Apparently the “this will damage elevator” meme is the most exciting thing to happen around this Cincinnati cubicle farm in a long time.
(According to our submitter, the photos below represent only a fraction of the variations that have popped up all over the office.)
related: Death by a Thousand Puns
52 responses so far ↓
#1
Ethrdg
Do not leave a comment! This will damage elevator!
Oct 24, 2011 at 6:46 pm rating: 90
#2
linda
Do not post pictures! This will damage elevator.
Oct 24, 2011 at 6:59 pm rating: 90
#3
Jesse
I wondered at first if the first note in this series was the work of THX Sandra? On second thought, probably not….the first sign would’ve been inundated with clip art and had a directive to go see Casey in HR with any questions.
Oct 24, 2011 at 7:12 pm rating: 90
#4
Palomon
…and the terrorists win.
Oct 24, 2011 at 7:24 pm rating: 90
#5
Somebody Else
DO NOT TOUCH FINE ART!!!
This will DAMAGE ELEVATOR!
Oct 24, 2011 at 7:26 pm rating: 90
#6
shesajem
DO NOT TOUCH ELEVATOR!!.. THIS WILL DAMAGE ELEVATOR!!… oh wait..
Oct 24, 2011 at 7:48 pm rating: 90
#7
Jesse
If you have to throw up, please do it in the trash can and not the elevator. Our elevator is very old and can’t handle big jobs like throw up.
Oct 24, 2011 at 7:54 pm rating: 90
#8
Scott
Do not touch self!
This will damage elevator.
Oct 24, 2011 at 8:25 pm rating: 90
#9
cam
do not not hold elevator! this will damage body parts!
Oct 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm rating: 90
#10
Nunavut Guy
Do not kick me in the nuts this will cause damage to the elev………..my nuts actually.
Oct 24, 2011 at 9:12 pm rating: 90
#11
Penultimate
DO HOLD YOUR BREATH!
With luck this will cause you to pass out, preventing you from making any more of these stupid signs.
Oct 24, 2011 at 10:22 pm rating: 90
#12
Penultimate
If you DO NOT HOLD ON
for one more day, things won’t go your way.
Oct 24, 2011 at 10:28 pm rating: 90
#13
Rando
More! Post more! Or the elevator gets it!
Oct 24, 2011 at 11:34 pm rating: 90
#14
infanttyrone
Hey, you…you da bildin manager ?
Really a nice elevator you got here…
Be a damned shame if someone was to, you know, hold something…
$500 a week gets you a protection associate to ride it all day…
.
.
Oh yeah…
don’t even think about swiping his lunch outa da break room fridge.
Oct 25, 2011 at 1:28 am rating: 90
#15
Canthz_B
Do not hold forth with your opinions about whether or not a note is passive-aggressive, this will damage
reputationelevator.Oct 25, 2011 at 1:34 am rating: 90
#16
Canthz_B
Sam and Dave are prohibited from use of this unit.
Holding on until someone comes damages the elevator.
Oct 25, 2011 at 1:43 am rating: 90
#17
Canthz_B
Do not put callers on hold or they’ll damage our elevator.
Oct 25, 2011 at 1:48 am rating: 90
#18
Canthz_B
Do not hold your bladder. Go ahead, damage the elevator.
Oct 25, 2011 at 1:50 am rating: 90
#19
NutellaIshMehName
Do hold the door!!!
Or the person running to catch the lift will damage YOU!
Oct 25, 2011 at 5:59 am rating: 90
#20
TKD
Bad hold you!
Oct 25, 2011 at 7:25 am rating: 90
#21
The Elf
Do not stick your head between the closing elevator doors! It will damage the elevator! Probably your head too. Maybe. We don’t actually care.
Oct 25, 2011 at 7:25 am rating: 90
#22
Sophronia
“Hold on, I promise it’ll be alright
Cause we are stronger here together”
Oct 25, 2011 at 7:26 am rating: 90
#23
park rose
Well, that gave me a lift.
Oct 25, 2011 at 7:58 am rating: 90
#24
Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Do not damage elevator. This will cause a tautology.
Oct 25, 2011 at 9:37 am rating: 90
#25
Canthz_B
Don’t you hate it when management pays only lip-service to having an open door policy?
Oct 25, 2011 at 9:39 am rating: 90
#26
divaandwriter
Do not stand in the hallway and push the button to summon the elevator. THIS WILL DAMAGE ELEVATOR.
It will also annoy anyone who is already in the elevator, who was hoping for an express ride.
Oct 25, 2011 at 9:47 am rating: 90
#27
phil
Poor elevator! Sometimes it just needs to be held. Sad that someone wants to deprive it.
Oct 25, 2011 at 10:15 am rating: 90
#28
Amy in Toronto
Perhaps the people in this office merely think that the elevator is so fragile that it requires myriad warnings of “no touching” so as not to damage it, but has anyone really given this elevator a chance? This may not be some weak-willed lift!
Enough with the coddling, office people! You are not protecting this elevator by allowing it to be tippy-toed around.
Let the elevator do its job and thereby elevate itself from your lowly opinion.
Oct 25, 2011 at 10:20 am rating: 90
#29
gus
“People know not to touch fine art or hold elevator doors.”
Oct 25, 2011 at 11:03 am rating: 90
#30
Marnie
Do not watch FX it will elevate ratings for Damages
Oct 25, 2011 at 11:31 am rating: 90
#31
JZombie
In Cincinnati office buildings, he is allowed to hold the elevator doors.
He is, the most interesting man in the world.
Oct 25, 2011 at 12:19 pm rating: 90
#32
unsatisfied
NOT DO BAD PARK YOU!
Damage elevator this do will.
Oct 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm rating: 90
#33
PANs_Labyrinth
HI EVERYBODY I AM AN
ELEVATOR
IF YOU HAVE NOTICED I DON’T LIKE
MY DOOR TO BE HELD
SO PLEASE DO NOT HOLD MY DOOR AS IT
DAMAGES ME
AND THEN I WILL MAKE YOU PAY
SIGNED
YOUR FRIENDLY ELEVATOR
(And definitely not some imbecile trying to impersonate an inanimate object. Oh, no. Never.)
Oct 25, 2011 at 4:34 pm rating: 90
#34
Ace of Space
How about they just fix the elevator?
Oct 25, 2011 at 9:22 pm rating: 90
#35
Bcteagirl
I don’t think it was broken.. I just think one (or two?) office mates objected to the door being held (Can’t possibly take the stairs, or wait one minute) so posted a ridiculous sign. And now everyone is rightly mocking them.
Oct 26, 2011 at 3:32 pm rating: 90
#36
Who loves puns?
Do not hold door!!!
It will damage elevator’s self-esteem after their recent painful breakup.
In fact, the elevator wants you to know you’re just a rebound relationship, and, after this brief separation, it’ll be reunited with the doors once again.
Oct 26, 2011 at 7:08 pm rating: 90
#37
aliceblue
Sigh, I think we have this same elevator at work. From experience I’ll add
Don’t breath while riding; this will damage the elevator.
Oct 27, 2011 at 12:23 am rating: 90
#38
Singe
DO NOT DAMAGE ELEVATOR! THIS WILL DAMAGE ELEVATOR!
Nov 9, 2011 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
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