why facebook is sooo gonna get you fired

August 10th, 2009 · 162 comments

even more dangerous than friending your parents on facebook? friending a) your boss and b) the cubicle-mate you kinda can’t stand.

exhibit a)
facebook is soooo gonna get your ass fired

exhibit b)

Whoops! Forgot I friended you!

exhibit c)

get off facebook, por favor

exhibit d) via “the internet”

facebook is sooo gonna get your ass fired

related: busted by facebook

extra credit: study says facebook is like totally ruining your life …and gonna get you fired [mashable]

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→ 162 CommentsFILED UNDER: facebook · office


al gore knows you’re a little tease

August 9th, 2009 · 104 comments

caroline sends this delightful trio of holier-than-thou notes from “a rather famous university in scotland where many students and staff have illusions of grandeur.”

the first  note was spotted, caroline says, while exiting a building “where many people work late and lights are almost always burning to help us find our way through the maze of corridors. “i found these stuck to just about every light switch in the vicinity. luckily, i snapped a picture as the next day they were all crumpled into balls and thrown on the floor in what i assume was a protest against sexualising light switches.”

al gore knows you're a cock tease

(”next time,” she adds, “i will make sure my light switch is fully satisfied before I leave.”)

the second note, caroline says, “is posted in a building where, due to the age of the pipes, the water is filled with lead and unsafe to drink, meaning water coolers are conveniently posted on most floors. i know we are a biology building and we have to care about the environment and blah blah blah, but while we are doing our world-saving research, would it be ok if we just had a cup of water that isn’t going to kill us?” [ed. note: yes, the note-writer has a point.]

well, the jackass has a point

the final note is posted next to the door leading to one of the outside smoking areas. “unfortunately,” caroline says, “it tends to have the opposite effect than intend. everytime i see it, i find myself having to sneak one in.”

well, i hadn't, until you mentioned it...

moral of the story this website: even if you’re on the most solid moral/ethical/logical/legal ground, writing an snotty note about it will backfire on you more often than not. [insert maniacal emoticon]

related: al gore knows you know drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

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→ 104 CommentsFILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · anthropomorphism · double-entendre alert · energy usage · scotland · the earth · university


(you know the book)

August 6th, 2009 · 187 comments

our submitter from honolulu lives with two roommates…in a house that belongs to one of those roommate’s parents. (mayday! mayday!)

one day, apparently, mother dearest decided to come over for an unannounced visit. surprise!

speaking of church (you know the book)

(click to enlarge)

related: i can has guilt trip?

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→ 187 CommentsFILED UNDER: Hawaii · cleaning · guilt trip · jesus · moms & dads


okay, now you’re just screwing with me

August 5th, 2009 · 128 comments

this is one of those notes i’ve spent far too long puzzling over. the frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?

but who stole your punctuation?

sir/ma’am, i will gladly supply you with as many baby ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought process that led to this note.

related: and yet…the pink flowers?

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→ 128 CommentsFILED UNDER: god · irregular capitalization · new york · office · stealing · wtf? · you call that punctuation?


iron-ic chef america

August 4th, 2009 · 205 comments

writes our anonymous submitter: “i own a restaurant, and the writer of the note is a college student who has worked for me for a while now.  yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat) and i was so tired of her shenanigans that i roared at her right before service to get out. i was actually surprised that the writer of the note didn’t ’sympathy quit’ right then, but her professionalism clearly shines through in this note.”
Why do you hate the planet?

p.p.p.p.s. god, i hope this girl shows up on a bravo/food network reality show. i need more of this delicious naivete!

related: this shit is bananas

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→ 205 CommentsFILED UNDER: butterflies are so passive-aggressive · farewell letter · nice stationery · p.s. · restaurant · the earth


startin’ young

August 3rd, 2009 · 87 comments

shortly after the birth of her new nephew (a.k.a “gee-gee-boo”, liz in waltham, mass. received this note (channeling grandmothers everywhere) from the precocious 7-year-old daughter of her other sister. writes liz: “i love that she is simultaneously trying to guilt trip me into having a kid while not-so-subtly hinting that baby g should move up to the boston area.”

startin' young
meanwhile, an eight-year-old in san marcos, california is also finding a good use for those “friendly letter” skills he learned in school.
startin' young

related: p.p.s. do you really have a belly like a bowl full of jelly?

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→ 87 CommentsFILED UNDER: family · guilt trip · kids · signed with love


is drawing with ms paint ever really necessary?

August 2nd, 2009 · 117 comments

i didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then corinna in seattle came through with this.

Is drawing with MS Paint ever really necessary?

(add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a perez hilton special!)

related: maybe next time you should try power point?

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→ 117 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · office · piss · toilet · unnecessary illustration


the kronic—what?—kles of keith

July 30th, 2009 · 151 comments

one lazy sunday, when our anonymous submitter in minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “at first i thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. but then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”

and yet, as many questions as these notes raise, i’m sure we can all agree that whatever keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

here, keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

then, evidently quite pleased with herself, keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.

The Keith Kronikles

related: to have and to hold

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→ 151 CommentsFILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · drugs · ex drama · heart · minneapolis · money · wtf?


but a mother’s love is the best gift of all…right?

July 29th, 2009 · 116 comments

andrea in beaver dam, wisconsin says her friend mckenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from mom.

(you can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

but a mother's love is the best gift...right?

related: when a card just won’t do

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→ 116 CommentsFILED UNDER: birthday · moms & dads · wisconsin