The most unpleasant of pleasantries

July 22nd, 2010 · 197 comments

So, Jen in Ontario, Canada just moved into a new shared living arrangement…with a 50-something lady. “I thought having an older person as a roommate would more peaceful,” she explains. “Turns out I was wrong.” Communication skills, it seems, aren’t one of those things that necessarily improve with age.

Within a week of moving in, Jen says, there were “helpful instructions” taped up all around the house. After that, the notes just kept coming, accusing Jen of everything from filling the dishwasher with soy sauce to sabotaging the tea kettle — always book-ended by a “Pls” and “Thank you,” of course. Because that’s how mature adults act.

Pls stop. Thank you!

Pls empty water in kettle after you've finished with it. The hard water destroys the bottom of the inside of the kettle. Thanks! (turn over page) Pls use Brita water in kettle out of small Brita pitcher in fridge. Thank you!

P.S. Also please rinse your dishes before you put things in much soya sauce in dishwasher.

related: The Post-it Wars

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · kitchen · laundry · old folks · Ontario · p.s. · roommates

197 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jonathan

    Well, well, well! It looks like THX SANDRA has turned over a “new leaf”, and with gusto! Attagirl.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Mrs Rocheter

    Pls also the also last note also is my favorite.
    P.S. Thank you.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kat

    To be fair, most of the issues addressed in these notes seem fairly reasonable to me. If you’re living in a shared situation and using another person’s items/appliances, they have a right to tell you how they would like them treated.

    However, the flurry of notes does seem a bit absurd.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Maas

      I think the worst thing going for the note writer is her insistence on putting “pls” where “please” would be better suited. Unless she’s calling her roommate a Polish Lowland Sheepdog…

      Jul 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Wendy

      I agree that they’re reasonable. I guess along with a 50-year old being “peaceful,” you also get “forgetful” so she has to write the notes when she’s thinking of these things.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Kirsten

      I agree. It sounds like Sandra is a slob of a housemate. Rather than taking inventory of the notes, maybe she could lift a finger around the house. The notes–though superfluous–are polite, and (in my opinion) NOT passive aggressive.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   Kirsten

      I mean “Jen” is a slob. Not sure where “Sandra” came from.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   JetJackson

      Team “If you want to live in a share house and have the benefits of lower rent that come with it then you have to accept that not all the people in the world have the same attention to detail and standards of cleanliness as yourself.” People like the ’50-something-year-old’ above should live by themselves.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.6   veritybrown

      I agree. My initial impression, as I started reading the notes, is that Jen turned out to be a slob of a roommate. As the notes went on, though, a degree of control-freakery crept in that made me think that perhaps we’ve got an Odd Couple situation going. Anyway, I think they are not cut out to be roommates.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.7   baffy

      These notes are reasonable. Hard water does destroy a kettle bottom, and cleaning up after yourself is a kindergarten rule.

      Wet dishes in the cupboard can harbor bacteria. Rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher=normal. If the filter is not all the way in a Britta pitcher, it won’t filter, duh. The only people who will take offense to these or think they’re extreme are youngsters who haven’t been through too many life experiences (like a house fire from running an old dryer on high all the time and not keeping the lint trap clean).

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.8   Splint Chesthair

      Yeah, that’s too many notes.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.9   lala

      I’m rather suprised by these comments.. even if she was a slob, then she should be told to her face about expectations and responsibility and not in a serious of notes. Regardless, repeated notes like these are just beyond offensive. Grow up!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.10   veritybrown

      Based on clues in the notes, the note-writer doesn’t actually SEE Jen face-to-face all that often. Also, it makes a certain degree of sense to leave a note at the location where the problem is happening, so Jen can’t claim “oh, I just forgot.” I agree that the older woman is something of a neat-freak, but it’s Jen who needs to grow up and start cleaning up after herself.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.11   SlightlyAnnoyedRoomate

      I too think these notes are reasonable. In fact, I might use them as examples for when I inevitably start leaving notes for MY roommate. Notes such as:
      Pls do not put items covered in cat litter in the kitchen sink and/or dishwasher. It is unsanitary, and the other day I found a very small, yellow worm wriggling around near the drain. Wash them out in the bathroom sink. Thank you.

      Pls remove your cat’s litter box from the bathroom. We agreed before we signed the lease that it would go in the master bedroom’s vanity. I am tired of sweeping up cat litter, and the box blocks the way to the bath tub, so I can’t put a bath mat down. Thank you.
      Pls pay me the $200 you owe me for the security deposit, cable/internet, insurance, and electricity bill. Since you have the larger of the two bedrooms, plus the private sink, I think it’s more than reasonable that I am only making you pay half the rent (especially since you have not removed the cat box from the bathroom). Thank you.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 11:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.12   That Random Chick

      Slightly Annoyed:

      How about instead of leaving a series of notes, you put on your big girl panties and have a face-to-face confrontation with your roommate?

      Used to have a note-leaver as a next door neighbor

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.13   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      The Britta instructions go way off the deep end. Don’t pour water directly on the filter? Why, is it going to start a fire?

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.14   Lei

      I agree – it seems like what the notes ask Jen to do are kind of common sense (if you’re the kind of person who wants to conserve resources and take care of the things you own), but the barrage of notes would annoy the heck out of me.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 1:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.15   Gwan

      I think it’s the ‘try not to stain the really good dish towel’ that proves it’s the note-writer who’s over the top here, not the recipient. And going through things like the dryer settings and emptying the kettle etc. are not common sense things you’d expect everyone to know (like ‘wipe the counter’) so they should have been done face-to-face when the person moved in.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 4:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.16   Rachel

      Actually, I think the reasoning behind not pouring directly on the filter is because if you have ever tried that (accidentally of course), the charcoal (or whatever the black stuff is inside the filter..) comes out of the filter and is then in the top of your Brita pitcher. Probably won’t hurt you, I don’t even think it can get into the water on the bottom, but still kinda yucky looking when you refill the top of the pitcher.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 11:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.17   Maas

      And I think when the black stuff comes out of the filter, the filter starts to function poorly, which necessitates replacing it a head of schedule, and they aren’t free.

      The dish towel bit does sound a bit crazy, but if it’s a decorative towel hanging on the stove, and intended for people to use to dry their hands or something, rather than a washcloth for scrubbing dishes, I could see why the owner (who may have had it for a long time) wouldn’t want it to be used to clean up beet juice.

      Of course it is certainly possible that the note writer is insanely fussy and the recipient is already doing more than necessary to keep the house in good working order, but as I read the notes, I shifted from my preconceived “Note writers are crazy fussy people” bias to thinking “why doesn’t Jen clean up after her self, and why does she want to destroy the nice lady’s tea kettle?”

      Jul 24, 2010 at 12:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.18   billybob

      Who knew there were so many freaks in the world? It’s reasonable to demand that someone empties out the kettle after use?! lol.
      Sorry – the lady who wrote the notes is nuts and so are you guys. Enjoy your cats.

      Jul 24, 2010 at 2:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.19   Maas

      You nailed it billybob, we’re extremely mental. Some day I hope to be well adjusted enough to look forward to replacing things that people kindly mess up for me, rather than suggesting they use them properly like some kind of “please don’t break my stuff” Nazi.

      Jul 24, 2010 at 5:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.20   billybob

      Nice one Maas – passive aggressive reply on PAN! No need to change, just don’t inflict your neurosis on others by getting a roommate or *shudder* getting married.

      Jul 26, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.21   Maas

      Thanks billybob, I aim to please, and that seemed pretty fitting. Currently it isn’t legal for an internet persona to marry, so I think the world is safe.

      Jul 26, 2010 at 4:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.22   Callaghan

      Seriously? She’s complaining about the most minute things imaginable, and about things that haven’t even happened. “I had to put out a really good dish towel, so please try not to stain it.” What? And putting away a dish that has a drop of water on it is not a crime against humanity. If she wants to live with a housemate, she needs to learn to compromise, and not expect to be able to constantly bark orders via notes. Or else she needs to carefully screen housemates to make sure they’re as much of a neat freak as her. pls

      Jul 28, 2010 at 12:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.23   Wench bang

      This is EXACTLY why I will NEVER house share….

      Aug 2, 2010 at 9:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Matt

    I like how the note about the water in the kettle has the names blocked out, even though you can clearly make out the names on the reverse side (and we already know Jen is one of the names).

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   alison

    SO many notes…. and apparently so many broken things in that place. seriously, might be time to update appliances!

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   veritybrown

      Perhaps the reason this woman is taking on a roommate is because she’s having trouble getting by on just her paycheck. Not everyone can afford to run out and buy brand new appliances the minute the old ones start to act up.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   baffy

      And who is paying for those expensive appliances? Certainly not the roommate. If a person takes in a roommate that means they need the money, hello?

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   ClearlyDemented

    Sadly, I am mostly angered by these notes because they are a sad glimpse into my future. In 20 years, should I have a roommate, I will be just as annoyingly controlling and anal as this woman. I already understand and completely agree with the Brita note; spraying water directly into the filter makes the charcoal (or whatever’s in there) come out the little holes in the top.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   kat

      LMAO! We could live together!

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Mike626

      It’s true. Full force water on the Brita would be right out. Solution: buy a BritaMax. It’s huge so there are fewer refills, but best of all the door to fill water is a full8 inches from the filter!

      Jul 22, 2010 at 11:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Kel

      Sorry, Mike…50-yr-old-lady is definitely not going to invest in a new Brita pitcher….she’s trying to save up for a new washer, dryer and tea kettle! Why do you think she took on slobby-young-Jen who doesn’t even know how to wipe the soya sauce off her dirty dishes!!! The audacity! Today’s youth…geesh!!!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   Janellionaire

      Oh, and don’t get me STARTED on the tea-kettle issue! I have a kettle that is ONLY for boiling water for tea, oatmeal, etc. and I cannot convince my husband to quit brewing coffee IN it, and then leaving it for days. It is not that easy to clean! That’s why I only put water in it! This site is convincing me that I need to start putting notes up around my house.

      “Pls do not open the new peanut butter until the old peanut butter is gone. Also, leaving the jar open with a fork in it does not count as putting it away. Thankyou.

      “Pls place wet towels in the designated ‘dirty’ hamper, not in my clean clothes. The dirty hamper is now, and has always been, the only blue one. Also pls stop refolding your socks before putting them in the dirty hamper. They will never get clean or dry like that. Thankyou.”

      “Pls flush the toilet EVERY time you use it, especially if it’s a number two. The Toilet Flushing Fairy quit because too many people were leaving it clogged for the next poor soul to deal with. Thankyou.”

      I feel like I’m really on to something here. I also feel like, if the people you live with, be they roommates or spouses and children, behave like they are functionally retarded, and/or deaf, they deserve a blizzard of PA notes.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, and close the damned closets and drawers, don’t walk away from an open refrigerator, leave the faucet running while you take a phone call…and for God’s sake, how many lights and TVs does an empty room need turned on to stay entertained?

      Come to think of it, the wedding is off, Babe!!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 2:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.6   Froget Menot

      Thanks CB , for clearly voicing our issues.
      We really appreciate.

      The Appliances.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.7   Z

      Your husband does not need a note. I have a brother like this, a jab to the ribs or a smack to the back of the head whenever you say anything is the only way they get it.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 11:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Jen sounds like “the room mate from Hell” to me.

    A slob who half does everything can be a real pain in the neck to have to live with.

    Luckily, she has a mature room mate to teach her what her mommy should have about cleaning up after herself.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   prairielily

      I agree and disagree. She doesn’t sound like the cleanest roommate. I have one who is like that as well. Mine actually thinks she’s pretty neat!

      I don’t believe it’s a roommate’s job to have to follow someone around going, “Did you wipe the crumbs off the counter? They get stuck there and then I have to scrub for twenty minutes to get them off,” but I fail to understand why Jen couldn’t be advised that the appliances aren’t working properly in person.

      Jul 25, 2010 at 11:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   ADC

      How can you possibly assume that Jen is the slob? Have you ever lived with a way-too-uptight roommate? I lived with someone who was my best friend and ended up moving out after 4 months — I was not a slob, she was just batshit insane on how things operated in her own household. I cleaned every week.

      Leaving a note every single day is clearly the sign of someone who is a little OCD, regardless of whether Jen is a slob or not. How could she possibly know how her roommate fills the Brita pitcher unless she was watching?

      You guys have to learn to CHILL OUT. Life is not worth wasting over how clean your counter is or how you fill a Brita pitcher. Leave the confines of your pretty little apartment and go DO SOMETHING.

      Jul 26, 2010 at 12:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      ADC I agree that if two people move in together at the same time there should be a give and take.

      But if you move into a home someone else has established, it is you who must conform to the established norms of their home.

      Sure, she could not know about how to fill the water filter without being shown or told…hence the instructional note…WTF?

      You say your roommate was way too uptight, I suppose your roommate would say you were way too lax. Coins have two sides, but roaches prefer the side with crumbs and water on the counter. ;-)

      Jul 31, 2010 at 1:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   infant tyrone bang

      Filling a Brita with too much force has a way of forcing little bits
      of carbon out of the filter element down into the pitcher.
      It won’t hurt the water much, but it rubs some drinkers the wrong way.

      There may be a YT video on the subject. Search away.

      Jul 31, 2010 at 8:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   kat

    Honestly, I’m not bothered by these. They seem like reasonable requests. I’m sure I’d have to say similar things if someone new moved into my place. It just seems like an awful lot because Jen has to get used to how everything is used. Cleaning up the surfaces when you’re done, putting away DRY dishes & rinsing before putting in there? Seems obvious to me. Jen sounds like a bit of a slob.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 9:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Splint Chesthair

      If someone is paying half the rent then they are entitled to be half as clean as you (or twice as dirty).

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Not Jen

    True dat about the Brita. I hate it when those little charcoal things float around in the top.

    I suspect Jen is a slob.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Kel

    Kat….you make me laugh! There is absolutely nothing about these notes that is reasonable! A person should not be dictated to on how to wash & dry their clothes for goodness sake!

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   kat

      I agree with that. But I don’t think that’s what she’s doing. I think she’s just telling her how this particular washer & dryer best work. She did say she was going to get new ones. Like, right now, my washer needs half-loads or else it won’t spin. I’d have to tell someone that if they moved in. Not dictating…helping – lol! :0)

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Ellen

      The writer was simply giving direction on how to use that particular older machine. I think the notes were very polite and as others pointed out, were directed about very simple clean up tasks the girl should have already been doing! Maybe she isn’t aware of the Brita filter problem or that hard water will degrade the inside of a tea kettle, so you have to empty it. The older woman is working what sounds like long hours and isn’t there to talk herself.
      I’ve found that after my 40th birthday I have become far more set in my ways around the house and would be seriously harsh to any roommate now, let alone when I am yet another 10+ years older!

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Canthz_B bang

      True, no one should have to be dictated to…unless they leave water on the counter tops, think that the dishwasher is also a garbage disposal, ruin your pots and pans with hard water when you’ve invested in a water filter, or try to burn your house down because they don’t get the concept of cleaning the dryer lint trap after each load.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Just Me

      I agree that the dryer note is not excessive. I well remember the first load of laundry I threw in the dryer that the former owners left with our house.

      I’d always used the “high” setting on the dryer at my childhood home and at our first apartment, so I did the same thing with the dryer at our new house.

      My load of freshly-washed whites came out yellowed and smelling toasted. Really.

      Jul 24, 2010 at 2:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   BurstingAtTheSeams

      The notes about the washer/dryer might be reasonable, but I do feel that the woman should have explained that to Jen upon her moving in. But maybe she had to work (5 days straight).

      Jul 24, 2010 at 11:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Twez

    These notes are in no way unreasonable, unless the woman is writing notes when it is just as easy to speak to Jen. Ok, the one about the kettle is a little wacky, but hell, maybe it’s one of those $50 ones. I am more shocked that someone needs to be told to wipe up after themselves and rinse their damn dishes.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   veritybrown

      If you’re not a kettle user and you don’t also have hard water where you live, it’s understandable that you wouldn’t “get” the kettle complaint. Hard water builds up nasty deposits inside kettles. Back before water filters, my mom used to boil vinegar in her kettle occasionally to try to cut down the deposits and extend its life, but it still had to be replaced on a regular basis.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      I once resorted to using distilled water in my iron, my water was so hard the steam ports would clog if I used tap water.
      Distilled spirits left an unflattering scent in my clothes, but my smiley face t-shirt turned into a grinning face with oddly skewed eyes!

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Kate

      I thought everyone used distilled water to iron. At my place we just call it ‘ironing water’!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 1:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Sarah

      You can actually buy “ironing water” at the hardware shop, believe it or not! I use Brita water and it works fine – no buildup.

      My flatmate’s girlfriend moved in (without my permission) late last year, and she seemed to prefer my iron over his (or the couple of spare irons that previous flatmates had left behind). Grr. I don’t know what kind of water she put in it but every time I tried to use it it spat brown limescale buildup onto my white shirts. I had to keep it in my room, or clean it every time I used it.

      Then a new girl moved into the other room, and while I was out of the country, the girlfriend told the new girl it was ok to use my iron! When I came back I had to figure out how to ask her to use one of the spare ones instead.

      Finally got rid of the girlfriend, who was only staying for a few days….weeks….months… a few more months… She was sour, unpleasant, loud, and racist too, I’m so glad she’s gone.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   Flaboy2425

      They need to pool their money and get a new dishwasher. The new models come with soft food disposers built in. No pre- rinsiing necessary other than removing bones.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 6:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   Ponytail

      VerityBrown, I AM a kettle user and I live in a hard water area. I have never heard of scale destroying kettles. You descale once or twice a year, usually by boiling vinegar and then leaving it overnight. The main reason for doing so is so you don’t get bits of scale in your tea.
      What kind of weakling kettles do they have in the US ?!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 8:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.7   kisher

      Okay, I’m on Jen’s side in this, especially about the kettle. If the kettle if filled with water from the Brita pitcher than how is it still hard water?

      Instead of a flurry of notes as they go, perhaps the owner should have made a list of expectations, and instructions for the wonky appliances. Something like a three ring binder with an index so Jen can easily find what is expected when using something, like the sink.

      For crying out loud, eight notes? If the owner doesn’t like how Jen is performing in her house then she should sit down and TALK to her, not assault her with a flurry of notes!

      Definitely PA notes!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 8:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.8   veritybrown

      @Ponytail – Very weakling kettles. Unless you want to spend huge amounts of money for one. But most of the expensive kettles don’t have a “whistler” (or didn’t when I was a child), and my mom insisted on having that feature, so she would know when the water was boiling without having to constantly check on it.

      I have a Revereware whistling kettle that I have abused for a good ten years now, but I don’t use it daily like my mom did, and I live where the hard isn’t so hard.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.9   clumber

      11.5 wait… wait… wait… really? Seriously?

      ye gods… I had no idea dishwasher technology had come to that. I am SO going to start nagging the Household CFO for a new dishwasher…

      (not even sarcastic!)

      Clumber, on Team “It doesn’t matter how ‘reasonable’ the requests are individually when you try to smother with constant repeated PAN!!!”

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.10   Somebody Somewhere

      It’s true. I have one. It’s like magic. Mine pumps the funky food water into the sink’s garbage disposal and then you just run the garbage disposal after running the dishwasher.

      Greatest. Invention. Ever.

      I hate pre-rinsing dishes.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 2:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.11   Canthz_B bang

      Kisher, I think the issue is that Jen was NOT using Brita water in the kettle.

      First the writer was just going to tell her to empty the kettle, then thought about it, and advised her to use Brita water.

      Jul 25, 2010 at 3:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.12   tigre

      11.6: If you only have to remove buildup in your kettle a couple times a year, you don’t live in a hard water area. When I lived in Florida I had to clean my kettle with vinegar at least once a week, and I used filtered water. And besides, if you reboil previously boiled water, it’s going to wind up tasting flat, so what’s the point of leaving water in it unless you’re just lazy?

      Jul 25, 2010 at 1:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.13   Ponytail

      11.12 When I bought my dishwasher, I was asked to check with my water company on the hardness of my water, and it seems it’s the worst water in Britain.
      However, no idea of the quality in Florida, or indeed, anywhere else in the US, so will not be able to compare. But jeez, descaling every week ?
      And don’t all kettles come with an automatic switch-off function when they’ve boiled ? No need for whistles.

      Jul 26, 2010 at 11:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.14   lownote

      @Ponytail Americans seem to use those kettles you put on the cooker…so no automatic switch-off.

      Jul 31, 2010 at 10:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   AH

    “soya sauce”? SOYA?

    I agree about these notes being reasonable, but a bit like being pecked to death by a chicken.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   notolaf

      “Soya” is an older term.

      And I think you mean “nibbled to death by ducks.” Pecked to death by chickens would actually be pretty brutal.

      Tks! :)

      Jul 22, 2010 at 11:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      Big Bird could make it a quick and painless death though. ;-)

      Jul 23, 2010 at 2:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   someone

      We say soya all the time in Canada.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   veritybrown

    If Jen wants a “peaceful” living arrangement, she should find a roommate who has the same ideas that she does about housekeeping. That’s also a good tip to consider when you’re choosing a spouse. I thank my lucky stars that my husband is comfortable with the same level of housekeeping that I am.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Ann

    I hope I never have to take in a younger tenant into my own home if it results in this.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      LOL. I’m willing to bet that this woman has been living on her own for a looooong time. I seriously doubt she will ever be satisfied with any roommate.

      Jul 24, 2010 at 11:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   giggleblue

    um, did anyone notice the highlighting??? like seriously? you wrote the note AND highlighted the key points? eh.

    this reminds me of my mother. i would shoot myself if i were jen.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   veritybrown

      The problem appears to be that Jen is treating 50-something as if she WERE her mother (i.e. as if the woman should be expected to constantly clean up after her). Is it surprising that the note-writer would react the same way to a slob of a “daughter”?

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Meredith

    I do find it odd that the lady points out that she works five days straight. Thursday to Monday is not a typical work week, but most work weeks are five days in a row.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      Depends on the field. Hospital workers, for example, can have really strange hours and shifts.

      My fiancé used to work three 12-hour shifts a week, rarely consecutive days.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 10:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Sarah

      If she worked regular 8-hour-days, she would be home in the evenings to talk to Jen about the cleaning schedule. So it’s quite probable she works 12-hour-days. And then, five days in a row IS a lot.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 5:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   clumber

      unless Jen works 9 4.5 hour shifts on lunar schedule that starts with each Waxing Gibbous, and a shift that begins exactly 4 hours before her schedule last Arbor Day, but moves forward 45 minutes every 3rd shift start.

      Making up backstory explanations is more fun that I imagined!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    I pretty much think that the least and last thing this woman needs to worry about is Jen using her good dish towel.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 10:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   veritybrown

      I get the feeling that by the time 50-something penned that note, she was in despair of her house ever being the same again. You can hear the tension ratcheting up as the notes go on. Jen is literally driving this woman crazy.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Kel

    If the 50 yr old has the time to not only pen these ridiculously nit-picky notes, and then to highlight them and go taping them all around the house like a damn scavenger hunt….then she should certainly have enough time to briefly chat in person with Jen about her old, finicky appliances and how they (don’t really) operate!
    I just hope that when I’m 50, I don’t have appliances the same age as myself!

    Jul 22, 2010 at 11:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      Remind me to have a brief chat with you about the “reply to this comment”/ “add to this thread” features of this website.

      I’d hate to have to leave a note…oops!!

      Jul 22, 2010 at 11:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   meatpopsicle

      Eh? What did Kel do wrong?

      I also think 50 Year Old Crazy needs to chill the hell out. If she must be such a control freak, she should have the cojones to speak to Jen in person. Or perhaps she realises how nitpickypathetic her requests sound when spoken aloud.

      Team Jen.

      Jul 22, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.3   Canthz_B bang

      Or perhaps she’s a woman on the go (maybe Jen is), and Jen’s path and hers rarely cross.
      I know if I was forced to take a room mate I’d choose someone I wouldn’t have to see much.

      If Jen doesn’t like the notes, she’s got choices…pay more attention to the messes she leaves behind, or don’t use other people’s shit.

      Team 50-something and likes her home the way it was before you ruined it.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.4   Froget Menot

      As if it was not enough that your disclosing Dishwasher’s age resulted in a major breakdown.
      Whats next ,Toaster burning out and Fridge pacing back and forth in the kitchen?
      Privacy is for real.

      The Appliances.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 2:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   notolaf

    I just can’t believe that anyone would be foolish enough to think they could live with an older woman and NOT get this result. Silly Jen! I bet she wouldn’t have moved in with her grandmother or an aunt.

    Jul 22, 2010 at 11:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   veritybrown

      I agree. Maybe Jen hoped that an older roommate would pick up after her, just like mommy? Sorry, that doesn’t work when you move in with a stranger.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Ndawg

    I hate to admit that I learned a sh*tload about housekeeping just now by reading these threads. I have always wondered why the little charcoals get in the Brita water. And I definitely need to replace my kettle… I don’t even want to know what kind of hard water crap is deposited down there!

    Jul 22, 2010 at 11:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   erica rose

    This is like my current roommate that we’re renting from. Notes and emails every single day. You can either live alone and have a house that looks like no one lives in it, or you can have the benefit of half the mortgage being paid by roommates, and having a house that looks lived in. As I say to my crazy ass OCD roomie, it’s a house, not a museum.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 12:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      Spoken by a true “tenant”.

      Someday, you’ll have a home you’re proud of and get pissed off when others disrespect it…but not today.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   Amanda

      If you’re that proud of your home, don’t rent it out. You don’t get to make all the decisions when you agree to have a roomate! Especially if you don’t mention your eighteen page list of rules beforehand!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 4:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   Just Me

      “Eighteen-page list of rules”! My very first apartment came with a standard lease and at least five or six pages of addenda printed on perforated greenbar paper with all manner of rules regarding carpet care, general cleaning, holes in the walls, holiday decorations, and when I was permitted to open the windows.

      I only lasted nine of the twelve-month lease before I broke the lease and ran screaming from the place.

      My landlady was a nutjob; her husband was awesome. Any time I had a problem, I prayed he’d answer the phone. He never did. I don’t think he was allowed to answer the phone.

      When the element on the stove exploded in a shower of sparks as I was cooking dinner one Friday evening, her response was to shut off the breaker until Ralph could fix it Monday. I wasn’t permitted to have a microwave, so how was I going to cook through the weekend? I ended up having my stepfather remove the fried element and check the others so I could eat.

      When I was attacked by the wasps that built a nest in the windowframe, she told me to go out and buy a can of wasp spray. Ummm, no. I’d been stung enough, thank you. I felt a little bit bad for Ralph having to deal with that one.

      It’s been twenty years since that apartment. Clearly, I’m still scarred.

      Jul 24, 2010 at 2:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.4   Canthz_B bang

      Amanda, I don’t think she rented her house out. Seems to me she rented a room and allowed kitchen and laundry room privileges.
      Only you and Jen think she’s renting a home.

      Read the classifieds. Ever seen “Half a home for rent”?
      The ads usually read “Room for rent”. ;-)

      Jul 24, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.5   Risha

      Actually Canthz, they run about half and half in my area. I’ve often thought that I’d have to be pretty desperate for somewhere to live in order to take a “room for rent” over a full roommate situation.

      Team I Live Here Too Now, But Genuine Thanks For The Notes About The Appliances, I Didn’t Know Their Individual Quirks Due To Age.

      Jul 25, 2010 at 3:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.6   Canthz_B bang

      Risha, while the notes are in Canada and I’m in the US, the situation here is different. One would have to be pretty desperate if one were willing to rent half of their home as opposed to a bedroom in their home.

      We’re possessive control freaks! :-)

      Jul 31, 2010 at 1:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.7   oi

      It’s actually common than you think CB, at least in college towns.

      Jul 31, 2010 at 7:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.8   Canthz_B bang

      oi, I grew up in a college-area of town, live in what can be considered one (God knows the kids will be back soon :-( … )…I guess it depends upon the college town, and your experience may be quite different than mine.

      In my experience, people rent rooms out, they don’t share homes as in “You have the run of the place. What’s mine is yours.”
      It’s more of a landlord/tenant relationship.

      Not saying that never happens, but I can only comment based on what I know…though things may have changed due to the economy, and maybe more people are looking for half of their mortgage to be paid instead of help with the bills, I still doubt they are willing to sell their “king of the castle” status. ;-)

      Aug 4, 2010 at 2:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Sheri

    I swear I lived with this woman, but in California and not Ontario. I don’t think she moved. Maybe she has a twin.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 12:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   oi bang

      really? me too! It was in Ca, Berkeley to be precise.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 10:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Zoe

    I agree that all the requests seem reasonable. However, the number of them seem to suggest this lady shouldn’t be sharing a house. You’ll never get someone else to do everything exactly the way you do, I doubt Jen is actually a slob – I think it’s more that she does things differently.

    I cannot imagine sharing a house with anybody but my husband any more. I already get annoyed with guests after a few days :)

    Jul 23, 2010 at 12:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Ivana

      I’m with you 100%!
      I am not the cleanest of cleans out there, and my laundry has been known to pile up during the week, but you know what? It’s MY house, MY rules, and the only person that could ever bitch about is MY fiance, LOL.
      I love having guests over, but after a few days, I am ready for them to peace out and me getting my peace back!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 7:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   KC

    This reminds me of the roommate I once had in college who called me at my parents’ house during Christmas break to ask me who left wrapping paper scraps EVERYWHERE in the living room of our college apartment (she and I were the only ones living there, BTW). I had indeed wrapped presents in the living room, and had cleaned up, but evidently left 2 tiny remnants (yes, 2, as she “saved” the mess for me to clean up upon my return) that were literally minute SLIVERS of paper scraps, about the size of an inchworm each.
    OCD much?!?!

    Jul 23, 2010 at 1:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Froget Menot

    Giving or accepting abuse is all about the view one has of oneself.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 1:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   park rose bang

      That’s what he sade.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   snatchbeast

    Holy crap. That’s all I can say. Holy crap.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 2:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Froget Menot

    Conflicts amongst women = background differences whether ethnic, educational, generational or occupational and one’s own values.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 3:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Canthz_B bang

      Conflicts amongst women = HAWT!!!!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #27.2   Froget Menot

      and do bring your battle dress :)

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   TippingCows

    Seems like Jen is a bit of a slob. A couple of those notes are just going a bit too far. But come on – wipe the counters and shit after cooking – clean up after yourself, it’s not hard. I know when I live with roommates, I am far cleaner than I am when living alone. Why? I try to make sure I’m not leaving messes for others to find and take care of. The “how to fill the Britta” was a bit much … but eh, at least she’s fairly polite and doesn’t seem to mind writing the notes, eh? :P

    Jul 23, 2010 at 3:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   Zack

    Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with the note-writer on this one. The submitter sounds like a complete slob who just moved out from Mommy’s house, where lint traps clean themselves and counters magically get wiped down.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 4:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   Boxstacker

    I’m guessing the note-writer is a control freak. Jen might be messy- but it’s also likely that the note writer is making a big deal out of nothing. A bit of water on the counter is seen as an intolerable mess; a little smudge in the bottom of the dishwasher is interpreted as a habitual failure to pre-rinse the dishes.

    But it’s conjecture either way, so who knows.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 5:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Upstater

    For all you people sticking up for the note writer, I would direct your attention to the line that reads
    “I had to put a really good dishtowel out…”
    Seriously, when you start categorizing your dish towels, you have issues.

    And can someone explain the problem with the soya sauce in the dishwasher. How much could there have been? Is the dishwasher so old and crappy that it won’t wash away liquids? It sounds like the woman is complaining that Jen had the audacity to put a dish in the dishwasher without first sanitizing it.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 6:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Froget Menot

      Gone to fetch chlorine with my HH slippers.
      Back soon.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 7:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #31.2   veritybrown

      @Upstater – When I look in my dishtowel drawer, it’s pretty easy to see at a glance which ones are stained and old and which ones are newer; there’s no “categorizing” involved. Considering that Jen sounds like a real slob, I’m not surprised that 50-something would be distressed about having to put a nice one out for possible abuse by Jen.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #31.3   oi bang

      yeah! she had to put out?! as in kill it? Lady get a dog or cat to get attach to, not the dish towel!
      oh now I am thinking about it more pretty sure put out has got innuendo jokes somewhere!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 10:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #31.4   MyssAnthrope

      That struck me, too. I have two categories of dish towels- towels to wash dishes with, and towels that have ended up being used for wiping down, like, the cat or something, and are no longer for use with things I eat. I didn’t realize anyone really cared about the cheap little towels they use to clean dishes with.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 11:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   Bethany

    I don’t usually respond but by the end of this one I wanted to invite poor Jen to come live with us. Haha!

    Jul 23, 2010 at 7:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   kisher

      Me too Bethany!

      Jen~You’re welcome here any time!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 8:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   -k-

    It seems like the roommate writes notes because she doesn’t see Jen for days at a time.. and that Jen could probably learn a thing or two from reading them, annoying or not.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 7:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   Yessi

    I’m tempted to side with the new roommate. The 50-year-old is so anal, she dated her passive-agressive notes. She put dates on her notes.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 7:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #35   Rich

    These seem reasonable to me. Keep in mind that the teen or twenty-something that chooses to live with a fifty-something has to remember that the fifty-something is pretty set in her ways, and has been doing things a certain way for a long time, and isn’t going to be so open to change. Bottom line – respect the home of the person you came to live with, as you are benefiting from it.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 8:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Splint Chesthair

      Depends on if your paying half the bills though. I wouldn’t purposely be a slob, but if I’m paying half the bills, I don’t care if it’s your house, it’s now half my house for as long as the arrangement works out and I’ll do as I please.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 11:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.2   park rose bang

      I don’t know, Splint. Did you also pay half for all the appliances, utensils, good and bad tea towels and so on? And if not, will you pay at least half to replace them if they break down due to misuse? This might be the problem here, or not, but if most of the appliances in a house are not your own, I think you need to do your best to maintain them so that both you and the other housemate can use them. It’s not your investment, true, but it seems that it makes sense to respect other people’s property, especially if you also need to use it.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.3   oi bang

      No may be not but it’s not like tenant somehow forced the living arrangement on her. She decided to get the housemate to earn rent. She can’t expect her to dictate her around the house just because it’s her house.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.4   Kat

      Uh…yeah. Yeah she can. You said it: It’s HER house. This is probably an older woman who decided to rent out a room for some extra income. She has a perfect right to dictate what happens to her possessions and property, just as a rental company has a right to dictate what happens to their rental properties.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 8:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.5   Splint Chesthair

      But it has to be in the lease, if it’s not she’s out of luck. When you rent your house you’re essentially giving someone temporary ownership to it and all the rights that entails.

      Jul 24, 2010 at 8:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.6   park rose bang

      I think that the person renting, if they don’t have their own appliances, also now has the advantage of using other people’s appliances. It seems to make commonsense to use them in a way which means that both people have continued access to them, otherwise the person renting is going to be as inconvenienced as the person who owns them when they break down. I am not sure that I agree with your logic. The minute you drive down the road you are entering an agreement to allow another car to hit you, so stop your whining if I drive dangerously?

      Do you have kids now, Splint? I think you said you did, though I could be wrong. By the same logic, by deciding to have kids you have allowed them access to many of your home possessions. Do your kids then have the right to destroy your appliances because it was your choice to be a father? They didn’t ask to live with you. I am sure it is inevitable, but maybe they are within their rights?

      Why is mistreating an appliance a right? Sounds kind of kinky, I know. But really, in a similar situation, hypothetically speaking, because I rent a house with friends, and we all bring separate appliances which we pool together and use, they (the appliances) can all be treated like shit? Just running on the comment If someone is paying half the rent then they are entitled to be half as clean as you (or twice as dirty), or the statement that anyone renting can do whatever they want so long as they are paying the rent and other bills. I know there are pernickety roommates, housemates, landlords and ladies.

      The whole argument sounds a bit like some aspects of foreign policy. Hey, I’m sure you invited us into your country . . .

      Jul 24, 2010 at 3:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.7   oi bang

      I am not sure if anybody said that they will use the appliances in a way that it will break down. Reasonable use of appliances and OCD use of appliances are two different things. When you start to get attached to dish towel than probably it enters in to OCD realm.
      See that’s why anarchy does not work and society needs government and written laws. Everybody has different ideas of reasonably clean and reasonable wear tear. You have to come to agreement with the other party about reasonable cleanliness and wear and tear beforehand. May it won’t be as high as your (owner’s) standards and for the other roommate it would be neat peaking. Both sides has to respect each others to share a living space in a peaceful manner. If you want to rent out and have the privilege of extra income you have to compromise somewhere. I think Jetjackson said it best @ 3.14.

      Jul 25, 2010 at 1:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.8   park rose

      You are right. I was just reacting to the sentiment that Splint wrote a few times, that he had a right to act any way he wanted if he paid half the rent, including as messy as he wanted. I know he also said he would not willfully destroy anything, or be a deliberate slob, but the right to be a slob because you pay half the rent seems weak to me.

      I think that Jet’s comment is great too, and I think that you lived with a crazy lady, oi, and I think you were more patient than I could have been.

      Jul 25, 2010 at 6:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.9   billybob

      No – the crazy old bat is the one benefiting because she needs a roomie to pay the mortgage.

      Jul 26, 2010 at 2:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #35.10   Canthz_B bang

      billybob…”A” roomie, yes. But not necessarily “that” roomie.
      The landlord has the power, Jen needs to remember her place.

      Jul 27, 2010 at 2:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #36   Pterosaur

    Wow, lady. I get that older homes have their quirks, but it’s a house, not a nuclear reactor. Why not just get it over with and write huge instruction manual for your broken-ass home. That would make New Roommate Orientation & Training Night so much smoother.

    “Toaster (p.75):
    Do not operate the toaster above setting #2 or it will set off the smoke alarm. Keep it 12 inches from the wall at all times, or the heat will warp the wallpaper. Clean out the crumb tray after every third slice using a paper towel (NOT a GOOD kitchen towel).

    See also: Smoke Alarm (p.102), Proper Crumb Disposal (p.68), Wallpaper (p.43), The Good Towels (p.1), and Requisitioning Paper Supplies (p.25)”

    Jul 23, 2010 at 8:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   whatthe?

      You made me crack up with your funny comments, especially broken ass home.

      This old lady is very fussy. I can understand the kettle and hard water, but still fussy notes.

      I also want to know how old Jen is.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 9:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.2   Froget Menot

      @ Pterosaur

      I happen to be looking for a professional manager.

      The Toaster

      Jul 23, 2010 at 11:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #37   Emily

    Ooooh she had to work 5 days straight…poor lady.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 9:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Splint Chesthair

      Yeah, doesn’t matter. If you rent to someone you’re Basically giving them 50% ownersHip until the arrangement is over.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 4:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #37.2   Chris

      In what universe does renting out A ROOM constitute giving someone half-ownership of your home?

      Jeeze, all the little entitled snots on here need to learn a lesson about respecting others’ property.

      Team “I own my house and don’t want it burned down/trashed by the bitch renting the room”

      Jul 23, 2010 at 8:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #37.3   Splint Chesthair

      In this universe. Renting is essentially giving someone temporary ownership. Its why its so hard to kick someone out. Unless all these details are spelled out in he lease, the old lady has no legal ground to stand on. Renting is not letting someone use your stuff, it’s giving them ownership for a specified Time and you better have everything written down as to the rules in which You are granting this ownership or you’re fucked.

      Jul 24, 2010 at 8:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #38   Noelegy

    The older lady’s requests don’t seem unreasonable, but this reminds me of a past housemate. My husband and I shared a house with two male friends. One was pretty casual about cleaning, but wasn’t a total slob. The other was an anal-retentive neat freak who once told me he thought it was a character flaw that I would sometimes leave the dinner dishes for 30 minutes or an hour while I watched TV. They’d get done, they just wouldn’t get done right away, and he found that very upsetting. He would frequently leave very polite, detailed notes like this around the house. The same housemate once told the rest of us that since he was the only one of us who had two college-educated parents, he might be the only one who could appreciate having nice things and a clean environment.

    The living arrangement lasted a year.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 9:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   park rose bang

      One year? Wow, now that’s patience!

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #38.2   clumber

      Perhaps that is how long it took to dispose of ALL his body….

      Jul 23, 2010 at 1:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #38.3   Noelegy

      Oh yes: I almost forgot. He had decidedly…odd sleeping habits. He was a college student, and only worked weekends, so during the week, he would sleep for 4 hours, and then be awake and active for 4 hours. Lather, rinse, repeat. During his sleepy time, he expected all of us to be quiet and respectful. But he’d get up at 4 am and run the dishwasher (noisy, old, centrally located). He also was extremely cold-natured, so he’d get up and crank the heater in the middle of the night.

      I grew up in an old house where the heat and A/C were prohibitively expensive to run, so I was used to putting on a sweater or blanket if I was cold, and I never run the heater at night (I live in Texas). So we’d wake up gasping for air. Conversely, he’d get up and turn off the A/C in the summer. Not down, OFF.

      The sad thing was that as a friend, he was genuinely nice and considerate, and we’re still friends. We just couldn’t live together for long.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 1:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #39   oi bang

    oh! psaw! Old people are crazy. everybody knows that. I used live with a lady in her 50s. She had a one note in each room about something and she would have at least one advice about something everyday. She started with I should not put spoon head down in the dish drainer(?) after rinsing it, then to I should turn the nob of the gas in very particular manner, I should not walk too fast in house because that wakes her up! We had wall to wall carpet in each room, stuff like that. Once I did everything of her liking and she told me that I clean the bathroom way too much clean! I am like is that a problem? She says yes because than she can’t use it when I am cleaning it! We had two bathrooms. apart from her habits of goading people around she was very nice and helpful. So I kinda choked it up to old age. I was there for three months anyway.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 10:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   mamason bang

      50 is NOT old! :-|

      Jul 23, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #39.2   Mo®

      I agree Mama! ♥

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #39.3   TippingCows

      You choked it up, eh? Why kill the old bat?!

      p.s. I agree, 50 is not old – it just means that you’re more set in your ways.

      p.p.s. How do you goad people around?

      Jul 24, 2010 at 7:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #39.4   oi

      Chalked it up, my bad. That’s what happens when you learn language by listening to it from others.
      You know how some people are they can’t be satisfied. You can die for them and they would have comment about how you messed up carpet by dying. I tried to follow every freaking instruction and tried to be “her” perfect roommate but than realized that she simply does not actually exist. Probably she would have found flaws in a artificial robotic roommate that is made to her demand. she was like that with her own daughter too so I knew it was not personal and she’d not leave notes but talk face to face so that helped. As I said before apart from her impossible to meet exceptions she was nice. I was new in town and she helped me to settle. She once told me that I should not roll my eyes that much I might get some eye defects! ha! I was like if you want me to argue with you I can argue. Of course i said that in my mind and laughed it off to her, probably rolled my eyes too. I learned the way to deflect her demands w/o actually coming out as ungrateful brat.
      We departed on very nice terms too. We are still in touch.
      Yeah ok 50 years is not old.

      Jul 25, 2010 at 1:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #40   aaa bang

    I bet Jen is kind of messy, 50-year-0ld roomie is kind of anal retentive about her house, and they shouldn’t be living together because they’re just not compatible as roommates.

    Or, let’s just make this easier. They both suck. Everyone sucks. Except for me. Because I’m awesome. Team aaa.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 10:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #41   Julie

    And this is why you pay extra to live alone. If I ever live with roommates again, I won’t survive.
    These would be much better if she’d spoken in person. They wouldn’t sound as crazy then. However, I’m Team Jen on this one.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 10:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #42   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    I never knew that hard water ruins a tea kettle before – and I’m 55!

    Jul 23, 2010 at 11:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #43   GG

    It’s not about who is “right” on any of these issues — it’s about the fact that leaving notes is just a passive-aggressive way to communicate. If their work schedules don’t permit them to see each other face-to-face very often, she could set up a time to talk by phone. She can step out of work for a few minutes to make a call if these issues are so important to her.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 11:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   park rose bang

      Doesn’t one of the notes suggest a time to meet and talk?

      Jul 23, 2010 at 12:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #44   eepah

    Jen is TOTALLY in the wrong. 6 notes out of, say, 6 months (lease length?) is pretty reasonable considering this poor lady is obviously having to clean up after Jen on a daily basis. If she wanted to do that, she’d get a husband, not a roommate. ;)

    Jul 23, 2010 at 12:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   billybob

      Yeah – she simply REFUSES to use the dryer on medium heat. Clearly a horrible roommate.

      When did this site become an actual magnet for passive aggressive freaks? I thought the idea was to laugh at them?!

      Jul 26, 2010 at 2:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #44.2   eepah

      I wouldn’t have handled the way the older lady roommate handled it, but if kindly asking someone to wipe their crumbs off the counter or asking nicely for someone to rinse dishes before putting them in the dishwasher makes me a “freak,” so be it.

      If I actually knew you personally, I would come up to you and tell you that name calling is not nice, and ask you to apologize. Alas, I am writing you a note. FYL.

      Jul 27, 2010 at 10:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #45   clumber

    My reading comprehension must have gone to shit. I am floored by so many the comments today being in favor of the note-writer. I have read them through a couple times and still do not see where we can presume that Jen is or is not a slob. There are enough archived PAN with photographic evidence of a windex smear or a single crumb in a sink setting off an OCD PAN. I also don’t see that these are the only notes posted during her sentence stay with the older roommate. This could just be a recent collection – 2 of the notes are July 7 & 8. She may leave 1 note a day, how do we know?

    *shrug* I guess I don’t usually notice so much invented information… Or maybe I tend to give the submitters a couple extra thumbs-up since they contributed to my amusement for the day. Happy Friday, all!

    Jul 23, 2010 at 1:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   cole

      Totally agree with you. Actually, I got a sort of paranoid/delusional feel from these–as though the older roommate is accusing Jen of using and abusing appliances that she may never have touched. Let us not forget, also, that some people will consider a drop on water on the counter a mess so until we see pictures or get invited over for dinner, I’m siding with Jen.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #45.2   clumber

      ooooooohhhh… now that IS a creepy read of it… SO soon there will be notes, “Pls when you wipe with MY toilet paper, fold the squares FORWARD ONLY, never backward. Thank you.” ; “Pls when you use my toothbrush only brush from LEFT to RIGHT, never RIGHT to LEFT. And only rinse it with water from my teapot. Thank you!” and then “Pls when I am watching you, never button your shirts from TOP to BOTTOM. Thanks.”

      My… that is a creepy, and just as plausible, way to read these… Pls ‘scuse me while I go lock my doors and windows and grab a couple extra mags for my gun…. Thanks.

      Jul 23, 2010 at 3:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #46   Mbay

    Holy cow, I think I lived with the SAME lady! She deducted from my security deposit when I moved out because there was lint in the dresser drawers. Expect the same!

    Jul 23, 2010 at 1:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #47   mamason bang

    As long as you live in my house you will follow my rules, thank you, and if you don’t like it, you know where the door is, but please don’t let the door hit you on your way out because it’s an old door. I’m looking in to having it replaced.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 1:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #48   Maggie

    I wouldn’t feel comfortable living in that situation…I would feel that every move I made wouldn’t be the right one and would never feel like it was my home. Common courtesy and common sense should prevail without having to be instructed on every little detail.

    (and I’m an almost 50 yr old woman)

    Jul 23, 2010 at 4:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #49   wicked opinion

    Gotta go with Team Jen on this one… If you are this set in your ways, you need to consider your own OCD-ness before you start finding roommates. 50ish lady, know thyself! This was a bad plan from the start… I lived with a “friend” for a few months after being friends for 10 years. She wanted my rent payments but couldn’t handle living with another person. Every day was a new lament on how I was messing up her house and costing her money. I moved out and we are no longer friends. Now her house is 10 times dirtier and messier than it ever was when I was staying there.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 4:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   mamason bang

      How do you know? You’re not spying on her, are you?

      Jul 23, 2010 at 6:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #50   Chris

    If Jen doesn’t like having to actually take proper care of things and clean up after herself, she should move her spoiled butt back to Mommy’s house, not troll for sympathy on PAN.

    Team note writer.

    Jul 23, 2010 at 8:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Why do you think Jen is trolling for sympathy?

      Regardless of who is in the right or wrong, the notes are funny. And a little passive aggressive. That’s why they are on this site!

      Jul 24, 2010 at 11:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #50.2   billybob

      Notice how everyone that is “Team Something” is anal? Coincidence?!

      Jul 26, 2010 at 2:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #51   Cordelia

    These notes seem reasonable to me, although it would have made sense to discuss the dryer and how to fill the Britta pitcher when Jen first moved in. General house rules are usually the sort of thing you cover before moving in or when the person first arrives. Still, it sounds to me like Jen’s using “peaceful” as code for “motherly” – maybe she thought the older roomie would clean up after her. Not gonna happen!

    Jul 24, 2010 at 12:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #52   Madrias

    I have to go with Notewriter on this one. I dealt with roomies who would do all sorts of fun crap.
    Examples of what I had to write:
    “Don’t leave the fridge door open while you’re taking a number two!”
    “Please don’t hide the remotes, others need them too.”
    “The toilet is not a garbage disposal. Cardboard doesn’t flush well.”
    “Does it kill you to replace the roll!?”
    “Tools go back in the tool box, not left all over the work table. Also, projects are not to wander all over the house to be left where I can step on them.”

    Roommates are a pain in the fart.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 1:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #53   LS

    I’m glad to see that people don’t see the older lady as a nutbag of some sort. She works a lot and she has a lot of things she wants to impart to a new roommate. It makes sense to write these things down. Having to go and tell someone again and again how things are to be treated would be offensive, but there are bound to be a lot of things that are forgotten. If they are in writing, it’s a lot easier to refer to the notes the first few times.

    I think the notes are polite and are a good way to pas along information respectfully and without frustration on either person’s part. Once you get to a certain age, you can see how to avoid trouble before it starts. Being irritating all the time because of the way your things are treated is a volcano waiting to explode.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 2:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   billybob

      Oh yes I well and truly see the note writer as a nutbag.
      Seriously, PAN is now a “how to” guide for passive agressives?!

      Jul 26, 2010 at 2:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #54   Nicole

    I’m going with submitter on this. I rented from an older woman (not a roommate though) and while she initially seemed very pleasant, by the end of the lease period I wanted to kill her and these are exactly the type of notes that she would leave. She got to the point when she came over to check on the house (every…freaking….month…for…three…hours each time) she would mention that we need to dust more because there was some dust in the cold air return vent. I went over and looked, thinking it was clogged and I saw nothing. I mean, it’s a vent, it’s not going to be spotless. Anyhoo, the notes seem nice, but I bet that below the surface, the lady is a total control freak.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 7:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #55   sydney

    What the hell is a 50-year-old woman doing taking on a roommate? Seems like a bad idea from the start. Know thyself, woman.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 9:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #56   Mell

    Team Jen on the cleaning, team roommate on the washer/dryer instructions. People have different definitions of clean, and this woman’s sounds absurdly anal. One drop of water on the plate you put away? You obviously didn’t wipe it at all. There’s a scrap of lint in the dryer trap? Please clean it out! You don’t want to cause a fire, do you?

    Of course, Jen could be a total slob, but I’m basing this on my experiences living with similar PAN-writers. IMO, you take on a roommate, you have to compromise on the cleaning. Not everyone is going to be willing to sort your dish towels in alphabetical color order.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 10:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #57   Flip-Flappin'

    Anyone on Team 50-year old, I’ve got to reinterate “too much soya sauce in dishwasher!” This is so far past the line that the line is a dot to her. Sure, if it were something like, “too many corn cobs left in the dishwasher,” it would be one thing, but soy sauce?? It’s a liquid. It’s clean within the first 10 minutes of even the most ancient dishwasher’s cycles. I have visions of her not even needing to put anything in the dishwasher, but checking it anyway, to see what crimes against cleanliness Jen has perpetrated in there. It’s just too much.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 11:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #58   butt

    I’m Team Jen on this one, only because I feel that the owner should have been more careful in choosing a tenant, and clear in her expectations beforehand.

    My roommates and I are very casual about cleaning, so when we advertise for an empty slot in the apartment, we make it clear that we’re not sticklers about washing your dishes and taking out the trash right away, and if you are then you will not be happy here.

    50-year-old was probably under the impression that everyone has the same standards of living as her, but she should have advertised that she keeps a very clean home and expects the same of tenants. Hopefully she learned her lesson and Jen’s replacement will be better informed, in person. And if Jen is messy, well then she needs to ask her next potential landlord beforehand if it’s a problem if she doesn’t rinse her dishes before loading them etc.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 5:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #59   Jessica_Iowa

    I’ve lived this hell twice!
    I moved into a house and moved out as soon as I could, the woman who owned the place was nuts-o!
    I moved into an appartment with another crazy 50 year old lady! She was rude, and left notes around all the time.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 7:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #60   Ariana

    I lived with a lady who left notes like this on everything. She was in her 60s, lived in a trailer in the back yard, and there were 3 of us living in the house. She’d come in to use the shower and the kitchen, and she’d always freak out over something, like the recycling having been full for 3 hours but not having been taken out yet. And then, if anybody forgot to do something the way she liked it, she’d throw a fit about how we refused to ever help clean or do anything around the house. It was pretty much the worse thing ever.
    Doesn’t sound like Jen’s situation was quite that bad, though.

    Jul 24, 2010 at 9:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #61   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    I looked at house-sharing a couple years ago. The lady who wanted to rent to me had 29 cats (I am not making this up) and 2 very large dogs who she had to physically restrain to keep from jumping up on me. She told me it was okay to bring my 2 cats but they would have to be segregated from the larger cat population, cooped up in my large room; asked if they could go out in the yard, she lectured me that this wasn’t healthy for cats and would probably decimate the bird population, but maybe she would allow it… oh and “my” job in the house was to be thus-and-such, never mind a rotation or how did I feel about it… and the cats were all over the kitchen counters.

    Some situations, a sane person doesn’t get into in the first place. She called me when she didn’t hear from me, and I tactfully told her the location was too far from my job … rather than “Hell, no! You’re batshit crazy!”

    Jul 25, 2010 at 1:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #62   macmommy

    Huh. I thought MOST people worked five days straight.

    I can see both sides on this. Jen is not exactly fastidious, but her roommate is overbearing. Quite simply, they are NOT a good match. They both need to be more considerate or find a new living situation.

    I’m not quite 40 and I can definitely say that I have a particular way I like things done and I would have a hard time living with someone new…it’s a good thing I’m married. I can’t imagine how much of a hard-ass I’ll be in ten years.

    Jul 25, 2010 at 2:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #63   Sarah Ashley

    This is why, when I moved out of my parents house, I got an apartment all by myself. No one to tell me what to do, and only myself to blame for dirty dishes, or crumbs on the counter.

    Of course, my boyfriend recently moved in … and since he’s not my “roommate,” he’s my significant other, I get to clean up after both of us. My theory is that he wouldn’t do a good job anyway … oh, denial.

    Jul 25, 2010 at 4:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #64   MysteryGuest

    #1 Do you really have to be told in this day and age not to put recycleables in the lint bin? Do as she asks. Problem solved.

    #2 Use the laundromat. Problem solved.

    #3 See above. Problem solved.

    #4 See above. Problem solved.

    #5 Who doesn’t have their own tea kettle? Buy one. Use it how you please. Problem solved.

    #6 See above. Problem solved.

    #7 I don’t see this as a problem, unless you were expecting maid service with the rental of that room.

    #8 I’ve been wondering why the new Brita kept giving me charcoal with my water!

    Seriously, these are reasonable requests. Some of them she shouldn’t have to make.

    I advise you to find new roommates. Find ones whose ages you won’t be able to use as a permanent floating excuse to ignore any reasonable requests.

    I’m definitely opposed to the idea that renting out a room in one’s home entitles the tenant to wreck your stuff, although I’ve seen plenty of roommates, tenants and guests act as if it does.

    Team Fifty-Something

    Jul 26, 2010 at 6:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #65   laura

    These notes sound like they could have been from my first roommate, who thought I was a slob.

    My second roommate thought I was a neat freak. Go figure.

    Jul 26, 2010 at 10:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #66   J

    Oh man, all of you people calling this poor girl a slob without knowing the whole situation. One could say that the 50 year old woman is completely overbearing and apparently doesn’t trust that her roommate will clean up after herself.

    I’m going to side with the people who say, “hey why don’t you just TALK to her instead of leaving semi-condescending notes all over the place?” It’s much quicker and the homeowner won’t have to worry about aggravating her arthritis. Maybe these things should have all been addressed upon move-in or even prior to. “Hey, I have a shitty house with crappy appliances that I can’t afford to replace. Here’s how to use them. P.S. I’m anal as hell. Are you sure you want to live here?”

    Jul 26, 2010 at 12:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #67   infitsnow

    Wow, With the amount of people siding with the batty old bag*, I am starting to wonder if the majority of posters come to this site to laugh at the absurdity of the notes, or if they come here to re-affirm their passive aggressive nutbag selves.

    * Yes, it is ageist, yes I am probably a douche canoe.

    Jul 26, 2010 at 2:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #68   donkey

    Lord knows I hate to side with kids today, but I have to agree with those who wonder why this woman can’t have a five minute discussion with her roommate. I absolutely refuse to believe that there has never been or never will be 45 seconds that these women are together in the kitchen when she can share her nightmares of tea kettle decay. Unpleasant confrontation is an ugly part of sharing a living space, but is far more polite than covering the house in passive aggressive notes (believe me, my husband and I still argue late into the night over bath towel use) Notes automatically come off as hostile, condescending and accusatory rather than helpful.

    And yes, I’m sorry, some of these are unreasonable.

    a) what constitutes a “small” load and who gets to be the arbiter of that?

    b) I got married almost 16 years ago. We got a tea kettle for a gift. I use water from the tap and sometimes….SOMETIMES the water stays in there for days. So far the kettle is still intact, none of us have died from drinking from it, and the world is still turning.

    c) How does she know how hard the faucet is on and what direction it’s pointing in when Jen fills the Britta unless she’s standing there while she does it? And if she was, why didn’t she say “oh here, this is a more efficient way” instead of a note?

    d) In short, I believe this woman is being unnecessarily praised when you get to the last sentence of the last note: “please make sure the dishes are ABSOLUTELY dry before you put them away”. Right there I’m getting the feeling that this gal has issues. What exactly will happen if one dish has one drop of water on it? E bola? SARS? The cupboard will fall down? I mean come on.

    Jul 26, 2010 at 3:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #69   quietmarc

    I’m sure I had this landlady, except mine was crazier and had partial custody of a pre-teen child who she liked to verbally torment (but only on comercials).

    IMO, 1 note/request is reasonable. 8+ in a short amount of time is crazy and is exactly why I will never have a roommate again unless they are a spouse.

    Jul 27, 2010 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #70   Anon Man

    Jen’s roomie clearly has OCD or something. Everything must be done exactly her way (turn the filter to the side, only wash on medium, wash your plates completely before you put them in the dishwasher, etc.) Everything must be done her way or she will kill Sue.

    Jul 27, 2010 at 4:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #71   Mitzibell bang

    Ha! Ya know, the person who cares passionately about the correct way to do things is not necessarily a person who actually DOES them that way themselves. I’ve had housemates who wrote notes like this. One who insisted the recycling had to be organized *just so* or else you were a slob and an uncaring friend, was also the one who left the water in the kitchen sink running for hours because they got distracted while washing dishes and then realized they were late for an appointment and ran off. She left a stove burner on all by itself one day too. Another gem I lived with for a few months was in the habit of accusing all the other housemates of wanting to attract cockroaches because once in a great while a dry breadcrumb or two would be on the kitchen counter for a few hours. Meanwhile the laundry in his own room would go unfolded for days at a time.

    We really can’t tell whether Jen is a slob from these notes. All we can tell is that the other lady is VERY VERY CONCERNED. But, you know, the oxygen in the air may not be the right shade for her, either. ;-)

    Jul 27, 2010 at 7:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #72   Nomi

    I think Jen is lazy and sloppy, and the other woman has every right to tell her to clean up after herself.
    It would have been nice to say it personally though, the notes make everything so much more.. dramatic.

    Jul 28, 2010 at 8:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #73   LLL

    So you were her roommate after me, huh?

    Jul 29, 2010 at 12:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #74   r2p2

    These notes sound exactly like my MIL, who has been diagnosed with OCD. I am not a slob and my house is certainly not a pigsty. Still, I could easily see her leaving notes like this around the house (and have seen it to some degree when we visit her home) simply because the way we clean things is not the way SHE cleans them (both in method and frequency).

    These notes scream passive aggressive for a number of reasons.

    1. THEY ARE NOTES. This woman could EASILY just say to Jen next time she sees her, “Hey by the way, I prefer we do X around here.” If she’s older and forgetful she can leave notes to remind herself to tell Jen. Not leave it for Jen.

    2. The oozing of “pls” and “Thanks!” sounds nice but then certain phrasing (e.g. reminding us that Thurs to Mon is 5 days straight) and highlighting key points conveys nothing but belligerence.

    3. One or two notes for a new housemate who doesn’t know the idiosyncrasies of the appliance, I could understand. 6+ is just wimping out of what could otherwise be a harmless confrontation.

    Ultimately, I think older lady needs to clarify certain household rituals with Jen face-to-face. Jen could then attempt to appease this woman, who will in turn learn to compromise in living with another person.

    Jul 29, 2010 at 7:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #75   M S


    Jul 30, 2010 at 1:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #76   Steph

    I’m on the fence here – my mother is an absolute neat freak who thinks things are messy when by everyone else’s standards, they are immaculate. The 50-year-old sounds a bit anal about things, like my mom, but Jen sounds like she’s a bit sloppy too.

    Aug 2, 2010 at 12:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #77   hd

    control issues….

    Aug 4, 2010 at 1:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #78   Mike Pooposterous

    All of these notes are pretty reasonable though I’d back off of the “absolutely dry” on the dishes. Almost absolutely dry is fine. Hard water crusts up kettles, large loads can break a weak washing machine, food areas should be clean, dishwashers aren’t perfect, towels shouldn’t get stained (wash your hands a little maybe?). Sounds like Jen needs to live in her own place where she can be as messy as she wants.

    Aug 4, 2010 at 7:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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