Trapped in the (Water) Closet

January 14th, 2014 · 53 comments

Writes Robert in Redmond, Washington: “In our office, in this particular bathroom, at this particular urinal, there strikes a phantom pisser, who finds joy in covering the floor in front of the urinal 1/8 inch deep in piss — every single day. One coworker got fed up with this and posted the following series of sticky notes. Then some other coworkers then jumped in to add their own particular flair.”

Stop stinkling on the floor. You are an adult not a diaper-wearing baby man. Thank you —Your loving coworkers.

related: The Urinal Games

extra credit: Aziz Ansari on R. Kelly [youtube]

→ 53 CommentsFILED UNDER: rebuttals · smartass · toilet · Washington state


404 error: water not found

January 12th, 2014 · 43 comments

Aaron works at a web design and development company in Houston where he the water cooler is chronically empty. Writes Aaron: “Other notes have been written in the past, but this time I feel the javascript developers are being specifically targeted.”

404 error: water not found

related: But…changing the water cooler bottle is hard!

→ 43 CommentsFILED UNDER: Houston · nerd alert · office · water


Greetings from the Polar Vortex

January 8th, 2014 · 126 comments

Writes Steve in Boston: “This note cracks me up because it is, on the one hand, a request for more civility and, on the other hand, a not so thinly veiled threat.” (How so very Boston!)

By City of Boston law, I am entitled to save this spent after having spent an hour of backbreaking work shoveling. I hope you with respect your neighbors next time, you piece of shit. Love, Vigilante Justice P.S. Happy Holidays!

related: Can you dig it?

extra credit: Boston’s “parking chair” law [washingtonpost.com]

→ 126 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · parking


Fever pitch

January 6th, 2014 · 57 comments

Rob and Karen in the U.K. both passed along this note, recently covered in the Manchester Evening News, that was found posted on seats at the Stockport County FC’s home stadium. (Is this what hooliganism looks like in the lower divisions nowadays?)

To: The two guys in black leather jackets who have recently started sitting in these seats. Sorry. There's no way to put this without hurting your feelings, but one or both of you stinks and it is ruining the experience of those around you. Many of us are season ticket holders and it is very unfair that we have to spend the best part of two hours every game with a foul smell like this around us. Please either have a good wash and change your clothes or go and sit elsewhere. Thanks. And yes, it is that bad.

related: Are you ready for some football?!

→ 57 CommentsFILED UNDER: Manchester · odor


Which one of these is not like the other?

January 5th, 2014 · 116 comments

Writes Meg in New Jersey: “We just buried my Mom today. After Mass and luncheon we came home and unpacked cards from the funeral home. This is from my brother’s office.” Can you tell who didn’t bother to read the card before signing it?

Which one of these is not like the other?

related: My condolences on your birthday

→ 116 CommentsFILED UNDER: New Jersey · Oops?


Most Popular Notes of 2013

January 1st, 2014 · 95 comments

It’s time, once again, to cast your vote for your favorite note of the year as well as the infamous douchecanoe of the year! To refresh your memory, below are some of the most popular notes of the past 365 days. (Did I forget any? Let me know in the comments!)

The Office LOL Police

A Dance Mom Intervention

WHOSE STUPID CAT IS THIS?

Not to name names, but...

Here comes the troll

The Considerate Thief

[Read more →]

→ 95 CommentsFILED UNDER: most popular notes of 2013


Here’s to a resolutely insincere new year

December 30th, 2013 · 43 comments

Jackie in Alfred, New York says she found this note stuffed under her bedroom door after taking away her 9-year-old son’s iPod and Nintento DS. (“He’s taken to sneaking them to school and lying about it,” she explains.)

To Mom and Dad: My N. Years Resolution is to never talk, be nice, or happy to you. Not sincerely, Jin  >:(

related: The Silent Treatment

→ 43 CommentsFILED UNDER: kids · Moms & Dads


The Mom with the Reindeer Tattoo

December 24th, 2013 · 58 comments

Writing Persephone in New Hampshire: “My father and I have a habit of snatching the Christmas cookies. I guess this year my mom had had enough.”

DO NOT TOUCH or Santa Claus will have 6 elves with halitosis read Norwegian crime novels to you as you are tied to a dyspeptic reindeer...I wouldn't chance it if I were you!

P.S. Yes, Stieg Larsson is Swedish…but titling this post “Blood on Snow” just seemed a little too dark.

related: Mad Santa

→ 58 CommentsFILED UNDER: Christmas · Moms & Dads · touching


Tis the season for white lies, kid.

December 22nd, 2013 · 109 comments

Writes Siegrin in California: “My friend started teaching at a new school this year and received this note from one of her (fifth-grade) students on the last day before the holiday break. It’s almost as uplifting as the doughnut she received from her fellow teacher, along with a note that read, ‘If you’re watching your weight, feel free to not eat the doughnut.”

Dear Mrs. A, thank you for being our teacher and teaching us as best you can. I wanted Mrs. F or Mr. C but I was wrong. You are the Best Teacher Ever! Thank you for being the best and trying to teach us the best you can to pass every test. Thank you and Merry Cristmas!! (Star, Heart, Happy Face)

related: You’re a good student, but not my best speller

→ 109 CommentsFILED UNDER: California · Christmas · just being honest · schools & teachers


Neat freaks on speed

December 17th, 2013 · 129 comments

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

I am so sorry that I cleaned the entire house again. I am also sorry for doing everybody's dishes + cleaning up after their dishes. Have fun trashing the entire apartment. Especially since you have never been loud :)

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

→ 129 CommentsFILED UNDER: Boston · cleaning · mean girls · roommates · smiley · thanks (but not really)