When my younger brother Danny was around 6 or 7, I remember he brought home a project he’d done in school — a little book entitled “My Family,” or something like that. I don’t recall what he said about the rest of us, but on the page about our mother, he had written: “MOM BRINGS DINNER,” complete with a stick-figure drawing of her with McDonald’s bags in both hands. We all laughed about it, but I think my mother was still pretty mortified — and god only knows what his teacher thought.
Well, Mom, allow me to introduce you to Carmen: you two might be able to commiserate. When her son (who is, coincidentally, also named Daniel) was 6, his first grade teacher had the kids write little journal entries about their weekends every Monday. This was Daniel’s. (The teacher’s feedback is my favorite part.)
![17 MARCH MY NEWS: I WENT TO MY FRIEND LUCAS HOUSE. MY MOM GOT DRUNK. [Teacher:] Oh my goodness me! It's important for mom to let her hair down once in a while!](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5190/5609734552_6044f06622_o.png "17 MARCH MY NEWS: I WENT TO MY FRIEND LUCAS HOUSE. MY MOM GOT DRUNK. [Teacher:] Oh my goodness me! It's important for mom to let her hair down once in a while!")
Carmen is quick to add that she was most definitely not “drunk” — in fact, on this particular occasion, she hadn’t had a single alcoholic beverage. But just try explaining that to the school guidance counselor…
extra credit: Red Party Cups for Classy Moms
61 responses so far ↓
#1
joe
That is too damn funny!
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:29 pm rating: 90
#2
CakeasaurusRex
In the future, I will be both a teacher like this and a parent like this.
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:36 pm rating: 90
#3
zenvelo
Hey, it was St Paddy’s Day weekend! If this was Catholic School, half the class would write that. (The other half would be Italian.)
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:42 pm rating: 90
#4
edjamacateme
What is that triangular thing in the center of the drawing? Refracted glass or Mom’s impaired vision after a weekend of binging?
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:45 pm rating: 91
#5
Aina
Suuuure, Carmen. Suuuuure you didn’t get drunk.
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:46 pm rating: 90
#6
Canthz_B
Beats the heck out of “I went to my ‘Uncle’ Lucas’ house and my mom got laid.”
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:55 pm rating: 90
#7
Canthz_B
Is that George Lucas? Because that house looks like a spaceship of some kind.
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:58 pm rating: 90
#8
Lilly
this is my all-time favorite post on this site
Apr 11, 2011 at 11:04 pm rating: 90
#9
julio
FAKE!
Apr 11, 2011 at 11:33 pm rating: 90
#10
schambers
I have two kids, one still in grade school, and I can totally see this happening!
Apr 12, 2011 at 12:07 am rating: 90
#11
lupanime
I think Daniel was trying to draw something like this
Apr 12, 2011 at 12:14 am rating: 90
#12
TickleMyBambo
Let’s be real here, without being to obvious the teacher is taking the opportunity to voice her inner most desires… The chance to be able to”let her hair down” after a full day of dealing with rambunctious children and grading never end papers. I nice, stiff drink to boot.
Apr 12, 2011 at 3:02 am rating: 90
#13
TickleMyBambo
30 March My News
I went to my friend Lucas’ house. He told me that I can’t play with him no more. He says I draw his face like a butt and other kids are calling him “butt face”. Mom got drunk again and brought me dinner from McDonald’s. I like happy meals.
Apr 12, 2011 at 3:13 am rating: 90
#14
chesire cat
OMG! I love it! SO cute! I can’t wait till my kids start doing this kind of stuff. Too amusing!
Sounds like me when I was a kid. Except my dad really was drunk most of the time!
Apr 12, 2011 at 6:34 am rating: 90
#15
Kara
I love it how he titles his masterpiece, “My news”
Apr 12, 2011 at 8:13 am rating: 90
#16
Canthz_B
My News of Mom’s Booze
Happy Monday everyone,
Same old same old. Mom got plastered again this weekend.
I’m not even embarrassed by it anymore.
My friend Lucas got a new video game, and we stayed up really late playing it because his mom said that my mom wouldn’t be in any condition to drive until after her nap.
It turns out that having a lush for a mom can work in your favor!
Lucas and I think his mom used to be in special class, ’cause when my mom passes out his always seems to think she’s napping.
Apr 12, 2011 at 8:43 am rating: 90
#17
yogurt
my kids went through a phase where drinking an alcoholic beverage equaled getting drunk. fortunately they didn’t write about this in their school journals, “every weekend mom and her friends get drunk.” or, at least, not that I know of.
Apr 12, 2011 at 8:50 am rating: 90
#18
ashmeadow
Is that a mushroom in the pink-shirted woman’s hand? Maybe Daniel should have put his mom went on a trip.
Apr 12, 2011 at 9:01 am rating: 90
#19
Brenna
Ohhhhh, I guess I should be really glad that my son hasn’t done something like this yet. LOL!
Apr 12, 2011 at 9:51 am rating: 90
#20
carmen
the strange triangular thing is a Lapa. A thatch outdoor structure where us moms can sit and get drunk while we watch our kids play… I only got the ‘news book’ in the middle of the year to peruse, when they send your child’s work home so you can see how they are progressing. So his teacher talked to me every day, straight-faced,since march and didn’t mention a thing..
Apr 12, 2011 at 10:34 am rating: 90
#21
Me again
Would this mean that mom was a little teepee?
Apr 12, 2011 at 12:06 pm rating: 90
#22
Nunavut Guy
The” kid “on the far right kinda looks like a penis.
Apr 12, 2011 at 12:51 pm rating: 90
#23
Jiu Jitsu Los Angeles
Well, at least the teacher took it in stride. And, she added a note that I’m sure the mom really appreciated. Note to self: Kids really do say the darndest thing.
Apr 12, 2011 at 2:22 pm rating: 90
#24
Managed Hosting
This makes you wonder where Daniel got the idea that his mom had been drinking, or knew what being “drunk” was. After all, how do you really defend yourself? The teacher’s response is great!
Apr 12, 2011 at 5:25 pm rating: 90
#25
D
This is my fav P.A.N. I’ve seen! too funny!
Apr 12, 2011 at 10:07 pm rating: 90
#26
Gladystopia
I was in my late 30′s before I realized: most kids didn’t have an 8-foot high, 3-deep wall of liquor boxes in their basements, a wall which was filled with magazines, newspapers, and bits of assorted mail.
It was a few years after THAT when I realized: not only were my parents alcoholics, my dad was also a hoarder (and narcoleptic, but that one wasn’t HIS fault.)
Thank god that in the 70′s, most ppl’s parents were so FUBARred in other ways that my teachers never even twicked to my compilation of oddities. Bit of a shame, actually; could have explained a lot.
Apr 12, 2011 at 10:52 pm rating: 90
#27
BunchFamily
Amazing! We reposted it on our site for our readers at http://www.bunchfamily.ca!
Thanks!
Apr 13, 2011 at 9:29 am rating: 90
#28
Denise
OMG….that is funny. I’m sure the teacher has seen worse though.
Apr 13, 2011 at 9:53 am rating: 90
#29
Kurtis
“It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”
“What’s unpleasant about being drunk?”
“Ask a glass of water.”
Apr 13, 2011 at 10:04 am rating: 91
#30
Melanie
Hilarious!! When my younger brother was in kindergarten for Christmas they made a small book of things they wished for for Christmas and then hung them up on the hallway. My little brother wrote “I wish my mommy and daddy would quit drinking” 22 years later we still crack up about it. My parents were mortified. And no my parents weren’t drinkers, I don’t even remember my parents having alcohol in the house growing up.
Apr 13, 2011 at 10:17 am rating: 90
#31
Izzy4Realz
Hahaha. That’s like when my brother was little and in the middle of a store decided to yell “mommy! Don’t beat me!”
My mom (or dad) never beat any of us. >><< He doesn't remember a thing about that day, but I remember how red my mom's face was!
Apr 14, 2011 at 10:03 pm rating: 90
#32
Katie
I did that to my mom when she was taking me out of church because I was misbehaving. And it was in the middle of a prayer. Talk about getting an extra spanking for that…
Incidentally, it’s my grandfather’s favorite story about me. The look on his face when he roars “Momma, don’t beat me no more!” is pretty hysterical.
Apr 20, 2011 at 11:41 am rating: 90
#33
Ell
An absolute classic – love it!
May 11, 2011 at 10:50 pm rating: 90
#34
Anne
When I was in kindergarten, I told the nice policeman who’d come to talk to us about being good citizens that, yes, my mother drank and drove all the time. He hadn’t thought to mention “drinking” here meant alcohol. My Mom always has water in the car, and I figured that meant she was breaking the law. That was an interesting parent teacher conference . . . .
May 18, 2011 at 8:06 am rating: 90
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