2 notes, 1 cupcake

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August 28th, 2009 · 94 comments

This restroom sign from Baton Rouge, Louisiana manages to combine variations on two of the genre’s most irritating cliches — the rhyme that must be flushed and the clip art that must be stopped…with some additional ridiculous floral clip art thrown in for good measure.

And yet, somehow, this note manages to offend me even more. I don’t think I’ll look at cupcakes the same way again.

extra credit: “it’s your birthday and we do give a shit”

FILED UNDER: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · spelling and grammar police · toilet

94 responses so far ↓

#1 Elysia

Oh, god, that cupcake one is horrible! Who thinks something like that is clever?

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:15 am rating: 90

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- #1.1 Watchtower
  
  I guess cupcakes actually taste better in the bathroom. My brother was right all these years…
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 12:46 am rating: 90
- #1.2 snee
  
  my brother used to spend a lot of time in the bathroom too. not with cupcakes.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 4:03 am rating: 90
- #1.3 TheOldSchool
  
  No fair, snee. You can’t drop a bombshell like this, and just leave everyone hanging?
  
  Just what WAS your brother up to in the bathroom?
  
  My guess is that he was furtively unwrapping a smile with Little Debbie.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 5:52 pm rating: 90
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#2 QuarterRoy00

So I’m allowed to pee on your cupcake?

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:18 am rating: 90

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- #2.1 T imo®
  
  Hey kids who wants some R Kelly cupcakes!?
  Awwwwww yeeeeaaaah!
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 9:14 am rating: 90
- #2.2 Car RamRod
  
  Personally I prefer my cupcakes with a good layer of fecal mist.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 11:05 am rating: 90
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#3 erin

I found cocaine on a church toilet seat in my janitor days, wonder what witty PA notes involving cooking ingredients & clip art I could’ve posted about that..

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:18 am rating: 90

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- #3.1 Canthz_B
  
  Is toilet seat snorting legal?
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 9:12 am rating: 90
- #3.2 TheOldSchool
  
  erin,
  
  Was it white?
  
  It was mine. I’d like it back, please.
  
  If you “lost” it, I also accept payment via cash, paypal, or goofballs.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: 90
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#4 Rio

Are those fried eggs surrounding that flower?

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:27 am rating: 90

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- #4.1 QuarterRoy00
  
  That’s what I thought at first. Upon further inspection, they appear to be daisies. Apparently the poster wants stay clean for that night’s daisy chain…
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 12:46 am rating: 90
- #4.2 nigedo
  
  It seems the author was searching for a good graphical metaphor for ‘sprinkling’, hence the daisies. But why did they add that one large sunflower head? Maybe someone has left more than a sprinkle on the seat before now?
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 10:51 am rating: 90
- #4.3 farcical aquatic ceremony
  
  Yes, the use of that sunflower–with its large, brown, rounded center–does seem unfortunate. Likewise, the use of urine-colored paper for the “be considerate” sign…
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 4:04 pm rating: 90
- #4.4 nigedo
  
  I am always considerate of “others-do”, particularly when others-do is all over the floor.
  
  Sep 1, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: 90
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#5 jc

So, I’m confused…Are we supposed to be peeing on cupcakes?

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:29 am rating: 90

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#6 AuntyBron

Toliet? Is that found in Joliet?

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:44 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #6.1 TheOldSchool
  
  Herald News, Joliet, Illinois
  Aug 28, 2009 … Vince Viriyakul, owner of Mr. Beef and Gyros in Joliet, said he will change his name to Mr. Beef if he gets 2000 Facebook friends.
  
  How many FB friends would it take for him to change his name to Mr. Toliet?
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 12:31 pm rating: 90
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#7 Watchtower

I should be flattered, but I would actually be disturbed to see that horrible smiley giving me the crack eyes with a thumbs up while watching me pee. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate coaching and constructive criticism as much as the next guy during bodily functions, but something about that grin seems ingenuine. You should not trust this smiley….

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:51 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #7.1 T imo®
  
  He obviously has a chloroform rag hidden behind his back and a van with no windows parked outside.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 9:15 am rating: 90
- #7.2 Car RamRod
  
  All he needs now are rapist glasses and a pedophile beard.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 11:09 am rating: 90
- #7.3 russian
  
  a beard WITH sunflowers
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 12:19 pm rating: 90
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#8 Kelly

And here I thought I was the only one who pissed flowers all over my cupcakes.

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:01 am rating: 90

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- #8.1 Kelly
  
  Wow, my comment reads like a kink as described by someone who’s really inept with euphemisms.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 1:03 am rating: 90
- #8.2 GK
  
  Pissing flowers over cupcakes might even be a “kink” these days. After some of the stuff people get up to, I wouldn’t even bat an eyelid.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 3:48 am rating: 90
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#9 Canthz_B

Buns are for bakeries, not toilet seats.
Please be considerate and hover.

Yeah, right.

Wipe the seat, sit your ass down and make pittles.
You ain’t home!

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:05 am rating: 90

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#10 Canthz_B

I too would be angry if someone pissed in my Smiley’s eye!

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:08 am rating: 90

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- #10.1 Car RamRod
  
  Yea, but these signs are just asking for it. It’s only a matter of time before some disgruntled gentleman uses his stream of justice to put out the hate.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 11:11 am rating: 90
- #10.2 P-force
  
  or a bugger flicker creates a masterpiece!
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 12:35 pm rating: 90
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#11 Watchtower

Apparently, the worst nightmare of the citizens of Baton Rouge had finally materialized. The Sprinkle Sprites and TP Gnomes had formed an uneasy alliance after much bloodshed. You see, the senseless violence ended after the heirs to each kingdom were caught in the act in the cupcake walk-in fridge. The Sprinkle Sprites and TP Gnomes sought mediation from the Mad Bomber who suggested they pool their powers to make the Baton Rouge restrooms as unsanitary as possible. With no TP, it would be impossible to undo the damage wrought by the constant sprinkling. There was much rejoicing in both kingdoms, and the citizens of Baton Rouge were powerless to stop the chain of events that unfolded.

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:14 am rating: 90

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#12 Canthz_B

“Sprinkles are for cupcakes” is cocktail party code for “The Hostess is into Golden Showers”.

This can often be overheard in not so hushed whispers as the crab puffs are distributed amongst groups of men.

Not to be confused with groups of women discussing crab puffs. This usually involves comparison of various creams and salves.

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:32 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #12.1 meh
  
  If you would like some cerry pie, talk to the hors d’oeuvres over there with the crab puffs. Oh, and do youself a favor and use a napkin.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 6:40 pm rating: 90
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#13 notolaf

Sprinkle daisies!

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:37 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #13.1 Canthz_B
  
  Another reason not to eat the daisies!
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 1:49 am rating: 90
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#14 Canthz_B

No one will take the second sign seriously, decorated as it is with the lower half of a clown’s face.

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:37 am rating: 90

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#15 leftfoot

This makes me want to line the toilet seat with cupcakes just to play a cruel joke on my husband. Half awake, he’ll go into pee, douse the cupcakes and cry.

But I do have one question about the yellow note.. Besides the fact it made the old Sesame Street song “One of these things is not like the others”.. wtf is a toliet?

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:39 am rating: 90

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- #15.1 Car RamRod
  
  That would be a cruel joke. However, it might make for a good addition to some sort of ‘urine marksmanship’ boot camp. It could be alongside writing cursive in the snow, filling up test tubes from a distance, etc. But all with ones dinner placed precariously nearby for incentive’s sake.
  
  Perhaps I’m a traitor to men for even suggesting the idea.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 11:18 am rating: 90
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#16 Canthz_B

She sprinkles. She sprinkles not. She sprinkles. She sprinkles not. She sprinkles!

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:50 am rating: 90

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#17 Jesse Ruderman

“Be considerate of others, do not steal the toilet paper”

That doesn’t even rhyme!

Aug 28, 2009 at 1:55 am rating: 90

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- #17.1 Canthz_B
  
  Be more considerate of others,
  Do not purloin the toilet paper.
  I’d use it if I had my druthers,
  Don’t execute the paper caper.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 2:25 am rating: 90
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#18 Canthz_B

Make whiz, not signs.

Aug 28, 2009 at 2:37 am rating: 90

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#19 snee

mmmmmmmmm, cupcakes!

Aug 28, 2009 at 4:07 am rating: 90

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#20 Pippa

I am thinking that I should put this sign in my bathroom. Then I will go off cakes and lose weight.

Can anyone think of a rhyme for chocolate?

Aug 28, 2009 at 6:00 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #20.1 T imo®
  
  Backfat?
  Mudflat?
  Splat?
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 9:19 am rating: 90
- #20.2 GhostWriter
  
  crock o’ shit?
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 10:09 am rating: 90
- #20.3 Snippy
  
  knock a zit?
  talk a bit?
  block a tit?
  hawk a writ?
  lock a kit?
  sock a Brit?
  flock o’wit?
  rock a clit?
  mock a twit?
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 6:21 pm rating: 90
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#21 simlin' sam

Those flowers look herpetic. Maybe that clipart should see a doctor.

Aug 28, 2009 at 9:11 am rating: 90

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- #21.1 Geek Goddess
  
  *admires use of the word ‘herpetic’*
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 12:25 pm rating: 90
- #21.2 simlin' sam
  
  Yeah, I’m pretty proud of that one too.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 2:41 pm rating: 90
- #21.3 Watchtower
  
  I thought it was herpeleptic. But then again, some things are strange in Canada.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 5:54 pm rating: 90
- #21.4 TheOldSchool
  
  watchtower,
  
  You’re spot on. As usual.
  
  Canadians eat more cottage cheese, per capita, than the rest of the world’s non-cottage cheese eating peoples combined.
  
  Cottage cheese is, of course, high in acidophilus, which is a natural must-buy-product of LSD 25.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 6:17 pm rating: 90
- #21.5 oi
  
  hey TOS,
  do you live in Canada?
  here in US weed is very hard to get. I ‘ll pay you million bucks if you sell me some for my daily fix.
  You can’t say you do not have any. your comments are dead give away.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 6:29 pm rating: 90
- #21.6 TheOldSchool
  
  Oi,
  
  Yes, I can answer that.
  
  The easiest way to estimate the distance (in inches) between an alligator’s eyes is to estimate its length, from snout to tail tip (in feet), and then convert that number from feet to inches.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 7:21 pm rating: 90
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#22 ClearlyDemented

I’m really unable to comment on the content of the notes because I’m so enthralled by that toilet seat. How many layers must a guy lift up before it’s okay to tinkle? Is it airtight? OMG, is this the remedy for fecal mist?!

Aug 28, 2009 at 9:31 am rating: 90

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- #22.1 N/A
  
  Ooh, ooh, ooh, I know this one! That’s the toilet seat we have at home. The small one is for little kids, I think it’s called the Family Seat if memory serves and it’s available on amazon. There’s a little clip to hold the small seat in the lid if you don’t need it. We don’t use it anymore (just keep it latched up so it’s basically a thicker lid) because the offspring is big enough to use the regular seat but it comes in handy when we have smaller guests visiting.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 10:28 am rating: 90
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#23 dragon

doesn’t anyone think the cupcakes were fucking delicious?

Aug 28, 2009 at 9:45 am rating: 90

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#24 Boo

The manically impish expression of the peanut M&M feels like an attempt to goad the reader into disobeying the note.

Aug 28, 2009 at 10:48 am rating: 90

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#25 aaa

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, sit your ass down on the seat when you piss and you won’t have that problem anymore.

Aug 28, 2009 at 11:16 am rating: 90

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#26 Shayner

Seriously, who sprinkles on toilet seats? That’s lame. Personally, I spray on them. Especially when I have diarrhea so bad that I’m p*ssing out my a**hole, it gets doused! Mom always said, if you’re gonna do it, don’t half-ass it.

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm rating: 90

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#27 Shayner

P.S.

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm rating: 90

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#28 Shayner

P.S.
What the hell does being sweet have to do with wiping off the seat? I’ve grown so accustomed to wiping up after myself that it’s just expected. Isn’t it considered a gendered duty by now, right along with putting the seat down so the ladies in the household don’t have to partake of that oh-so-terrible act themselves? Doesn’t being “sweet” imply some sort of reward? It should, damn it! Mom, next time you come and visit my bachelor pad and I put the seat down before you go in, I want a DAMN cupcake!!!

Aug 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #28.1 Nick
  
  She might sprinkle on the cupcake, watch out.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm rating: 90
- #28.2 meh
  
  Shayner, you’re much too considerate in your bathroom habits. In my home, for example, the rule is look before you sit. Either the seat is down and I miss (after which I may or may not get it all wiped up), or it is up and I don’t miss. With the look-before-you-sit method your ass doesn’t get wet in either circumstance. Don’t press your ideal dry-assed world on me. If you want the world to be dry-assed you’re on your own.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 1:43 pm rating: 90
- #28.3 Silhouette
  
  Indeed, the much better rhyme is to be NEAT and wipe the seat.
  
  Man, when I lose it and start writing PAN, I’ll rock at it. “If you sneeze, spray the lysol please, so that the flu, stays with you.”
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 5:20 pm rating: 90
- #28.4 meh
  
  Everyone knows lies such as these are told to children in order to perpetuate the lies passed down from one generation to another. Also, this particular rhyme never specifies which seat one should wipe, making peoples’ minds turn directly to the gutter. This enforces the shame western culture has about our bodies and their functions. If we are not reminded constantly to be ashamed, then we would lose all squeamishness and Christianity would crumble. So take your oppressive little nursery rhymes elsewhere!
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 6:19 pm rating: 90
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#29 bowloftoast

This must be a regional phenomenon. Where I come from, sprinkles are for cupcakes and toilet seats. Having hundreds of multi-coloured jimmies embedded into one’s ass after visitng the toilet is really the only thing that makes the trip worthwhile…and of course we lift the seat.
Who are these people?

Aug 28, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: 90

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- #29.1 Canthz_B
  
  Women who’d rather not fall in?
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 8:14 pm rating: 90
- #29.2 TheOldSchool
  
  Ahoy, bowloftoast: In the Pacific Northwest, it is second nature for everyone to first coat the toilet seats with frosting, and then add the sprinkles, before sitting down.
  
  (Chocolate chips, too, if we’re feeling flush.)
  
  To do otherwise seems insanely puritanical.
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 8:27 pm rating: 90
- #29.3 bowloftoast
  
  Thanks TOS, I always enjoy finding out more about other cultures.
  
  While I find your frosting variation intriguing, the chocolate chips seem a little extravagant for day-to-day use. We like to keep the fancy stuff for only the most special occasions when the village elders spend days preparing a giant three-foot round sponge cake with a hole in the middle. The cake is decorated with sprinkles, frosting, (often) chocolate chips, gummy worms, daisies, fried eggs, and smiley faces. Then everyone takes their turn at a big Town Hall social…
  …man, I love Mother’s Day!
  
  Aug 28, 2009 at 9:23 pm rating: 90
- #29.4 TheOldSchool
  
  Interesting. In this way, coffin-dodgers can appear useful by sharing the old ways with the young.
  
  One of our elders tells of pale-skinned, round-eyed people who put crazy glue on public toilet seats. Have you heard these tales?
  
  Aug 29, 2009 at 3:03 am rating: 90
- #29.5 NewMoon
  
  CB: Women who’d rather not fall in?
  
  Women who run with cupcakes.
  
  Aug 29, 2009 at 10:21 am rating: 90
- #29.6 bowloftoast
  
  TOS, what you are describing here is very similar to a ritual that occurs just prior to weddings in our land. The elders select the most sun-deprived citizen, with the least diamond shaped eyes, and sends them forth to apply the glue to public toilet seats throughout the village.
  
  Whoever sits on the glued seat is then included as an honourary member of the wedding party. We call that person the ringbearer.
  
  Aug 29, 2009 at 3:27 pm rating: 90
- #29.7 TheOldSchool
  
  BOT,
  
  And the ringbearer is thus accorded this seat of honor.
  
  That’s a truly lovely and joyous tradition. Thank you for sharing it.
  
  Aug 29, 2009 at 4:59 pm rating: 90
- #29.8 russian
  
  bowloftoast, people don’t waste this wonderful cake you describe by using it as a throne do they? what about all the eating potential? Nooooo…..
  
  Aug 30, 2009 at 11:12 am rating: 90
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#30 Banessa

i like how the first one is completely opposite of each other. At first glance it seems that leftover piss (please just put your ass on the seat, it won’t kill you) is fluffy and whimsical, but to steal toilet paper, well… you might as well get your fingers chopped off and shoved up your ass.

Aug 29, 2009 at 2:13 am rating: 90

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#31 Neeners

Are the unique clip art notes supposed to be cute and endearing? More like ridiculous.

The least of ones worries are sprinkles in public bathrooms. The only people who look for sprinkles on public toilet seats are the same ones who make cutesy notes and poems about it.

Can anyone think of a cutesy poem about explosive diarrhea or feminine hygiene products not put in their proper place? Those are more heinous than sprinkles.

Aug 29, 2009 at 4:07 pm rating: 90

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- #31.1 Phil McAvity
  
  “If you pebble-dash the bowl, wipe it out, you dirty mole. :)”
  
  “Streaks and smears down the sides make the baby Jesus crieds.”
  
  “If, when you have had a shat, something on the floor’s gone splat, cover your shame with a mat!”
  
  “Bloody napkins on the floor? Oh I say, what a bore. Just pick them up, you skanky whore. Kisses.”
  
  “Mr Potty has indigestion: no more condoms is my suggestion!”
  
  Aug 31, 2009 at 11:38 pm rating: 90
- #31.2 Phil McAvity
  
  Wipe up every drop and smear
  Cause your momma don’t work here.
  
  Sep 1, 2009 at 1:32 am rating: 90
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#32 C.S. Harmonikah

Bathroom signs that lame, make me want to shit in the sink, just for spite.

Aug 30, 2009 at 12:15 am rating: 90

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- #32.1 TheOldSchool
  
  Agreed, but with one caveat: I’d spit in the sink, just for shite.
  
  Aug 30, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: 90
- #32.2 C.S. Harmonikah
  
  I dont know what muslims that that believe that Ali was the rightful successor to Muhammad have to do with anything
  
  Aug 30, 2009 at 12:47 am rating: 90
- #32.3 Phil McAvity
  
  You’re bathroom sighns really stink — that’s why I crapped in teh sink. xxx
  
  Sep 1, 2009 at 3:03 am rating: 90
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#33 mac

This reminds me of why I’m getting divorced….

My wife is a terrible housekeeper. Everytime I go to take a piss, the sink is full of dishes.

Sep 1, 2009 at 12:39 am rating: 90

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- #33.1 Canthz_B
  
  You’re going to need OJ’s team of lawyers, my friend!
  
  Sep 1, 2009 at 2:04 am rating: 90
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#34 Matt

Did anyone else notice that “toilet” isn’t even spelled correctly on the yellow page…? Fail.

Sep 2, 2009 at 2:30 pm rating: 90

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#35 Elodie

hahahaha! Tt’s fine, cupcakes have too much sugar anyways! Elodie

Slim Girl Diary

Sep 3, 2009 at 11:31 am rating: 90

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#36 Lhyzz

Annoying as those signs are, they’re necessary. How many gross women are there out there that can’t simply put their ass on the seat to pee, and then leave their mess behind for others? How self-centered!

I’d plaster public toilets with signs that say, “If your ass is too fine to touch the seat, and you insist on hovering above it, the least you could do is lift the seat and clean up after yourself. You disgusting slag.” It doesn’t rhyme, but it gets the point across.

Sep 3, 2009 at 5:06 pm rating: 90

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#37 magickat

best title EVER! hahaha! too funny!

Sep 5, 2009 at 12:37 am rating: 90

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#38 James

I don’t know about cupcakes, but I sure love to bake boxer brownies in there.

Oct 5, 2009 at 11:41 am rating: 90

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#39 Nothing says | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] related: sprinkles are for cupcakes [...]

Nov 29, 2009 at 9:09 pm rating: 90

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#40 Your “Brown Friends” | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] 2 notes, 1 cupcake Share13mail [...]

Sep 25, 2010 at 8:33 am rating: 90

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#41 Fat AND happy | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] related: A citation from the fat police; Sprinkles are for cupcakes [...]

Aug 31, 2011 at 9:33 pm rating: 90

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#42 Couplets for the Crapper | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely [...]

Sep 13, 2011 at 7:02 am rating: 90

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#43 Fun Crisis ! Popular Games – Funny Videos – Amazing Pics » Blog Archive Just look at all the fonts I give! » Fun Crisis ! Popular Games - Funny Videos - Amazing Pics

[…] related: The “more is more” principle of design […]

Jan 16, 2014 at 9:05 pm rating: 90

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