(you know the book)

August 6th, 2009 · 187 comments

our submitter from honolulu lives with two roommates…in a house that belongs to one of those roommate’s parents. (mayday! mayday!)

one day, apparently, mother dearest decided to come over for an unannounced visit. surprise!

speaking of church (you know the book)

(click to enlarge)

related: i can has guilt trip?

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→ 187 CommentsFILED UNDER: Hawaii · cleaning · guilt trip · jesus · moms & dads


okay, now you’re just screwing with me

August 5th, 2009 · 128 comments

this is one of those notes i’ve spent far too long puzzling over. the frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?

but who stole your punctuation?

sir/ma’am, i will gladly supply you with as many baby ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought process that led to this note.

related: and yet…the pink flowers?

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→ 128 CommentsFILED UNDER: god · irregular capitalization · new york · office · stealing · wtf? · you call that punctuation?


iron-ic chef america

August 4th, 2009 · 205 comments

writes our anonymous submitter: “i own a restaurant, and the writer of the note is a college student who has worked for me for a while now.  yesterday, her pal flatly refused to put on her uniform (a chef coat) and i was so tired of her shenanigans that i roared at her right before service to get out. i was actually surprised that the writer of the note didn’t ’sympathy quit’ right then, but her professionalism clearly shines through in this note.”
Why do you hate the planet?

p.p.p.p.s. god, i hope this girl shows up on a bravo/food network reality show. i need more of this delicious naivete!

related: this shit is bananas

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→ 205 CommentsFILED UNDER: butterflies are so passive-aggressive · farewell letter · nice stationery · p.s. · restaurant · the earth


startin’ young

August 3rd, 2009 · 87 comments

shortly after the birth of her new nephew (a.k.a “gee-gee-boo”, liz in waltham, mass. received this note (channeling grandmothers everywhere) from the precocious 7-year-old daughter of her other sister. writes liz: “i love that she is simultaneously trying to guilt trip me into having a kid while not-so-subtly hinting that baby g should move up to the boston area.”

startin' young
meanwhile, an eight-year-old in san marcos, california is also finding a good use for those “friendly letter” skills he learned in school.
startin' young

related: p.p.s. do you really have a belly like a bowl full of jelly?

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→ 87 CommentsFILED UNDER: family · guilt trip · kids · signed with love


is drawing with ms paint ever really necessary?

August 2nd, 2009 · 117 comments

i didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then corinna in seattle came through with this.

Is drawing with MS Paint ever really necessary?

(add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a perez hilton special!)

related: maybe next time you should try power point?

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→ 117 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · office · piss · toilet · unnecessary illustration


the kronic—what?—kles of keith

July 30th, 2009 · 151 comments

one lazy sunday, when our anonymous submitter in minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “at first i thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. but then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”

and yet, as many questions as these notes raise, i’m sure we can all agree that whatever keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

here, keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)

The Keith Kronikles

The Keith Kronikles

then, evidently quite pleased with herself, keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.

The Keith Kronikles

related: to have and to hold

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→ 151 CommentsFILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · drugs · ex drama · heart · minneapolis · money · wtf?


but a mother’s love is the best gift of all…right?

July 29th, 2009 · 116 comments

andrea in beaver dam, wisconsin says her friend mckenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from mom.

(you can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

but a mother's love is the best gift...right?

related: when a card just won’t do

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→ 116 CommentsFILED UNDER: birthday · moms & dads · wisconsin


don’t blame us

July 28th, 2009 · 158 comments

exhibit a) spotted at a laundromat in silver lake by jessica in los angeles…

don't blame us!

exhibit b) from ronnie’s diner, also in l.a., by valerie:

don't blame us!

exhibit c) from barnacle bill’s in sarasota, florida:

 No (shitty) beer for you!

exhibit d) from, as miranda explains, ” the local ‘community thrift store’ in dahlonega,georgia, where everything is donated, and all the people who work there…are volunteers. raising the prices to compensate for the volunteers’ efforts? makes TONS of sense to me!”
don't blame us

but (because the decision had to be made) i would say that this  final note — spotted by rusty at a b&b in newfoundland — is my absolute favorite.

could you be a little more specific?

related: when you can’t blame the dog

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→ 158 CommentsFILED UNDER: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · highlighter · passive voice