An artistic phallacy

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September 9th, 2011 · 51 comments

Says Michael, of this note from the bulletin board of his college dorm: “It pretty much speaks for itself.”

related: Body hair is unsanitary!

extra credit: A brief survey of blatantly phallic art [flavorwire.com]

FILED UNDER: art · college life · graffiti · most popular notes of 2011 · RA

51 responses so far ↓

#1 The Elf

That’ll show ‘em.

Sep 9, 2011 at 9:17 am rating: 90

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#2 Silence

That’s awfully cocky.

Sep 9, 2011 at 9:44 am rating: 90

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#3 divaandwriter

Since the artist is a dick, that must be a self-portrait.

Sep 9, 2011 at 9:46 am rating: 90

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#4 unsatisfied

what a dick.

Sep 9, 2011 at 9:49 am rating: 90

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- #4.1 Smokey the Cat
  
  This is my favorite!
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 4:18 pm rating: 90
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#5 Grant

But… every door needs a knob.

Sep 9, 2011 at 9:56 am rating: 90

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#6 AuntyBron

To all you guys out there – is it normal for one ball to be much larger than the other? Inquiring minds want to know.

Sep 9, 2011 at 10:00 am rating: 90

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- #6.1 Grant
  
  Generally one hangs lower.
  A similar asymmetry exists for knockers.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 10:02 am rating: 90
- #6.2 zenvelo
  
  It’s called perspective…
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 10:29 am rating: 90
- #6.3 unsatisfied
  
  do your balls hang low/do they wobble to and fro?
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 11:20 am rating: 90
- #6.4 Vic
  
  Indeed it is and the phenomenon has even been scientifically studied: http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21028171.800-sex-and-asymmetry-how-the-camel-got-its-penis.html
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm rating: 90
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#7 Kittymama

“great detail”? Has either of these people ever seen a penis?

Sep 9, 2011 at 11:41 am rating: 90

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- #7.1 aaa
  
  I think Dick Drawer has only seen their own penis and are unaware that having horrible, two-dimensional, scrawly dick isn’t the norm. As for Note Writer, I’m guessing that the only dick they’ve seen is that of Dick Drawer. What we’re really seeing here is yet another passive aggressive argument in the tumultuous romantic relationship between Note Writer and Dick Drawer. They’re done keeping their angst and rage to themselves and are unleashing it upon the residents of the dorm in an attempt to gain supporters.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm rating: 90
- #7.2 Kittymama
  
  At least supporters would cover them up.
  
  Sep 11, 2011 at 3:34 am rating: 90
- #7.3 park rose
  
  @Kittymamma. The detail is all in the nine pubic hairs.
  
  Sep 11, 2011 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
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#8 Ryan H

The writer of that note should have seen that, um, coming.

Sep 9, 2011 at 11:45 am rating: 90

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#9 TKD

That artist is certainly a stand-up guy.

Sep 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm rating: 90

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- #9.1 TKD
  
  Maybe we should erect a monument to him.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm rating: 90
- #9.2 unsatisfied
  
  eh, they’ll probably end up giving him the shaft.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 1:35 pm rating: 90
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#10 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

Team Penis. Crudely drawn penises are hilarious.

Sep 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm rating: 90

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#11 aaa

I think I’d cry if my nonexistent dick looked like that.

Sep 9, 2011 at 12:30 pm rating: 90

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- #11.1 Deezer
  
  For that matter, what does your nonexistent dick look like?
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm rating: 90
- #11.2 gladystopia
  
  Hers must be super-lame. My nonexistent dick is WAY more gnarly and unattractive than THAT.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 3:05 pm rating: 90
- #11.3 The Elf
  
  Freud would love this thread.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 3:06 pm rating: 90
- #11.4 aaa
  
  My nonexistent dick is smooth and has nice curves like a pretty lady.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 3:24 pm rating: 90
- #11.5 Nunavut Guy
  
  Your nonexistent dick sounds really gay.Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
  
  Sep 11, 2011 at 6:16 am rating: 90
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#12 Melodie

I keep all my drawings of dicks in my Ghostbusters lunch box.

Sep 9, 2011 at 1:19 pm rating: 90

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- #12.1 Deezer
  
  Like.. man-dicks?
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm rating: 90
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#13 jetjackson

Are you sure it’s not just a mushroom growing out of a potato?

Sep 9, 2011 at 2:54 pm rating: 90

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#14 Dalamara

Normally, I would totally agree with the note writer, but the irony of it is just too delicious.

Sep 9, 2011 at 3:26 pm rating: 90

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- #14.1 park rose
  
  It’s heady!
  
  Sep 11, 2011 at 11:15 pm rating: 90
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#15 Me

Seems half-cocked.

Sep 9, 2011 at 4:04 pm rating: 90

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#16 Smokey the Cat

You have to admit, it does take balls to express yourself like that on everyone’s door.

Sep 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm rating: 90

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#17 Adamius

We need to give vast deference to artistic expression.

Sep 9, 2011 at 5:10 pm rating: 90

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- #17.1 Kieron
  
  Best comment so far.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 5:42 pm rating: 90
- #17.2 Adriana
  
  It’s certainly a high-brow penis joke if there ever were one.
  
  Sep 9, 2011 at 6:03 pm rating: 90
- #17.3 jadefirefly
  
  I thought I’d seen all the jokes one could wring out of this topic, but this one takes the cake.
  
  Well played.
  
  Sep 10, 2011 at 12:24 am rating: 90
- #17.4 lyx
  
  Nah. We can milk it for at least one more.
  
  Sep 11, 2011 at 12:12 am rating: 90
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#18 Adriana

4/10 – The ball hair leaves much to be desired.

Sep 9, 2011 at 5:34 pm rating: 90

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#19 Earl Hamsher

“asking for it”

Sep 10, 2011 at 3:23 am rating: 90

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#20 BoyNamedSue

Ahhhh…College

Sep 10, 2011 at 3:19 pm rating: 90

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#21 Nunavut Guy

Try reading this very well written tirade as you look over the red sketched penis and don’t laugh….or bust a smile.

Team cock sketcher

Sep 10, 2011 at 5:02 pm rating: 90

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#22 Red Beans

This has really brought the matter to a head.

Sep 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm rating: 90

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#23 Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

It’s just a bit of harmless college humor. No reason to get teste about it.

Sep 11, 2011 at 1:50 pm rating: 90

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#24 Español

I thought it was hilarious when the picture just shown. But now you have to click the text, and the picture appears in all its HD magnificence. Laughs increased by 200%!!

Sep 12, 2011 at 5:22 am rating: 90

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#25 Daniel

Bad Dick You!

Sep 12, 2011 at 2:17 pm rating: 90

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#26 923

@The Elf
“Freud would love this thread.”

You are all that is WIN.

Sep 13, 2011 at 4:27 am rating: 90

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#27 NoctemOut

Bah, it’s a college campus. For that reason I’d have a hard time taking the “rest assured you are the only person that finds humor in this” comment seriously.

Sep 15, 2011 at 6:39 am rating: 90

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#28 Katter

For me as someone who worked in a dorm, when people drew dicks on the bulletin boards and info posters I was much less upset by the fact that they’d drawn a dick than by the fact that they’d drawn a dick on something I’d had to spend an afternoon making, and was obligated to keep presentable until it was time to do a new one the next month. Student workers aren’t made of free time. It’s not that I even had enemies out to sabotage me; there were just drunken yobbos who thought it was funny to draw dicks everywhere and didn’t think about the fact that it was causing someone extra work.

Draw dicks on each other’s whiteboards (and passive aggressive notes) all you want, but leave the goddamn bulletin boards alone.

Sep 16, 2011 at 1:19 pm rating: 90

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#29 Eliz

Someone is a closet case and is trying to work through their denial.

Sep 18, 2011 at 11:20 am rating: 90

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#30 lolsuz

I was in college in the 80′s, and Garfield the cat was massively popular as decorations in the women’s dorms. I fucking LOATHED Garfield, however, and would go around in the middle of the night on a highly regular basis, drawing dicks on all the Garfield write-on/wipe-off boards on the doors. I’d draw all kinds of dicks, from tiny fat stumpy ones to hard throbbin ones to long snaking expended-firehose ones. My faves were the enormous vein-covered floppy cocks with huge hairy puddling balls, though. Ahhhh, good times. I still can’t abide Garfield and would relish the opportunity to dickishly deface one any old time.

Sep 29, 2011 at 7:55 pm rating: 90

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