Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”
I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?
related: WoW, indeed
170 responses so far ↓
#1
Marklar
Marklar!
May 18, 2009 at 9:50 pm rating: 90
#2
Priss
The bathroom? Uhhh… I sure don’t want anyone smoking in my bathroom. That stuff stinks to high hell. I go in there for clean, not sludge.
May 18, 2009 at 9:53 pm rating: 90
#3
Resident Grammarian esq
I love how they justify pissing on the fence. What the hell indeed.
May 18, 2009 at 9:56 pm rating: 90
#4
anglophile
Wow. You know you’ve really annoyed your mom when she writes the word piss.
May 18, 2009 at 9:58 pm rating: 90
#5
oi
I want to know age of this people. Seriously WTF?
May 18, 2009 at 10:02 pm rating: 90
#6
Brainsmmm...nevermind
I find peeing in empty Mountain Dew bottles much more convenient!
May 18, 2009 at 10:03 pm rating: 90
#7
Beanster
“Use It” looked like “visit” to me. Mum is telling him to visit the bathroom? visit her to pay his respects?
May 18, 2009 at 10:04 pm rating: 90
#8
anhella
Uh yeah, you could pee in the toilet a few times before flushing, that’s what people do in area’s where the water is monitored.
May 18, 2009 at 10:04 pm rating: 90
#9
jfruh
Ha ha, I love how we learn that “his garage” = “his mother’s garage”.
May 18, 2009 at 10:06 pm rating: 90
#10
Rhiannon
Team Mother on this one.
She’s obviously cool enough to let her son and his immature friend smoke cigarettes and bum around the garage all night… the least they can do is clean up after themselves.
May 18, 2009 at 10:07 pm rating: 90
#11
oi
What is this? Haven’t you heard of decency?
May 18, 2009 at 10:20 pm rating: 90
#12
Canthz_B
Doesn’t it get warm in California?
You’d think that 5 to 7 guys could pool their funds and buy a damned bucket!!
…and a few large ashtrays…
May 18, 2009 at 10:22 pm rating: 90
#13
Canthz_B
But Mom, I read there are wildfires! The guys and I were just protecting your investment!!
May 18, 2009 at 10:24 pm rating: 90
#14
oi
Mom has really tried to make this note PA worthy: six sentences and five exclamation marks, random capitalization, underlines and above all, piss, butts and hell in a single note. She almost gets 7/10.
but son’s actions are so outrageous, mom’s note actually scores zero!
May 18, 2009 at 10:27 pm rating: 90
#15
TheOldSchool
Mom’s angry because Eric and his guy pals are always in the garage. Even when its 100 degrees plus outside, she can’t even get one of them into the swimming pool.
May 18, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#16
aaa
Chris in Riverside and his friends sound like gross, weasley douche-fuckers who need their asses repeatedly kicked by their mothers. Especially Eric’s mother. She seems like she’d do a really good job at it.
May 18, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#17
Stacy
Ah, the rationalization of (semi) youth. Yes, because your mother is going to be so thrilled that you choose to stain her fence instead of going in the toilet because you’re saving water! Aren’t you special? Of course, I don’t think her *grass* is going to be so happy.
May 18, 2009 at 11:18 pm rating: 90
#18
sam
go team water conservation! (seriously.)
May 18, 2009 at 11:28 pm rating: 90
#19
aaa
Dear Chris in Riverside,
Loser too-obsessed-with-gaming fence-pissers don’t get fucked. Gaming in and of itself isn’t a problem. However, it is a problem when it becomes a substitute for normal human social skills and the ability to interact with society at large. Obviously you haven’t figured out the whole acceptable behavior thing if you can rationalize pissing on your friend’s mother’s fence. If you want to get laid by a normal, not-gross/not-douchey human, you need to cut that shit the fuck out. If you’re asexual, have taken a vow of celibacy, or have resorted to the family dog or your friends, I suppose this isn’t a problem.
Sincerely,
aaa
May 18, 2009 at 11:31 pm rating: 90
#20
leftfoot
Oh, LANers.
The only thing worse are Magic players.
May 19, 2009 at 12:00 am rating: 90
#21
Brooser
I’m gonna be optimistic and point out that maybe Chris in Riverside was trying to be considerate by not waking his mother with a bajillion toilet flushes throughout the night. Maybe he thought she’d rather get sleep… guess not! But no, the “multiple uses before flushing” idea seems to work alright. Or you could get your own place…
Also, ashtrays would be good. That shit is nasty, especially for those who actually have to pick it up. -_- Volunteer work sucks, especially since most people don’t give a damn about littering.
May 19, 2009 at 12:20 am rating: 90
#22
unholyghost2003
At least it isn’t LARP?
May 19, 2009 at 1:14 am rating: 90
#23
shmunk
chris and eric– i hope that all that time spent “socializing” in a garage causes your testicles to shrivel up. not that anyone really sees them.
May 19, 2009 at 2:09 am rating: 90
#24
ohyeeeeah
7 ner.. computer specialists. Night after night, pissing outside the garage. No water faucet for miles.
I would not dare to use any of those keyboards or eating from that bowl of snack….
May 19, 2009 at 2:15 am rating: 90
#25
Canthz_B
I don’t understand LANers…they get so pissy about things!
May 19, 2009 at 2:55 am rating: 90
#26
Jim
His mom should have grabbed his hand and forced him to slap his own face while saying “Stop slapping yourself, Nerd. Stop slapping yourself, Nerd.”
LAN centre – Humph. GEEK centre more like.
May 19, 2009 at 4:37 am rating: 90
#27
Dangger
That is just plain aggressive lol!
May 19, 2009 at 6:51 am rating: 90
#28
pegolas
Eric has never even touched a boobie.
May 19, 2009 at 7:36 am rating: 90
#29
anglophile
I like how mom starts out in all-caps mode, then switches to random capitalization. By the time she makes it to his name the second time, he has sunk so low as to not deserve to have his name capitalized.
May 19, 2009 at 7:53 am rating: 90
#30
TTMS
That is gross. I’m on the understandably aggressive mother’s side on this one.
May 19, 2009 at 8:05 am rating: 90
#31
Phalange
Great, now I’m gonna have the “Don’t Whiz On the Electric Fence!” song from Ren and Stimpy stuck in my head the entire day.
May 19, 2009 at 8:09 am rating: 90
#32
kmd
What in the hot fuck is “lanning?”
Is that a new code word for circle jerks?
May 19, 2009 at 8:35 am rating: 90
#33
stickman
Lanning is geek talk. It is a code word for smoking that maryjuana stuff and surfing for porn. They sit around and drink Rockstar and wonder what a real girl feels like.
May 19, 2009 at 8:52 am rating: 90
#34
Brade
I assume this “Eric” is Eric Cartman.
I’m sure his mom would be willing to bring down a portable toilet from time to time.
May 19, 2009 at 9:14 am rating: 90
#35
andipandi
team mom. just gross.
May 19, 2009 at 9:19 am rating: 90
#36
Gunderson105
These Gamers suck.
Real gamers don’t smoke and pee on fences, they wear Depends and get sugar rushes via Pixie sticks and Mountain Dew.
May 19, 2009 at 9:33 am rating: 90
#37
claw71
Well, mom, what did you expect when you let your good-for-nothing son clear out your garage and relegate you to parking on the street? What did you think was going to happen when he dropped out of UCLA and decided to take online course to complete the degree he worked on for six years–after taking 18 months off to think about his options?
Sometimes you’ve got to be cruel to be kind, momma. Kick Eric out and let him set up his LAN center in a dinged-up trailer outside of Bakersfield. It won’t be easy but eventually Eric will learn to trade his cigarettes for ramen noodles and one confrontation with the biker next door who takes Eric’s outdoor urinary practices as a signs of disrespect will have him on the fast track to wearing big boy pants.
May 19, 2009 at 10:01 am rating: 90
#38
Woman on the Verge
Apparently Mom didn’t understand that the boys were just marking their territory…
May 19, 2009 at 10:18 am rating: 90
#39
claw71
After further review I think I have to call out Chris. Chris identifies Eric as a friend. A friend who lives wiht his mom, pisses on the fence because he’s too lazy to go use the bathroom and doesn’t see the need to pick up cigarette butts. I love how Chris tries to justify pissing on the fence as though it’s some sort of ecological favor his doing for all of us but yet there are cigarette butts are strewn about. That proves that these guys are just a bunch of lazy dorks who probably can’t wait for the next remake of Tomb Raider so they can start jerking off on the fence as well. Oh Lara, Oh, Oh!
I’d have a lot more respect for Chis if he would have qualified his relationship with Eric by using the phrase “a dude I know” but Chris chose “friend”. That means Chris is a bigger loser than Eric because at least Eric has the balls to be a loser on his home turf where he invokes his mother’s wrath.
Where’s a drive-by when you need it?
PS: Who wants to bet that “morning” in Chris’ and Eric’s world is some time before 3:30PM?
May 19, 2009 at 11:00 am rating: 90
#40
TheOldSchool
At leasht thish family’sh decishishive. There’sh no one sitting on the fence.
May 19, 2009 at 11:01 am rating: 90
#41
Army of DOuche-ness
This seems a bit out of line: pissing on a fence is not technically a dis-respect in any way.
1. Urine is sterile and largely water -it harms nothing (sidenote: the main chemical besides water in urine, urea, is a popular product used in anti-fungal or athlete’s foot/foot odor products)
2. they actually ARE saving water, which is important
3. i think women sometimes think it’s gross just because they don’t have a lifetime of experience in non-chalant, piss on anything, experience…or they’re just mad/jealous.
May 19, 2009 at 11:20 am rating: 90
#42
anonymrs
Have you ever SEEN what cigarette smoke does to the inside of a computer? *SHUDDER*
May 19, 2009 at 11:38 am rating: 90
#43
ClickClack
And how did Eric’s mom discover their wrongdoing? She saw it all on streaming video.
May 19, 2009 at 12:36 pm rating: 90
#44
Actually a Girl
Maybe it’s b/c I’m a girl…but back in high school when we had LAN parties/D&D late night at my mom’s we just flushed the toilet…it’s not like mom didn’t know we were there…
I kinda want to know *why* he didn’t feel like he could flush the toilet? I mean, if mom’s going to let him keep living with her and have LAN parties in the garage, she should probably be okay with constant toilet use…
May 19, 2009 at 1:01 pm rating: 90
#45
Not A Mom
I’d electrify the motherfucking fence. Dat shit is nasty.
May 19, 2009 at 4:18 pm rating: 90
#46
Eric
In my garage it was Dean guitars, Peavey amps and pot. Roaches were rolled and smoked, and piss might’ve been all over the toilet, but never generated a note from mom.
Team Rocker/Stoner Erics!!
May 19, 2009 at 4:32 pm rating: 90
#47
oi!
“my friend eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage”
what caught my eye when I first read it, was word “essentially”. I speculate two theories:
1. Chris meant to say: Eric has essentially a “LAN center ” consisting of two eighties desktop ( they had those in eighties, right?) fitted with 3D monster maze.
2. Eric’s last name is “essentially”.
Any other theories guys?
May 19, 2009 at 5:40 pm rating: 90
#48
Lee
I was WonderinG, HoW to use CaPs in my NOtEs… ApparEntly, they’rE uSeD randomlY….. Quite coMMon in PANs
May 20, 2009 at 6:07 am rating: 90
#49
The Stabbing Pen
Pissing on trees is fine, other peoples’ property not so much. I’m a big fan of outdoor urination in general though. Very liberating.
May 20, 2009 at 12:50 pm rating: 90
#50
wolfpack
Show me a PA note from a mom to her kids, and I’ll show you kids that weren’t hit hard enough growing up.
May 20, 2009 at 1:06 pm rating: 90
#51
Anythingelseisavoteforbears
what the hell, eric.
May 22, 2009 at 3:04 am rating: 90
#52
sianz
i would secretly piss on his LAN equipment and computers.
May 31, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: 90
#53
Uncle B
Soon, All Yankee Doodle Dandies will pis in bottles and sell it for fertilizer for you veggie gardens! The price of oil, per bbl is on the exponential rise again! Fertilizers made from, and with, petroleum products are about to go through the roof, unemployment is rising fast, underemployment faster, but count on it, you are still worth pis, just keep it diluted and in the garden where it helps stave off the coming great hunger!
May 31, 2009 at 3:55 pm rating: 90
#54
orangetiki
You worry about flushing the toilet too many times? What the hell?
Jun 1, 2009 at 3:50 pm rating: 90
#55
Missing Lunch
/me makes mental note to never drink the Mountain Dew at a gamer’s house.
Jun 29, 2009 at 10:48 am rating: 90
#56 Civil diso-brattiness | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] Cigarettes & energy drinks [...]
Nov 28, 2010 at 2:50 pm rating: 90
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