“My roommate in college was allergic to everything,” says Casey in Watsonville, California — and she talked about it ad nauseam. “For her birthday sophomore year, we went to buy her a cake but of course she was allergic to everything good. So in the end, I just got a cake I liked and we bought her some crappy vegan thing that wouldn’t make her break out.”
(The cake, Casey says, was “delicious.”)
related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.
extra credit: CakeWrecks.com
190 responses so far ↓
#1
Wade
I’m surprised they didn’t just post snarky Happy Birthday comments on Kim’s Facebook and leave it at that.
Jan 12, 2010 at 3:54 pm rating: 90
#2
Wade
I didn’t realize someecards had opened a bakery.
Jan 12, 2010 at 3:56 pm rating: 90
#3
Beanster
“sorry you can’t eat this. we are drinking tea.”
??
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:02 pm rating: 90
#4
Fuschia Grown
Team Kim on this one. Thanks to the marvels of the modern supermarket, you can have non-vegan cake any damn time you please, Other Roomie. No need to add a big frosted pile of passive-aggressive to the one birthday party a year where Kim can actually eat the cake.
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:13 pm rating: 90
#5
Woman on the Verge
What a sincere apology… complete with streamers, tea, and sprinkles. I’m sure Kim was touched by the sentiment. Really.
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:16 pm rating: 90
#6
Umm...
Gee… Thanks… You shouldn’t have. What else did you get you for my birthtday?
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:21 pm rating: 90
#7
Avi
Holy crap, Team Kim on this one. Get some better roommates – maybe ones that aren’t complete bitches.
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:30 pm rating: 90
#8
BeardedDave
At least one of these miserable roommates was intelligent; that is a Latin textbook on the table.
Carpe diem!
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:30 pm rating: 90
#9
Michelle
Haha, it was nice of you to get 2 cakes. Now she can have something that wont kill her, and no one else has to politely say they would rather eat shit than a vegan cake.
P.S.
I understand about hearing about someones allergies again, and again, and again, and again…
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:47 pm rating: 90
#10
AQ
I think they’re margaritas with a slice of lime and salt on the rim.
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:50 pm rating: 90
#11
Amanda
Team Kim! Way to be assholes.
Jan 12, 2010 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
#12
Lisa S.
My husband went to a vegan wedding, and while he said the rest of the food was all meh, that the cake was absolutely the best cake he’d ever had. Period.
Jan 12, 2010 at 5:02 pm rating: 90
#13
jetjackson
Cake or death!?
Jan 12, 2010 at 5:23 pm rating: 90
#14
jetjackson
So how exactly does she ‘break out’? Is she like the Hulk or something…
“AMY EAT CAKE WITH DAIRY… YOU MAKE AMY ANGRY… YOU WON’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY!!!”
Jan 12, 2010 at 5:33 pm rating: 90
#15
Critical Grass
The year Kim’s roomates bought her a vegan cake, one she could actually eat, the icing on it read:
“This cake sucks! Happy Birthday, Kim…”
Jan 12, 2010 at 5:34 pm rating: 90
#16
Hmmm
Question: Does the cake become more PA, less PA, or about the same PA, if Kim picks up that frosted beauty and drives it directly into Casey’s face?
Jan 12, 2010 at 5:42 pm rating: 90
#17
Melissa
Um, yeah, no offense, but I can’t eat wheat, rye, barley, or oats (which means no regular OR vegan cake) and it’s quite difficult without people doing this type of sh*t. It’s not easy to accommodate a gluten-free lifestyle but I have found that people who are REAL friends actually read the labels and help me eat safely. The reason she probably talks about it all the time? YOU EAT ALL THE TIME and it affects how you feel, especially if you get something you can’t have. So, Casey? Unless you know what it’s like to be in her shoes? Hold off on the judgment and mean-spirited cakes.
Jan 12, 2010 at 5:54 pm rating: 90
#18
oi
WTF? Casey goes on like having allergy is Kim’s damn fault!
I thoguht friends try to cheer people up on their birthday. no?
Is she proud of her sadism? Actually took picture and submitted it. Brafuckingvo!
Jan 12, 2010 at 6:06 pm rating: 90
#19
hungrygrrl
I’ve lived with vegan roommates who didn’t talk about it all the time, but I still knew they were vegan and was happy to make them vegan birthday cakes. They can be fucking’ delicious, though they get stale pretty quick.
Using a cake to remind a whiney roommate that you’ve heard her whining is fair. In college, at least.
Jan 12, 2010 at 6:29 pm rating: 90
#20
aaa
$20 Kim’s annoying and Casey’s an immature crapspackler. It’s more amusing that way.
Jan 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm rating: 90
#21
Handy Man, Crafty Woman
AWESOME cake!
Jan 12, 2010 at 7:37 pm rating: 90
#22
BillyDinPVD
WAIT – is this the same Kim as the one on the “Fuck You” cake?!
Jan 12, 2010 at 8:12 pm rating: 90
#23
Kiera
Wow, pretty shitty thing to do. I can’t have regular cake, either. I know how I’d feel if someone did that to me. By the way, people who have allergies or intolerances to certain food do talk about it all the time. Why yes, we can be so goddamn annoying about something that can kill us! Hahahaha! Why don’t you go see if you can find a class on how to stop being a shitty friend.
Jan 12, 2010 at 8:15 pm rating: 90
#24
Hierophantria
There’s a difference between allergies and choices. Yes, vegans who rant and rave are a pain but damn… poor Kim. That was just plain cruel. And ya know what? There are some really great gluten-free cakes out there that even mean monsters like you would like. She probably talked a lot about it out of fear you’d give her something that’d send her to the emergency room. And from what we’re seeing here I see her concern.
Jan 12, 2010 at 9:24 pm rating: 90
#25
Canthz_B
“Sorry, you can’t eat this.” is the main reason I changed pick-up lines.
“Girl, I’d like to sop you up with a biscuit!” just wasn’t doing it.
Jan 13, 2010 at 1:35 am rating: 90
#26
Havingfitz
I’m on Team Kim. I have a lot of food allergies and have been accused of making them up. I can’t eat shellfish; my brother once gave me real crab and told me it was artificial. When I started choking and swelling up, he then believed me. It is very hard and frustrating. Casey, had you pulled this shit with me you’d be eating your “delicious” cake in reverse.
Jan 13, 2010 at 6:55 am rating: 90
#27
Keira
Geez, that’s even a supermarket cake. Anything’s better than that. Great way to celebrate her birthday, ugh.
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:06 am rating: 90
#28
FoxtrotAlph
This is hilarious. I had an aquaintence like that, it was all he talked about. And he was full of shit. Two strikes.
It’s not like she didn’t buy her another cake.
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:11 am rating: 90
#29
Imber
Vegan sweets are not to be mocked. If they aren’t as good as ‘normal’ sweets it’s because they weren’t made right. Eggs aren’t needed for cookies or cake; I will concede pie is more difficult.
However, Gluten-free baking is another thing entirely. The poster doesn’t detail Kim’s allergies, but if they included Gluten AND eggs, then I can understand the roomies frustration. Gluten-free is much harder to make from scratch, the mixes are more expensive, and overall they never taste as good as wheaty cakes.
Also, what’s up with the comment about red velvet not being strictly vegan? As long as the dye you use is not red dye #4 (#40 is fine!) then no reason it wouldn’t be. I just made a red velvet groomscake, and no one noticed anything different about it.
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:33 am rating: 90
#30
adam
It’s nice that they got the birthday girl something, as well as something they all can enjoy. B-days are about groups of friends celebrating an individual. Everyone has to be taken into consideration.
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:37 am rating: 90
#31
one badass vegan motherfucker
People who are bashing vegan cake – have you ever HAD vegan cake? There is no difference to your chicken period laden cakes. I don’t know what kind of cakes you’ve had in the past, but, um, eggs aren’t a necessary component for making a cake taste good. That would be the sugar and other delicious fucking yumminess, all of which would be on a vegan cake.
Jan 13, 2010 at 8:31 am rating: 90
#32
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
This isn’t a passive-aggressive message, it’s a giggly message. No way could this be constructed as mean, especially when Casey & co. thoughtfully got Kim her own, edible cake.
Try to keep the stuff here truly passive-aggressive – or just plain aggressive – or I’m gonna have to dig into my pile of stuff and send you something.
Jan 13, 2010 at 8:44 am rating: 90
#33
Pterosaur
I suspect that Kim will celebrate Casey’s birthday by baking her an Ex-Lax chocolate cake. “I can’t eat this one either. Happy B-Day Casey!”
Who’s whining about horrific digestive symptoms now, bitch?
Jan 13, 2010 at 9:05 am rating: 90
#34
Sara
I hate those people that are allergic to everything…or if they eat one flake of a peanut, they’re in the hospital. If that were me, I would just eat what I wanted and die a happy woman. Seriously, life is not worth living if you can only eat 5 foods.
Jan 13, 2010 at 10:55 am rating: 90
#35
Kay
As a person who IS allergic to everything, WELCOME TO MY WHOLE LIFE!!! It’ s always “awww, that’s really sweet that you made that for me but I can’t eat it because I will die…” I feel bad for people
Jan 13, 2010 at 11:31 am rating: 90
#36
Jo
My fiance is allergic to shellfish. I recognize that it’s annoying to be the food police but someone’s gotta do it when you or someone you love has a food allergy. I don’t like having to ask at every family get-together if there’s shellfish, nor do I feel any better about it every time we go out to eat. I’m not blind to the fact that the allergy mantra gets old fast but his allergies don’t magically go away because I’d like to have a crab rangoon once in a while. So guess what? It doesn’t just suck for bitchy roommates who don’t understand. It sucks for family, too. So quit making people with allergies out to be the bad guy. It’s not like this is a barrel of fun for us.
Jan 13, 2010 at 1:36 pm rating: 90
#37
Tina
Wow! Casey. You are one huge bitch!
Try living with allergies! Its not fun!
Jan 13, 2010 at 2:00 pm rating: 90
#38
Lise
yeah, people really choose to have allergies just to annoy people. Get a grip, Casey.
Jan 13, 2010 at 2:21 pm rating: 90
#39
Such a pretty face
Casey reminds me of my son’s second grade classmates. They delighted in showing him pictures of bees or teasing that there was one near him because they knew he was allergic to bee stings.
Jan 13, 2010 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
#40
Sean Jungian
Yeah, I know you allergy-suffering attention whores. God forbid I should go one instant of my life without thinking about HOW YOU COULD FUCKING DIE ANY MINUTE. How is that my problem? Nobody is forcing you to eat anything, and if they are, those are some weird-ass “friends”. Boo fucking hoo, kids with cancer don’t whine as much as you guys.
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:28 pm rating: 90
#41
Dagny
I cannot believe…really?…this hasn’t been said….
I think the people need to know whether the cake was merely “delicious” or if it was “fucking delicious”.
The people NEED to know.
Jan 13, 2010 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
#42
Tanizaki
Food allergies are God’s way of saying, “You should be dead.”
Jan 14, 2010 at 12:27 am rating: 90
#43
kiwisoup
I have no problem with people with food allergies, but if there’s no food around, I really don’t want to hear about it on an on and on. I have friends who have food allergies that almost never talk about it. Then there’s those people who you don’t even believe because they have every food allergy in the book (I work in food service and deal with it very frequently). As long as you’re not annoying about it and you don’t try to force people to eat your disgusting “alternatives” or get mad at people who eat the things you can’t, or throw a huge fit over “cross-contamination” every time you go out with them then I have no issue with you.
Jan 14, 2010 at 1:26 am rating: 90
#44
Pers
I feel for people with food allergies and I’m supportive of the need to keep safe…but it’s the folks with allergies that make it their whole identity. I’ve known a few people with severe or strange food allergies and they always talk about their allergies, how it affects them, how they fear them, how others should do more to accommodate them, blah blah blah. I understand asking a waiter or cook what’s in a dish, but going on ad nauseum, even changing the topic of conversation to steer towards talking about their food allergies. It’s too much. I think some of these folks use their allergy as a way to be the centre of attention a little.
I went to a party once where a very allergic person would be in attendance. The hostess was VERY mindful of her many allergies and made sure there were a number of safe dishes available for her to munch on. Did she simply enjoy the ‘safe’ food? No. Did she express any appreciation? Nah. Did she find another way to bitch and complain? Yup. She started ranting that ALL of the food should have been ‘safe’ for her, she felt left out of the ‘other food’, that it wasn’t ‘fair’, blah blah. Annoying.
I’m all for staying safe from potentially dangerous foods, but being discrete and classy about it. Putting your challenges down others’ throats or making them feel badly for eating X when you can’t is not cool. Cheers!
Jan 14, 2010 at 8:44 am rating: 90
#45
katje
Team Kim. Casey got her “some crappy vegan thing”? Why couldn’t she have sprung for one of the many awesomely delicious vegan things that are available? If she didn’t have access to a vegan bakery, there are tons of excellent recipes. Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World is a good place to start.
Jan 14, 2010 at 10:31 am rating: 90
#46
ArchedEyebrow
Goodness, people. I must say all this commentary back and forth hashing out food allergies vs. food preferences, annoying vs. whining, life vs. death is just exhausting.
*takes a satisfying sip of a perfectly chilled martini*
Ahhh . . . there, much better. Now then, a perfect example of how a situation such as this can be handled:
Daughter 1: (low voice to waiter) May I have a dessert with no nuts. I’m allergic to them.
Daughter 2: (from across table to Daughter 1, smiling) I’ll order one without nuts, too, so you don’t feel different.
Daughter 3: (to waiter) I’ll take all their extra nuts, please.
Father: (alarmed) Nuts? I thought none of the boyfriends came with us to dinner!
Mother: (soothingly) No, darling, all the boyfriends were at dinner last night. And we didn’t have any nuts in the dessert.
Gramps: (glaring and rapping cane on floor) Tarnation! Who said I was nuts?
There you have it. My beautiful family in a *ahem* nutshell . . . love, friendship, tolerance and (just a slight bit) insanity.
Ta!
Jan 14, 2010 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
#47
HonestB
If you want to use her birthday as an excuse to buy yourself a present you want, maybe get yourself a cookbook, or some sort of handbook to being less of a jerk.
Jan 14, 2010 at 4:07 pm rating: 90
#48
Megan
That’s a seriously horrible cake. I don’t care how fucking annoying someone is, you are automatically a terrible person if you get someone something like that for their birthday. (and yes, I do have food allergies. But no, I’m not annoying about it)
Jan 14, 2010 at 9:00 pm rating: 90
#49
Quietmarc
I have no allergies at all and it’s AWESOME (-everything- is fucking delicious!!!), but I’m Team Kim. If it was a potluck or generic gathering, it’d be fine, but basically they decided their pleasure was more important than Kim’s on her birthday.
She should eat the cake and make them wait in the emergency room until she’s better.
Jan 15, 2010 at 5:51 am rating: 90
#50
Mike
No food allergies here, but I still have to side with Kim. Having food allergies is quite different from being a vegan – there are a lot fewer choices and almost no after-school clubs. Also, we haven’t heard Kim’s side of the story, maybe Casey is just as annoying. It wouldn’t come as a complete shock, seeing as how for her roommate’s birthday she opted to buy a cake SHE liked and got Kim “some crappy vegan thing that wouldn’t make her break out.” Wow, way to have high standards, because that’s what every girl wants for her birthday, something “crappy.”
Casey seems to be quite proud of herself too, judging by the fact that she sent in a picture of the cake as if to show how generous yet witty she is. If this girl is bragging about the fact that she bought herself a cake on someone else’s birthday, I get the feeling Casey isn’t the only roommate with something to complain about.
Jan 15, 2010 at 7:56 pm rating: 90
#51
Realist
What ever happened to survival of the fittest? How can we breed the master race if we keep letting all the weak folks get by with this allergy crap? And what makes it worse is that these people apparently can’t take a joke.
Jan 18, 2010 at 11:47 am rating: 90
#52
Frau Schlau
You are magnificent!!! Just remember: Hitler was a vegetarian. Maybe you saved democracy :-))) LOL
Jan 18, 2010 at 4:34 pm rating: 90
#53
tinkerjenn
Vegans confuse me.
Our teeth are set up to tear meat.
Scientists have also discovered that plants “scream” when they are damaged. What’s left to eat? The logic seems flawed to me.
*shrug*
Jan 19, 2010 at 8:39 am rating: 90
#54
.
Eat a vegan cake and then criticize it.
Jan 19, 2010 at 10:29 pm rating: 90
#55
Anorkian
Wow, Jesus Christ. Team Kim!
My bestie has a severe allergy to not just dairy, but eggs as well. Although the eggs thing is usually fine, zie constantly has to harp on how zie can’t have dairy; it’s so fucking severe that zie has gone into seizures from it before when people have slipped zem dairy because they didn’t believe zie had an allergy.
This doesn’t happen with eggs. Zie is not forced constantly into saying, “I have an allergy to eggs,” but zie IS forced into doing that with dairy. Why? BECAUSE ALL YOU TWITS EAT DAIRY IN EVERY GODDAMN THING, THAT’S WHY. And even more, people will start unconsciously upping their dairy intake once they know, simply because of some screwed up cognitive dissonance thing, like: no, it’s fine to eat dairy, i swarez it it must be fine thats what they told me and animals are here for my pleasure scream.
On top of that, zie has to come off as annoying because people will assume it’s lactose intolerance instead of an actual life-or-death allergy and refuse to admit there’s whey or casein in the food.
If you don’t want someone with an allergy to continuously bitch about it, maybe you should take a second and think that they might not trust you.
P.S. Getting a separate cake makes you a shitty friend, too. If vegan cakes are crappy, then there’s two options: 1) the person who made them is crappy at baking, 2) you are so convinced it won’t taste good that it doesn’t.
Jan 21, 2010 at 8:58 pm rating: 90
#56
orinoco womble
Of course we all know that Kim’s birthday is all about her friends, not her at all! Right? I mean, why celebrate the person’s life in a way that honours them, when you can insist that there be food and entertainment tailored to your wonderful wants and needs? Why be friends at all? Oh, yeah–she is the one with the birthday (ie excuse for you to party for an hour or so.)
Tell you what, “friends”–why don’t y’all just go out for whatever and leave Kim in peace. It’s probably the best gift you could give her.
Jan 23, 2010 at 7:26 am rating: 90
#57 She means it. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] Let the rest of us eat cake. Share0mail [...]
Oct 6, 2010 at 8:19 pm rating: 90
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