Ceci n’est pas une porte

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September 26th, 2011 · 41 comments

Q. When is a door not a door?

A. If you ask a 10-year-old with a joke book: “When it’s ajar.” Otherwise…whenever somebody says so.

Exhibit a) from Trent in Melbourne, Australia:

Exhibit b) from Michael in North Carolina:

Exhibit c) from Laura in Greenville, South Carolina:

Exhibit d) from Shannon in Albany, New York:

Exhibit e) from Summer in Austin, Texas:

And lastly, a straight-up Magritte shout-out:

FILED UNDER: questionable logic · WTF?

41 responses so far ↓

#1 pony girl

Is this some sort of existential problem?
I mean, I see that it’s not an entrance/exit, but it’s still a door, isn’t it?

Sep 26, 2011 at 4:47 pm rating: 90

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- #1.1 pony girl
  
  I should read the intros before posting. duh
  
  Sep 26, 2011 at 5:12 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 selphie
  
  It’s possible they don’t open at all. kind of like those fake drawers on bathroom and kitchen sinks. hate those things, they always confuse me D:
  
  Sep 26, 2011 at 5:13 pm rating: 90
- #1.3 Grant
  
  Simply adoorable!
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 4:00 am rating: 90
- #1.4 The Ghost of Mitch Hedberg
  
  See, this is why I like escalators. They can never break- they can only become stairs. All you’ll see is a sign that says, “Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm rating: 90
- #1.5 The Elf
  
  You are not an experienced DC Metro rider, I see! What you see when an escalator breaks down around here is lots of cones and barriers to block access, a dismantled escalator, no one actually working on it, and an escalator running in the other direction.
  
  Sep 28, 2011 at 9:29 am rating: 90
- #1.6 makfan
  
  Oh, The Elf, I have seen that. No matter which way I am going, the working escalator will be going the opposite way.
  
  Oct 2, 2011 at 11:33 am rating: 90
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#2 Kim

Think Geek had a similar issue, and in true geek fashion, crowd-sourced a multi-lingual “This is not the door you’re looking for” sign: http://thinkgeek.com/blog/2011/08/mi-bosco-de-sequel.html

Or as Magritte intended: don’t believe the pipe.

Sep 26, 2011 at 4:57 pm rating: 90

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- #2.1 The Elf
  
  “It’s locked! Move on to the next one.”
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 6:41 am rating: 90
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#3 Phyllis

LOL Kim. I just went looking for that sign to post the link! They had a pretty aggressive (not even passive-aggressive) sign about solicitors at one point, too.

Sep 26, 2011 at 5:05 pm rating: 90

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#4 Chris

What I really want to know is why in the last picture is there a side door mirror hanging vertically?

Sep 26, 2011 at 5:06 pm rating: 90

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- #4.1 Nunavut Guy
  
  Well it’s obviously a European racing door.
  
  Geesh.
  
  Sep 26, 2011 at 10:35 pm rating: 90
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#5 NutellaIshMehName

This post is not a post.
It may look like a post but it is NOT!

Sep 26, 2011 at 10:03 pm rating: 90

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- #5.1 Nunavut Guy
  
  MMMMMM Nutella……..Chocolate Fuckin’ sandwich!
  
  Sep 26, 2011 at 10:37 pm rating: 90
- #5.2 The Elf
  
  This is not a reply.
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 6:42 am rating: 90
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#6 cizzerhand

No comment

Sep 26, 2011 at 10:58 pm rating: 90

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#7 Echo74

I have a door that’s not a door in my house. It used to be a closet, but had to be sealed off to meet housing codes due to a gas furnace being behind it.

Sep 26, 2011 at 11:08 pm rating: 90

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- #7.1 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
  
  But surely having a door to where the gas furnace is would be a good thing because it allows access to the furnace for maintenance and repairs(?)
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 8:08 am rating: 90
- #7.2 Somebody Else
  
  Dr. Chalk, the answer is simple: put up a sign, of course. Such as:
  
  “This wall is really a sealed-off door hiding a gas furnace behind it.”
  
  That way when repairs are needed, one knows which part of the wall to break down and doesn’t have to swing wildly everywhere inside the house in order to find it.
  
  I really hope that the housing code also specified the need for a sign. Otherwise that bit of code seems rather silly.
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 2:24 pm rating: 90
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#8 SmokyJoe

I tried using that one door as a wall like the sign said but, when I went to drive in a nail to hang my “Hang In There” kitty picture, the door/wall, shattered into a million pieces, what a ripoff!

Sep 26, 2011 at 11:19 pm rating: 90

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#9 Mrs.Beasley

I actually appreciate how the sign-posters made attempts at humor, but to paraphrase a line from Amadeus: “Too many words.”

Ever so much more pithy to say, “Not an Entrance.”

Sep 27, 2011 at 2:01 am rating: 90

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- #9.1 unsatisfied
  
  at the griffith observatory in LA — there is exactly that: a door marked “entrance” with one sign with a “not an entrance” sign right under it.
  
  for some reason, I found that fucking confusing.
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 10:19 am rating: 90
- #9.2 Somebody Else
  
  Clearly, what the world needs is a new universal symbol: a picture of a door with a red circle-slash imposed over it.
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm rating: 90
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#10 beep

This makes me laugh because my friend’s grandpa built their lake house and used glass doors for all the windows because it ended up being cheaper. All the windows have door handles, and the actual doors are the same as the window-doors. It’s awesome.

Sep 27, 2011 at 3:07 am rating: 90

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- #10.1 The Elf
  
  Imagine the hilarity of being in that house, having friends over, getting them drunk, going outside (closing the door behind you), and then calling for them to join you. Who would find the real door first?
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 6:45 am rating: 90
- #10.2 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
  
  What would be even better is if they all worked like doors, giving you free reign to choose your preferred point of egress and ingress.
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 8:10 am rating: 90
- #10.3 redheadwglasses
  
  I was at a party in a very big house. A friend and I went downstairs to use the bathroom. Inside the bathroom are one-foot-wide white and kelly green stripes, including the door. With the alcohol we’d consumed and the smoky treats we’d smoked, we couldn’t find our way out! Someone eventually came along and let us out.
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 11:22 am rating: 90
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#11 hobblebutt

A door is only a door if it leads you to somewhere else. Therefore, any obstacle can be a door if you make an opening for something to go in or out. Not necessarily having a doorknob.

Sep 27, 2011 at 6:41 am rating: 90

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- #11.1 The Elf
  
  Now that is some great philosophical bs!
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 6:46 am rating: 90
- #11.2 Amy in Toronto
  
  @ hobblebutt: by your definition, a hallway is a door; an archway is a door; a window is a door; garbage chutes are doors; death is a door; and stairs/escalators/elevators are also doors. They all “lead to somewhere else”. I enjoy being steeped in metaphor, though ..!
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 9:22 am rating: 90
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#12 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

Door. Noun. a hinged, sliding, or revolving barrier at the entrance to a building, room, or vehicle, or in the framework of a cupboard.

A door that is locked, nailed shut or otherwise jammed is still hinged and therefore still a door. It’s merely a door that doesn’t work.

Sep 27, 2011 at 8:12 am rating: 90

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#13 Shewearsfunnyhat

I worked someplace where a guy walked right into a window. The door was next to it. The guy ended up breaking the window. They had to put a sign that said this is not a door on the window after that.

Sep 27, 2011 at 12:10 pm rating: 90

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#14 Black Kristos

PLease, please, please: Someone make t-shirts of :Ceci n’est pas une porte. I’d wear the shit out of that.

Sep 27, 2011 at 12:13 pm rating: 90

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- #14.1 pony girl
  
  No, no, a t-shirt that reads: ceci n’est pas une blouse.
  
  or whatever t-shirt is in French.
  
  Sep 27, 2011 at 4:08 pm rating: 90
- #14.2 meeper
  
  T-shirt in French is t-shirt.
  Now shirt, on the other hand, is chemise.
  
  Sep 29, 2011 at 2:57 pm rating: 90
- #14.3 pony girl
  
  Merci
  
  Sep 29, 2011 at 6:29 pm rating: 90
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#15 Jesse

When dad remodeled his 1880s era house, he turned one of the closets into the new stairway to the basement, with a door at the top end. The original door to what was the closet is still there, but is nailed shut so it doesn’t open anymore. I guess he thought that was less trouble than removing the door and covering the opening.

Sep 27, 2011 at 9:42 pm rating: 90

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#16 Hello There

This is not passive aggressive in the slightest!

Sep 28, 2011 at 1:56 am rating: 90

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#17 TeamRedhead

I was just at the Mall of America last week (I don’t need your PA comments about that, btw; I’ve got my own), and there was this large, echo-y sound like an underwater explosion. With some kind of expo going on, there was extra security, and suddenly you see lots of gaping armed guys trying to locate the source of the sound.

Turns out, a 12-year old-looking kid had walked right into the very tall (and therefore very resonant) absolutely clear Apple Store wall at speed. This kid was in rough shape, but embarassed as hell. He’s got his mom, three Apple employees, and two security guys hovering over him, doing nothing, so I walk over, hand him my cup of ice from my Diet Coke, tell him to hold that to his head, and walk on.

I think Apple might have to re-think their “This Wall is so Clear and Unencumbered, it Might Well be a Door” policy.

Sep 28, 2011 at 8:33 am rating: 90

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#18 sophie

hahah genius !! :))
http://sophie-andersen.blogspot.com/
xx Sophie

Sep 28, 2011 at 5:29 pm rating: 90

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#19 Robbie

Taped up on a locked door at work: “This is not a viable egress.”

No one got it.

Sep 28, 2011 at 6:01 pm rating: 90

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