summer from decatur, georgia says she found this note “left on a car piously parked while attempting to attend mass on vacation” in galveston, texas.

stealing hot pockets is apparently not the only thing that jesus wouldn’t do.

related: there you go, bringing Him into it again

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so, our anonymous submitter had lived at her house in austin, texas for about two months when she went out of town for the weekend. for the two days while she was gone, she left her dog outside in the yard. three weeks later, her landlord – who lives at a completely different address — [...]

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in all fairness, says brandi in austin, “this note was written after our dishes became so caked with fungus that we had to buy new stuff. the smell was also REALLY bad.”

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exhibit a) from richmond, virginia: the pedantic approach

exhibit b) from minneapolis. minnesota: the conditional approach

exhibit c) from hartford, connecticut: the ALL for one and one for ALL approach

exhibit d) from dallas, texas: the federal government’s approach

(thanks to erik and kim for their submissions.)

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if you’re wondering what oxypowder is, allow kenneth to explain.

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