They stole your food, disrupted your sleep, acted like slobs…and usually somehow managed to blame you. 2011: the year of assholes (and the snarky smartasses who goad them.)
Chief among them, and the landslide winner of the 2011 “douchecanoe of the year” award: the insufferably self-righteous vegan. Not that there wasn’t some stiff competition, of course. Cast your votes in the comments!
![DO NOT REMOVE. This is the property of unit 1. We pay rent for this carspace and shall therefore use it for whatever vehicle we want to. [crossed out scribbles]](http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6203/6027389430_4e0bc2265a_b.jpg)
![[Note 1:] Every thing in this drawer belongs to Elaine. Do NOT use or steal anything in here - It is for me - Elaine [Note 2:] Everything else in this refrigerator belongs to everybody else. It belongs to everybody else. Thank you, Everybody Else](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5203/5323991131_e9348e653f.jpg "[Note 1:] Every thing in this drawer belongs to Elaine. Do NOT use or steal anything in here - It is for me - Elaine [Note 2:] Everything else in this refrigerator belongs to everybody else. It belongs to everybody else. Thank you, Everybody Else")
![Hi, my name is Jack I accidently [sic] hit your car & someone saw me so I'm pretending to right down my details. SORRY. Jack](https://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/accident-note-hi-my-name-is-jack-i-accidentally-hi1.jpg "Hi, my name is Jack I accidently [sic] hit your car & someone saw me so I'm pretending to right down my details. SORRY. Jack")
![7 MARCH MY NEWS: I WENT TO MY FRIEND LUCAS HOUSE. MY MOM GOT DRUNK. [Teacher:] Oh my goodness me! It's important for mom to let her hair down once in a while!](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5190/5609734552_6044f06622_o.png "7 MARCH MY NEWS: I WENT TO MY FRIEND LUCAS HOUSE. MY MOM GOT DRUNK. [Teacher:] Oh my goodness me! It's important for mom to let her hair down once in a while!")
![Dear Mother of Hair Baby, Please take care of your disgusting little child, I'm tired of seeing it. I don't care if you love it with all your heat, I don't want to see it. If you care for it so much take the little varment [sic] to your room & care for it there. Your Truly, Disgusted](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5242/5325794487_98b30a8be8.jpg "Dear Mother of Hair Baby, Please take care of your disgusting little child, I'm tired of seeing it. I don't care if you love it with all your heat, I don't want to see it. If you care for it so much take the little varment [sic] to your room & care for it there. Your Truly, Disgusted")
(Click on any of the photos above to see the original posts in all their glory.)
Dishonorable mentions:
- Clues you might be stuck in a soul-sucking job
- In other words, no d-bags allowed
- Need another reason to skip the tanning bed?
- Death by a thousand puns
- Possibly the best tooth fairy letters of all time
- This is a candy-optional office
- See you never again in my life
- It’s not rocket science
- Mean Mr. Mustard: Beatle-mania at Abbey Road
- Please don’ climb the tree!
- This locker room is a nudity-free zone
related: The Most Popular Notes of 2010
37 responses so far ↓
#1
Guy Paul
I like Jerry Brown’s the most, but those are all quite good.
Jan 1, 2012 at 9:46 pm rating: 90
#2
Roto13
The last one sounds like something Glados would say.
Jan 1, 2012 at 10:48 pm rating: 90
#3
wright1
Jack (pretending-to-write-down-contact-info-after-hitting-your-car) definitely gets my Douchebag of ’11 vote.
If there’s a Righteous PA Note category, then the clothes-freezing resident of 301 wins in that division!
Jan 2, 2012 at 12:03 am rating: 90
#4
meri
I love the Wrath of the Ancients, and remember chuckling over it for many days. My second choice is the clothes washing, apartment 301 dwelling excellent PA note writer. It was to the point and well deserved.
Jan 2, 2012 at 1:48 am rating: 90
#5
Who passed out the Haterade?
If we can vote for more than one, then count me in for apartment 301 and the Amazon toilet-paper thief. If it’s gotta be one or the other, though… I guess the Amazon toilet-paper thief, because it made me laugh the most.
Jan 2, 2012 at 5:05 am rating: 90
#6
lindsay
I really enjoy the penis one.
Jan 2, 2012 at 8:00 am rating: 90
#7
Murray
Lindsay, you accidentally put the word “one” at the end of your sentence.
Jan 2, 2012 at 8:23 am rating: 90
#8
Ho-Ju
My favorites:
1. Wrath of the ancients
2. Candy optional
3. Insufferably self-righteous vegan
Jan 2, 2012 at 9:03 am rating: 90
#9
dot
I have to go with the toy car one. PA, but still hilarious. And technically, they are still within their right….
Jan 2, 2012 at 9:22 am rating: 90
#10
CdnGinger
1. Drunk mommy (not strictly speaking PA but I loved the teacher’s reaction)
2. Apt. 301
3. Death by 1000 puns
Jan 2, 2012 at 12:29 pm rating: 90
#11
fibrowitch
I have to send my love to the little car in the parking space. I have to pay for my garage space and it drives me crazy when I come back home and find someone in my parking space.
Jan 2, 2012 at 4:09 pm rating: 90
#12
Lily
I vote for Apt 301. Written on wrapping paper, affixed with happy face bandaid, she is “also” an asshole AND is Canadian! Ha.
Jan 2, 2012 at 10:21 pm rating: 90
#13
Abby
I love the coffee pot diagram! I can totally relate and the aesthetically pleasing aspect of it definitely makes me vote for it.
Jan 3, 2012 at 12:40 pm rating: 90
#14
Sus
These are all beautiful, and I especially enjoyed the visual response to the request to stop drawing male genitalia and of course my very own governor’s letter to the state legislature.
However, after rereading the self-righteous vegan’s novella and getting pissed off all over again, there’s no question which writer wins the prize of a bacon cheeseburger with spam and a side of beef jerky.
Jan 3, 2012 at 3:58 pm rating: 90
#15
Tara
My vote goes to the Amazon Toilet Paper Bandit! Correct grammar, and gets the point across without needing exclamation points or smiley faces. “I can understand your need for 30 rolls of toilet paper considering you’re a huge asshole.”
Hilarious.
Jan 4, 2012 at 7:36 am rating: 90
#16
Rattus
Apartment 301!!! In part because anyone remotely interesting is an asshole upon occasion, and I genuinely admire those who will acknowledge that they are. Kudos to you, asshole in 301.
Second and third are tied – peeogram (I want to smack all the hoverers) and raging vegan (love it when the self-righteous are so blatant about it).
Jan 4, 2012 at 8:44 am rating: 90
#17
SoupySales
Too many to choose from!
Are we supposed to vote for:
– The biggest douche PAN? If so, my vote would go to either Noisy Gamer or Jack, the Cowardly Pretend Note-writer.
– The PAN that tickled us the most? Gov. Brown.
– Or the PAN that we could sympathize with the most? The laundry-tosser.
However, the PANniest of PANs goes to “poopies” note-writer for her — I’m assuming it’s a woman — language (“Sillies,” “poopies”, correct use of “you’re”), handwriting, and actions. The hearts in the exclamation points seal the win.
Jan 4, 2012 at 12:06 pm rating: 90
#18
Palomon
Maybe it should be judged like Halloween costumes:
Funniest: Penis Drawings
Scariest: Drunk Mommy
Sexiest: Drunk Mommy
Most Creative: (tie) Coffee Pot Decision Map/Help Desk Wheel
Most Passive: Jack, the No Details Guy
Most Aggressive: Frozen Laundry
Most Passive-Aggressive: Poop Collector (“Hey, Sillies” is the tie breaker vs “Good Month to be a Bitch”)
Spirit award for being “Funny (if not necessarily passive-aggressive) note from a pissed off person”: Parking Spot Saver
Runner Up: Gov. Brown’s totally not P nor A but dryly funny note. Parking spot wins with great use of a prop. Had Mr. Brown put the note on the stuffed lion he might wear the crown.
Jan 4, 2012 at 1:42 pm rating: 90
#19
Palomon
Forgot the Douche Canoe Award: “Invest in Ear Plugs”
Jan 4, 2012 at 4:29 pm rating: 90
#20
Susan
I thought the Amazon toilet paper note was awesome, and I feel sure I’d like the note writer. He/she has a right to be pissed off, no direct way of confronting the thief, and he found a funny way to vent. Two thumbs up!
Jan 4, 2012 at 9:11 pm rating: 90
#21
Annie American
Governor Moonbeam’s memo made me laugh.
1. Government does not create private sector jobs.
2. Clean/Green jobs are a myth, see Solyndra, et al.
3. No Democrat has ever supported cutting taxes to benefit the private sector. I don’t know what Gov. Moonbeam is referring to, but Calif has very high taxes and they want to increase them more. They think higher taxes will mean more income, but it just forces businesses out of the state.
Then again, Jerry Brown ran the state into the ground in the 1970′s and the voters are giving him a second chance to do it again. Yay!
Jan 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm rating: 90
#22
Doodle Bean
1. “When you’re all alone and civilization has crumbled…” because it takes the butterfly effect to new heights of lunacy!
2. Gov. Brown’s masterpiece of PA Note because it’s so well worded and on official letterhead. He stands behind his PAN’s!!
3. Toilet Paper one because it’s clever and has the added mystery of why anyone would order TP through Amazon!!!
Jan 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm rating: 90
#23
nancy
“Next time I’ll burn the mail”.
Self-righteous, offensive.. it’s also a hideously over-the-top reaction with a lovely hint of genuine menace that is rarely found in a good passive aggressive note.
Bravo.
Jan 6, 2012 at 3:38 am rating: 90
#24
NonnyMus
Is it passive aggressive to attempt to hijack a PAN thread with political b.s.? Yes, I think it is.
Well done, idiot!
Jan 6, 2012 at 10:55 am rating: 90
#25
NonnyMus
Before I read unAmerican Annie’s comment, I didn’t have Governor Brown’s letter as my first choice, but I do now!
Anyone who can piss off a teabagger that much should be given a prize!
I’d vote for the earplugs one as the most douchie. Kids these days…
Jan 6, 2012 at 10:59 am rating: 90
#26
Debbie
I love the Jerry Brown one, also a big fan of the drunk mum and the IT Help Desk Wheel (I want one of those)
Jan 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm rating: 90
#27
Tom
I like Gov. Brown’s the best. It was the most official and, therefore, the most hysterical!
Jan 10, 2012 at 3:23 am rating: 90
#28
Clinozoisite
My vote is for the frozen clothes in a snowbank message. The act of dumping their clothes outside is aggressive, but the note-leaving is passive, so I’m a huge fan. Best of both worlds!
Jan 12, 2012 at 6:18 pm rating: 90
#29
Blake
The washing machine one isn’t passive-aggressive, and frankly I agree with the note writer and their actions. Stopping their laundry was a douchey move to start with and made the ‘victim’ fully worthy of their fate.
The vegan, whatever you may think of them, has an excellent point. If she truly believes ‘meat is murder’ then she should be trying to outlaw it and use force to prevent its consumption, as one would try to stop any murder. My question is: what exactly is she going to do to ‘disallow’ meat being in the house? Throw it away (and necessitate buying more meat)?
Jan 22, 2012 at 5:12 am rating: 90
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