The potluck pedant

November 26th, 2013 · 91 comments

Writes our submitter in Washington state: “Shortly after our holiday party signup sheet was posted, this gentle reminder appeared, taped over the word ‘potluck.’ So far, no one has been brave enough to sign up for anything.”

(Because, you know, the best kind of potluck is six bags of chips, three plates of cookies, a one liter bottle of soda, and some plastic forks.)

1. pot luck used in reference to a situation in which one must take a chance that whatever is available will prove to be good or acceptable.  This is not a potluck if you have to sign up to bring something.

related: THE POTLUCK THEME IS MONGOLIA[N] BBQ!!!!!

extra credit: Potluck fear and loathing [latimes.com]

→ 91 CommentsFILED UNDER: holiday spirit · most popular notes of 2013 · obnoxious definition · office cop · party planning committee


Sign, cosign…and off on a tangent

November 25th, 2013 · 35 comments

Ever wonder how MIT undergrads spend their free time? Well, thanks to Benjamin in Boston, you have your answer:

Please make bigger signs. It will encourage people to read your signs.

related: How’s that for a group effort?

→ 35 CommentsFILED UNDER: college life · dishes · most popular notes of 2013 · note wars · smartass


Tis the season for KILLER DEALS

November 24th, 2013 · 78 comments

Shortly after Denver’s first snowfall of the season, Sharon looked out her window to see her neighbor making a snowman. “I thought he was doing something cute for his girlfriend. Who knew it was actually a frosty political statement about the cold evils of capitalism?”

COUNTDOWN TO BLACK FRIDAY KILLER DEALS!!!!!

Adorable, innit?

related: Drivers of Walmart

→ 78 CommentsFILED UNDER: holiday spirit


A Snowball’s chance

November 20th, 2013 · 205 comments

Our unapologetic submitter, Patrick from Orlando, Florida, says he’s always been more of a dog person. One day, he says, “I got fed up with the perpetual harassment of this neighborhood cat: getting into my trash, jumping onto my car, and might have even given me ringworm once.” His response?

I have shitty owners who don't feed me and let me run wild so I harass the neighbors. Signed, Snowball

Adds Patrick: “Crazy cat ladies must have some sort of sixth sense because I had an angry visitor at my front door within 15 minutes. To this day, Snowball still roams free.”

Snowball

related: The story of STUPID CAT

extra credit: Call for Cat Curfew [thecourier.com.au]

→ 205 CommentsFILED UNDER: cats · neighbors · Orlando


Is it really Baby Jesus stealing season again already?

November 18th, 2013 · 99 comments

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but as Rachel in Victoria, B.C. noticed, nativity scenes are already becoming crime scenes.

I hate to say that and most of you may not even believe it, but there are people they steal

related: Baby Jesus is AWOL

→ 99 CommentsFILED UNDER: British Columbia · Christmas · Jesus · most popular notes of 2013 · stealing · warning


Things that go bump in the night

November 17th, 2013 · 52 comments

Today on Passive-Aggressive Poetry Corner: A note our submitter from Maryland found slid under the door of her top-floor apartment.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're real loud Here's a list of things you do:  1. you stomp real loud like a hefalump 2. you move your furniture like you're an interior designer 3. there is a weird noise that happens in your common area 4. the steps you take sound like forced stomps 5. the loud noises happen at all hours We understand that you don't have to listen to people above you but please realize there are people underneath you

related: Ever wonder what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

→ 52 CommentsFILED UNDER: Maryland · neighbors · noise · pure poetry


Fish fingers and custard, then, yeah?

November 13th, 2013 · 36 comments

Our submitter, Gavin, saw this note displayed prominently on the wall in the lounge/bar area of a 104-year-old fishermen’s club in Sussex, England.

“I found it quite touching that they’d selected tomato-coloured ink to write the note in no-nonsense Times New Roman ALL CAPS,” Gavin says. And while he hasn’t a clue as to the identity of the culprit or the circumstances involved, “I doubt that this person is popular with the club committee.”

COULD THE PERSON WHO KEEPS THROWING TOMATO JUICE ALL OVER THE FLOOR HERE PLEASE STOP WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE

related: Trust me, I’m the Doctor.

→ 36 CommentsFILED UNDER: I know who you are · so this is a thing? · U.K.


Unthightly and unsymphatetic

November 12th, 2013 · 62 comments

Alrighty, folks. Yesterday’s “millennial-bashing” post seemed to stir up outdoor-cat levels of ire, so I think it’s time for a day of healing. I’ll even set aside the issue of “passive-aggressive” vs. “just straightforward aggressive.” Cheap laughs for all, courtesy of Sarah in Providence and Peter in New York!

PLEASE CLOSE DOOR  THIGHTLY AT ALL TIMES. BETTER SAFE THEM SORRY.

'Gentlements' be 'symphatetic enough' not to use: 'ladies restroom' thanks management

related: “Employees” must “wash hands” with “soap”

→ 62 CommentsFILED UNDER: bathroom · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"


This is why people hate the Millennials

November 11th, 2013 · 285 comments

Writes our submitter, a college student in Colorado who I would really like to smack some sense into: “We had a change in professors midway through the semester in my fiction workshop. The new professor does not understand that his class is not the absolute most important thing in the universe.”

(just click the image below to enlarge)

Rather than write a lengthy explanation of why it is a bad idea to come to my class without reading the material, or why typing away on your laptop or checking FB while I am speaking (or worse, while yours peers are leading discussion) is rude, I decided instead just to thank those of you who consistently come into class prepared and enthusiastic.

related: So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

→ 285 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · college life · Colorado · kids today · most popular notes of 2013


Not cool, dudebro

November 7th, 2013 · 104 comments

The only think Derek — I’m sorry, “Dman” — had to say about this note was, “i live with some girls, and one is pretty funny.” Something tells that “funny ha ha” isn’t what comes to his roommates’ minds when mopping up Derek’s puddles of urine.

Derek, Peeing IN the toilet bowl is a non-negotiable part of having indoor plumbing; if you don't like aiming, go outside.

related: The Piddler on the Roof

→ 104 CommentsFILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · most popular notes of 2013 · New York · piss · roommates