Passive-Aggressive WiFi | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

← Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls) 2009: the year in painfully polite and hilariously hostile notes →

WiFi for passive-aggressives

December 30th, 2009 · 168 comments

When even leaving a note is too direct…you folks with wireless networks still named “linksys” or “trendnet” are clearly missing out on a priceless opportunity to piss off your neighbors.

(Thanks to submitters Paul in St. Paul, Stirling in Salt Lake City, Arcadiy in Seattle, Denise in Rochester, Sara in Berkeley, Liz in Austin, Breanne in Oklahoma City, and Payal in Pleasanton, California…all of whom, no doubt, have secured wi-fi networks. Right, guys?)

related: Why-fi

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FILED UNDER: dogs · most popular notes of 2009 · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex

168 responses so far ↓

#1 Geek Goddess

I only wish you could hear me having sex. At least it would mean I was . . .

The first thing you need to know about my sad relational situation is that it doesn’t even exist.

Ooops, did I say that out loud?

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:01 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #1.1 park rose
  
  Is it a Wednesday? (Is this joke tired, yet?)
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:08 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 Geek Goddess
  
  I don’t know about the joke, rose, but I know that I am tired of flying solo, ifyaknowwhatImean.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:12 pm rating: 90
- #1.3 park rose
  
  Well, give me your thumb and I’ll show you some action
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:44 pm rating: 90
- #1.4 Canthz_B
  
  *settles in with peanuts and Crackerjack to watch the action*
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:06 am rating: 90
- #1.5 Geek Goddess
  
  *ponders the question of performance art*
  
  *also ponders the ability to say ‘first’ in the first comment without invoking any lycra threats*
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:39 am rating: 90
- #1.6 Canthz_B
  
  GG, it’s like baking soda & salt, and flour…it needs to be sifted into the whole so well that it’s an indistinguishable part of the whole.
  
  Or maybe you’re in a clique or something.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:33 am rating: 90
- #1.7 Doom
  
  …Which could have, by anyone with a brain, been inferred from the first sentence, needing no (sad) explanation.
  
  Also, if you were really a geek “goddess,” you probably would have had sex by now. Probably with me, since I like the hot geeky types.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 10:29 am rating: 90
- #1.8 Wade
  
  NEDM
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 11:00 am rating: 90
- #1.9 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  There’s a rotary control marked DGGC* on the east wall.
  Just turn it clockwise to about 7 and we’ll all be able to hear fine.
  It was in the “User Manual”, but y’all geeks don’t cotton to them much.
  With us as your audience, you’ll never fly solo again.
  And don’t worry a bit ’bout performance art anxiety.
  Jes’ do whut duz ya best and we’ll do the rest.**
  
  *Dungeon Gallery Gain Control
  ** Apologies to Doors purists
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:32 pm rating: 90
- #1.10 Jonathan
  
  I dunno, well-selected lycra in the right group might fix your serious-ass flying solo problems, ifyouknowwhatImean.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:44 pm rating: 90
- #1.11 Geek Goddess
  
  Well, Doom, the (sad) explanation was there in order to slip “First!” into the first post with a bit of subtlety. Perhaps too much subtlety. Perhaps I should have focused on irony a bit more instead.
  
  Jonathan, there is well-selected lycra, and then there is … The Unitard.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 6:46 pm rating: 90
- #1.12 Bobby
  
  Can I see a photo of you GeekGoddess ?
  
  Jan 2, 2010 at 5:42 pm rating: 90
- #1.13 Wade
  
  Here you go, Bobby.
  
  Jan 2, 2010 at 6:28 pm rating: 90
- #1.14 yv
  
  Amen brother/sister!
  
  btw – there is something strange about the sample size – most of the above screenshots were from MacOS…
  
  Jan 12, 2010 at 1:56 am rating: 90
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#2 Allison

No grindcore at any time of day would be pretty splendid, actually.

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:01 pm rating: 90

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- #2.1 park rose
  
  I think that ‘grindcore’ and ‘thumb’ might collocate well together.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 8:26 am rating: 90
- #2.2 infant tyrone
  
  They might even exchange the verbal correlatives of DNA modules and become “grindthumb” and “core”(or “grindcumb” and “thore”, depending on how long the process took).
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 9:19 am rating: 90
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#3 brooke

awesome!! these are truly hilarious. we had one called “hello neighbors”

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 90

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- #3.1 Geek Goddess
  
  Of course, going in and renaming your neighbor’s network is a lot of fun too. Especially when they don’t know how to change it back.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: 90
- #3.2 park rose
  
  I hope no-one over here does that to me. I’d be well and truly screwed…my Japanese just isn’t good enough to comprehend anything.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
- #3.3 Sue Do Nim
  
  Ours is Nacho Network. And the password is
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:28 pm rating: 90
- #3.4 Neeners
  
  3.1 Geek Goddess, tell me your secrets, or at least where to find them. I must do this!!!
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:51 pm rating: 90
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#4 sandra

Hilarious, though personally I have very little sympathy for anyone who doesn’t turn off broadcasting their SSID or doesn’t password their network…

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:03 pm rating: 90

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- #4.1 cTo
  
  Yes!! Exactly!! If you’re intelligent enough to know that people using your internet is slowing it down and clever enough to name the router something to discourage them, YOU SHOULD HAVE THE INTELLIGENCE AND ENERGY TO JUST PASSWORD PROTECT THE DAMN THING!
  
  Jan 2, 2010 at 12:30 am rating: 90
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#5 Shawn

OK I am totally changing my wi-fi network name to “you make the building stink like marijuana and I’m sick of seeing hookers wandering in and out of the building via your apartment” in honour of my upstairs neighbour…

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:04 pm rating: 91

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- #5.1 Palomon
  
  Hey, Shawn; is your building renting?
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:42 pm rating: 91
- #5.2 Canthz_B
  
  By the hour!
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:09 am rating: 91
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#6 Karri

Mine has been named cunt puncher for years, thanks to the ex. I didn’t have the heart to change it.

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:08 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #6.1 park rose
  
  I’m glad he’s the ex, Karri, that is, if you are the one with the…
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm rating: 90
- #6.2 Palomon
  
  Is that like cow punching?
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:42 pm rating: 90
- #6.3 Karri
  
  I just like to imagine it horrifying the neighbors when they try to leech my wifi with that name. Of course, I’m 99% sure they know it’s me, but they’ve yet to mention it. I’m the “weird” one with all the tattoos in a neighborhood full of soccer moms. And yes, park rose, I am indeed the one with the…
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:47 pm rating: 90
- #6.4 park rose
  
  That’s good. See, there are a few words that heisa, the PAN monitor, doesn’t like around here. One is s*o*c*i*a*l*i*s*m* and the other is c*u*n*t*.
  
  The filters must be down
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
- #6.5 Karri
  
  Ha, I didn’t name it. I just happen to own it (in, um, both respects).
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:52 pm rating: 90
- #6.6 park rose
  
  I was explaining my seeming prudishness –
  
  though I am a prude, too. Of course, he very well coulda been a cunt, too (let’s see if it works), then he might’ve been into the whole self-discipline aspect of things.
  *Edit: it got past the censors…finally.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:03 am rating: 90
- #6.7 park rose
  
  I was just explaining my prudishness – the spam filters got my last comment. Maybe because I mixed **** with discipline.
  
  Your comments haven’t been held up?
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:04 am rating: 90
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#7 christine

there’s one in my neighborhood named “YOU AIN’T GETTING IN BITCH!!!” i don’t think it quite qualifies as passive-agressive though…

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm rating: 90

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#8 Sheri

These are great… We defn need to come up with a better network name now that I’ve seen these.

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:12 pm rating: 90

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#9 Canthz_B

I don’t need this pressure…yet another area of life now demands creativity.

I can’t do it anymore I tell ya! I CAN’T DO IT!!!!

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 91

reply to this comment
- #9.1 Geek Goddess
  
  Time out in dungeon 2 for you CB, until you calm down.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:18 pm rating: 90
- #9.2 Canthz_B
  
  Will I be flying solo as well?
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:20 pm rating: 90
- #9.3 Geek Goddess
  
  Let’s say that you will be, um, “monitored”, while you are there.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm rating: 90
- #9.4 park rose
  
  I was surprised that your cat o’ nine tails didn’t make an appearance on the last note.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:39 pm rating: 90
- #9.5 Canthz_B
  
  Do you promise to sit on my face if I try to leave?
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:40 pm rating: 90
- #9.6 Geek Goddess
  
  Another half hour for you, CB, for trying to tell me what to do.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:42 am rating: 90
- #9.7 Canthz_B
  
  WooHoo! I win again!!
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:02 am rating: 90
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#10 Geek Goddess

You know you spend too much time on the computer when you try to use the scroll bar on a static image to see what has been cropped off at the bottom. ; (

Not saying that I did that, of course.

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:16 pm rating: 90

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#11 Smrrk

Oh yeah, we saw one just the other night called “upstairs neighbors SUCK”. Awesome and perfect for an apartment (we have dealt with our share of shitty upstairs neighbors), but we live in a neighborhood of single-family homes, so I’m not really sure what’s going on there.

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:20 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #11.1 Canthz_B
  
  Some people still keep their crazy uncle in the attic. Good residential mental health facilities can be prohibitively expensive.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:23 pm rating: 90
- #11.2 MAMARILLA2
  
  What about the deformed cousin that you keep in the basement…
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:42 pm rating: 90
- #11.3 park rose
  
  Maybe Jane Eyre was in the hood, visiting Mr. Rochester.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:42 pm rating: 90
- #11.4 Canthz_B
  
  At least the Franks were quiet.
  I’d let them stay above me, but I’d snoop in any diary left lying about.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:46 pm rating: 90
- #11.5 park rose
  
  Mah… you just invoked Godwin, I think
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:47 pm rating: 90
- #11.6 Canthz_B
  
  Really? I’d hoped to goose-step right up to the line without crossing it.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:51 pm rating: 90
- #11.7 Geek Goddess
  
  If that was the case, Mama, it would be the deformed cousin’s network.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:43 am rating: 90
- #11.8 infant tyrone
  
  Maybe they are just happy to have moved out of Shawn’s neighborhood.
  The capitalized SUCK may indicate that the word had at least 3 separate meanings “back home”.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 9:24 am rating: 90
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#12 Lou Lange

These are hilarious!

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:25 pm rating: 90

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#13 thc

This is related to wifi snooping, and a little funny. Sorry, not passive-aggressive.

I was in line for the ferry, snooping for wifi. I found a network called “Friend of the Devil,” but it was locked. I tried anyway: S-A-T-A-N. I was in. Did I make a pact with the devil?

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:34 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #13.1 Geek Goddess
  
  Well, at least they didn’t use S-A-T-I-N as a password.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
- #13.2 Canthz_B
  
  S-A-T-I-N is the password for “Friend of the Diva”, GG.
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm rating: 90
- #13.3 park rose
  
  S-A-T-O-N is the password for what GG and CB get up to in the dungeon, right? (I am the 3rd wheel here at present).
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:46 pm rating: 90
- #13.4 Canthz_B
  
  *likes tricycles a lot*
  
  Dec 30, 2009 at 11:56 pm rating: 90
- #13.5 Geek Goddess
  
  Tricycles get sat on. And ~~paddled~~ pedaled.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:48 am rating: 90
- #13.6 Canthz_B
  
  WooHoo!! I win again again!!
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:14 am rating: 90
- #13.7 infant tyrone
  
  Indeed !
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq3r77gn9DQ
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:41 pm rating: 90
- #13.8 Hellchylde
  
  Youd think that perhaps they would have been not so obvious with the password tho..I would have used J-E-S-U-S as the password, but thats just me
  
  Feb 1, 2010 at 7:51 am rating: 90
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#14 Palomon

One of the neighbors named his network “GET YOUR OWN FUCKING ACCOUNT!”
Makes me laugh every time I see it.

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:49 pm rating: 90

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#15 Palomon

Read some of the other names on the 3rd list. Hilarious.

Dec 30, 2009 at 11:57 pm rating: 90

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#16 Canthz_B

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned:

I have to admit to being a WiFi pirate in the past, but only out of necessity.

Was unemployed and really needed internet access to apply for jobs.
Sure, I could have gone to the public library, but why if there’s an unprotected network available from my couch?

Dec 31, 2009 at 12:01 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #16.1 park rose
  
  All is forgiven, my son.
  The geek will inherit the earth.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:06 am rating: 90
- #16.2 notolaf
  
  Oh geez, who hasn’t sinned? That’s part of what makes it so funny.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:20 am rating: 90
- #16.3 park rose
  
  The unrepentant however, are condemned to the eighth circle of hell.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:30 am rating: 90
- #16.4 Geek Goddess
  
  The eighth circle? Is that the one with poor, intermittent reception?
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:37 am rating: 90
- #16.5 Canthz_B
  
  No, it’s Windows 95.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:06 am rating: 90
- #16.6 MAMARILLA2
  
  and dial up.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 11:36 am rating: 90
- #16.7 infant tyrone
  
  Ever send a WU EZ-Link telex at 300 baud ?
  
  So, the question is “What speed dial-up ??”
  
  We useta dream of having 56k….
  
  Jan 2, 2010 at 9:44 am rating: 90
- #16.8 Hellchylde
  
  and God forbid someone call … never get back online .. And I agree. Sinning is all just part of the fun. Hell – Sin makes the world go round
  
  Feb 1, 2010 at 7:49 am rating: 90
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#17 Wendy

How about… `Back off get your own internet` in honor of that sandwich commercial.

Dec 31, 2009 at 12:15 am rating: 90

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#18 emeff

I would change ours to “we can hear you having sex” if I didn’t think it would just encourage them. They have to know.

Dec 31, 2009 at 12:24 am rating: 90

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#19 Amy

our neighbors were “yourmomsmellslikecheese,” though fortunately my mom lives in another city.

Dec 31, 2009 at 1:17 am rating: 90

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#20 T2

Our wireless network is The Matrix. And we know our neighbors can’t get in because the haven’t taken the red pill (i.e. Know our password)

Dec 31, 2009 at 4:18 am rating: 90

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- #20.1 duhawknelle
  
  lame
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 8:30 am rating: 90
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#21 Michelle

My neighbours named theirs “getoutfuckers”… cracks me up whenever I connect to our own router and see it!

Dec 31, 2009 at 7:08 am rating: 90

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#22 adam

Yawn, everyone thinks they are very hilarious. Not so, in fact.

Dec 31, 2009 at 7:38 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #22.1 park rose
  
  Do you need your McVities digestives, adam? Tum upsetting you a little? My favourite are the chocolate coated.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 7:46 am rating: 90
- #22.2 Canthz_B
  
  At least we have Adam to judge what’s funny and what’s not.
  What would we do without His standards to guide us?
  
  Happy new year, Adam. Keep up the good work!
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 7:50 am rating: 90
- #22.3 adam
  
  Thanks CB, happy new year to you!
  
  Park, your non-american slang is confusing and enticing.
  
  Also, I’d like to thank the person in my building who leaves their internet connection not password protected. Otherwise I would only be able to be here at work, which is not nearly enough. I appreciate you paying the ridiculous bill, cause there is no way I would ever pay that much for internet.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 8:02 am rating: 90
- #22.4 Canthz_B
  
  I hope 2010 brings you a better paying job, adam…you deserve one.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 8:10 am rating: 90
- #22.5 park rose
  
  and a digestive biscuit (cookie to you, adam. I still don’t think you’re American, though).
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 8:19 am rating: 90
- #22.6 adam
  
  Hmm. Not sure I’ve heard of anything like that. Though some cookies would be tasty(I’ve been craving E.L. Fudge’s lately).
  
  What? Why don’t you think that? Would I lie about my country?
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 8:49 am rating: 90
- #22.7 park rose
  
  No, you haven’t lied at all. You haven’t stated it. It was just some usage you’ve had. I had a flight of fantasy that you were a very fluent Dutch boy. You know, the kind who plugged up the dike with their generous and dexterous thumb.
  
  I was going to change my comment, but you were too quick. I was going to ask if enticing foreign slang set your plumage all a-quiver?
  
  Too late, too late. Such wasted opportunities.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 9:06 am rating: 90
- #22.8 adam
  
  Oh. Well, I am from Pennsylvania. I just visited amsterdam a few weeks ago so I have a piece of my heart in the Netherlands.
  
  I do enjoy the foreign slang. Where are you typing from?
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: 90
- #22.9 infant tyrone
  
  rose,
  
  All archery metaphors aside (and don’t think for a second about how hard it was to leave Ronin Hood and Made Marian back in the forest), I suspect that Adam’s ‘enticing’ is primarily
  of the intellectual variety,
  because the whole process of
  taking the stiff arrow in hand,
  nocking it carefully,
  pulling it ever tighter,
  until with eyes
  (open or closed, depending on whether it’s regular or Zen archery)
  on the target,
  release occurs,
  isn’t the kind of thing
  most guys can handle
  without having what should
  be a moment of private disturb
  leak out into the office audio space
  whether with a bang or a whimper.
  
  If I can just remember where I left this on Valentine’s Day…
  Another word for greed,
  Cupid-i-ty
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 9:51 am rating: 90
- #22.10 park rose
  
  You lost me at Valentine’s Day, before that you were doing good. Others will get it, but you could do with a good editor. Whoa, back, pull back, that extra bon mot is for another time.
  
  Where’s GG when you need her? I’ll get it too, eventually. I thought Frank n Furter might have been a more enjoyable trajectory to follow…though that is shiver, forgive me. Shiver me timbers…leave it now, before you confuse me and me both.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 10:03 am rating: 90
- #22.11 park rose
  
  Nihon, adam.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 10:04 am rating: 90
- #22.12 adam
  
  Nihon? A quick google of that word turns up San Fransisco and Then a bunch of stuff about the Nihon Shoki, sometimes translated as The Chronicles of Japan, the second oldest book of classical Japanese history
  
  So I guess your from San Fran. I’m a big fan of Full House! Are you Kimmy Gibler all grown up?
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 10:41 am rating: 90
- #22.13 MAMARILLA2
  
  Shoot, I am still working on the finger in the dike…Y’all got me all worked up.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 11:42 am rating: 90
- #22.14 adam
  
  O, meant to type this earlier to CB:
  
  Thanks, I really do deserve more $$$ for all the mental patients(literally) I deal with.
  
  But even if I had a bigger salary, I don’t think i’d pay for internet as long as I could leech off of someone in my building.
  
  I went to a jewish pre-school so I have certain money tendencies.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 11:54 am rating: 90
- #22.15 infant tyrone
  
  rose,
  
  Were it not for the celebratory psychopharmaceuticals,
  you’d a got it w/o a hint, but here ’tis.
  
  First look at the shape of the text.
  See the bow ?
  If so, see the arrow ?
  The back of the head is at ‘or’ and the front of the fletching is at ‘Zen’.
  So, who’s the big arrow shooter on St. Valentine’s day ?
  Maybe in Oz it’s different, but here it’s Cupid/Eros.
  
  Whut wuz yew lookin’ at?
  Maybe the process of simultaneously reading the superficially archery-related words along with the other meaning had you visually engaged with a different spatial figure and ground relationship and getting a picture of a completely different shaft ? That was my primary image until I noticed the bow, at which point they became co-equal like those 50-50 optical effects.
  If you’re not familiar…
  http://www.123opticalillusions.com/pages/Facevase.php
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:04 pm rating: 90
- #22.16 use your words...less...
  
  Holy crap, infant t., thanks for the long, boring follow-up to explain the long, boring original. Save up some of your words for 2010*
  
  (or 2011, if you’re in one of the countries already sleeping off the start of 2010)
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 12:42 pm rating: 90
- #22.17 adam
  
  Oh no he didn’t. Haha.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 1:50 pm rating: 90
- #22.18 infant tyrone
  
  Adam,
  Right you are, sir. HaHa + HNY.
  
  Uyw…l…
  Como mi amiga PG diria,
  muerdame…
  Desplácese por la página, bebe, y no mirar hacia atrás.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 2:43 pm rating: 90
- #22.19 park rose
  
  Adam, that explains why it is impossible to ruffle your feathers. HNY again (if I said it the first time. I’m a little vague this morning).
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 5:23 pm rating: 90
- #22.20 Geek Goddess
  
  HNY to all y’all, too. Although I will not be staying up until midnight, as I have to get up early tomorrow to feed Little Baby Damien and the other ponies. And perhaps work in a training session for LBD, who is often naughty and in need of correction.
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 8:32 pm rating: 90
- #22.21 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  HNY to you ‘n’ yours.
  I recall you mentioning LBD a while back
  But, is he a real pony or a figurative one?
  It sounds like you often have your hands full,
  what with disciplining troublemakers and all.
  If you ever find yourself at witzends and in need of support,
  do this thought-experiment (gedankenexperiment)…
  imagine your noggin cut in half and then cut in half again,
  then look up (waaaay up) on the screen and ask,
  “Where in this world could I look for camaraderie?”
  Don’t worry, Dorothy. You might find the
  Emerald City, but you won’t necessarily pick
  up droves of obsessing gay fans. Try it.
  It’s an easy puzzle for a geek or a goddess.
  Olympus awaits dedicated seekers.
  
  Jan 1, 2010 at 2:41 am rating: 90
- #22.22 Canthz_B
  
  GG, have you seen the invitation to join MyBlogLog under stirring up trouble?
  
  It’s really interesting and starting an account is easy.
  
  Jan 1, 2010 at 3:20 am rating: 90
- #22.23 Geek Goddess
  
  ty, LBD is a real, 5 month old colt with the personality of a Rottweiler who regularly tries to bite anyone handy, and gets smacked on the butt if he tries it with me. He seemed to slip so easily into conversation here with just a slight bit of digital enhancement. I spent several hours with him and his 17 pasture mates this morning, re-nailing fence boards that had been knocked down overnight. Apparently the New Year’s Party down on the farm was a real blast!
  
  Droves of obsessing gay fans would be a nice change from all my straight guy friends who get married and then disappear into some honeymoon sunset bliss scenario, rarely to be seen again. Honestly, it’s like some kind of epidemic, and I seem to be the catalyst for it in some way. You know, meet Geek Goddess, become good friends, hang out and do cool things together a lot, meet the girl of your dreams (not to be confused with the aforementioned GG) and live happily ever after, but don’t do cool things with GG so much anymore.
  
  Starting an account, CB? It starts with checking out a website once or twice. Then a user name. A comment here or there. First-name basis with the regulars. Then a full-blown account. Next thing you know, you’re living in a cardboard box, stealing electricity from a nearby lamp post, and internet access from a network called Bubba.
  
  So, where do I sign up?
  
  Jan 2, 2010 at 12:30 am rating: 90
- #22.24 park rose
  
  Over there, GG, where it says YOU! join my community
  Unless you’ve already done so, and this is old news. Bring Nick along with you, wouldja?
  
  Jan 2, 2010 at 1:42 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#23 Thanks!

Clearly, I must change mine to “I want to slash your tires”. Now, I have to figure out how to do that………..Oh, how jealous I am! I mean how would you know who exactly is hearing you grindcore or which neighbor’s yard the dog is shitting in. I mean, these guys have lots of wireless neighbors. I only have one…

Dec 31, 2009 at 7:40 am rating: 90

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- #23.1 Geek Goddess
  
  Thanks, a sharp sturdy blade is the best way to slash tires. An aptitude for stealth is good, too, unless you are a really fast runner, although both is even better.
  
  Jan 2, 2010 at 12:32 am rating: 90
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#24 Tasha

Hmm. Maybe I’ll leave one telling my neighbor not to be such a redneck.

Dec 31, 2009 at 8:41 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #24.1 adam
  
  Git R Dun
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 9:04 am rating: 90
- #24.2 infant tyrone
  
  memo to rose….
  
  Chance of Git R Dun being Dutch = eensy-weensy 2-da-E+5
  
  Maybe somewhere served by the Holland Tunnel ?
  
  Or maybe here ?
  http://www.cityofholland.com/Brix?pageID=1
  
  ty
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 9:33 am rating: 90
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#25 KR

I think those are pretty funny actually.

Dec 31, 2009 at 9:42 am rating: 90

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#26 josh

I have one of those 2.5/5 ghz routers with guest access so that’s a total of 4 networks I get to name. I don’t have annoying neighbors or many people around who know how to even connect to a wireless router but I still have fun making stuff up.

I highly recommend it!

Dec 31, 2009 at 9:48 am rating: 90

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#27 Joe

Two of those show the user as being connected, and one of those is clearly a secured connection. (You can’t tell on the second one.) So, someone thought he was clever and submitted his own material to PAN?

Dec 31, 2009 at 9:53 am rating: 90

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#28 Esther

The one that made me crack up was not even highlighted, “I’m just a thundercat ho” LOL!

Dec 31, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: 90

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- #28.1 Quinn
  
  I laughed pretty hard at that one too!
  
  Thundercats ho.. >.<
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 11:09 am rating: 90
- #28.2 park rose
  
  Thundercats are ho!
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 5:25 pm rating: 90
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#29 UnclGhost

My neighbors used to have one of those called “poopshits.” I’m not sure if they thought that would deter you from connecting (it didn’t) because it wasn’t protected at all.

Dec 31, 2009 at 10:57 am rating: 90

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#30 Quinn

When we lived in an apartment building our neighbours were always stealing our internet: we changed our name to: nointerwebs4u

They never did get the hint but they did get a polite phone call from our cable company!

Dec 31, 2009 at 11:08 am rating: 90

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#31 Michelle B.

It’s not really passiveiaggressive, but I had a neighbor with the network name “drunkinpublic,” which was true.
I also have a neighbor with “virus,” which I think is a deterrent.

Dec 31, 2009 at 11:38 am rating: 90

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#32 TippingCows

I don’t understand – if you don’t want people to steal your internet you make it secure. It’s not rocket science.

On an unrelated note: I can … here, you having sex?

Dec 31, 2009 at 11:52 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #32.1 park rose
  
  Well, no, no I’m not.
  What did you want to say before that thought crossed your mind?
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 5:27 pm rating: 90
- #32.2 TippingCows
  
  I can … haz cheezburger?!
  
  Dec 31, 2009 at 11:51 pm rating: 90
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#33 Angry Julie Monday

I screen-shot a wifi hit while driving a few weeks ago from my iphone. I need to do a post about it. This is hilarious. I should do this for my NOSEY neighbor. He actually asked me one day, “Is your server names xyz…” I said WTF? He says, oh I look for wifi if I can find it free, and didn’t recognize this server name.

Dec 31, 2009 at 12:20 pm rating: 90

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#34 oi

Gabbar gotta be an Indian guy. He is the coolest villein in the history cool villeins

Dec 31, 2009 at 1:49 pm rating: 90

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#35 Wordtinker doesnt smith

Social engineering – because there’s no patch for human stupidity.

Dec 31, 2009 at 4:20 pm rating: 90

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#36 JAB

God Almighty, this is the funniest set of “notes” I’ve seen in a while. I LOL’d for a good five minutes, especially at the first item.

Dec 31, 2009 at 10:14 pm rating: 90

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#37 Kevin

I guess I’m deprived. My house is separated from my neighbors by enough space that all I see on my Wi-Fi is my own and my print server.

Jan 1, 2010 at 4:58 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #37.1 Geek Goddess
  
  Or maybe your neighbors use dial up. Or perhaps two tin cans and a string. But that must really hurt for you, Kevin. You have my sympathy
  
  Jan 1, 2010 at 5:05 pm rating: 90
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#38 Quinn

Secured network isn’t always secure? o.O

Jan 2, 2010 at 10:01 am rating: 90

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#39 Kimberly

The ones named stayOFFmyrouter and Caitlin stop using my internet are clearly faked, because if you know enough to change your SSID, then you know enough to lock it down.

Jan 3, 2010 at 12:39 am rating: 90

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#40 hmbitchfacekio

i’ve only got one other network on my list, it’s unfortunate.

i have a friend who has ‘istealyourinternet’ though..

Jan 3, 2010 at 12:49 am rating: 90

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#41 foroblogger

My neighbourd have “I´m a hacker, dont connect to my wifi”

Jan 3, 2010 at 5:52 pm rating: 90

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#42 Cliff Torres

Mine is “yourMomSaidNoInternet”

Jan 3, 2010 at 11:40 pm rating: 90

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#43 Oooh

I’m going to try this, thanks!

Jan 5, 2010 at 12:37 pm rating: 90

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#44 clearly too old to get it

I’m pleased to say that I don’t understand a word you kids say in this thread. Not a thing. Man, am I old.

Jan 6, 2010 at 9:25 am rating: 90

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#45 bob

awesome…
i don’t think i have anyone that can connect to my internet around me, and it’s secured anyway…
but i want to be prepared!
i’ll be able to offend my neighbors without even being home
my heart just grew 3 sizes :0

Jan 6, 2010 at 3:00 pm rating: 90

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#46 ashley

my own neighbors:

http://img97.yfrog.com/img97/6862/x8ta.jpg

Jan 6, 2010 at 7:12 pm rating: 90

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#47 Alex

OMG! this is just like that website wtfwifi.com!

they have funny ones on there too!

Jan 7, 2010 at 1:21 pm rating: 90

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#48 William

Yea, http://www.wtfwifi.com has a lot more wifi names – equally as good!

Jan 7, 2010 at 7:50 pm rating: 90

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#49 Fred

I much prefer to keep mine named
FreeInternet4U
As it’s a secure network does that make me passive aggressive ?
I’ve always enjoyed the image of some dirt bag neighbor trying repeatedly to guess the password !!

Jan 8, 2010 at 8:41 am rating: 90

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- #49.1 Anon
  
  “guess” how quaint.
  
  Jan 12, 2010 at 8:09 am rating: 90
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#50 Jafenhasen Bunglebeard

mine was ‘douchenet’ at one point

Jan 11, 2010 at 12:59 pm rating: 90

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#51 Scott Morgan

My home network’s name is “Setec Astronomy”… anyone want to guess what my WPA key is?

Jan 11, 2010 at 1:46 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #51.1 tgrantt
  
  Too many secrets, Sneaker.
  
  Jan 11, 2010 at 3:46 pm rating: 90
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#52 Breanne from Oklahoma city

Update: Two days after I changed my WiFi network to “Stop being so fucking loud,” my noisy neighbors were evicted.

SUCCESS!

Jan 11, 2010 at 8:15 pm rating: 90

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#53 Wordtinker doesnt smith

Gotta’ admit – (and I’m not ashamed) I’ve begun regularly hijacking the neighborhood’s wifi when I’m at work so I can visit PAN. I know – it’s not the nicest thing to do, but since they leave it unprotected or ridiculously easy to hack…

Jan 11, 2010 at 8:40 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
#54 James Bond

How about “Turn off your webcam”?

Jan 11, 2010 at 10:13 pm rating: 90

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#55 [email protected]

My cousin found that password-protecting his Wi-Fi prevented him from using Internet-based features on his older model Xbox, so he named his Wi-Fi “Virus”. It sure worked as a deterrent for me when his network popped up on my iPhone as an available Wi-Fi network.

Jan 12, 2010 at 8:09 am rating: 90

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#56 erin

I think most neighbors are way too stupid to get point.

Jan 12, 2010 at 8:35 am rating: 90

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#57 Erik

Ours says “Dirty Butt Sluts”.

Jan 13, 2010 at 11:40 am rating: 90

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#58 fernandoBOT

this is mine.

http://i45.tinypic.com/fbdrmd.jpg

Jan 14, 2010 at 5:20 am rating: 90

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#59 GVN

I secure my net, but tend to call them things like “Connection error” or “Low battery” just to make me think I am the superior confuser.

Jan 14, 2010 at 11:15 pm rating: 90

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#60 Elisa

Hilarious!!

Jan 15, 2010 at 4:16 pm rating: 90

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#61 keith

How about “Born4Porn” which is the disturbing name for a personal wireless network in my apartment complex? My hope is that it’s not the creepy old guy on the corner. But it probably is. That, or the seemingly mild granny with the tulips in the window.

Jan 17, 2010 at 11:54 am rating: 90

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#62 anonymous

my dad named our home network “Go Away!”

Jan 18, 2010 at 12:04 am rating: 90

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#63 Phredd

Mine is called “VirusNetwork” – nobody messes with it.

Jan 18, 2010 at 2:02 pm rating: 90

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#64 spacemonkey

Someone in my apartment building has a wireless network named ‘rucallinmeanigga?’ LOL!

Jan 23, 2010 at 10:10 pm rating: 90

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#65 Jessiqua

I just got my network set-up a few weeks ago and decided to name the router “DontStealMyFuckingInternet”

Jan 27, 2010 at 5:43 pm rating: 90

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#66 Alexandra Janelli

CHeck out WTFwifi.com SO great

Jan 30, 2010 at 9:09 am rating: 90

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#67 Zaxy

Don’t you like to connect my network physically?

Jan 31, 2010 at 7:32 am rating: 90

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#68 starling

I lived in a neighbourhood with a wi-fi connection called “gaypeopleshouldbeshot”. Needless to say, it wasn’t a very upmarket neighbourhood ….

Feb 3, 2010 at 4:09 am rating: 90

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#69 Marc

I got mine named to sound like the “FBI” is monitoring, no problems.

Feb 13, 2010 at 1:34 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#70 Passive Aggressive Wi-Fi Network Names · The Crack Team

[...] A creative and passive aggressive way to gripe to your neighbors: wi-fi network names. [...]

Oct 5, 2010 at 4:24 pm rating: 90

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#71 Dillo col Wireless | Lega Nerd

[...] http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/12/30/wifi-for-passive-aggressives/ [...]

Dec 28, 2010 at 9:12 am rating: 90

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#72 WiFi for passive-aggressives | 3ASYFUCK | THREE COLORS OF SEX

[...] Passive Aggressive Notes: When even leaving a note is too direct…you folks with wireless networks still named “linksys” or “trendnet” are clearly missing out on a priceless opportunity to piss off your neighbors… [...]

Apr 17, 2011 at 11:03 pm rating: 90

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