Why can’t we all just get along?

June 29th, 2010 · 63 comments

Hey, here’s some advice! If you’re looking to improve your relationships with your roommates, communicating through the erasable whiteboard might not be the most effective way to go.

Why can't we all just get along? DON'T BE BITCHES!

(Above, from a sorority house in L.A.; below, from a shared apartment in Chicago.)

Our communication is pretty bad. We should talk as a group when WE are ready.

related: Facebook, another poor medium for mediating roommate disputes

FILED UNDER: Chicago · Los Angeles · roommates · sorority girls · whiteboard

63 responses so far ↓

  • #1   jinx

    Way to stir the pot. As if no one else noticed the tension. I bet note posters will claim they’re not into drama.

    Jun 29, 2010 at 5:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Kay

      LOL everyone I know who claim they hate drama are the ones who create the most

      Jun 29, 2010 at 5:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   infant tyrone bang

      Are y’all related to those DoubleMint twins ?
      Singular? Plural? It’s soooo confusing! 2? 1? What’s 1 2 do?

      I hate to get techical on you, but…

      Everyone is a singular pronoun.
      Yeah, it doesn’t make sense.
      So, sue me and piss on Shakespeare’s grave if it makes you happy.

      Jun 29, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   dissipatedfog bang

      The most passive-aggressive person I’ve known was an ex-roommate who DESPISED passive-aggressive people. So I was as passive-aggressive with her as I could be and it was fucking delicious!

      Jun 29, 2010 at 9:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   jinx

      I love how everyone here pretends to be a grammar police officer, but when notes come up about tipping and menial work everyone talks about the time they were a waiter/waitress and the time they were paid to clean something. So, those impressive grammar skills REALLY got you ahead in life. I don’t have the best grammar, and I often don’t care enough to check it when I post here, but all of my jobs have been in office buildings that require a better attire than jeans. Maybe some people, such as myself, enjoy having errors for people for a stick up their ass about grammar, like INFANT TURD, er Tyrone. Please, stop cyber stalking me and replying to my posts. I know you were replying to someone else, but seriously. I’m tired of seeinf your replies to my threads. (Yes, I made a typo on seeing, but I’m too lazy to fix, bitch!)

      Jun 29, 2010 at 9:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   ISpy

      @ ty and jinx:

      Why can we all just get along?


      Jun 29, 2010 at 11:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   Donna Martin Graduates!

      LOL @ jinx. My mother is a grammar Nazi (as am I, at times) and I sometimes leave typos in my emails just to drive her craaaaazy!

      Jun 29, 2010 at 11:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   TheOldSchool bang

      Jinx, this may sound shallow, but I think most of the people who read PAN enjoy seeing you get all hot and bothered about random remarks that you have somehow perceived to be directed your way.

      By single-handedly expanding the parameters of where the deep end actually ends, you have managed to make each of us view ourselves as being just a tad more sane than we thought we were before you began posting.

      As this phenomenon occurs only when one judges oneself on a comparative scale, I’d kindly ask that you continue posting your deep insights.

      Jun 29, 2010 at 11:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.8   Sean Jungian

      This is something that good old-fashioned domestic violence could handle!

      Jun 29, 2010 at 11:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.9   infant tyrone bang

      everyone I know who claim they hate drama are the ones who create the most…..Get along ? With that ? I will work hard, Sensei ! I will need to.

      From the shallow salutation to the middle paragraph’s salutary analysis of the new deep end, I’m confident that most of the people reading PAN salute your conclusion that, as nuts as s/he makes some of us, we’d all be a little bit crazier if jinx were no longer an occasional poster here.

      I hope it won’t offend you, but while reading your memo (toTurner?),
      the meme of Nixon being uniquely suited to the task of “opening China” came screaming across my viewfinder.

      If that is a troubling idea, maybe it will soothe you somewhat that I also flashed on Carl Jung’s assessment of James Joyce and his daughter Lucia, who was a patient of Jung’s…‘It’s like they both are sinking to the bottom, only he is diving and she is drowning.’

      Bueller ? Anyone ?
      Is it just me, or does it strike anyone else as odd that jinx and Kay are raking in thumbs hand over fist on the first night that they are no longer seen playing at the same table on any of the popular poker sites ?

      Jun 30, 2010 at 12:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.10   Janellionaire

      Oh man, I was so close to going team Tyrone, but that last response swung me back to Jinx. Are you stalking these people on the internet? Maybe you’re the crazy one, hombre.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 1:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.11   infant tyrone bang

      It was just a joke. I play for play money on PokerStars every 4 months or so, but I don’t scout for PANistas. There I’m all play and no chat.

      Jinx posts here more often than that and provokes a bit of controversy.
      Check out jinx’s views on domestic violence from the Friday dustup.

      I was just implying that jinx and Kay collaborated to get their thumb scores tonight, or that they are two names for the same person.

      P.S. If you read Friday’s thread, you can find 8 different people who ‘stalked’ (responded to) jinx, but I wasn’t among them.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 2:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.12   jinx

      @ Janel- I’m not being paranoid, Tyrone seems to really enjoy stalking my posts on here. Which would be fine, but seriously it’s getting annoying how smug he’s trying to be. If he dislikes me so much, maybe he should avoid me. I know I never comment on the stupid shit he says. I know someone as unintelligent as Tyrone can’t be a woman. Better yet, he’s still probably annoyed with me at sh*t that happened months ago. Honestly, PAN is starting to get unfun again. Might bail.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 2:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.13   jinx

      Tyrone, why are you brining in old posts? It makes you look like more of a stalker. Maybe, your shitty attitude is why no is sticking their thumb up your ass. I mean, you’re talking about a sexual act, right? Considering how how and bothered you’re getting about my count when you have 0. I suppose I am the more unpopular one, though.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 3:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.14   anglophile bang

      I was just going to post how incredibly bored I was with jinx’s tired trolling act, but then the typo above which led me to picture ty soaking in a turkey roaster in salt water made me laugh. Carry on.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 7:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.15   Terrence lewis

      You know Jinx is a obvious troll, it’s a clearer than mercury filled tube. I would guess probably 14 years old boy who does not have a younger sibling to make fun of so he comes here posts offensive stuff and gets his fix.
      infant tyrone on the other hand is a troll who does not know that he a is a troll. He waits on his toes that somebody replied to him or just even say his name and then he posts big and filled with inane shit comments. The funny thing is that he thinks that referencing pop culture is barometer of intelligence. riiiight! As if nobody knows you can find whatever you want on internet and even if he is pulling out references from his brain than it’s a mere indicator of good memory not intelligence. Well, I am prepared for the most obscure, inane babble infant tyrone will post that will take this whole web page in reply to this comment.
      Bring it on baby.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 10:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.16   TheOldSchool bang


      “Would ye happen to know just how old a post must be before it can get right down to business and properly impregnate the salty brine?”

      Jun 30, 2010 at 11:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.17   Janellionaire

      damn, tyrone, i just read that whole thread on domestic violence. that dude is fuuuuucked up.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 11:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.18   Atheist Scum Unite!

      Thanks for the link, Tyrone.
      Jinx, get a new nickname, creep, you have been outed as the ugly troll you are!

      Jun 30, 2010 at 11:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.19   Mo® bang

      “Arrrr that is all corny beef!”

      Jun 30, 2010 at 12:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.20   infant tyrone bang

      Aye, Captain TOS…
      I couldn’t find the answer in Brillat-Savarin’s tome, but I found a solution by playing Christopher Cross’ Saline backwards.
      Only problem now is these Old Salt references have me tied up in knots,
      and Michael Moore’s Bowline for Columbine won’t turn me loose.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 12:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.21   infant tyrone bang

      PAN is my Dennis Miller-itis therapy group.
      Thanks for allowing that I may have a good memory.
      If you need a longer read, try Much Ado About Nothing, or

      Jun 30, 2010 at 12:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.22   oi bang

      The best fucking comment in this thread of 22 comments? 1.10 Janellionaire’s comment.
      “Are you stalking these people on the internet?”
      The simplicity of that question has me. Mom are you posting on internet with this mouthful name?

      Jun 30, 2010 at 3:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.23   infant tyrone bang

      Might bail?
      Oh noes…

      Jun 30, 2010 at 5:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.24   jinx

      Fuck you Tyrone. I’m never coming back to PAN again.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 6:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.25   luckydogdc bang


      [In case you’re actually still ‘lurking’ out there, Jinx, let me remind you that you’d have to be SUPREMELY pathetic to come back ’cause–and these words might sound familiar to you– people who return to their abusers deserve what they get!!!]

      Jun 30, 2010 at 7:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.26   infant tyrone bang

      Nicely put.
      I’d love to read more and I hope you’ll write more in the future.
      Your logical/verbal trap notwithstanding, her situation/condition may be more complicated than we can ever know, so I won’t be surprised to see similar thoughts published here in the future under a different name.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 9:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.27   Canthz_B bang

      ♫ Another one bites the dust! ♫

      Bye bye, Jinx. Don’t let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya! ;-)

      Jul 1, 2010 at 1:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.28   Janellionaire

      Pretty sure Jinx just confirmed his/her identity as that of a cranky 14-yr-old. “Fuck you Tyrone! You always ruin everything!” *runs to bedroom, slams door, cries into pillow*

      Jul 1, 2010 at 1:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.29   zomboid

      “So, sue me and piss on Shakespeare’s grave if it makes you happy.”

      you mean shakespeare, the famous grammarian? remember that play he wrote about the correct use of personal pronouns? i loved that one.

      Jul 1, 2010 at 3:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.30   infant tyrone bang

      yeah, that dude.
      grammarians don’t make a mint,
      so he had a sideline creating vanity license plates.
      HU CN 4GT his classic, 2B R NT 2B

      Jul 1, 2010 at 5:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Ethrdg

    When they are ready to talk, how will they be able to communicate that to one another (given that they’re bad at it and all)?

    “&*$# every single one of you and your notes on communication, mother#@$%ers!”

    (Translation: My dearest friend, I have read your note and am ready to sit down and have soul-searching, honest talk about communication.)

    Jun 29, 2010 at 5:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   clumber

      Via cell txt, of course!

      Furious Thumbs!

      Jun 30, 2010 at 8:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Nack

    What’s even more funny is when the wrong person gets accused of writing such kind of notes. Then it turns into Three Stooges type hilarity plus drama!

    Jun 29, 2010 at 5:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Maas

      It’s still all fun and games even after someone loses an eye to a quick poke.

      Jun 29, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   anglophile bang

      Then it’s hilarious.

      Jun 29, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   jinx

    What’s this we business? I think the second note writer suffers from multiple personalities.

    Jun 29, 2010 at 6:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Nice observation, Jinx.

      If the message was written by someone afflicted with MPD, we should all feel sorry for the personality who wrote it.

      Why is it that it’s always the earnest, hopeful personalities who seem to get ignored or abused by those who are more cynical and brash?

      Were there to be a group meeting, I have a feeling that it would start out OK, but then descend into one of those alcohol-fueled festivals of facetiousness that start out with minor spurts of derisive laughter sprinkled here and there, but then the laughter become increasingly frequent and manic. Loud. Menacing. Hostile. The anarchy footage is played.

      We all know how it ends — the village gets destroyed and the milder personalities are repeatedly and violently sodomized.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 10:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Gladystopia

      Didn’t that happen on one of the early seasons of Top Chef?

      Jun 30, 2010 at 12:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   TheOldSchool

      Gladystopia, I think you’re confusing the early seasons of Top Chef with the love scenes between Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer in Top Gun.

      It’s easily done.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   infant tyrone bang

      TOS, you may want to throttle back on the pop culture references. Neighborhood Watch @# 1.15 may be I-Ching to engineer your downfall.
      Maybe they’re just after me, but remember Martin Niemoller’s riff.

      Yeah, Top Chef, Top Gun, food love, dood love…where does it all end?

      It may end with the new, irreverently anachronistic series of ads for
      I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, which (the ads) feature a number of today’s finest vocal impressionists overdubbing their version of Brando saying the brand name onto a clip of the relevant scene from Last Tango in Paris.
      (I heard they tried to get Maria Bamford to do an impression of Maria Schneider, but Le Bammer declined, saying it was “too inside baseball”.)

      If it doesn’t end with that series of ads, FoodTV could be the handmaiden to Götterdämmerung if they release the series they’ve had under wraps, called Bottom Chefs. This one, naturally, has great cooks of a masochistic bent preparing kick-ass dishes, then savoring a succession of succulently sadistic comments made by a panel of qualified-but-cruel critics.

      On second thought, you can be careful and work for the clampdown if you want to, but as long as I’m here, I think I’ll be here with neurons blazing.

      Jul 1, 2010 at 12:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   park rose bang

      ty, 1.15 has a point. That is all.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 5:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   infant tyrone bang

      I was up front about a year ago when I told you and the regular crew here that I would be prone to the technique of rebounding off of someone else’s post and trying to in some way address what they said (or how they said it) while also trying to pivot and take off in a different direction.

      Pop culture references are one way to attempt a comprehensible segue. I’m older than the average PANista, so maybe many of the references are difficult to get without 30 seconds worth of research (as #1.15 points out, nearly anyone can do it and I try to use Proper Nouns and names to make it easy). I’m not paying for anyone’s eyeballs or brain cells and I’m sure not getting paid in anything other than thumbs, so unless somebody’s being forced to read something, nobody’s getting short-changed.

      Unless people are blowing smoke up my ass, I think I have more than a few civil, even cordial, off-thread relationships with regulars. I am cool with the fact that because of what I’m trying to do with comments here (and the fact that I, like most of us, have high and low-quality comments), I put out a fair number of posts that get zero thumbs. Neither does it bother me when something gets 1 or 2. Some of my best moments have occurred when one lone person ‘gets it’ and likes it enough to say so.
      And the comments that go light or dark-green tell me that not all of the references are hopelessly obscure and that I must be entertaining some folks in here.

      If “Terrence lewis” and 10 other people feel the way they voted, they’re welcome to use this. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scroll_wheel
      I hope the majority will left-click the bottom-right icon when the spirit moves them and scratch their heads and mutter “WTF is that old coot on about now?” when it doesn’t. Per Ellerbee and Lowe: And so it goes.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 6:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Resident Grammarian esq bang

    What do you mean communication is bad? That whiteboard looks pretty used to me, if people can no longer communicate by whiteboard then civilization is doomed.

    Jun 29, 2010 at 7:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Meesh

      Right. I mean, if your communication is bad, how is sitting around talking going to help? That’s what the white board is for.

      Jun 30, 2010 at 8:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Rubber Chicken


    Jun 29, 2010 at 8:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Rubber Chicken

      Damn, hit the submit button by mistake.

      What I was going to say was, that first note contradicts itself. Asking everyone to get along, and then calling the other roommates bitches.

      And the way that the word “we” is underlined in that second note makes me think it should be “I’m”.

      Jun 29, 2010 at 8:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   shwonline bang

      Um, I’m pretty sure the first note is an exchange between two people.


      Jun 29, 2010 at 9:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   TippingCows

    Is the writer of the second note referring to themselves in the royal “we”? Because if so, that makes it even more effin’ delicious!

    Jun 29, 2010 at 11:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   JetJackson

    We have one of these in my sharehouse. A few months back one of my flatmates didn’t put the dishes away. The other flatmate moved the whiteboard into the kitchen and wrote “These need to be put away before you leave the house today” with an arrow pointing to the dishes. Rather than leave a note she moved the entire whiteboard to where the dishes were.

    Unfortunately I was only told about this by the lazy flatmate and was not there to take a photo.

    Jun 30, 2010 at 12:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   FeRD bang

      It puts away this mess today, or else there will be hell to pay!

      Jun 30, 2010 at 8:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Mad Jack Slam

    Why can’t we all just get along?

    That’s one of my favourite lines from Mars Attacks. Jack Nicholson (as the US President) says it to the little alien fella who then… err… kills him. Ever since, I’ve thought that people should use it with caution.

    Jun 30, 2010 at 2:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   H for Toy bang

    from a sorority house in L.A.

    and she expects them not to be bitches? Really?

    Jun 30, 2010 at 8:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    What’s with all this whiteboard stuff? Since when did we stop using blackboards?

    It’s racial discrimination, I tell ya!! A damned conspiracy designed to keep people of color from expressing passive-aggressive sentiments!!!

    What? No redboards, brownboards or yellowboards? Can’t we all get along?!

    Jul 1, 2010 at 1:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Janellionaire

      Why is it always ok to discriminate against whiteboards and not other colors of boards? Maybe if blackboards stopped being so hard to erase they could get ahead too! They have the same opportunities! If they choose to hold themselves back by their INTOLERANCE of markers, it is nobody’s fault but their own.

      Jul 1, 2010 at 1:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe because whiteboards aren’t being discriminated against? I don’t know of any whiteboards that would be overjoyed to wake-up one morning and find they were now a blackboard.

      There was a time when chalk manufacturers reached out to the blackboard community with many different colors of chalk, each with a rich voice all its own.
      The advent of the whiteboard, with its INTOLERANCE of chalk-speech, simply made communication by chalk impossible within its borders.

      I don’t think blackboards ever intend to be erased, so get used to having them around. They watched what happened to the native carbon paper (not to mention the fountain pen massacre), and don’t plan to follow suit.

      I mean, what are you gonna do if your little whiteboard with the blond frame and blue markers brings home a blackboard with a big fat stick of chalk? What if they make a little yellow legal pad?

      It’s nobody’s fault but their own? Sounds like you’re saying “Get with the program”…as long as it’s the whiteboards’ program. Maybe it’s time for the whiteboards to pay some attention, respect even, to all of the other programs in the world. ;-)

      Jul 1, 2010 at 2:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Marge

    Oh, my, this post made me laugh! What a funny reminder of my college days and all those noxious roomies. Notice these comments all appear to be in feminine handwriting. Most guys just ignore all this stuff or fight each other and it is over. Now, come on all you easily offended commenting folks – I’m expecting to be called a chauvinist – even though I am a female myself….

    Jul 1, 2010 at 3:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Janellionaire

    Look, I don’t have anything against blackboards personally. I went to school with lots of them. I wouldn’t even have a problem if my kid brought one home. All I’m trying to say is that to ignore the differences between whiteboards and blackboards is ignorant. Until there is one universal color of board, there will always be disagreement and tension between those who prefer whiteboards, and those who prefer blackboards. I happen to prefer using whiteboards (chalk makes my fingers dusty) and I’m tired of the social stigma that comes with saying that out loud.

    Jul 1, 2010 at 3:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Canthz_B bang

      Um, no…to continue to maintain that there are significant differences between whiteboards and blackboards is what is ignorant.

      Both can convey important messages which need to be read and respected.

      There will always be disagreement and tension between those who prefer whiteboards, and those who prefer blackboards, but only as long as there continues to be idiots who base their preferences upon the color of the board rather than what message the board contains.

      Maybe that’s why there’s a stigma about it, because most people now understand that it’s not the color of the board, but the content of the board which matters most.
      If you’re tired of the stigma which comes along with saying such drivel out loud…GOOD…don’t type it either!!
      Be a boardist inside what passes for your mind.

      Try dust-free chalk…it doesn’t rub off on you, really. ;-)

      Jul 2, 2010 at 4:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Mrs Rochester

    It’s scary how alike the handwriting and attitude of the first picture are to mine. Who would have guessed that in some parallel universe I joined a bitchy sorority and handled it passive-aggressive-style. I’d like to visit the one where I skip the passive and go straight to aggressive.

    Jul 1, 2010 at 7:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   I love you, you’re perfect, now leave | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Why can’t we all just get along? Don’t be bitches! TweetShare0mail [...]

    Feb 28, 2011 at 7:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Roommate wanted: NO OLDS! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] roommates hasn’t convinced you already, our archives provides ample proof than “bitchy” is far from synonymous with [...]

    Mar 27, 2011 at 11:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Sure, she’s dumb as a box of hair, but… | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy about her disposing of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works. Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along? [...]

    Dec 4, 2011 at 8:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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