the word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. unless, of course, you’re watching tv news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be [...]

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“not long before i left my previous job writing reviews of video games, i got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game i didn’t exactly care for,” alex says. “game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one [...]

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derek and his bandmates in the grand rapids, mich. rock/metal band charles the osprey were in the middle of a post-set smoke when the club’s bartender came outside, grinning ear-to-ear, and handed them this note.
unlike the unwilling participants in improv everywhere’s “best gig ever,” charles the osprey seem to be taking the attention in stride. [...]

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our anonymous submitter in san diego got this text message from a friend, explaining: “it’s in reference to him hooking up with one of my friends on my couch. he’s hooked up with three of my friends to date. it’s bound to get around, ya know?”

adds our submitter: “there’s no safe way to respond to [...]

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this just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. as one anonymous new yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!

(thank you kindly? best wishes? hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)

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