notewriter: As someone who also a) lives in an apartment complex and b) works the night shift at a hospital, I’m surprised you haven’t figured out by now that the world doesn’t revolve around you and your schedule. The graveyard shift is already taking years off your life. How about you do everyone a favor and use some of that sweet shift differential to buy yourself a pair of earplugs?
related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!
FILED UNDER: neighbors · noise · sarcasm · sleeping · Sydney · you know who you are
“Kitchen warfare has become somewhat of a spectator sport around here,” says our submitter, of his office in Vancouver. Perhaps a Vegan Support Group is in order?
related: Texts from Obnoxious Vegan Girl
FILED UNDER: milk · office