Entries Tagged as 'smoking'

over and over - the warning (passive-aggressive remix)

February 21st, 2008 · 146 Comments

laid back? i’ll give you laid back. in fact, i’ll spell it out for you: janice will break your legs.

(thanks to peter in milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)
related: be informed, homeland security will be

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Tags: crazypants · milwaukee · pure poetry · say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · you call that punctuation?

where angels fear to spit

February 13th, 2008 · 70 Comments

from an anonymous heathen in washington, d.c.:

related: it must have been a pretty big bite

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Tags: bold underlined italics · d.c. · exclamation-point happy! · neighbors · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting

it’s not food, mister — it’s ice cream! (drat, foiled again)

November 29th, 2007 · 94 Comments

tourist traps have the best signs. more proof? this exercise in subtlety is from provincetown, mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer teresa from boise.

exhibit b) is from washington, d.c., in a store sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from nixon and michael jackson pins to african drums and sweaters.” (admittedly, this one’s [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · beverages · blitzkrieg approach · cape cod · d.c. · food · ice cream · massachusetts · questionable logic · smoking

be informed, homeland security will be

November 6th, 2007 · 190 Comments

PES picked this note out of an apartment building in newark, nj in 2004 because he loved the paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

p.s. for more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · jersey · landlord · loitering · newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking

now finish up them taters, i’m gonna go fondle my sweaters

November 2nd, 2007 · 486 Comments

writes tessa, who works at a restaurant in albuquerque: “the day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (i’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)

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Tags: albuquerque · now that's management · restaurant · smoking · spelling and grammar police

your to lazy

October 15th, 2007 · 173 Comments

those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter, a GM at a property management firm in springfield, missouri for today’s masterpiece. “one of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “i [...]

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Tags: TLDR · cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlord · missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · vandalism

this aggression will not stand, man

September 22nd, 2007 · 160 Comments

as a little weekend bonus, i bring you this post from the smith daily jolt’s alumnae forum. yes, it’s long.

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Tags: TLDR · bathroom · e-mail · garbage · just an asshole · martyr complex · money · not wrong · posted online · rebuttals · roommates · sig o · smoking · that's a fire hazard