Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”
Now, for the complaints…
178 responses so far ↓
#1
Patty O. Furniture
I guarantee she was a hall monitor in middle school.
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:26 pm rating: 90
#2
caclark4
I love the miscellaneous capitalization throughout. I’m going to decorate my apartment for the holidays with the trash, pet droppings, and small children that are always just laying around!
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:31 pm rating: 90
#3
Wade
Sweet monkey fritters!
I suppose if you spend all your time collecting pet feces and returning them to their owners, there is just not enough time left to make real improvements, lol
Oh, and how the hell do you color Christmas?
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:37 pm rating: 90
#4
Wade
“There may be more suprises That everyone will enjoy”
What, like eviction notices?
It’s a trap!!
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:38 pm rating: 90
#5
Cat Skyfire
Wow. Living in an apartment area, I can truly understand the management’s challenge. I’ve one neighbor that has had an untagged car since they moved here. And any apartment dweller knows the joys of other tenants who treat everything like their own personal dumpster.
That said… If you are management, before you post anything, make sure it looks good. Strange grammar and oddly placed capitals don’t inspire respect.
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:42 pm rating: 90
#6
southern girl
Take your kids, pets and roaches to Doggie Daycare!
This is not the Ghetto people!
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:42 pm rating: 90
#7
Canthz_B
Sure sounds like one hell of a ghetto to me…flying cans, trash bags and cigarette butts?
Yeeeeesh!
But those cars on blocks are delicious!
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
#8
Mishee
Wow… well, ummm… wow… I don’t even know WHERE to start!!
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:47 pm rating: 90
#9
Canthz_B
Hey Wade…We always had a “Colored” Christmas! LOL
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:47 pm rating: 90
#10
Wade
ROFL!!
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:49 pm rating: 90
#11
Wade
but I must say I really enjoy stomping loud music.
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 90
#12
Canthz_B
What did you think I was dreaming of? ROTFLMAO
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:52 pm rating: 90
#13
hamtax
The random capitalization angers me. Greatly.
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:54 pm rating: 90
#14
Canthz_B
But let us be serious, do NOT leave your trash in front of your door.
Put in front of the neighbor’s door!
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:55 pm rating: 90
#15
raiseyourglass
I wonder what kind of doormat she has?
Oct 15, 2007 at 10:57 pm rating: 90
#16
Wade
I see there is no reference to drunkfests. At least folks in Missouri, unlike South Carolina, can hold their liquor.
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:03 pm rating: 90
#17
Canthz_B
#16, Wade, But apparently not their roaches or “ghetto” behavior sadly. One would think that good people would behave better than “them”.
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:11 pm rating: 90
#18
Wade
i’m with ya, C-B
although using the phrase “again this no the ghetto” doesn’t really advance her point, lol
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:18 pm rating: 90
#19
kels
i think i used to live there….i got sent a notice once for loitering(sp?) in the parking lot, talking to a neighbor, on my way back in, apparently chatty neighbors also make the complex look ghetto…i think she wants people to live there without the actual appearance of people living there
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:19 pm rating: 90
#20
Wade
kels
i guess it’s easier to manage a complex if everyone stays locked inside with their kids, pets, roaches and fleas.
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:23 pm rating: 90
#21
Troy McClure
Springfield, was it? Great town.
Oh my fucking big bang and evolution. This letter is a linguistic lolly scramble. I love “You vehicle will be towed”, though I would prefer it repunctuated as “You, vehicle, will be towed!”
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:30 pm rating: 90
#22
P-A Satan
And I like “Bring them down to me so I can meet them.”
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:31 pm rating: 90
#23
Team Cassandra
Well, its nice to be back:)
There WILL be a Christmas decorating contest.
Capisce?
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:35 pm rating: 90
#24
Mike
Guess none of you ever lived in an apartment complex. Living there is not a right. Why would you want to live like that? Being lived in doesnt mean trashed. No one believes in picking up after themselves anymore? Would hate to see what you live in.
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
#25
Team Cassandra
Also, the idea that you have to “grow up” to get out of the ghetto suggests to me that this is, in fact, a ghetto. And she’s tryna get them all out.
It looks like a lot of work.
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
#26
BoggyWoggy
The note would have read so much better if the writer had said,
“OK, everyone, let’s join hands and make this world a better place! JImmy, you take parking lot detail. If you see anyone throwing debris from their car windows, politely pick it up and say,’Oops. Excuse me, Miss. I think you dropped something.”
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:39 pm rating: 90
#27
Mike
Age or “growing up” has nothing to do with living in the ghetto. Common sense. Sorry but very P&A on this topic. Lived in many complexes where no one gave a damn. I pay rent, therefore I can do whatever I want. Doesnt cut it.
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:42 pm rating: 90
#28
Andy
Hrmph. I’m not an “anonymous commenter”. I’m me.
Anyhoo, I Love the Weird capitalizations, and the looooong list of issues, with such nice editorial comments.
This is why I’d never want to own rental real estate. Or live in an apartment complex again. Or live anywhere near an apartment complex again.
I love the last part — a nice thing about Christmas and more surprises to come. How lovely, Ghetto Christmas. Your presents will be lying next to the dumpster disguised as garbage. Whee!
I love these long notes. I like to think that they’re lovingly crafted in an overnight rush of creativity. The fact that it was emailed proudly says it all. Bravo!
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:42 pm rating: 90
#29
Team Cassandra
Sorry – I meant “grow up” because “this is no a ghetto” because, well you know – you dream of growing up and getting out of the ghetto and…
aw man. i blew it again. that’s why i make those lists.
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:46 pm rating: 90
#30
Jo
OK. As a newspaper editor, I find the random capitalization and lack of punctuation irritating enough. But this person made the mistake that I hate the most. To quote Ross from “Friends”:
“Y-o-u-’-r-e is ‘you are.’ Y-o-u-r is YOUR!”
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:48 pm rating: 90
#31
Timmsterr
Wow, this sounds like the best apartment complex ever!!! Flying trash, nasty little cigerette butt sand throwing kids and the manager being the poster person for “Huked on fonics Werkd fer me!!!
Oct 15, 2007 at 11:59 pm rating: 90
#32
WanderingPenguin
Actually, that wasn’t the major mistake, Jo. They kept leaving the “r” off “YOUR”. I was wondering if the damn key was broken on their keyboard. Also, what the hell are they typing the note on to get random initial capitals? A cell phone? HMOG that note was almost impossible to read.
I really enjoyed “Mike” reading that riotous submission and deciding the appropriate comment to make was to scold the commenters for …. well, actually I don’t know WHAT he was scolding us for. We think that note is hysterical, ergo we live in heaps of garbage? Quite a leap of logic, no?
And I have no idea why this is, but even among all the ridiculous typos in this note the thing that made me laugh out loud was right at the end: “The [sic] will be a 1st, 2nd and third place winners.” The random ordinal number style just killed me.
Team This No The Ghetto FTW!
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:00 am rating: 90
#33
morpho aurora
wow. rAndoM CapitalizatION, abuse of punctuation, and confusing you’re grammar.
somebody just got excited all over her keyboard!
but there WILL be a Christmas decorating contest and a christmas coloring of different age groups!
“and there are just may be more surprises”
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:07 am rating: 90
#34
Katy
#9 <<- ROFLMAO
Yeah, if you’re going to inundate all the residents with your crazy memo but English isn’t your first language (or it is, but you’re retarded), then have someone check it. No one respects an idiot.
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:09 am rating: 90
#35
Timmsterr
How utterly Delicious!!!!!!
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:10 am rating: 90
#36
Wry Exchange
Again, Take care of you kids, this no the ghetto. She printed and delivered this to 115 apartments, counting violations as she went. I bet her follow-up notice will be fabulous.
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:14 am rating: 90
#37
Spiderflowers
I believe that James Brown has a song called, “Santa Clause Go Straight to the Ghetto”. Maybe someone should play that song really loudly outside the crazy lady’s office.
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:15 am rating: 90
#38
sunlotus
this WAS the best Christmas present i could hope for! how can i even thank your?
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:39 am rating: 90
#39
sunlotus
…and i can’t wait for the contest…hmmm, what age group will i be coloring…?
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:42 am rating: 90
#40
T-Bone
Good God almighty. Who the fuck are these people?!?
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:48 am rating: 90
#41
pot still shiner
Ahhh, yes! The crown jewel of all business memoranda: “Cable & internet is still in process”…not still in PROGRESS, mind you, nor in the process of being completed.
Team “I’m trying to sound smarter than I really am!”
115 people are raping and killing me. Thank you Terry!
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:00 am rating: 90
#42
Troy McClure
Yeah, Mike, the apartment complex couldn’t be more of an eyesore than this letter. She’s fighting fire with a flamethrower here.
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:02 am rating: 90
#43
lola
As others have said, in what way is this not the ghetto?
It sounds like our first apartment – between the weekly police searches of our shrubs to the broken beer bottles thrown off balconies – it was as ghetto as Iowa gets!
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:04 am rating: 90
#44
Canthz_B
Much as I hate to be serious (LOL) I must agree with Mike #27, Projects are built brand new, no one from the suburbs comes in to dump trash and spray graffiti.
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:45 am rating: 90
#45
Canthz_B
#32 W-P, what is “HMOG”?
Thanx
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:50 am rating: 90
#46
todd
holy mother of god?
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:58 am rating: 90
#47
Canthz_B
OK…thanx todd
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:00 am rating: 90
#48
Dj Tenn.
God this woman is scary, I can see her on her hands and knees in kabuki face mask scrubbing the bathroom floor like Faye Dunaway in “Mommie Dearest”.
On other hand , she does have a point, although she is kinda racist and crazy. Its not just “the ghetto ” where people live trashy , white folks in trailer parks is just as bad. Dont matter though, you can still have nothing and be clean & use common sense.
Sounds like this is a timeshare condo type thing & not a perm. residence dwelling. she is the female version of Jack Nicholson in “The Shining” who lives there year round.
“Bring your pets , so I can meet them.”
Yes, MY Queen at ONCE!”
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:33 am rating: 90
#49
Low Quality Scanner
If you have balances You need
to get them taken care of ASAP
Dumpster them now!
That’s the Way how
to be mentally unbalanced, like me
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:55 am rating: 90
#50
carmelo-rules
stupid roaches should start paying rent, that way the people will stop complaining about them!
Oct 16, 2007 at 4:20 am rating: 90
#51
crystal
I don’t know about where she lives but in my previous apartment complex if we left furniture in the dumpster we were fined for it.
Only household trash was allowed in there, furinture and such was collected once a month for bulk pick up.
She also seems oblivious to the fact that roaches don’t care if your apartment is clean or not. The bastards can live off a peice of cardboard for a month, why would they leave just because you tidied up a bit?
MANDITORY SHOCK COLLARS FOR ALL STAY AT HOME DOGS! Because god forbid you disturb the s.o.b who’s watching ‘their stories’ at ten in the morning. Also, the idea of this person crouching in the bushes to pick up abandoned poop amuses me for some warped reason. Even if she does return the poo, she still lost that battle.
“And there are just maybe more surprizes everyone will enjoy.”
Like new management?
One can only hope!
Oct 16, 2007 at 6:40 am rating: 90
#52
Wade
rofl Mikey
yeah, i’ve lived in my share of apartments and know all about it. in fact, my sister is an asst. apt manager – and if she sent out a note like that i would disown her.
it’s not about the behavior that prompted the note, but the crazy in the note itself, lol
Team Pull That Stick Out Before You Sneeze Splinters.
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:28 am rating: 90
#53
Wade
crystal
every apt i lived in would have to fumigate all the units in a bldg at one time, or the roaches just run from one apt to the other – regardless of how clean you kept it.
I thought the same thing about the shock collars. I would be really surprised if that was in the lease agreement.
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:32 am rating: 90
#54
Sophie
All pretty reasonable points in isolation. But too put SO MANY items on one notice is just dumb.
By the time I had got to the end I had forgotten most of them. All I remembered was,
‘Just Don’t…’
Silly and innefective.
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:35 am rating: 90
#55
Saporro
I think her “Christmas surprise” will be a big lump of coal.
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:55 am rating: 90
#56
bintgoddess
At least it wasn’t “Bring your pets so I can meat them.”
I’ve seen the “your to (adjective)” atrocity so many times that when I see “you’re too (adjective)” it looks wrong. That makes me sad.
Oct 16, 2007 at 8:12 am rating: 90
#57
Team Cassandra
#44 C_B I know I’m *always* disagreeing with you (I don’t mean it in a bad way) but you actually raised one of my biggest issues.
I live near the club/shopping district and suburbanites DO come down here and trash the place. Every weekend and every time some special event is going on – like Nascar or a Ball Game or whatever.
It makes me really upset sometimes and I’ll actually say to really bad offenders:
“Hey – we don’t come to *your* neighborhood and wreck the joint, do we? Please don’t throw up on my doorstep…”
Off-topic here, I guess, but a hot button for me, fersure.
Oct 16, 2007 at 8:15 am rating: 90
#58
the GM
The best part is that it is a nice complex! We never see problems when we visit, apparently it all happens in the middle of the night and magically disappears when we show up. Equally surprising is that no one has called to complain. Had I sent this to another one of our complexes, people would have FLIPPED.
Team Why Do I Still Work Here?
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:25 am rating: 90
#59
Katzndogz
Team punctuation! She leaves periods off the ends of some sentences so that she can put them in the middle of others. Wow.
I think if I had to be an apartment manager, I’d be crazy within a month.
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:29 am rating: 90
#60
the sos
so glad i don’t live in an apartment complex anymore. mainly so i don’t have to read poorly written letters like this from middle school educated egomaniacs with big hair and gaudy nails…
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:56 am rating: 90
#61
Lorina
I think Your all abunch of Rich people To rich to understand what it like to live in a Place that everyone acts like a Ghetto. Team Resident Manager.
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:06 am rating: 90
#62
From the lovely burg
Hey, GM, any chance you want to give me a hint of the location of this complex so I can avoid it like the plague?
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:17 am rating: 90
#63
caclark4
LOL…I can identify with you GM. I have really nice neighbors for the most part but people keep walking through my patio. This continued to happen even once I put a chair blocking one entrance-they just step over it. Now I’m the crazy lady who has to go out once a day and ask someone to stop walking through my patio. I’m going to put string up at ankle length to trip people and throw water on the patio to ice it over…nothing PA about that! lmao
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:19 am rating: 90
#64
sea
the couch was fucking delicious!
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:32 am rating: 90
#65
Zsa
Lorina~ I spent a good chunk of time living in section 8 housing (dating myself, but WTH) and “ghetto” it wasn’t. Most people were used to having their shit stolen, so kept it indoors. I can’t vouch for the qualityof life INSIDE but outside was fine.
Now when I got my decent job and moved out to the “nice” apartments… THAT was ghetto. Crap left everywhere, animals and kids running all over. Those people could afford to have a non-working car just sitting around apparently.
However~ if the manager has so many problems with pets how about not allowing any more pets? I’m betting her turnover is crazy and she will not have to pick up and deliver poop within 6 months. And Really~ how does she know which poop is from Putz?
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:51 am rating: 90
#66
anglophile
I understand there is an impending crisis in the Period supply market–let’s all be careful not to use them up, don’t use a period if you don’t have to so our kids can someday write sentences that end in periods! If you must end a sentence, try an exclamation point instead–we have plenty of those!
I love how there’s three lines of updates followed by 13 paragraphs of complaints. I bet the anger has been simmering quite some time….
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:55 am rating: 90
#67
lauralaiwc
i wish my management had the balls to do a more intelligent version of this.
my neighbor across the way from me has a small dog that has crapped on my welcome mat repeatedly (it used to be a pretty design; i know have one that reads “feck off”
not really. but i should); i scooped it onto theirs with a stick and threatened to sprinkle rat poison on a doggy treat and leave it on my mat. the dog crapping has since stopped. seriously? who lets their dog poop on someone elses mat? i hadnt even met them at that point. now, its war.
my nextdoor neighbor is loud, which i can sometimes ignore, but they will let trash accumulate for two weeks by their front door; it is a rotting, festering magot daycare and they just dont care. if they have to drive anywhere, they pass the dumpster on the way to their car, so im not sure what the issue is. their cement is stained by their door from the filth. this is supposed to be in a nice part of town, but this place is a dump. i actually dropped my own bag with their collection one time and i doubt they noticed. i put a note threatening to report them to management, lets see if it helps, lol.
k, now that ive complaigned, this note tickles me, for many reasons already stated.
Oct 16, 2007 at 10:56 am rating: 90
#68
Juliet
I used to live in a run-down bu still fabulous 1950′s character building. There were 6 units and we were all more or less pretty good neighbours to each other. Then, someone moved out and the property manager made the choice to rent to meth users. My neighbours started to move out, and friends of the meth users started moving in. It was awful. I had to call the cops on more than one occasion. My neighbours yelled things like, “The next time you see me, I’m going to be fucking sober!” and “I said I was fuckin’ sorry!” (This is my favourite apology ever.)
Within 6 months, the meth users and their friends infiltrated the building and we all moved out.
It all could have been avoided if the property manager had taken the time to find decent people to rent to, and not just anybody.
Team Screen Your Renters, Idiot Property Manager! It will save you some serious headaches.
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:08 am rating: 90
#69
Wade
laura – maybe the apartment manager put the poop on your mat to frame your neighb.
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:12 am rating: 90
#70
Katzndogz
I lived in an apartment complex where people didn’t care about cleanliness and the roach problem was horrific. It didn’t matter that we kept our apartment clean. If kids are leaving uneaten ice cream on the stairs in the hallway, there are gonna be bugs.
I still shudder thinking about that experience.
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:12 am rating: 90
#71
Wade
youryr neighbOct 16, 2007 at 11:13 am rating: 90
#72
MasterTwisted
A little rearranging of the subject matter would have worked wonders, such as:
“And there are just may be more surprises That everyone will enjoy. I can always return what your pet leave behind to you. It will be charged to you!”
“There will also be a Christmas coloring contest Different age groups. They are there for you to enjoy Not to throw trash, cans, cigarette butts, etc. the Dumpster is not that far away.”
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:18 am rating: 90
#73
Wade
Most of these problems would be solved if the resident manager made better use of her henchmen, lol.
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:22 am rating: 90
#74
DJ CELSIUS
I’m lovin it
A two page letter (mostly complaints) to over 100 appartments and then at the end stating that “there WILL be a decorating contest” was this person ever a military drill sgt they kind of remind me of the one i had when i was in basic training
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:34 am rating: 90
#75
Craniac
I like the Christmas coloring contest for all ages — I suppose that includes middle aged, elderly, nursing home aged, maybe even dead and gone?
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:35 am rating: 90
#76
Mitsu
OMG!!! This is too funny! In a way, I can agree with her. A lot of people in my apartment complex don’t realize that other people live there, and that not everyone wants to hear their nasty kids running around in the halls.
I think she’s a bit too harsh on the pets though. I’d much rather hear dogs barking than kids screming and crying any day!
TEAM LET THE DOGS BE DOGS!!!!
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:44 am rating: 90
#77
TAJ
I think if I had gotten a letter like that from my management, I would have redlined it and returned it to them. Possibly with a book on grammar… with the sections on punctuation, capitalization and you/your/you’re highlighted.
Seriously, I’m not a grammar Nazi, but this note makes my eyes bleed!
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:54 am rating: 90
#78
Jagwio
What a bitch!
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:57 am rating: 90
#79
Idman
Team “magot daycare.”
Those maggots were delicious.
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:02 pm rating: 90
#80
Team Ozarks
For Springfield MO, I thought the letter was rather well written. At least she knew to use puctuation, contractions, and capitalation (though incorrectly). What do you expect when the town’s fine dining is in the Bass Pro Shop. Go Hillbillies!
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 90
#81
Team Ozarks
Capitalization – key board stuck
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:04 pm rating: 90
#82
WanderingPenguin
Todd and CB – yes, indeed, “HMOG” = Holy Mother of God. Sorry it took so long to confirm.
How did this thread bring us back to “dogs being dogs”?
I so do not want to go down that road again….
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:18 pm rating: 90
#83
msadavis
Is she really thinking that people are going to attend her Christmas activities after that letter? If she got the apartment manager job, what other applicants got turned down?
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
#84
Michael
This must be an AIMCO property.
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:41 pm rating: 90
#85
Spreggels
Wow. This was an object lesson in how to couch a number of reasonable (and many unreasonable) requests in a thick, hearty layer of assholery. The key is the excessive use of exclamation points, which can make any directive sound like the hateful whining of a helicopter parent at a school board meeting.
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:44 pm rating: 90
#86
Lara
First, what kind of dump is this place? They don’t even have cable, or decent roofs!
Does anybody else get the idea that the decorating contest will not be optional?
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:48 pm rating: 90
#87
Leslie
Wow, if I try to read this strictly the way it is written, it makes me feel like a fourth grader with a learning disability. I will give it to her though, having lived in an apartment complex before, people don’t care what they do when they don’t own the place in which they live.
Oct 16, 2007 at 12:59 pm rating: 90
#88
Lara
I think I’m team tenants after thinking about it. I wouldn’t throw trash, until I read this letter. Then I’d be all “fuck it”, and start throwing banana peels out my window for note-leaving elves to slip on.
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:02 pm rating: 90
#89
j
Goodness! Learn how to use spellcheck please!
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:05 pm rating: 90
#90
Aleks
Has anyone else had the thought that maybe the author of this note needs a shock collar? I am incensed that anyone would consider suggesting that as a solution to a barking dog. How bad are the complaints, for JC’s sake??
This note also reminds me of several that have popped up at my current job, where no one is encouraged to talk to the person who is doing something wrong. Everyone gets harangued because of one idiot who flushes paper towels down the toilet. Maybe it should be suggested that complaints about specific things go to those specific tenants who are breaking those specific rules.
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:36 pm rating: 90
#91
Grasp-of-grammar
Dear GM – If you are ever looking for a manager with a firm grasp of customer service, and a more than 3rd grade handle on the English language, look me up.
Oct 16, 2007 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
#92
Jon
I will never again allow any of my dogs to wear shock collars, they would randomly go off and shock the dogs when they would be sleeping/sitting around and it would scare the hell out of them.
never again!
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:05 pm rating: 90
#93
dawn
#90, I’m right there with you. Put the shock collar on the apartment manager and see how she likes it. More fun than a coloring contest, for sure.
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:09 pm rating: 90
#94
Decka
I wish this lady worked at my apartment building. I’m guessing all the annoying people would leave.
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:16 pm rating: 90
#95
T-Bone
#65- Thank you, Zsa.
#61- Lorina: I looked into my PAN crystal ball and saw that someone exactly like you would write to say that we’re all a bunch of whiny, entitled snobs who’ve never had a day of financial strain in our lives; that we’re all commenting on PAN via our little softly-lit home offices while the butler is downstairs detailing the Bentley in preparation for our daily shopping spree on Rodeo Drive.
Surprise! You’re dead wrong.
I’ll bet you the shirt off of my back (bought for $12.00 at Marshall’s– the first new article of clothing I’ve purchased in a year) that every single PANdemic who contributed a comment on the above apartment manager’s disturbing note has:
1. Eaten Ramen for days at a stretch.
2. Had simultaneous full- and part-time jobs to supplement their income.
3. Wondered how the hell they’re gonna pay for gas for the upcoming week.
4. Has shopped at Wal-Mart, even though they suck, simply because their prices are cheaper.
5. Has worn layers and layers of clothing around the house in the Winter because they can’t afford to pay the heating bill.
Don’t think we’re raking this manager person over the coals because we think we’re above her or anyone else that lives in her vermin-infested complex. We are raking her over the coals because she wrote a PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE NOTE. Hence, the name of the site: PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE NOTES.
Just a quick explanation about how we work around here. If you think we’re a bunch of snobs, then go to another website and comment there– or better yet, join us and become a fellow PANdemic.
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:24 pm rating: 90
#96
Jon
i wonder how many complaints she got were dealt with by her and how many were just ignored… sometimes people quit coming to you because you dont bother to help with their problems so they deal with them themselves.
“tell me everything that is happening because it makes me feel good to yell at people” is all i hear
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:26 pm rating: 90
#97
Jon
heh, i guess she thought it would be best if she gave you good news first and last, as if it would lessen the impact of the other 90% rant/rave
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:29 pm rating: 90
#98
mere
wow.. really? WOW..
REALLY.
this is just.. wow.
an english teacher’s nightmare, or wet dream. i can’t tell.
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:35 pm rating: 90
#99
Life With Buck
This apartment complex sounds like such fun, but that GM is trying to ruin it. Or maybe torturing the GM is the fun. Either way, I want to see photos of the Christmas decorating contest, and NOT JUST THE WINNERS. We need to see the losers as well. Come to think of it, we should be the judges, not that GM with the giant bug up her ass who thinks that “you” is an acceptable substitute for “your.”
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:36 pm rating: 90
#100
Ali D
MANAGER? maybe if this place hired people for managers who knew how to write a memo using proper grammer, capitalization, etc., they’d have classier tenants??
Its a SERIOUS pet peeve of mine when people use “to” instead of “too” grrrrrr
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:46 pm rating: 90
#101
the GM
Hey #99, I’d pull that giant bug from my ass, but then who will post the pics of the decorating contest? I had to go back and make sure my grammar was correct in my post!
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:49 pm rating: 90
#102
Aleks
GM – Could you also post a pic of the giant bug up your ass? Please?
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:52 pm rating: 90
#103
Olivia
The “Adults” section should be posted on everyone’s door in any apartment building. Seriously. If my neighbor downstairs doesn’t get some meds for the tourette’s he seems to have, I’m going to punch him in the face.
The “Barking Dogs” section- is this person for real?? A shock collar?? Maybe she’d like a shock for every complaint she’s complaining about…
I wait for the day when people can spell and type properly. Oi.
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:54 pm rating: 90
#104
mere
#95-t-bone:
yes, i have eaten ramen for days, and have lived off peanut butter crackers while i was running from one job to the next.
so HERE HERE!
we’re not so much ‘above’ the apartment manager as we are PURE EVIL for trying to lighten the day by reading other people’s p/a notes!!
bwaaHAHAHAHAHahaaaaaaa!
Oct 16, 2007 at 2:54 pm rating: 90
#105
Lorina
Wow T-Bone–having a bad day? Familiar with the terms “irony” and “satire” much?
Hope you feel better soon and I am sorry you are po’.
Love,
Lorina
Oct 16, 2007 at 3:06 pm rating: 90
#106
Lorina
PS I still think there are probably some pretty piggy people living there, even if the Res. Manager may have some terribly fascististic and ungrammatical tendencies.
Oct 16, 2007 at 3:19 pm rating: 90
#107
Lara
Honestrly, if it weren’t for the cable and roof mentions, I’d think this was my current apartment complex.
And please, please, PLEASE on the decorating contest photos!
Oct 16, 2007 at 3:38 pm rating: 90
#108
Lara
One last thing I noticed was the tantalizing “Prizes will be announced”.
Not given, mind you. Just announced.
Oct 16, 2007 at 3:40 pm rating: 90
#109
noname
OMG! I have flashbacks from my days of being an apartment manager. BUT!! Mine were a federally subsidized property with 80% of the people being mentally ill. The crap in the note I could have dealt with, I had to deal with voices in peoples heads and a lady who kept trying to set herself on fire! Eventually I cleaned house but it was always a work in progress. And as far as dog poop, I picked it up, put it in a plastic bag, TIED it to the door of the offender. If I was pissed off enough the bag would have holes in it.
Oct 16, 2007 at 3:43 pm rating: 90
#110
Khak
What gets me is the dog stuff, yeah, it’s lame to not pick up after your dog, and barking dogs can be a bother, but then you should probably live in a complex that doesn’t allow animals.
In any event,
team invading meth users.
Oct 16, 2007 at 3:50 pm rating: 90
#111
Khak
#9 noname
I lived in a place like that once, and had no idea prior to moving in that crazy people were everywhere. What a nightmare. My neighbor called the cops on me the FIRST night I was there, insisting that I had only moved there to watch him, and that I had a gang of ne’er-do-wells hiding in my closet waiting to attack him.
Oct 16, 2007 at 3:52 pm rating: 90
#112
TeeHee
What a fucking moron. Someone Needs to go Back to third grade.
Oct 16, 2007 at 4:13 pm rating: 90
#113
GUEST PARKER
those temporary parking permits were fucking delicious!
Oct 16, 2007 at 4:20 pm rating: 90
#114
Team Cassandra
I’d like to back up TBone at #95 by saying that all of your points apply to me except #2 as I’ve never been able to afford a car.
So there.
Oct 16, 2007 at 5:46 pm rating: 90
#115
lola
#87 Lara – actually, I think this note was written by an advocacy kid on hug withdrawal
I once lived in such a shitty apartment that we couldn’t use the bathroom because of the mold that kept growing in and on the wall. By the end of our stay there, to use the bathroom, we’d hold our breath and run in and out as fast as we could. Yet, the manager was a complete bitch and wouldn’t let us out of our lease early unless we took her to court, so we just asked for an extended lease on another unit. So I’m familiar with both good and bad managers… this one sounds nucking futz.
Oct 16, 2007 at 6:12 pm rating: 90
#116
todd
the literal representation of this comment section would be a recently poured sidewalk that deceives passersby into thinking it is dry.
QUAGMIRE.
Oct 16, 2007 at 6:41 pm rating: 90
#117
Juliet
#110 Khak.
Team Invading Meth Users. Are you serious? Have you ever shared a building with them? Or is this Lorina’s brand of ‘irony’?
The kind that you can’t tell is irony because it is too straight up?
I’m not po’, tho’, so no worries.
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:14 pm rating: 90
#118
DonkeyCock
Shouldn’t the title read, “You’re too lazy” Instead of “your to lazy”?
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:23 pm rating: 90
#119
NYFifi
#67 The note you wrote your neighbors – did you post it here?
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:26 pm rating: 90
#120
Troy McClure
#117: So ironic, it’s not. So unironic, it is.
#118: Yer darn tootin it should. That’s the joke. (By the way, isn’t it “Donkey Kong”?)
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:36 pm rating: 90
#121
Lorina
#117–Coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo
Boy, for people who claim to love to laugh, you sure take this #(%* serious.
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:38 pm rating: 90
#122
GVI
Oh do they now?
Are you sure about Lorina?
Damn, you can always tell the newbies.
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:45 pm rating: 90
#123
Amy
Spelling and grammatical errors aside, what’s up with the crazy Capitalization? Is she channeling some 19th century Writer?
Oct 16, 2007 at 7:45 pm rating: 90
#124
Canthz_B
Arrghh!! Troy beat me to #118!!! LOL
Oct 16, 2007 at 8:22 pm rating: 90
#125
Canthz_B
ges i wuz to lzy!
Oct 16, 2007 at 8:25 pm rating: 90
#126
Troy McClure
Weird, eh? Maybe his to lazy to read the note.
Oct 16, 2007 at 8:32 pm rating: 90
#127
Canthz_B
There’s a note? LMAO
Oct 16, 2007 at 8:38 pm rating: 90
#128
BoggyWoggy
I like reading the “rants and raves” section of Craigslist for just this reason! Freaks put this stuff out there and everyone comments! However, they certainly do use a lot of cuss words and telling people, “If you don’t like it, then leave.” Ugh! I hate that statement!!!!
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:01 pm rating: 90
#129
Khak
#117, #120
“So ironic it’s not, so unironic, it is.”
That pretty much sums it up.
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:16 pm rating: 90
#130
Juliet
But where does the irony end? It just goes on forever! Infinite irony… love it!
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:21 pm rating: 90
#131
Juliet
I also love the Random capitalizations in these Notes. It Makes me Happy. Channeling a 19th Century writer Indeed!
Oct 16, 2007 at 9:25 pm rating: 90
#132
WanderingPenguin
Lorina, FWIW – I “got” the satire in your original note. Don’t have any idea how it slipped through the cracks, though…
Oct 16, 2007 at 11:39 pm rating: 90
#133
Tardo Mishee!
It was me! I’m the one who ain’t taken care of my own chidren…
my hubby ben in jail
my own butt is two big to move away from this puter…so I ben letin ‘em run like wee squealy piglets all’round the parkin’ lot. Heck, they be fine out der. Der ain’t no bad things, cept 4 the carp we thro out de car winders.
I’se just thinkin’ of startin’ a new daycar sinter 4 other tard kids…I’ll be callin’ it “Mishee’s Day Can 4 Tards!”
Hope ya’ll can come on by and see how happy all them little squealers’ll be on the ceee-ment.
Oct 17, 2007 at 1:16 am rating: 90
#134
Troy McClure
Wow, with the exclamation mark too. It must be the real Mishee! She sounds like almost as big a loser as fake Mishee. (Well maybe not that big a loser.)
Oct 17, 2007 at 3:28 am rating: 90
#135
Wade
Troy, did you notice that the exclamation point was fake, too?
phail!
Oct 17, 2007 at 8:32 am rating: 90
#136
Adam Amato
Let me tell you, I am a property manager and I feel this persons agony. People can be fucking slobs if you don’t keep on top of issues…
Team: Pissed Property Managers
Oct 17, 2007 at 9:01 am rating: 90
#137
Matthew
I work for an apartment and rent house company, we spend two hours every day picking up butts and trash, guaranteed. Thats three guys at four different places. I’m sure you would rather us pick up your trash, than fix the swimming pool, or tennis courts. Also this letter could use a good retype, I think their being to nice. You want to come live with us!
Oct 17, 2007 at 11:03 am rating: 90
#138
Aleks
Maybe Mishee should start a deikr sentr in one of the Dumpsters? Just a thought…
Oct 17, 2007 at 11:24 am rating: 90
#139
WanderingPenguin
#136 and #137 seem to be perpetuating the idea that people who work in property management can’t spell or punctuate properly. Interesting….
I particularly enjoyed “their being to nice”.
Oct 17, 2007 at 11:34 am rating: 90
#140
Shannon
Ha! I can’t get the image of lil’ rugrats frolicing in their lobby “sandboxes.” Who cares about a stray ciggie – better than playing in the litter box.
Oct 17, 2007 at 12:06 pm rating: 90
#141
Shannon
Oops – I should have said “frolicking.” The hideous grammar in this letter has temporarily disabled my internal spell-check.
Oct 17, 2007 at 12:08 pm rating: 90
#142
Mitsu
lol, roaches don’t care if your place is clean or not! And what’s with all the “ghetto” references? she sounds like she’s ghetto to me!
Oct 17, 2007 at 12:57 pm rating: 90
#143
dukendaisy9
Wow. I’m sitting at my desk at my property management job and I stumble across this beauty. I think the chick that wrote this letter might work for my company, which makes it even better. I would like to add that not all of us have ridiculous grammar/punctuation/capitalization issues. See, I wrote this using proper English! (And I used an exclamation point – twice!) Can I post this on my blog? No one reads it…. but my partner in crime would find it delectable!
Team random CapitAlization rocks My world
Oct 17, 2007 at 4:53 pm rating: 90
#144
Olivia
#115 lola on Oct 16, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Did you live in the Pico Lanai apartments in Santa Monica too??
What a nightmare that place was. Size of a shoebox too (efficiency-sized 1 bedroom, wtf?), for only $1200/month plus utilities!
Oct 17, 2007 at 6:33 pm rating: 90
#145
Mishee
Isn’t that the Apts that the Karate Kid lived in? The name is familiar!!
Oct 17, 2007 at 7:06 pm rating: 90
#146
Mishee
#138 – “Maybe Mishee should start a deikr sentr in one of the Dumpsters? Just a thought…”
What the hell does that mean??
Oct 17, 2007 at 7:10 pm rating: 90
#147
Mishee
ok, I read up further back… that was actually pretty stupid considering I have damn good punctuation and spelling, not to mention the fact that I have no children. But whatever.
Oct 17, 2007 at 7:12 pm rating: 90
#148
GVI
Damn girl, calm your ass down, maybe it was a P_A way of messing with you.
Oct 17, 2007 at 7:46 pm rating: 90
#149
Troy McClure
#135: Wade, I reckon if I knew what “phail” was it might be a clue as to whether you’re serious. If there’s any doubt, yes, I noticed. Something about the lack of angle or hollowness gave it away!
Oct 17, 2007 at 8:26 pm rating: 90
#150
bitchphd
My favorite is “this is not a day care.”
No. It’s where people LIVE. So like, yeah, their kids are going to be around doing kid things. Deal with it.
Oct 17, 2007 at 8:53 pm rating: 90
#151
Wade
sorry Troy. I lapsed into leet speak.
phail as in fail, as in feeble attempt to imitate mishee with a fake exclamation point.
Oct 17, 2007 at 9:23 pm rating: 90
#152
sunlotus
Don’t complain about roaches if your place isn’t clean, but if they get too loud you’ll have to get shock collars for them. And then bring ‘em to meet me. What the hell, they can even enter the coloring contest. It IS Christmas, after all – trash-dumped, cigarette-butt covered Christmas in the ghetto. God Bless Us Every One.
Oct 17, 2007 at 11:16 pm rating: 90
#153
Tardo Mishee!
Hay! Hoo bin pertendin’ they’s me!
I tell ya’ll, if that ho cum enyware neer my squeelin’ kids, I WIL git up and WHOMP ‘em!
If ya’ll no hoo’s triing to pertend they’s me, you just beder warn em! I’m Tardo Mishee! and I ain’t takin’ no more shit!
Oct 18, 2007 at 12:56 am rating: 90
#154
Tardo Mishee!
oh, and I forgot to tell ya’
i kepe thinkin bout that daycar. Britney Spears’ babies is here. That PROOVES that I’m givin’ kids a saf parkin’ lot fer playin’ in.
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:01 am rating: 90
#155
lola
#150 bitchphd: have you been watching Kid Nation? I’m serious – one of the girls was being ripped to shreds for constantly saying “deal with it” – too funny
#144 olivia: so you had the over-priced CA version of my slum dream home?
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:18 am rating: 90
#156
Moon
Man, I LOVE this! I wish the managers of several buildings I lived in did something like this.
People are dicks until you call them on their crap!
Oct 18, 2007 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
#157
Veggie
Wow. If you are going to send out a letter like this to however many people, shouldn’t you at least take the time to punctuate? I’m not looking for perfect grammar (though decent grammar is always a plus) and Lord knows I can not spell so who would I be to criticize that, but for the love of god, it’s called a “period”. Use it more than once a month.
Oct 22, 2007 at 12:25 pm rating: 90
#158
Jocelyn
i can hear the grammar police’s sirens right now. & i also think it’s great how bi-polar this notice is.
Oct 22, 2007 at 7:41 pm rating: 90
#159
Harrison
Was this not written by Angela from The Office?
Oct 23, 2007 at 10:11 am rating: 90
#160
GVI
Wow Harrison, you just broght back a flashback of the Christmas party they had.
Oct 23, 2007 at 10:28 am rating: 90
#161
Katie
OMG how on earth did this woman manage to became a resident manager? The lack of punctuation and the random capitalization are just the beginning of the horribleness of this letter. Eeek, it makes my head hurt just looking at it!
Oct 24, 2007 at 6:05 pm rating: 90
#162
jane doe
Dude, I so don’t want to live there. References to roaches, fleas and ghetto style furniture dumping. Oh my.
Oct 25, 2007 at 7:21 am rating: 90
#163
Hannah
Springfield, MO is my hometown–I bet I delivered pizza to this complex before.
Oct 28, 2007 at 7:28 pm rating: 90
#164
Rocky
but the fleas were FUCKING DELICIOUS!
Nov 5, 2007 at 12:25 pm rating: 90
#165
Whimspiration
Gotta love the line about how you must torture your dog (shock collar) or you’ll be evicted.
Nov 23, 2007 at 5:38 am rating: 90
#166 free markets, free people, free papers
[...] doozy of an apartment manager note from oakland, california. our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 [...]
Dec 4, 2007 at 8:45 pm rating: 90
#167
Jo Mama
I had to re-read each paragraph twice just to be sure this notice wasn’t referring to my current apartment complex. It’s not.. at least I don’t think.. but it definitely could be.
May 18, 2008 at 9:17 pm rating: 90
#168 sheena is a paintballer
[...] your to lazy digg_skin = ‘compact’; reddit! stumble it! function fbs_click() { [...]
Jul 10, 2008 at 6:08 pm rating: 90
#169
bobby
UGGGH some of these are valid concerns but adding the rhetorical patronizing questions is just so fucking wrong!!!
Jul 18, 2008 at 1:35 pm rating: 90
#170
ellemarie
maybe someone else already mentioned this but really…
Al Gore knows you printed 115 copies of a THREE-PAGE COMPLAINT.
[All of which were no doubt immediately tossed in front of the apartment building.]
Jul 26, 2008 at 2:19 am rating: 90
#171
Tech Guy
I guess literacy is not a requisite to be an apartment manager…
Nov 27, 2008 at 9:19 am rating: 90
#172
Miranda
Wow I just Love it When people don’t Use Commas and capitalize Randomly don’t you?
Dec 4, 2008 at 6:16 pm rating: 90
#173
Melissa
wow that sounds EXACTLY like my landlord!
May 26, 2009 at 3:55 pm rating: 90
#174
Missing Lunch
“Surprises that everyone will enjoy” – the landlord’s going to decorate the Christmas tree with dog poops?
Jun 29, 2009 at 11:33 am rating: 90
#175 At least in prison they get to play basketball in the courtyard | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] It’s fall! Here are a few updates and several complaints. [...]
Oct 13, 2010 at 9:25 pm rating: 90
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