Angela and her father were poking around the local dollar store in Metuchen, New Jersey when we they came across these boxes of Christmas lights.
“We originally thought these vaguely ominous messages were meant to harken back to the ‘true spirit of Christmas’ but these threats don’t exactly engender goodwill toward men,” Angela says. “I don’t know for whom these vaguely ominous messages are really intended, but s/he must have seriously pissed off the manufacturer.”
related: Subliminal self-esteem killers
extra credit: Evil Elf on the Shelf
48 responses so far ↓
#1
thurs
lol wtf!
Dec 13, 2011 at 7:23 pm rating: 90
#2
Andthen
Trisonic: The brightest!
(Doing anything for yourself will lead to death.)
Dec 13, 2011 at 7:26 pm rating: 90
#3
FeRD
See, now this makes me understand the 1%. The single best argument for becoming a wealthy & powerful corporate bigwig, is that you get to use your entire company as a vehicle for whatever personal feuds or petty aggressions you like!
Dec 13, 2011 at 7:49 pm rating: 90
#4
shwo!
Trisonic: If you make others wait for the dryer, your laundry will suffer the consequences.
Dec 13, 2011 at 7:53 pm rating: 90
#5
Sesquipedalian
Best Quality. Best Services. Best Prices. Disgruntled Copy Editors.
http://www.trisonic.com
Dec 13, 2011 at 8:04 pm rating: 90
#6
quat
I don’t think I’d feel comfortable asking my husband to hang those lights up for me. Sounds like it might be the last request I’d ever ask of him.
Dec 13, 2011 at 8:05 pm rating: 90
#7
taosaur
Buddhist aphorisms badly translated FTWTF!
Dec 13, 2011 at 8:09 pm rating: 90
#8
qua
I see they moved the fortune cookie person again, this time to the lights dept… Just wait till he get to the plumbing dept ..GO TEAM Trisonic !
Dec 13, 2011 at 8:34 pm rating: 90
#9
Mrs.Beasley
And somewhere in Beijing, there’s a Fortune Cookie factory trying to figure out why their fortunes now include such wisdom as “Indoor Use Only,” and “If one goes out, the rest stay lit!”
Dec 13, 2011 at 9:04 pm rating: 90
#10
emily
Quotes from Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book?
Dec 13, 2011 at 9:50 pm rating: 90
#11
tortie
http://www.bulbamerica.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/0d4d2dbf6d17880eb865d4d6b0c91a52/1/4/14622.jpg
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
More bulbs of wisdom:
To see clearly within ourselves is the most difficult thing to do.
If we use violence to reduce disagreement and conflict, then we must expect violence every day.
Batteries:
Life is empty if we do nothing to pass the days.
Doing nothing and idling time away consumes our life.
Just…wow.
Dec 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm rating: 90
#12
Cassie
Those Gryffindor lights can go fuck themselves.
Dec 13, 2011 at 10:34 pm rating: 90
#13
aliceblue
Really people, has no one ever seen Catholic Christmas lights? They are packaged to ensure that you will feel guilty even while you are having fun.
Dec 13, 2011 at 11:22 pm rating: 90
#14
Elhpair
Seems someone decided to change the lorem ipsum text for the fortune cookies text he just eat.
Dec 14, 2011 at 6:26 am rating: 90
#15
jay
It is like a free fortune cookie…
Dec 14, 2011 at 9:30 am rating: 90
#16
Nina
“Made in China” explains it all. I imagine the intentions were good, but the actual goodwill of the messages were lost in translation.
Dec 14, 2011 at 10:56 am rating: 90
#17
Jami
Well, they are made in China which is a Communist country. So perhaps this is a “take this you capitalist pigs” crack?
Dec 14, 2011 at 5:20 pm rating: 90
#18
Mr.Nick
Probably a photochop. However, Chinese to English translation isn’t exactly perfect.
I suppose that’s why that junk ends up in the dollar stores and not Wal Mart..
Dec 18, 2011 at 12:31 am rating: 90
#19
auroravii
Made in China. Obviously communist propaganda!
Dec 29, 2011 at 4:17 pm rating: 90
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