This isn’t the first “coffee-maker etiquette” flowchart I’ve seen, but it is the most aesthetically pleasing.
Says Sarah in St. Louis: “The IT department in our office is notorious for drinking the last of the coffee without making more.” (Note the subtle “I heart C++” mug.) Apparently, one of her co-workers thought breaking things down into engineer-speak might help.
Meanwhile, in Toledo, Ohio…a variation tailored to a slightly different audience:
related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts
80 responses so far ↓
#1
Impressed
My favorite PA post ever.
May 13, 2011 at 7:13 am rating: 90
#2
Britishchick
Passive-aggressive yeah, a bit. But I like it!
May 13, 2011 at 7:13 am rating: 90
#3
geech
So glad I left office life behind a couple years ago. This is the kind of thing people worry about? So sad.
May 13, 2011 at 7:20 am rating: 90
#4
Sandee
Loving, “WALK AWAY.”
May 13, 2011 at 7:30 am rating: 90
#5
Kurtis
As an engineer, I must protest a fatal logic flaw in this diagram – it is possible to entirely bypass the “IsDecaf” check, thereby dooming oneself to a morning/afternoon of unexplained lethargy.
May 13, 2011 at 7:57 am rating: 90
#6
KJS
In the time it took me to read this, I could have made a new pot, but I’ve expended all my brain energy on this flow chart.
May 13, 2011 at 7:59 am rating: 90
#7
DLo
I need about 300 copies of this. Really.
May 13, 2011 at 8:25 am rating: 90
#8
Sed
I love this chart. However…
You should NEVER leave the burner on underneath an empty pot – when I was a grad student I worked for a large police department. I can’t tell you how many carafes we had to replace because they got burnt and brittle. I remember one morning I went to take the carafe off of the burner and the entire bottom had fused to the burner pad; I pulled on the handle, and the bottom third of the carafe broke cleanly off.
This is why I bought a single-serve coffee-maker for my current office – now I don’t have to worry about others pulling their weight AND I don’t have to drink the awful coffee that my department at the university buys.
May 13, 2011 at 8:26 am rating: 90
#9
Txmatey
This is the most clever P/A thing I’ve seen….so creative and well done too! Bravo!!
May 13, 2011 at 8:33 am rating: 90
#10
oi
Make sure burner is on. ON! Damn it. I SAID make sure! Do it! Do it gazillion times or no coffee for you!
Those are the emotion behind that “ON” in red lightening.
May 13, 2011 at 8:39 am rating: 90
#11
WhitneyD
This might be passive-aggressive. But it’s also the best office related note I’ve seen! I know we could have used it at the office I worked at.
May 13, 2011 at 8:48 am rating: 90
#12
Slap Stick
I laugh at all of you coffee addicted sheep.
May 13, 2011 at 9:02 am rating: 90
#13
Quite Contrary
HEY LOOK! A brilliant PA note!
May 13, 2011 at 9:07 am rating: 90
#14
kmd
Brilliant. The very first line contains my favorite decision-making loop of all.
Do you drink coffee –>no –>walk away <– but I want to turn it off!
May 13, 2011 at 9:18 am rating: 90
#15
Zorin
Trouble with this philosophy is you end up with lazy people who will peek at the coffee pot and if it’s almost empty, just walk away. As the number of people who do this goes up, eventually no new coffee ever gets made because no one wants to make another pot.
Until someone gets desperate enough, drinks the last of the coffee and STILL doesn’t make a new pot.
I think I’ll go to Starbucks instead.
May 13, 2011 at 10:28 am rating: 90
#16
Zsa
As the last one to come into my office (at 9:30) I was usually greeted by a stinking, burnt, partial pot of coffee made by the crew that came in at 5am.
I would make a new pot, get my cuppa joe and there it would sit until the 2nd shift came in at 3pm to be greeted by the stinking, burnt, partial pot.
It became a running joke. So much more so when I got preggers and threw up into the sink from the smell one day. then they TRIED to make me puke again. Those were the days…
May 13, 2011 at 11:00 am rating: 90
#17
ligercorn
Jesus would brew more and then turn it into wine. Yeah! Don’t tell HR!
May 13, 2011 at 12:26 pm rating: 90
#18
Car Title Loans
By far, one of the most creative notes that I have seen. What is it with IT and coffee? Maybe they think they’re too busy behind their computers that they can’t possibly spend the time to make more! But they should do it for Jesus!
May 13, 2011 at 12:43 pm rating: 90
#19
TickleMyBambo
What would Jesus do if he saw that the coffee pot was near empty? He would simply look at the chart.. Realize that it isn’t decaf, mutter “bummer” under his breath and simply just walk away. Why should he have to be responsible for humanity’s inability to make a simple pot of cheap coffee?
May 13, 2011 at 1:46 pm rating: 90
#20
Kay
I’m waiting for the companion poster:
What would Jesus do if there was only this much wine left in the bottle?
May 13, 2011 at 2:18 pm rating: 90
#21
VM
Notice that somebody’s already crossposted the chart on Neatorama.
May 13, 2011 at 2:41 pm rating: 90
#22
Divvitar
Jesus would ressurrect the day old coffee, and tell it to sin no more.
May 13, 2011 at 5:13 pm rating: 90
#23
bug
never knew jesus was a canadian!
May 13, 2011 at 7:33 pm rating: 90
#24
Raury
Well this is an awesome little way to educate people in any office job who haven’t surpassed a kindergarten education… It’s simple, has lot’s of happy little arrows to follow, provides multiple choice options and isn’t the least bit confusing… Good to see equal opportunity becoming more and more inclusive as it becomes more and more clear that society is becoming more and more incompetent XD
May 14, 2011 at 2:31 am rating: 90
#25
CAFFINE ADDICT
I love it! Caffeine legal. Tobacco legal. Alcohol, you better believe it… legal.
Marijuana?
sorr
btw, I am RIDING adderall xr (my legal perception)
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
May 14, 2011 at 3:12 pm rating: 90
#26
Ron Hyatt
Now if I could only get the liberal wankers to flush after themselves.
May 14, 2011 at 3:34 pm rating: 90
#27
Adrian
Actually, I don’t drink coffee… But the best fun there is is buying french roast and getting for the office and then watching everyone who drinks it, be really brighteyed for about 4 hours. Now THAT’S P/A
May 14, 2011 at 5:16 pm rating: 90
#28
butt
We have a K-cup machine at my office. Individual coffee for the win
May 14, 2011 at 5:36 pm rating: 90
#29
Steph
We have one too, you’d better believe those a holes never refill the water and I’m the only one that fills it when I get in.
May 14, 2011 at 6:15 pm rating: 90
#30
Ali
The coffee makers at my new job are so awesome. They’re ~fancy, but so damn easy to use. I thought, “There’s no way anyone can mess this up!” Yeah, right.
People just don’t give a damn.
May 14, 2011 at 6:29 pm rating: 90
#31
morgajel
My response was to buy a bean grinder and french press. It may be more work and I may look like a snob, but it sure as hell beats pouring a cup of coffee and having it taste like… the 6th level of hell. ugh.
May 14, 2011 at 7:40 pm rating: 90
#32
Iris
LOL I love the WWJD drawing. That is hilarious! Hahahaha.
May 14, 2011 at 7:57 pm rating: 90
#33
Windsor Grace
Please, Jesus doesn’t give a shit about coffee, he’s too busy collecting souls for heaven. Duh
May 15, 2011 at 9:39 am rating: 90
#34
Pilgrimchick
Ah, a perfect WWJD scenario.
May 15, 2011 at 10:44 am rating: 90
#35
serenity
Here is a german version of it:
http://i.imgur.com/oUNn2.png
May 19, 2011 at 2:37 pm rating: 90
#36
Ty
I printed this bad boy off and put it over the coffee machine. My P/A-note-loving office manager is so thrilled she can hardly speak.
Peace
Ty
May 20, 2011 at 10:59 am rating: 90
#37
Ross Hall
Hey, Toledo people, looks like there’s more than enough coffee to feed 500 in there.
Jun 12, 2011 at 7:41 am rating: 90
#38
Alex Coffee
REAL FUN!! Creative and original ! Two thumbs up
Jun 20, 2011 at 1:23 am rating: 90
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